“That boy would forget his head if it weren’t attached.” He rose as he spoke, and his expression was indulgent at the mention of his youngest. “I’m grateful for your interest in my children, Teacher Leah. If there are any difficulties, you will let me know.”
That sounded more like an order than a request, but she nodded. It seemed that, having delivered his opinion, Daniel intended to leave without further ado.
“Have there been any troubles with the children that I should know about? Any health concerns, or anything like that?”
“None.” Holding his hat in one hand and the primer in the other, he turned toward the door. It gave her the feeling that if there had been any problems, she wouldn’t hear about them from Daniel.
She followed him back through the row of desks and out the door to the porch. He paused on the front step, one hand on the railing, and looked back at her. “Would you want me to wait while you lock up now?”
“That’s kind of you, but I have some cleaning to do before I go home.” She waved to the children as they came running toward their father.
“I’ll be going then.” His long stride cleared the steps, but then he paused again, his eyes narrowing as he stared down the lane. “It seems you have another visitor, Teacher Leah.”
Dust rose from the dirt road as a car—a bright red car—drew up to the school. The sunlight glittered on the paint and chrome, and then on the fair hair of the man who slid out and stood looking at her.
Her heart thudded to a stop. Johnny Kile had come back.
CHAPTER TWO
Leah
reached behind her, pressing her hands flat against the door frame for support. A heavy band seemed to tighten around her chest, compressing her ribs until she couldn’t take a breath. Certainly she couldn’t speak a single word.
But she had to. She had to breathe, had to nod, had to speak and act as if it were an everyday thing to see John Kile after all these years.
Leah managed a shallow breath, inhaling the scent of fresh-cut grass. Rachel had sent her husband over from the farm to mow yesterday, so that all would be in readiness for the picnic. Rachel couldn’t have imagined that her twin brother would show up here today, not that Johnny was likely to notice the grass.
John came toward the schoolhouse porch slowly, as if unsure of his welcome now that he was here. She forced herself to raise her eyes, to look at the person he’d become in ten years away among the English.
Odd. She knew it was John. She had recognized him the instant he stepped from the car. But the boy she’d known ten years ago had little in common with the worldly man who stood before her. The clothes, the hair, even the way he stood and the expression on his face were different. She was so used to seeing a beard on adult males that his face looked naked without it.
Then he smiled, lips quirking in the way that showed the dimple at the corner of his mouth, and he was Johnny again.
“It’s been a long time, Leah. It’s really good to see you.”
His gaze moved from her to Daniel Glick, who stood where he’d been when he spotted the car. Daniel stared back, his face stolid, as if he waited for something. An explanation, maybe.
A natural reaction, that was certain sure. An English man coming to call at the Amish school was unusual. Daniel would stay to be sure nothing was wrong. She had no choice but to introduce them.
“Daniel Glick, this is John Kile. John is . . . an old friend.” What else could she call him?
Daniel gave a short nod, not offering to shake hands. His expression didn’t change, but she sensed his taut figure stiffen. Had he been in Pleasant Valley long enough to have heard of the Kiles’ son, who’d broken his engagement, his baptismal vows, and his mother’s heart to turn English?
They couldn’t stand here staring at one another. Somehow she had to get things back to normal. Daniel shifted his gaze to her, a question in his intent face, and she managed a faint, reassuring smile.
“It was gut of you to come, Daniel. I’ll see the children to morrow.”
He didn’t move for a moment, and she couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. It couldn’t be a positive thought, she’d guess.
Finally he nodded. He turned away, walking quickly toward his buggy without a backward glance. In a moment the children had scrambled in. The buggy rolled off down the lane.
“Someone new in the community?” Johnny asked. “I don’t recognize him.” He stood looking up at her, one hand on the stair railing, sunlight turning his hair to flax.
“He and his family just moved here from Lancaster County.” And why were they talking about Daniel when so many other things shouted to be said?
“He wasn’t very friendly.”
“Do you expect friendship here?” Her words sounded more in control than she felt.
His hand tightened on the railing. “Maybe not. I guess things haven’t changed much, have they?”
“They don’t. That’s the choice we make.” The choice he had rejected.
“Look, Leah, can we go inside and talk?” He planted one foot on the porch step, as if he’d come closer to her, and she felt a wave of something that might be panic.
“The porch is a fine place to talk.” She kept her voice calm with an effort.
It was bad enough that Daniel had been here to witness a man who was under the meidung come to visit with her. She wouldn’t compound the trouble by being inside the schoolhouse alone with someone the community had shunned.
What must Daniel be thinking about the Amish schoolteacher who apparently had a male English friend? The thought flitted through her mind, and she shooed it away. She had more serious concerns than what Daniel thought of her.
Johnny lifted his right eyebrow in a familiar movement. His hazel eyes were unchanged, but both his brows and hair were a little darker now than they’d once been.
“It looked as if you’d invited him inside—Daniel, was that his name?”
“Daniel is the parent of three of my scholars. Naturally we talked in the schoolroom. But you have no reason to be there.”
“I spent eight years there. Remember?” His smile teased, the way it had long ago.
“I remember.” She had to fight against the memories, just as she’d been doing all afternoon. “But you’re not the same person you were then. No one looking at you now would imagine you to be Amish.”
“I’m not.” He frowned. “Not anymore.”
The flip answer hurt her. “Can you deny what you’re born so easily?”
“Not easily.” His face became set in sudden, harsh lines, and he looked years older than she knew he was. “But it can be done. You know others who’ve done it and been happy.” His tone challenged her.
Did she? Maybe so. Once they were gone, she didn’t have much opportunity to judge whether they were satisfied with their choice or not.
“If you’re so happy with your decision, why are you here now?”
As soon as the question was out, her heart began to beat in hard, measured thuds, pounding against her ribcage. What if he said he was here because of her? How would she answer that?
“I’m not here to kneel in repentance and ask the church to take me back, if that’s what you’re thinking.” His jaw hardened. “Look, at least we can sit down and talk like civilized people, can’t we?”
He even talked differently now, using phrases she’d never heard from his lips, speaking in a cadence that was so quick it could never be Amish. He clearly wouldn’t go away until she’d heard him out.
“Fine.” She sat down on the top step of the porch, smoothing her long skirt over her legs. “Talk, if you want.”
If he wasn’t here to repent, then he hadn’t come with any idea of reuniting with his lost love. That should make it easier to deal with him.
She didn’t want that relationship anyway, she assured herself. She’d been over her feelings for Johnny a long time now.
One thing hadn’t changed about him, she noticed. He still wore that mulish expression when he was balked in what he wanted to do. He stood for a moment, frowning at her, and then he sat down next to her on the step, stretching out long, jeans-clad legs.
“So, John Kile, why are you back in Pleasant Valley, if not to rejoin the brethren?” She was satisfied that she sounded perfectly composed.
“Have you seen Rachel lately? Are you and she still close?”
He jumped from thought to thought like a June bug. That hadn’t changed in his years away.
“I saw her today.” She hesitated. Say the rest of it? Maybe she should. “She mentioned you, feeling a little sad because of your birthdays next week.”
She certainly wouldn’t mention Rachel’s concern that Leah was still single because of him.
“I’m sorry.” He clenched the knees of his jeans, muscles standing out on the backs of his hands. “I never meant to hurt her.”
She could only gape at him. “Never meant to hurt her? Your leaving hurt everyone in the community.” Especially her. “Maybe you’ve forgotten that in all the time you’ve been gone.”
“No, I haven’t forgotten. Anything.” His voice softened. “Not you, Leah.”
She laced her fingers together in her lap. It was best, safest, not to respond to that, but the words echoed in her heart. “Are you going to see Rachel?”
“I want to.” He leaned toward her, his eyes darkening in intensity. “Please, you talk to her for me, Leah. Tell her I’m here, that I want to see her.”
“Me?” Her throat clutched. “I can’t do that.”
“You two were always like sisters.” His voice went low and coaxing. “She’ll listen to you.”
Did he have any idea how hurtful it was to remind her that she and Rachel had nearly
been
sisters? It seemed he didn’t. Or if he did, he could ignore it in his need to accomplish his goal.
“She’s your twin, Johnny. If you want to see her again, then—”
“I’m scared.”
The words sent her gaze flying to his face. He gave her a rueful smile.
“Stupid, isn’t it? But I’m afraid to walk up to my own sister.”
She tried to harden her heart against that smile. Johnny wasn’t her responsibility any longer. “I think you’d better. Or else just go away again.”
“I can’t go away. I’m going to be working here for the next six months, at least. I’m doing research at the medical clinic over in Fostertown.”
She could only stare at him. “You are?”
“Hard to believe, isn’t it? I just finished a degree in genetics, and I’m going to assist Dr. Brandenmyer in his work. You know about him?” He slanted a questioning look at her.
“Ja, I know.”
Everyone in the community knew about the clinic and the doctor. Geneticists wanted to study the Amish because of the hereditary diseases that occurred too often in a community where most folks were descended from the same small group of ancestors.
Dr. Brandenmyer did gut work, so people said, ministering to those who were ill, in addition to conducting his research. That was not always an easy thing in a society as closed as the Amish were.
“Working with him is the opportunity of a lifetime.” Johnny stared past her, as if looking at some future she couldn’t see.
“Is your background why the doctor hired you? Because you were Amish once?”
Johnny frowned. “I have very good qualifications. But I suppose my heritage didn’t hurt.”
“And you want to get back in touch with your family for what?”
She was feeling her way. Once, she’d have said that she knew every thought that went through Johnny’s mind. Now she feared that what she said to him might determine whether he saw his family or not.
Please, Father. Guide me. I don’t know what is best to do or say.
“I want to see them because they’re my family.” His tone was sharp, but then he smiled, shaking his head. “But it’s true. I need to find a way to make contact with the community again if I’m going to be much help to Dr. Brandenmyer. And it’s worthwhile work—you must know that. It can save lives.”
Children’s lives. She thought of the children she’d known throughout the community—the ones afflicted with Crigler-Najjar syndrome, spending half their lives under the special blue lights that helped them survive to grow up. Or those with the other genetic diseases that were too common among the Amish.
She didn’t want to be involved, didn’t want to risk the hurt that would come with his return.
But if what Johnny talked about could help those children, wasn’t it worth at least trying to smooth his path? She couldn’t easily turn away from something that might help them.
Her throat tightened, and she had to push out the words. “All right. I’ll talk to Rachel. I make no promises. But I’ll tell her that you’re back and that you want to see her.”
Johnny grasped her hand in a quick, warm grip before she sensed what he was about to do. “Thank you, Leah. You’re a good friend.”
She pulled her hand free, denying the pleasure she felt at his touch, his words.
“I’m making no promises,” she said again. She’d made promises to Johnny once, and that had come to nothing.
“Good enough.” He stood, as if afraid she’d change her mind if he delayed. “I’ll stop by tomorrow after school to see what she said.”
“Not tomorrow.” He’d turned into a typical Englischer, always in a hurry. “Maybe on Wednesday. I’ll have been able to talk to Rachel by then.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue, but then he nodded, his lips curving into the smile that was still familiar.
“All right. Take your time. I’ll see you Wednesday.”
He’d gotten what he’d come for, so he moved away quickly, sliding into the car without a backward glance toward her.
She rose, standing on the top step. Watching until the red car disappeared around the bend in the lane.
Johnny Kile was back. She didn’t think she’d quite accepted it yet.
He wasn’t the boy she’d loved, that was certain sure. But who he was now—she didn’t quite know. Or how it would affect her, affect all of them, having him here.