Authors: Heidi Hutchinson
Additional things
had changed since that night. The dynamic had shifted between Lenny
and Carl. She was going to have to get a lot closer to the guys to
prevent what had happened in Virginia. That meant distancing herself
from Carl a little more and staying nights on the band's respective
buses.
He appeared to
understand her point of view and respected it. He had asked her to
walk a fine line and he seemed satisfied with how the situation was
evolving. He gave the guys a little more space, and only really saw
Lenny when she brought him coffee in the mornings.
They were coming up
on another day off and the anticipation was palpable. The crew was
looking forward to blowing off some steam, but the band wasn’t
sure what they were going to do yet. Blake’s foray into
bar-top stripper had made them a little more wary of letting loose.
“
Maybe
we should just practice,” Mike suggested from his seat in the
corner.
They were all riding
in the Red Bus as the convoy traveled to their next venue. Lenny had
been surprised at how much time they actually spent together. It was
a lot. She had always assumed that bands got on each other's nerves
and needed their space. Or maybe that was just girls in high school.
“
That’s
a pretty good idea, actually,” Luke concurred with his friend.
Sway and Blake
groaned in unison. Harrison had no response except the occasional
grunt as he decapitated a zombie.
“
I
hate this game,” Lenny said under her breath from beside him.
“
Lenny,
you said you had ideas for how we could demonstrate our manhood,”
Blake stated flatly. The guys chuckled and Lenny turned a wary eye
over her shoulder.
“
Yeah…”
she said noncommittally.
“
What
can we do tomorrow to be men?” Blake folded his hands in his
lap.
Lenny smiled at his
phrasing and bit her lip. “I’m glad you asked, actually.
I already set something up for us tomorrow.” She turned
around as her avatar died and Harrison let out a whimper.
“
All
of us?” Blake asked, one black eyebrow raised.
“
Yep.
Should be fun. And dangerous enough to keep you out of trouble.”
Lenny stood up and stretched her cramped legs. Harrison needed a
new hobby, this was going to wreck her knees.
The guys tried to
persuade her to reveal her idea but she remained tight lipped.
“
I’ve
already cleared it with Carl-”
“
You
clear everything with Carl,” Sway grumbled. “That guy is
sooo boring.”
“
He’s
not that bad,” Lenny defended, “He has a job to do and I
respect that, you should too.” She chuckled as Sway rolled his
eyes at her. “You know, you guys aren’t always puppy
dogs and ice cream either.”
“
I’m
actually hurt that you would say that,” Mike remarked as she
plopped down on the sofa next to him and he threw an arm across her
shoulders. “I strive to always act as puppy-like as possible.”
She laughed and
shoved his leg. “Ha ha ha,” she said sarcastically but
her smile was genuine.
“
C’mon,
just tell us what the big plan is.” Harrison’s eyes were
round and dark with pretend innocence. His mother must’ve had
a hard time trying to keep him honest, Lenny thought with amusement.
“
Nope,
you’ll just have to trust me.” She crossed her arms over
her chest and leaned back against the couch, signaling the argument
was over.
The guys grumbled a
little while more, a common occurrence as they started to wind down
from their performance. It wasn't too much longer and they crawled
into their bunks one by one until only Luke and Lenny were still
awake. They continued to visit quietly but Lenny was very aware of
the shift in mood after everyone had gone to bed. It had predictably
become more...intimate.
He could make her
palms sweat with a look. Not to mention the fact that whenever they
were alone her body suddenly wanted to fall asleep. It was like it
knew that Luke had dark powers that could cause her body to relax and
finally rest for unspecified amounts of time. It wanted to curl up
against him and lose all connection to reality.
She hated her body.
Traitor.
“
You
should probably get some sleep, too,” she reminded Luke. His
face fell slightly at her sudden subject change and she wished things
didn't have to be so complex between them.
“
What
about you?” He asked with uncertainty.
“
What
do you mean?” Lenny felt her heart rate quicken.
Stop
it! Calm down!
She scolded it internally.
“
You
don't sleep much...do you?” Luke's gentle confrontation left
her without an explanation. She could lie to anyone. Her parents,
her brothers, her friends. But not him. It was way too hard and
required too much cognitive function, which she was somehow lacking
in his presence.
“
Not
quite,” she finally muttered.
“
Why
not?”
It was a simple
question. Lenny wished she had a simple answer. What could she
really say? Sure, they had gotten closer during their morning runs
every day and Lenny considered him a friend. He told her anything
and everything about himself, becoming transparent and real. But
there was still so much he didn't know about her. She could change
that. She could answer his question honestly and open up to him. It
was only fair.
Oh, boy.
“
I
was in an...accident, a few years ago.” Lenny started slow,
her hands beginning to tremble. She hadn't talked about this with
anyone in a very long time. She clasped her hands in her lap and
squeezed them together.
“
What
kind of an accident?” Luke's quiet voice prompted.
Lenny
took a deep breath. This sucked. Where the hell was she supposed to
start? If she told Luke everything then...then what? Then he'd
know
.
“
I
used to snowboard,” she said flatly, the words falling onto the
floor of the bus with a thud. There it was, in the open, her secret.
She raised her eyes to meet his confused expression.
“
Like,
professionally?” Luke sat up straighter in his chair and
leaned forward.
Lenny blew air out
of her mouth. Why did he have to be so interested in her crappy
past? How was she supposed to explain all of this without coming
across like a dick? “Yeah...I was an Olympic contender.”
Shit. Now she sounded arrogant.
Luke's eyebrows
rose, “That sounds like a big deal.”
Lenny
closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Here
comes the headache.
When
did things stop being black and white? Where did all this gray shit
come from?
“
Yeah,”
she declared more forcefully than she intended. She dropped her hand
back to her lap and tried again. “Yeah, it
was
a big deal.” Luke waited patiently for her to proceed and
Lenny fought back the urge to jump out of the moving bus.
“
I
come from a family of athletes. We're all awesome.” Her
sarcastic tone made Luke chuckle and she relaxed a little. “I
started snowboarding when I was a little kid and decided that's what
I wanted to do for...” she shrugged, “Well, forever.”
Lenny paused as the
memories rushed in. The purity of the excitement. The adrenaline
spike of a good run. “My best friend's uncle, Duke, was pro at
the time and he took me under his wing. Taught me everything he
knew. He was wild. He encouraged us to be risky and find our own
lines off the normal, protected ski routes.” She shook her
head, reminiscing. “My parents were totally freaked out. They
wanted me to have regular lessons and train in a more controlled
environment. But that’s the appeal of snowboarding, there are
very few rules. It has a freedom of expression that other sports are
lacking. I got better and started winning competitions. My parents
were upset at first that I wasn't pursuing a more 'traditional' sport
but...” she smiled wistfully, “They eventually got on
board.
“
My
first Olympics, two years ago...almost three now, I thought I was
ready,” her voice cracked and she tried to swallow the ache
away, “I wasn't. I lost control and wrecked.”
“
How
bad?” Luke finally asked after a few minutes of silence had
passed.
“
Oh,
you know, the usual head trauma, broken bones. Stuff like that.”
Lenny saw the distress on Luke's face and she felt stripped, raw.
When he looked at her, he saw her. Crushed spirit and all. And it
terrified her.
“
I'm
fine now. I made a full recovery, completed all my therapy and I'm
clear for launch,” she laughed, trying to brush off the
severity of her injuries, but it was obviously forced.
Luke frowned at her
and cleared his throat, “But you don't sleep.”
“
Ah,”
Lenny waved carelessly “It's just leftover side-effects from
having your body crushed. I sleep a little. But then the muscle
spasms and the anxiety take over and...you know what?” Lenny
cut herself off and shook her head with embarrassment, “It's
not a big deal. It's totally fine.”
“
It's
not fine,” Luke confronted. He suddenly crossed to sit next to
her on the couch. He reached up, brushing the hair over her shoulder
and touched the tense spot behind her neck, “This. This isn't
fine.” His fingers began their magical movements, releasing
the negative energy that seemed to pool in that area. “And you
slept just fine in my arms,” his voice, warm and rough,
reminded very near her ear.
“
I
guess...” Lenny sought an explanation, one she hadn't figured
out yet. “I guess, you make me feel safe.” She thought
she heard Luke sigh but she couldn't be sure. She shouldn't have
said that. She shouldn't have said any of the things she had said to
him tonight. She was losing control of her faculties. This only
happened around him.
“
You
are
safe with me,” Luke gently pulled her into his arms as he
reclined on the sofa. He tucked her body between his and the couch,
keeping her head on his chest. His fingers stayed on the back of her
neck, slowly removing the ache, while his other hand pulled her arm
across him, completing the embrace.
Lenny's body was
flush against his and her heart hammered in her chest. If one of the
guys came back to the main lounge or if Carl caught them...
“
I
don't want you to worry anymore,” Luke broke into her thoughts.
“
I
didn't say anything,” Lenny defended.
“
I
can feel you tensing up again,” he tapped her neck with his
fingertips, “Just relax. This isn't anything more than a
friend helping out another friend.”
Lenny fought the
heaviness in her eyelids. Friends. Is this what it was like to have
friends? She slowly traced the black swirl of ink that started on his
forearm and disappeared under his shirt sleeve. She inhaled his
scent, a mixture of soap and spearmint, and sighed.
She
couldn’t let feelings develop for him. It wouldn’t be
fair to him or her, for that matter. After the tour was over they
would go different ways. She focused on the reason she got this job
in the first place, to get away and start new. He was a rock star,
she was the assistant. At best, they were friends, but it couldn’t
be more than that. Besides, Luke Casey deserved someone better than
a broken girl from nowhere
.
It
was her last thought before she slipped into peaceful
unconsciousness.