Authors: Heidi Hutchinson
Sliding her phone
back into her pocket, she was startled when Mike sat down next to
her.
“
You
shouldn’t be out here,” she jested, “Someone might
recognize you.”
Mike made a “humph”
noise.
They sat quietly
together for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the city below
them. Lenny leaned back on her arms and kicked her feet out in front
of her.
“
I
have a confession.” Mike looked down at his feet and stirred
some loose gravel around with his shoe.
Lenny frowned and
looked over at him but didn't say anything.
“
I
overheard your conversation with Luke last night.”
Lenny wrinkled her
nose in response.
“
And
I know that you and Luke,” he cleared his throat, “slept
together on the couch.”
“
We
didn't-” Lenny sat up and started to protest.
“
No,
I know,” Mike stopped her. “You actually
slept,
not the other thing.”
Lenny swallowed and
waited for him to continue.
“
I
just wanted you to know that I haven't told anyone. I know how weird
Carl gets about our personal relationships and he doesn't need to
know about this.”
“
Well,
it won't happen again so...” Lenny wasn't sure what to say.
Embarrassment was beginning to color her cheeks.
“
That's
crazy, Lenny.” Mike finally looked up from the ground and she
was surprised at his serious continence. “You work too fricken'
hard to have to go without fricken' sleep. If Luke makes you feel
like you can relax then I think you should take advantage of it.”
“
Mike,
that's not exactly...professional.” Lenny felt a burning begin
in the back of her eyes.
Mike rolled his
eyes. “Would you let it go for a minute? I'm serious about
this.” His voice held an edge that she had never heard him use
before. “I know what it's like to run away from something you
love because of...mistakes.” He licked his bottom lip, looked
back at the ground and then back to Lenny. “Luke's more than a
friend to me. He's a brother. He aided in my recovery like no one
else. If he can help you get through this last little bit of
disrepair, then let him do it.”
“
I
just don't...” Lenny's throat was dry and her head spun.
“
I
know, you're embarrassed. You don't want to need help. You think
you can figure this out on your own.”
Lenny's stomach
twisted at Mike's words. When he said out loud what she was thinking
internally, it sounded selfish. And weak.
“
I
enjoy the whole 'Girl Power' thing as much as any dude but you have
to be able to admit when you've taken it too far.”
A large tear
splashed onto Lenny's cheek as Mike continued.
“
Sleep
is so important. I can't stress that enough. If Luke can help you
regain that part of your physiology then let him. I have a pretty
solid theory that once you get back in the habit of sleeping
regularly, you'll be able to face the rest of your recovery.”
“
But,
I've recovered completely,” Lenny argued meekly.
“
Sure,
physically,” Mike nodded and reached towards her, touching her
temple softly. “What about all the stuff still happening up
here?”
Lenny's vision
blurred with tears. Her heart thudded in her ribcage as her head
spun, trying to figure out where all of Mike's insight had come from
and how she had become so transparent. Did she really appear to be
this weepy, broken girl, lost and needing help from strangers?
“
Hey.”
Mike's voice had lost its confrontation and his hand gently pulled
her face up so he could look her in the eye. “No one knows.
And no one has to know unless you tell them.” He studied her
face for a moment. “The only reason I overheard the whole
thing is because figuring you out has become...an obsession for me.”
He chuckled at his own words. “But after hearing the truth,
it felt wrong for me to know without you giving me the permission to
hold that knowledge...you know?”
Lenny nodded but
didn't reply. Mike's hand dropped from her chin back to his lap.
His eyes tugged down on the sides, making him look older than usual.
“
You're
a part of the band now, Lenny. Whatever happens from here on out,
you need to know that we consider you the sixth member. And you're
safe with us. All of us.”
Tears began to
collect in Lenny's eyelashes and she reached up to rub them off her
face. Mike had brought out a tangle of emotions in her and she was
ashamed at her reaction. She had no words for a reply. Just more
tears. She wiped at them angrily.
Mike put his arm
around her shoulders and she leaned into him. “Listen, kid. I
get it, I really do.” He paused and rubbed her arm tenderly.
“But you have to go back someday. You can’t give up your
passions just because of a bad decision. Believe me, what do you
think this tour is all about?”
“
But
I’m not like you, Mike,” she softly reminded. “You’re
awesome and I’m…not.”
Mike chuckled at her
reasoning. “We’re a lot more alike than you would think.
You’re basically the chick version of me.”
Lenny sniffed away
her tears and laughed. She sat up straight as the pizza delivery guy
pulled up at that moment and Lenny paid for the food. As she and
Mike walked back to the buses Lenny asked, “What happens now?”
“
Now?
Whatever you want, mama. We’ll follow your lead, just like
always.” He winked and Lenny felt relieved.
Now
Mike
and
Luke knew. And it didn't seem so terrible anymore.
Luke. Every feeling
she had in regards to him caused conflict inside. She wanted to be
next to him all the time and yet she wanted to run away as fast as
possible. He could make her feel completely safe and completely
exposed simultaneously.
As if Mike were
reading her thoughts he said, “Luke just wants to help you, you
mean a lot to all of us. Try not to freak out about it.” She
looked over at Mike with a stunned expression and he chuckled at her.
Lenny considered his
words for a moment, “You guys really are best friends, aren’t
you?”
Mike nodded, “I’d
do anything for him. He saved my life. He’s the only reason
I’m back on the road again.” Mike sucked air in through
his nose and frowned, adding weight to his final words. “He
doesn’t give up on the people he loves. I owe him more than I
can ever repay.”
Luke's breathing was
labored. His body hummed with adrenaline and he bent down hard
against the guitar strings. Sweat poured off his face and his
longish bangs stuck to his forehead. He stilled his mouth behind the
microphone and looked out over the throbbing mass of people; his arm
hovered over the overworked instrument. He felt a mischievous grin
spread across his face as the audience screamed for him to continue.
He heard the pulse of Mike on the kick drum behind him. Sway had his
back turned to the crowd and he waited for Luke's signal. Harrison
stood at rapt attention, a smile beaming across his expressive face
as he surveyed the arena. Blake stood solemnly in his zone, guitar
half-cocked, a statue of rock and roll.
Luke laughed into the microphone and the crowd screamed
louder.
“
What?” He asked them,
knowing the reply. “Oh, you want us to keep going?”
The reaction was physical, and the energy coming off the
crowd pushed against him. He loved this moment. Holding the crowd on
the precipice of complete rock and roll ecstasy.
Luke nodded once to Sway and the band exploded in a
flourish of lights, smoke, and sound. The crowd erupted with them,
filling the stadium with even more madness than a few minutes before.
Luke rode the high all way till the end of the show. He
was still buzzing as he bounded up the steps of the bus. He flopped
on the sofa as Mike threw him a bottle of water.
“
There's never enough.”
He said to no one in particular.
“
Never enough what?”
Lenny settled next to him, handing him a towel to wipe off his sweaty
face. Luke smiled up at the ceiling. How did she do that? Make him
relax in an instant?
“
Never enough time. Or music.
Or voice.” He took a long drink of the water and sighed. “I
want to do this everyday for the rest of my life.”
“
You and me both,” Mike
agreed and Luke reached his hand in the air to fist-bump his drummer.
Luke rolled his head to the side and took in Lenny's
fresh appearance. She was in some old jeans and a too big t-shirt,
her bare feet tucked up underneath her in the corner of the couch.
He squinted to get a better look, yep, she was wearing eyeliner
tonight. That was new. Made her eyes look even bluer, if that were
possible. Her cheeks were flushed a healthy pink and Luke couldn't
resist grinning openly at her. She gave a half-smile and looked
away. He knew he was staring but he didn't care. She was too damn
pretty to not look at.
Lenny had let him hold her again last night while she
slept. On the couch again, but he didn't mind. He'd take what he
could get.
Two consecutive nights of decent sleep and her
complexion had brightened noticeably. Not only that, but her smiles
came easier. And Luke loved to see that smile.
“
Is
that my shirt?” He gestured to the blue tee that was clearly
too big for her.
Lenny scrunched up her nose. “Ha, probably. I
used to jack my brother's clothes all the time. I haven't had time to
wash anything and I didn't feel like being a dirty girl today.”
She picked at the hem. “I just grabbed one from the back. I
hope that's okay.”
“
It's
fine.” It was more than fine, he loved that she was feeling
comfortable around them enough to borrow their clothes. And the
fact that she had chosen his shirt, whether on purpose or not, gave
him a small thrill.
He tore his gaze from her and righted himself. If he
didn't purpose to move on to the next task he'd stare at her all
night.
He retrieved his old acoustic guitar from his bunk, the
one he'd had since he was in middle school, and took a seat in a
chair facing Lenny. He began to explain the construction and shape of
it, trying to be more conversational that clinical. He told her
about the history of the instrument and what had first inspired him
to play.
“
But
I read in
Rolling
Stone
that you learned how to play guitar to pick up chicks.” Lenny
raised an eyebrow. What a tease.
Mike let out a large burst of laughter, “That's
right! I remember when you said that!”
Luke
frowned at the two of them. “Of course that's what I told
Rolling
Stone
...they're
freaking
Rolling
Stone Magazine
.”
He shook his head as if to disapprove of their misunderstanding.
Lenny's sudden giggle was unexpected and she tried to
cover her mouth with her hand when they both looked at her with
lifted eyebrows. Luke couldn't help but notice the flush on her
cheeks and the nervous way she bit her bottom lip when she looked at
him.
Luke gave her a wink and continued on with his lesson.
He explained chords, notes and calluses while the overhead lights
bounced tiny reflections off the guitar and the mirrored ceiling.
Mike, for his part, taught Lenny the basics of keeping a
beat. He gave her a set of drumsticks and demonstrated how to use
her legs to smack out a rhythm. She picked it up quickly and soon
they were having an impromptu jam session.
As Luke watched Mike and Lenny try to trip each other up
he was filled with more appreciation for his drummer than before.
Lenny was laughing easily and openly at this point and Luke knew it
was due to the cozy atmosphere in the bus. And Mike was responsible
for a lot of that.