Authors: Heidi Hutchinson
“
No,
he doesn’t,” Lenny scoffed.
“
Yes,
he does…and try to come home for Christmas. We miss you, too,”
Scott hugged her again before getting in the car with their father.
Mike put his arm
around Lenny and pulled her towards the hotel, “Feel better,
darlin'?”
Lenny only nodded.
She really did. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to bringing
them to the X-Games, she still had a lot of thoughts and issues to
work through before they got there. But as she looked at her
unconventional surrogate family she felt better knowing she wasn’t
going alone.
Hopefully she'd find
the strength to face her demons before then.
Luke stood outside
Lenny's room, his hand poised to knock. He just wanted to see her.
She had looked great at dinner. Beautiful, but...sad. He felt the
pull to her from the lobby and didn't resist it. He knew she would
be alone. He knew she needed him.
He knew this could
all blow up in his face.
He looked down at
the guitar case in his hand and blew all the air out of his lungs as
he knocked on the door. They finally had a break from the long,
dragging hours on the bus and all he wanted was to be in the same
room with her. Since Ashton had shown up, he'd felt like he hardly
seen Lenny. He missed her.
“
Hey,”
Luke didn't have more than that for a greeting. Lenny leaned against
the door frame before smiling and standing aside to signal his
entrance. She had changed out of her dress and her face was washed
clean of makeup. Hair piled loosely on top of her head, she was in
sweatpants and a white tank with a band hoodie half-zipped over the
top. She was breathtaking.
“
Didn't
you go with the guys?” She asked as she closed the door behind
him and then crossed the room and folded herself into an overstuffed
navy chair.
“
No,
I wanted to see you.” He sat opposite her on the couch and
tried to look as relaxed as possible, placing the guitar case down on
the floor next to him.
Lenny was more
subdued that usual. She sat quietly, not responding to his
statement. Her pensive gaze was fixed on the sleeves of her jacket
and her vulnerability was conspicuous.
“
Big
night.” Luke hated how his voice sounded harsh in the quiet of
the suite.
“
Yeah,”
Lenny gave him a small smile and he saw that her attention had left
her shirt sleeves and she was now watching him quietly. Her
countenance hinting at the softness he knew lay inside her, buried
deep for safekeeping.
“
So,
what happens with Ashton now?” He asked, not wanting to talk
about his ex but needing somewhere to start.
“
She'll
have to pay me some money and she'll probably stay away for a while.”
Lenny answered with a half-smile on her face. Luke adored her
half-smile.
“
What
about this thing with your sponsors? How you feeling about that?”
Luke didn't miss the flicker of fear flash across her face; it was
very uncharacteristic of her.
“
Um,”
she looked back to her lap, “it'll be weird, but I can't lose
the Lodge. So...” Her voice trailed off and Luke didn't miss
the fact that she wouldn't look at him when she answered.
“
Your
brother is a beast.” Luke tried to bring the conversation
somewhere lighter. He needed her to be comfortable if he was going
to go through with his original intention of seeing her.
“
Yeah,
he has that effect on people,” Lenny laughed a little then and
eased back in her chair.
“
And
your dad seems pretty cool, too,” Luke added, trying to get a
decent conversation flowing. He'd never been good with small talk.
“
I
probably give my family a harder time than they deserve.” Her
demeanor was shifting, ever so slightly back to confidence. The
strange awkwardness that had been present a moment ago was
dissipating and Luke internally high-fived himself.
“
I'm
sorry I'm so weird about the snowboarding thing,” Lenny
suddenly blurted out. “I haven't dealt with it very well, or at
all, actually.” She looked up at him sheepishly, “I
don't handle failure gracefully, if you hadn't noticed.”
Luke
chuckled and leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, “You
think
we
deal well with failure? I'm pretty sure that's just part of being
human.”
He
began to point to his fingers one at a time, “Let me give you
some of my favorite examples of how well we dealt with the failure of
our last tour. Mike: started his own carpet laying business after he
was clean and then refused to speak to me. Sway: got married to a
stripper in Vegas and divorced within the week,
twice.
Harrison:
tried to become a carpenter with disastrous, and might I add
expensive, results. Blake: tried his hand at the culinary arts but
mostly he gained twenty-five pounds. It wasn't pretty.”
Lenny snickered at
his examples, “What about you?” she asked, “What
did you do?”
“
You’ve
met my ex, right? Tall, brown hair, answers to Satan?” Luke
rolled his eyes at himself, “Yeah, I bought her a house.”
“
Whoa!
I didn’t know that! No wonder she had a hard time moving on,
you were her sugar daddy.” Lenny teased, trying to stifle her
laughter.
“
As
you can see, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about,”
Luke reassured her.
“
Did
you love her?” Lenny asked, unexpectedly serious.
Luke was taken
aback, he had never thought about it. He shook his head, “No,
I just hated being alone and she seemed to really like me. Not my
proudest moment.” He paused as he thought about it, “I
didn't even like her back then. I think I bought her the house
because I was hoping she would stay there, and away from me.
“
What
about you?” He turned the question around, “Have you ever
dated someone you couldn’t stand?”
A mixture of
confusion and hurt swept across her face and Luke knew he'd touched a
nerve. Her brows drew together and she licked her lips before
answering.
“
I
really only ever had one boyfriend. I liked him a lot.” Her
voice grew quiet, “I never got to know him enough to find out
if I could love him.”
“
What
happened?” Luke tried to sound mellow. But he wasn't. The
idea of another man in Lenny's life had him feeling on edge
instantaneously.
“
We
broke up after the accident.” Lenny was being dodgy and he
could tell there was more she wasn't saying.
“
That
was kind of a dick move.” Luke defended her. How could
someone let a girl like this get away? Whoever it was, was an idiot.
“
It
wasn’t...I'm the one who ended it. I broke up with him,”
her voice was strained and she was avoiding his eyes again.
“
He
should’ve fought for you,” Luke argued. Her words
weren't matching her demeanor and Luke was suddenly very angry at the
guy who had obviously put a fracture in her heart.
“
That's
not really...” Lenny shook her head and closed her eyes, “It
wasn't meant to be, that's all.”
After an
uncomfortable pause Luke spoke again, needing to drive his point
home,
“
I
would’ve fought for you.”
When Lenny looked at
him, his heart about stopped in his chest. Her eyes were watery and
her lips were parted, as if to say something into the silence. But
nothing came. Her eyes sought an explanation, one she couldn't
outright ask and Luke knew this was the moment.
Very few times in
Luke's life did he know exactly what step he was supposed to take.
He usually guessed wrong and had to go back and try again. His past
was filled with apologies, misunderstandings and broken fences that
no one could mend. Not this time. Not with this moment.
He unpacked his
guitar and set it on his lap, his hands beginning to tremble. He
grit his teeth. He needed to do this. It would be worse not to. He
ached to hold her, to kiss her, to make her feel what he felt. He
needed to have some sort of absolution to the dance they were in. He
couldn't possibly be the only one feeling overpowered by his own
heartbeat.
“
Lenny,
I haven't done the best job at showing you or telling you what you
mean to me,” he cleared his throat, “But I communicate
better through music so...” He took a cleansing breath before
he brought the pick to meet the strings in his chosen method of
confession.
“
You're
not pushing but I'm falling
you're soaring and I'm stalling
and it's not a secret
that my strength is your weakness
the beauty you have inside
shines out through your eyes
you wear your heart on your sleeve
your wings flutter and you leave
and when you fly
can I be your blue sky
when your heart beats alone
let my arms be your home
if I say it first
will you say it second
if I give you this verse
will you feel protected
I need you
could you need me
too...”
He waited for what
felt like too many breaths before he sought her eyes. Did she
understand the enormity of what his soul had admitted? Did she know
that this wasn't some elaborate attempt to get in her pants but that
he meant every freaking word?
“
I
do need you.” Her voice came out rough and Luke stared at her
mouth, wanting her to say it again. She licked her bottom lip and
took a shaky breath.
For the all the
daydreaming that Luke had done about her and exactly how he would
kiss her for the first time, he was suddenly very nervous. The first
kiss with her could very well be the most important of his life.
Luke put the guitar
down and crossed the small space between them. He pulled Lenny to
her feet and grabbed her around her waist with one arm, pressing her
against him. With his other hand he cupped her neck and angled her
face upwards. He looked from her eyes to her lips, hesitating for a
fraction of a second. She didn't pull away. She didn't protest.
His mouth came down against hers, feeling the firm softness of her
lips as they returned his kiss. He thought that the taste of her
would finally quench his desire, but it only fed his hunger for more.
He had planned on
kissing her slowly, taking his time, making it last. But when the
moment came, he lost control. He lost himself in her.
He felt her hands
fist into his t-shirt, pulling him closer. His heart raced as he
realized his eagerness was being reciprocated. The intensity of their
kiss grew as their weeks of self-restraint were suddenly released in
that one moment. Her hands worked their way into his hair and Luke
let out a groan.
They were yanked
back into reality by the sudden knock at the door. They jumped apart
as if they'd been shocked.
Luke took a deep
breath to steady himself. Lenny straightened her clothes and made
her way to the door, checking the peep hole. She took one more
calming breath before opening it.
“
There
you are,” Carl smiled at Luke, “The guys wanna know if
you want to join us for a game of poker in Blake’s room?”
He looked back and forth between Lenny and Luke, frowning. “You
guys weren’t fighting, were you?” He asked, misreading
the tension.
Lenny smiled, “No,
just talking. I’m actually pretty tired so I’m going to
get some sleep. But you should go, Luke, win some money back from
Blake.”
Luke tried to read
her face but she was as unreadable as ever. He nodded as he thought
about it, “Yeah, I’ll be right down.”