Learning to Live Again (6 page)

Rachel was practically humming with excitement as she descended the stairs. Sleep had been hard to come by, even after a day of skiing and the emotional mess of what happened with Austin. She was tired, but the planned activities for the day were enough to keep her going.

Austin sat at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee and smiled widely as soon as he saw Rachel. “Did you want some coffee before we go?”
he asked as Rachel set her small bag down and pulled up a seat.

“That sounds great.” She watched as Austin poured her a cup and handed it to her. “Thank you.” Rachel groaned as the aroma of the strong coffee filled her senses. Neither of them tried to speak
. They just sat quietly and enjoyed the coffee and the company. The other couples had left for the day to spend some time in the village, so the condo remained quiet.

“Ready?” Rachel placed both of their cups in the sink and waited for Austin to grab his things. She waited as
he locked the door and then together they began to walk toward the village.

“Still not telling me what we are doing?” Austin asked with a slight smile.

“You’ll see in just a few minutes. It’s not far.” Rachel smiled. The morning was clear and crisp. The air filled her lungs and seemed to take away all of the stress and apprehension she had felt since yesterday.

Rachel led the way up a cobblestone walkway and through large wooden double doors, grinning the moment she saw Austin figure it out.

“When was the last time you had a spa day, Austin?” Rachel giggled at this expression.

“Umm, never.” Austin grinned back. “Did you set all
this up yesterday?” Rachel nodded. “Even after I was such an ass?” Austin confirmed.

“Rachel didn’t acknowledge his comment. She reached out and took his hand as they approached the front reception area. After checking in, they were led to a women’s lounge and a m
en’s lounge. They were both given large fluffy robes and instructed to put on their bathing suits under them and meet each other in the adjoining couple’s lounge.

Rachel slipped into her suit and robe and headed out to meet Austin. The lounge had a small bar with several types of carafes filled with water. Some had lemon, some had mint
, and one had cucumbers. The décor was warm and inviting with deep woods and soft chairs throughout. There was a huge fireplace that burned hot in the corner of the room. Rachel poured two glasses of lemon water and took them to the two open seats by the fireplace.

Austin stepped out of the men’s lounge and smile
d when he saw Rachel. He looked adorably handsome in his robe with his spa slippers on his feet. “So, what now?” He grinned as he sat next to her.

Rachel looked around, seeing only one other couple across the room and smiled. They basically had the place to themselves. “We have about five hours worth of treatments coming our way.” She giggled at the shocked look on Austin’s face.

“We have a half-hour before we go for our couple’s massage and revitalizing body wrap.” Rachel bit her lip to try to hold back her laughter. “Do you want to go sit in the hot tub?”

Austin stood up and held out his hand. “Lead the way
,” he instructed.

The spa had several private hot tubs. Rachel and Austin slipped into one, moaning at how great it felt. Rachel’s muscles had been protesting ever since the ski day yesterday.

“Are you sore from skiing?” Austin scooted closer to Rachel, placing his arm behind her head. “Is this okay?”

Rachel leaned back against his arm,
wordlessly answering his question. “I am sore. It has been a while since I had done anything so physical.” Rachel closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of the rolling and bubbling water.

“Rachel, I’m so sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have walked away like I did.” Rachel opened her eyes to find Austin staring intently at her. She turned and placed her small hand along his cheek.

“I’m sorry about your sister, Austin, and I’m sorry you felt like we kept something from you. That wasn’t my intent,” Rachel explained as Austin closed his eyes and leaned into her hand.

“I know.” Austin turned and kissed Rachel’s palm
, taking it into his own. They sat in comfortable silence until the spa concierge came to take them to their massage.

“I hope you don’t mind being in the same room for our treatments
,” Rachel whispered nervously. She hadn’t really thought about it when she booked it, but now it seemed so intimate. She was looking forward to spending the day with Austin like this; she just hoped he felt the same.

Austin grabbed her hand as they walked to the massage suite. “This is perfect. All of it.” He squeezed Rachel’s hand
, and she felt the nervousness fade away.

After some awkward maneuvering and laughing, Austin and Rachel manage to situate themselves on the massage tables without baring their goods to the world. The tables were set up just close enough for them to hold hands.

A woman and man came in and, after briefly introducing themselves, they began to massage and rub the soreness and stress away. They spent the next ninety minutes with their eyes closed, only opening them occasionally to share a contented smile. At the end of the massage, they had to let go of each other to finish the wrap portion.

After Rachel and Austin were buffed
, shined, and wrapped, they were left alone to relax for a bit. Unable to touch, they just turned their heads toward each other.

“Did you lose your hair?” Austin spoke so softly that Rachel almost didn’t hear him.

“Yes. It was devastating at first. I had long, dark hair. It was my best feature.” Rachel tried to shrug, but the wrap made it impossible.

“I disagree. It’s not your best feature, even when it was long.” Austin watched Rachel so intently that she felt utterly exposed. “You have a kind heart and a strength that is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. What you have been through would break most people, but you seem unfazed.” 

“Not unfazed, Austin. I had a rough time like anyone who goes through something like this. Just when I thought I couldn’t do it, I realized I could. I could, because I had to—because there was no other choice. Cancer didn’t stop me from being me; it just helped me find what really matters—what is really important. I want to open my mind, try new things. Take chances I never thought I could. I am strong because I was weak, I am beautiful because I
own
my flaws, and I can laugh now because I’ve known true sadness. Don’t ever be afraid to live, Austin.” Rachel wanted so badly to wrap Austin in her arms at that moment. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and she knew he was hurting.

As if the masseurs sensed it, they returned and finished the wrap. Soon they were led to the steam room to spend a bit of time before their light lunch. Austin and Rachel hung up their robes outside of the steam room and stepped into the fog-filled room. They made their way to the bench seat in the corner
, and before Austin could sit down, Rachel threw her arms around him.

“I’m sorry this brings back hurtful memories for you
,” Rachel mumbled into Austin’s chest.

Austin stepped back and tilted Rachel’s face up to meet his eyes. They were so close she could see the raw emotion even through the steam. “This all is actually bringing some things into perspective for me. Seeing you, the way you love life, even after all the suffering has helped me realize that Angie would hate the way I am holding on to the pain.” Austin leaned his forehead against Rachel’s. “Thank you. Not just for today, but for giving me the chance to spend time with you, and for helping me live a little bit more each day.”

Rachel stood up on her tippy toes and placed a kiss to Austin’s lips. “Thank
you
.”

Austin straightened out his tie and looked at himself in the mirror one final time before heading to the great room. The first thing he noticed was the three couples sitting together and laughing. Talia sat on Tom’s lap as he whispered softly into her ear. Austin smiled when he saw his cousin tilt her head back and place a kiss on her husband’s lips.

Nick was telling a story to Trevor as Chelsea rolled her eyes at Ava, but the way she ran her hand through the back of his hair and the tight hold Nick had on Chelsea’s waist showed that they couldn’t be more in love.

Trevor sat with his hand on Ava’s leg, protectively. Ava leaned against him and sighed, seeming very satisfied.

There was so much love in this room alone, and Austin felt privileged to be a part of it. Rachel walked up to him and placed her small hand around his waist. Austin looked down at the beautiful dark-haired beauty
who stood next to him with her rosy cheeks and life-altering smile. He had never felt so complete. It scared him and excited him at the same time. “You look gorgeous,” he whispered before leaning down to steal a kiss.

He and Rachel had been inseparable the last couple of days. The spa day they spent together had been a turning point for them. They
talked and laughed and even slept in the same bed together, although their relationship had not crossed those physical lines yet. It was the first time Austin was just content to hold someone. Rachel did that to him. It didn’t matter that they weren’t having sex.

“Are we ready?” Rachel asked the group. Everyone stood and made their way to the doors, shuffling into their coats. The gang was planning on spending New Year
’s Eve at a local club, something this Philly group loved to do.

The walk to the club was brisk
, and the excitement of the coming year could almost be felt. A lot had happened in just a little over a week, and Austin couldn’t wait to see where this next year took him.

The club was hopping by the time they got there. Austin and Trevor secured
some seats, while Nick and Tom went and got the drinks. It didn’t take long for the girls to find the dance floor and start their moves, tossing their hair around and smiling.

“How are you doing, Austin?” Trevor asked as Austin watched Rachel dance and laugh.

“I’m good … real good.” Austin grinned, and Trevor shook his head.

“You know,
it’s almost time to go home.” Trevor watched Austin closely.

“I know
,” Austin replied.

“What then?” Trevor followed Austin’s eyes to where his sister was dancing.

“I don’t know yet. I need to figure some things out, but I can assure you this is not over. Not by a long shot,” Austin confirmed and Trevor nodded, obviously satisfied by his answer.

Nick and
Tom approached with the drinks and headed straight to the dance floor to claim their women. Ava came up, fanning herself. “Wow, it’s hot.” Trevor pulled her down onto his lap. “You’re hot, Mrs. Dawson.” Trevor growled and kissed Ava.

Austin took that as his queue to leave and went out to the dance floor to claim his own little woman. He moved up behind Rachel and pulled her gently back against his chest. “I could watch you dance all night
,” Austin whispered into her ear, causing her to shiver in his arms.

Rachel turned around and faced him. “I was hoping you’d join me.” She moved closer, pressing herself up against him and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Austin asked, confused by her sudden mood change.

Rachel patted his hip
where she had just been pressing. “Where’s your phone?”

Austin winked. “I haven’t had it on me for days.” He laughed at Rachel’s surprise and then leaned down to kiss her full force on the lips.

“Keep kissing me like that Mr. Montgomery and we will have to make our way home before midnight.” Rachel giggled.

“I’m good with that.” Austin chuckled.

“Come on; let’s at least have one drink.” Rachel pulled him over to the table where the three couples were talking and laughing.

“This has been the best trip.” Talia leaned into Tom.

“It really has,” Chelsea agreed as Nick pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

Austin looked at Rachel and raised his eyebrows. Rachel nodded and finished her drink. Austin whispered into Talia’s ear,” I’m taking Rachel back. We want a bit of quiet. Let Trevor know she’s okay.” Talia nodded at Austin
, and he and Rachel slipped away.

***

Austin shut the door to the condo and turned toward an almost giddy Rachel. “Well, Miss Dawson … what on Earth should we do now?”

Rachel smile
d at him and walked up the stairs to the loft bedroom. Austin followed without question. When they reached the top of the stairs, Rachel turned and unzipped her dress down the side. Austin couldn’t do anything but stare until he watched the garment fall around her feet, finally springing into action.

Austin pulled Rachel into his arms, kissing her mouth with fiercely intoxicating movements. By the time they separated, Rachel was panting
, and Austin was barely controlling his own breathing. “Are you sure?” he asked, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Very.” Rachel smiled.

It was all the invitation Austin needed. He reached down and lifted Rachel into his arms, carrying her to the bed and laying her down gently. Austin stepped back and unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and onto the floor. Next came his pants, and soon he was standing in front of Rachel with nothing but his boxers on and a sure indication of how much he wanted her.

Rachel lay back
, watching him, as she bit her lip in anticipation. They had cuddled and essentially made out like teenagers over the past few days, but seeing her like this blew all that out of the water, and he couldn’t imagine ever wanting anything as much as he wanted Rachel in that very moment.  

Austin leaned down over her, trying not to put too much weight on
her, as he recaptured her mouth in an all-consuming kiss. Whatever fragment of control he had went right out the window when Rachel pulled him down hard against her.

Hands and legs moved sensually over each other, exploring and touching for the first time. Austin groaned when Rachel reached around him and grabbed a hold of his backside, grinding up
ward. “Holy shit!” Austin gasped before flipping Rachel over so that he lay underneath her now.

Rachel looked down at him, lips swollen from kissing, face heated and flushed. She was exquisite. Austin had never seen anyone so beautiful. She made his heart swell and beat rapidly. “God, woman! I want you so bad.”

“What are you waiting for?” Rachel raised her eyebrows. Austin sat up, reaching around her and unfastening her bra, slowly moving it down her arms and tossing it to the floor. Her skin was flushed and flawless. Her breasts were round, full, and flushed. Austin watched as each breath made her chest rise and fall. Austin cupped each breast in his hands, leaning forward, teasing the hardening nipples with a flick of his tongue.

“Austin!” Rachel tossed her head back and sighed.
He pulled her back down, lifting her slightly as he kissed her so that he could slide her panties down her legs. Rachel ran her hands over Austin’s chest, stopping briefly to circle each nipple before proceeding down to the waist of his boxers.

Austin lifted his hips, allowing Rachel to slip them down his legs where he could kick them off completely. The feel of skin on skin,
writhing against one another sent their mutual need into a frenzy.

“Please, Austin
,” Rachel begged.

Austin rolled Rachel over onto the bed before reaching for his pants, searching for the square package that he had enough sense to put in
his pocket earlier, just in case. Austin lay back down, tearing open the package and rolling the condom down his aching shaft with trembling hands.

Rachel spread her legs, inviting Austin to move between them. He positioned himself at her opening and pressed before guiding himself into her slowly, inch by incredible inch until he was completely buried in her, making
his want become a reality.

Austin’s words were incoherent as Rachel arched her back to take him
deeper. Austin rocked inside her over and over. “I’m not going to last long, Rachel,” Austin groaned, barely holding on. “So good.” He continued to move as Rachel rose up to meet his urgent thrusts.

Rachel cried out his name as uncontrollable, shuddering contractions took over, sending Austin falling over the edge in the longest, hottest release of his life. Several minutes passed as they both tried to catch their breath. Austin finally rolled off Rachel, walked to the bathroom to dispose of the condom
, and returned with a warm washcloth to gently clean her before climbing back into bed and pulling her into his arms.

This was usually the moment when he had the urge to get out of there, and he waited to see if it would happen, but it never came. Austin sighed as he buried his face in Rachel’s neck. “That was incredible
,” he mumbled against her skin.

“Yeah.” Rachel sighed
and ran her fingers through Austin’s hair.

Austin chuckled. “I hope you can’t overdose on smiling
, because if you can, I’m doomed.”

Rachel giggled. “I know, me too.”

Austin pulled her tighter against him. “Thank you, Rachel.”

“For what?” Rachel turned her face so she could look at him.

“For teaching me that you can’t always dwell in the past or look to the future. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment. It takes a strong heart to love, but it takes an even stronger heart to live.” Austin ran his hand over Rachel’s short hair, loving the way it felt.

Rachel leaned up on her elbows and smiled. “Austin?”

“Yeah?”

“
Here’s to a Happy New Year.” Rachel leaned forward and kissed Austin softly before slipping back into his arms.

Austin kissed Rachel’s head. “It already is.”