Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (15 page)

“Alyssa?” I call out, walking closer to the grotto.

“Up here!” Her voice rings out from the gazebo. It is placed at the top of a hill, and I can now see her seated inside, her red bikini top peeking out from above the water. I walk up the cement stairs to greet her.

Her blond hair is pulled up into a messy bun, but she is wearing bright red lipstick to match her bikini. It’s actually a turn-off. I don’t want to have to worry about the mess that stuff is going to leave.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she purrs from her position inside the hot tub. I feign a smile.

“You coming in?” I nod, and then begin unbuckling my jeans, removing my shoes and socks. I pull my t-shirt over my head, and all I am left in is my boxer-briefs. Her eyes trail up and down my body hungrily. She tilts her head to the side playfully.

I climb into the scorching hot water, and sit back against the white acrylic.

“So, I was surprised to hear from you.” She bats her eyes at me. I’m sure that makes other guys crazy…me, not so much. I just start to wonder if she has something stuck in her eye.

“Oh yeah?” I scoot a little closer to her. “And why is that?”

“Oh, you know, you’re Sophia’s ex…so you’re off limits. And…I’ve been hearing some rumors that you’ve been hanging out with that disgusting
freak
, Ciera. Although, I figure you’ve just been doing your due diligence.”

My eyes narrow. I don’t give a shit what she says about Sophia, but Ciera doesn’t deserve that. I quickly grab Alyssa by the wrists and wrench her into me. “I could give two shits about Sophia.”

She looks surprised by my roughness. I lean in closer so she can feel my breath on her face.

“I heard what you did to Ciera.”

She throws her head back, cackling. “Oh my God, she deserved it!”

My glare intensifies until she has stopped laughing entirely. My grip on her wrists has tightened, and now her expression is slowly changing into fear. “You’re going to leave Ciera alone from now on, do you hear me?”

Alyssa’s eyes widen. “Oh my God…the rumors are true. I can’t believe it.”

I push her back up against the acrylic roughly, pressing my body into hers. “I couldn’t care less what you think, Alyssa.”

She narrows her brown eyes at me. “Then why the hell are you here?”

Because you’re easy and I need a distraction?
I just want her to shut up. So I do the one thing I know will make her do just that. I lower my lips to the base of her neck as my hand goes under the water.

* * *

I couldn’t even get it up. I’ve never been so monumentally disappointed in my dick than in that very moment. Although, there were countless reasons why I couldn’t get aroused. The first being the fact that Alyssa kisses like a fish. I’m talking full on sucking and puckering. I shudder just thinking about it. Secondly, I had barely touched her and she was moaning like I had made her come. I could already tell she would be someone who would fake an orgasm, and I’m so not into that. Especially after being with Sophia, the
queen of fake orgasms. And then to top it off, when I was kissing her, Ciera’s hurt expression from earlier kept popping into my head.

It isn’t her fault she heard what she did, and I made her feel like shit earlier. I want to apologize, but I know she doesn’t have a cellphone. I glance at the clock on mine, and it’s not even ten yet. Maybe I can stop by her apartment for a few moments and apologize? I know I’m not thinking straight, but I’m already halfway there before I can stop myself.

The possibility of her slamming the door in my face is very likely, but I feel like such an ass. I tell her I want to be friends, I invite her over to my house, and then I treat her like shit.
World class friend I am.

My palms are sweaty as I park my car and climb out.
Maybe it’s too late? Maybe I will get her in trouble?
Although these are two very good possibilities, I ignore my inner voice, and take the stairs two at a time. I stand outside her door for a good five minutes before I gain the courage necessary to knock. It is a light knock, one that shouldn’t attract attention from the fellow neighbors. I can hear footsteps inside, and after a few deathly quiet moments, I hear the lock being fumbled with before the door is cracked open. Ciera peeks her head out.

“Topher?” she gasps out in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” I whisper. “I know it’s late, but I’ve been thinking about what a jerk I was, and I knew I couldn’t let it fester overnight.”

She runs her hand through her short blond layers, and then steps out onto the walkway with me, closing the door behind her. She is wearing purple fuzzy pajama bottoms, and a white crew t-shirt. My eyes immediately hone into her chest, and the fact that I can now clearly see she isn’t wearing a bra. Her tits are perky and big, and suddenly, I’m feeling the arousal I was missing from earlier as the blood begins to rush between my legs.

She folds her arms across her chest uncomfortably, and I realize maybe I was staring a bit too hard. I gulp loudly, maneuvering my eyes back to meet hers.

“I’m listening,” she states, her body more closed off than it’s been the past week.

I sigh. “My father’s gay.”

She doesn’t even bat an eye. “Yeah, I kind of gathered that. And your point?”

It doesn’t even seem to faze her. “Well, I just found out recently, and it’s been hard to adjust to.”

She nods. “You know there is nothing wrong with being gay, right?”

I feel like she just kicked me in the balls. “All my life I’ve thought of my father as someone I could look up to. Someone I wanted to be. And now I find out he’s been lying to me all this time.”

She continues to take the wind out of my sails. “Just because someone is gay doesn’t make them any less of a person. You’re acting like this is all about you. I bet you haven’t even bothered to stop and think about how this has affected his life.”

She’s right. It hasn’t even crossed my mind.

“I—I—“ She cuts me off.

“I wasn’t even sure what I overheard today, but I knew it was something you probably didn’t want me witness to. But the way you treated me was completely uncalled for. Sometimes Topher, you aren’t the center of the universe, and you’re going to have to come to terms with that fact. I appreciate the fact that you want to apologize, but after today, it made me realize just why people like us don’t associate with one another. We come from two completely different worlds.”

“Ciera—“ I try again, but she cuts me off once more.

“Maybe if we weren’t so insanely different, we would have a chance at being friends…but we have nothing in common. You come from money, I don’t. You are popular, I’m not. You are afraid of being associated with someone who loves the same sex…I’m not. I just think we should go our separate ways from now on.”

“This feels like a break-up,” I say.

She shrugs. “Hey, at least you didn’t entirely ruin your reputation over the past couple of weeks.”

I try to feign a smile, but have trouble doing even that. “Ciera, I’m sorry.”

She nods. “I know.” She spins to turn around and head back inside, when I throw my arm up to stop her.

“You’re different. People feel uncomfortable when something different comes along. That’s why I bullied you in the past. It doesn’t excuse my actions, but I am hoping that it will help you understand.”

She locks her blue eyes onto mine. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” I choke out.

“For trying to be a better person.”

I reach out my hand, and graze the side of her face. I have no idea what possesses me to do this, but it’s almost instinctual.

Her eyes widen from my action, and I find myself tracing her lips with my eyes. I don’t know what it is about this girl, but there is something about her I can’t quite put my finger on.

I don’t even think twice before I begin leaning in. It’s like my body has a mind of its own. Just as my eyes close I feel a rough slap across my cheek, which sends my eyes flying open. “What the hell?” I cry out in surprise.

“I don’t know what kind of game you are trying to play here, but you can play it with someone else. Goodnight, Topher.” And then she closes the door in my face.

I rub my face where her hand assaulted it. Is it strange to say that I’ve never felt more alive than in this very moment? Ciera Nelson has somehow snaked her way under my skin. It was so subtle I didn’t even notice it was happening…but now, there is no denying it. There is definitely something happening…whether she wants to admit it or not.

I skip my way down the stairs, and back to my car. I should be disappointed. I should be upset that she slapped me. But instead, I feel hopeful. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Ciera Nelson intrigues me, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to know her.

Chapter Sixteen

Ciera

“What exactly are you saying?” my mother asks in a shaky tone.

We’ve been in an exam room for the past half an hour meeting with Dr. Brown.

“I’m saying that Ciera’s anaplastic astrocytoma is growing much too rapidly now. We have the medication readily available and I think it’s time to decide on a date.” His eyes look pained as he spells it out for us.

My mother stifles a sob. Although most of this isn’t new to us, it’s still difficult to process. I guess it never felt real until this very moment. I grab my mother’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

“I’m not ready,” my mother gasps out, tears streaming down her face.

I’m finding it hard to catch my breath. “We knew this day would come. At least this way, we will know exactly how much time we have together.”

She is wringing her hands out in her lap, and I have the impulse to do the same.

“What about March 2
^nd
?” I offer up.

Dr. Brown nods gently. “You may want to schedule it just a bit sooner. Things are only going to escalate quicker from here on out.”

“February 20
^th
,” my mother says softly. “It is your father’s birthday.”

I glance at her. This is the first time she’s brought him up in years. I’m surprised she remembers such an intimate detail about a man she hasn’t even seen in more than twelve years.

I nod. “February 20
^th
seems like a good day.”

She exhales loudly. We are putting an expiration date on my life, and it’s affecting the both of us to the very core.