Read Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters Online
Authors: Sudha Menon
In our family, all of us know the value of the words commitment and persistence, don’t we? How can we not? It is these two qualities alone that brought back your brother Amit from the months that he was bedridden after the medical set back eleven years ago. Amit was so young and full of life and so much involved in his passion for tennis and a variety of other sports. I’ve never been able to forget the shock and the searing pain that went through me when I saw my young son on that hospital bed and the doctor’s words that it would be a long haul to recovery. We were all devastated, and for you it was even worse because he was your confidant and soul mate. All of us marvel at Amit’s tremendous will power, his insistence on appearing for his engineering finals with a writer to help him, his moment of triumph when he cleared it with a distinction, and his every triumph since then. After that episode, the ‘fittest boy in town became the strongest boy in town.’ In all the years since, Amit leads a full life and has a great career. One can only salute the human spirit when we see Amit with his loving wife Minu and their angel of a daughter, Suhani.
Pooja, through it all, your mother and I remember how generously you gave of yourself to your brother. At 24, you had a promising career and life but you put your every pre-occupation aside to immerse yourself in getting your brother back on his feet, completely recovered. The love, care, dedication that you gave was not only heart-warming, but one of the key factors that contributed to his recovery. For us as a family, it was a period of bonding, committing ourselves to each other and learning about the power of a positive attitude and persistence.
Like in my personal life, I have always encouraged the corporate sector to commit themselves to the welfare of the community around them. The success of my Pune Power Model and its replication in other cities is validation of my faith that clarity of goals, honesty of purpose, and perseverance will always pay off.
Dear Pooja, other things in my life have also shaped the person I am today, a silent activist. As a child and later, when I was in school, I would be mystified by my grandparents and their queries about the surnames of my friends who came visiting at our home in Rajasthan. I would sometimes dismiss it as harmless curiosity and at other times as an annoying habit. It was only years later that I realized the shameful secret behind their questions: it was the hideous classification of people based on their castes!
Over my years in corporate life, I have seen how young men and women from certain sections of society, castes and tribes struggle to find their own place in the larger society around them. They come from disadvantaged economic and social backgrounds but strive hard to improve their lives. But years, indeed, generations of discrimination have rendered them at a disadvantage when competing with the world around them. Often, they have to do jobs much below their actual qualifications and abilities and somewhere the realization came to me that we need to do prayashchit (penance) for the paap (sins) of our forefathers. I am neither a social reformer, nor a politician but I was convinced that I could play a role in giving those children from socially challenged sections an opportunity to unleash their full potential and lead a life of self-respect. I knew what these young people lack is a huge boost in self-confidence and self-belief. The inability to communicate or articulate their point with the suaveness of us city-bred people and a lack of grooming have also combined to keep them away from the plum positions that could be theirs, given their skill sets. I had a vision in my mind, of giving them a fair chance in life and it got translated into the now famous ‘Finishing School’ for students from the scheduled castes and tribes, a concept wherein we impart a clutch of soft skills so that these young people emerge as strong candidates for employment, employability, and entrepreneurship. This powerful affirmative action, made possible by the collaboration between CII and the Symbiosis educational institutes, has changed the lives of hundreds of students over the years and has since then been replicated at many locations and covers a wide variety of vocations ranging from ITI’s, Polytechnics, Engineering, and even MBA students.
A few months ago, I was rushing to check into my hotel room before heading out to a conference when the young woman at the reception surprised me by thanking for transforming her life. Taken aback, I excused myself saying I could not recall if we had met before. She smiled brightly, telling me that she had passed out of one of our Finishing School batches and had been selected for a job on the basis of merit, almost immediately after that. She had always aspired to work at a five-star hotel and the soft skills she had learnt gave her the confidence to show her talent. Pooja, I cannot express the satisfaction and joy that I derived from that young woman’s story. I had managed to use my position as a corporate leader and CII office bearer to create a platform, influence a cross section of industry leaders and education institutions, to benefit the section of society which has been traditionally neglected. Without politicizing anything or discussing quotas and abilities, I had managed to alleviate a long-standing scourge of society. God creates everybody equal and does not give IQs to children on the basis of their surname. We give surnames later and create stigmas. Every child is entitled to fair opportunity and I know this movement that I initiated will make a difference in many lives.
I am asked by my many friends why I have not opted to be a full time activist—a social crusader or even get into active politics. My answer is a question—‘For Bhakti (devotion to God), does one have to be a priest or go to a temple?’ Each one of us can do it from where we are; if we really care. May be I did not have the courage to fully give up my comfort zone but the important thing was to listen to my heart and doing what gives me joy.
Some of my friends in the corporate world often tell me about their plans to devote a lot of their time and resources to social agenda later in life, after they have achieved their professional goals, settled their children etc. etc… My advice to them, always, is that the process of ‘settling’ never happens in life and our social commitments have to be honoured in everyday life. Unfortunately, many of us consider the obligations to society as an option to be exercised if and when it suits us. Very often we get so engrossed in our personal lives that we forget that there is a larger world outside of our small families and that each one of us owes something to this other world. Much as I was engaged in undoing (in a limited manner) the wrongs of our caste system, I got drawn into yet another engagement, this time, with the environment.
Over the last few years, I have been preoccupied with the thought that just as our purvajs (forefathers) left the wrong legacy of the caste system in our society, the present generation will, if its reckless behaviour is not checked, leave a depleted and dangerous planet for the next generation. And we have no right to do this under the garb of development. Like many others, I am convinced that Vikas does not have to lead to Vinash (Development can coexist with Environment Sanity). That is how I started my Green journey and set up the country’s first Green Factory, near Pune. It was a fascinating search for harmony which not only transformed the approach to development but has become the guiding light for many organizations in the country. My employer Cummins, which strongly supported my initiative, has made this project part of its best practice, worldwide. What has emerged is the amazing business case for Green. I keep reminding everyone that it is no longer nice to be Green but you are dumb if you are not Green. From the success of this green factory building, I am now driving through CII, a national movement towards ‘Green Companies’, wherein organizations move towards a wholesome, environmentally sensitive conduct in all its functioning. Once again, a detour Pooja, for an agenda that affected society; but done within the contours and context of the corporate world. It further reinforced my conviction that societal agenda can be addressed from different platforms and is certainly not the exclusive domain of either the State or social and political organizations. You can be an activist in the Boardroom and nobody needs to take a sabbatical to address issues of People and Planet.
Often our personal values also become the values that we mimic at our workplaces. Throughout my growing up years, I saw the love and admiration that my father got from the organization that he worked for. Government jobs are often thankless and offer limited rewards to individuals. And yet, my father was a much-loved, respected, and admired man. Looking back, I know that it was from the way he brought grace, dignity, and the quality of caring in his job. It is from him that I adopted my own equation with the people around me, at work, in the community and in the family. When times are bad, corporates often have a propensity to try and rectify the situation by getting rid of the people. Many years ago, in the midst of a crucial acquisition and merger, I remember my boss gave me a clear brief to ‘change’ people, especially at the leadership level, so that the integration of the companies could happen quickly and seamlessly. A year later, I had delivered the desired result of integration with outstanding success. But my boss realized that I had not got rid of the people at the leadership level as he had expected and directed. He questioned me and I responded by pointing out that I had, in fact, ‘changed’ people—but by bringing changes in them with respect to organization culture / processes etc. It goes back to care and grace. Pooja, these attributes are like our health—you realize its importance when it fails you. Each one of us experiences joys and pangs, excitement and breakdowns, preferences and prejudices and above all surprises when we are least prepared for it. But what we recall the most with extreme emotions are instances when we were treated with care or when grace and dignity was dispensed with. Increments and promotion as occasions are important but they fade with time. The enduring images in our hearts are that of kindness and grace and friendship from unexpected quarters.
It is said our various life experiences shape us and make us the people we are. Certainly, these societal detours made me a more sensitive, caring, and knowledgeable leader at work. Equally important, it made me emotionally and mentally less vulnerable to ups and downs of corporate life. There was always something exciting happening in my life which prepared me to handle business cycles with lesser pressure. People often ask me how I get the energy to do all these things while still delivering full corporate responsibility. Frankly, these activities don’t consume my energy—they give me energy!
Gudiya, each one of us choose a path to follow in our lives. For some it is achieving greater heights of corporate ladder and fulfilment at work. Others take up academics and yet others, sports. I chose to take up detours into socially useful projects, while still at work. That was my attempt at actualization. There is never a correct mix applicable to all. Each one can and does choose a recipe for life. My own life recipe changed during the long, lonely days that I spent in the intensive care unit of Bombay Hospital, some twenty years ago, after being grievously injured in a tussle with robbers who had broken into our home in the dead of the night. Even today, I break out in sweat when I think of the concern and the anger that coursed through me when I realized that there were robbers in the house and that they might harm my little children sleeping in the next room. I rushed out and grappled with them, trying to keep them from getting anywhere near both of you but ended up getting brutally assaulted. Pooja, even in the midst of that danger, my only thought was my children’s safety, and I recall how you stood terror-stricken, at the sight of me lying in a pool of blood, on the floor. I did make it to the hospital and pulled through the crisis but in those days of uncertainty and loneliness in the ICU, I realized that the most important thing in my life was my family. I realised that it was not the next promotion or designation that mattered in life. In some ways, perhaps, all these years since then have been a bonus for me, but that episode helped me shape what is truly important in life and how we should not get consumed by so many trivialities and pettiness in everyday life. Faced with the uncertainty of life and certainty of death, I have shaped my life by scripting in my head the ‘obituary’ that I would like to have for myself. With that script it becomes so much easier to make choices in life.
Like every professional going through the ‘rough and fun’ journey, I had choices to make but in my head, since that harrowing time in our lives, there has never been any confusion on the priority between family and work. I have often shared this with my colleagues when they seek permission or time off for something important at home: In our work environment, we have succession planning and role sharing; at home there are no ‘backfills’. Work does go on in our absence (and sometimes that humbles us); but there is no substitute for us, at home. Important events and occasions in your personal life never come back but at work, you can make a difference in the next quarter or close the next deal. Which is why, I often made those really long detours for two-day visits to USA when your little Sahil was a tiny tot. My friends and yours too, commented on the strangeness of a detour to USA when I was actually meant to do London-Mumbai, but I would not have missed seeing him take his first steps or mouthing his first words, for anything in the world. For me, spending time with my children, three wonderful grandchildren and their lovely spouses Minu and Aseem, is not about work-life balance… it is about LIFE itself; not to be confused with what we do for a ‘living!’ What matters in the end for all of us is the lasting impression that we leave behind. Was he a caring, nurturing, humble human being? Did he leave a legacy of honesty, sincerity and love behind him? That is what matters…
For me retirement has not brought the slowing down that it brings along for most people. I continue to work as hard, only this time it is with projects that I enjoy taking up, the ones that make a difference to the people around me. I am engaging myself with many educational institutions like IIMs, Symbiosis, not only for teaching but in the journey of institution-building. I have intimate relationship with NGOs and of course steer so many CII initiatives. It means the world to me that my Pune Power Model and Green Factory experiment are case studies used at IIM Bangalore and Ahmedabad respectively. And even though I still have long hours and endless things to do, I know that at the end of the day, I get to unwind in the company of my grandchildren and that is enough to take away the fatigue.