Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters (19 page)

At sixteen years of age, when I was representing the country in badminton, I travelled second class and often in unreserved coaches on trains, sitting, eating, and sleeping outside filthy toilets in the train for a couple of days simply so that I could reach the training camp and better my game. I see that passion in you. I don’t know too many young people who work sixteen hours a day and I see that the fruits of that passion are already coming your way.

Deepika, I have learned that you can’t always win in life, that everything you want might not come your way, and events don’t always turn out as you want them to. To win some, you have to lose some. You have to learn to take life’s ups and downs in your stride. Looking back, the amount of effort that I put in my game never varied from the first day till my retirement, regardless of the money, the awards and recognition, winning or losing. Whatever I got in addition to playing was just added bonus.

Even during the toughest times, I focused on what I had, instead of dwelling on what I did not. I had the ability to make the best of the worst circumstances and remain steadfast to my goal. Thus, at the end of my career, I had no regrets, or any desire to ever return to the game, for I knew that I had truly given all to my passion.

Remember how I constantly tell you both about the importance of making your way up in the world without waiting for your parents to pull strings and make things happen for you? I believe it is best for children to work hard to make their dreams come true and to not have things handed to them on a platter. And it makes us immensely proud to see that both of you have followed our counsel and are making things happen for yourself.

When you are home visiting us, Deepika, you make your own bed, clear the table after meals, and sleep on the floor if there are guests at home. At home, you are not a star, and that is because we have taught you to be rooted in reality at all times. Showbiz is about make-believe. Everybody will rush to do things for you and pander to your every desire when you are on top. But the cameras that follow you everywhere will eventually fade and what will remain is the real world. If you occasionally wonder why we refuse to treat you like a star, it is because you are our daughter first and a film star later, and we want you to remember that you have to eventually return to the real world.

Dear Deepika, you are in an industry where there is much negativity, but I hope that you are the game-changer in it. As in every other industry, so too here, there is a place for everyone, and I believe that you don’t have to put anyone down in order to get work. If you can live your life without harming anyone, or talking badly about anyone, you can set an example for others. You might not succeed, you might even risk ridicule, yet continue to refuse to be a part of the circle of negativity. Strive to generate positivity around you even though you are too new and too small a player to effect a big change. Often you will find people who will lie and say untruths about you, but remember never to retaliate or talk their language. If what they say is untrue, ignore it. And if it is true, use their criticism to improve and transform yourself.

You are in an industry where there’s always going to be big money, but I hope that’s not your only motivation for work. I believe that it is important to try to be the best in whatever you do, regardless of money. Always focus on what you want to become as an individual and empower yourself to reach your goals without distractions. That big car or ‘things’ will follow later.

The things that really matter in life are relationships, honesty, and respect for your parents, and elders. Material success is important, not fundamental to happiness and peace of mind.

I have not always been perfect, but over the years I have learnt to strike a balanced view of life. After a life well lived, what is important to me today is peace of mind and good health. Your health is your most important wealth. Take care of it, nurture it.

I can’t tell you enough about the rejuvenating power of prayers and a little faith. You know it, of course, because offering prayers is a long-standing tradition in our family. Now that you are a professional with a demanding career, you might not always find the time to accompany us on our annual pilgrimage to Tirupati. Instead, spare a few minutes of your day, even if it is just twenty, to close your eyes and meditate, to think about God and you will see how much that faith in His power will strengthen you.

In the end, when your career is behind you, what remains with you and for you is family, the friends that you have made who will stand by you.

Live a life that is healthy, my children, and one that will allow you to live with your own conscience. Everything else is transient. And remember, no matter what, we are always going to be there for you.

Lovingly,
Papa

P.P. Chhabria

.P. Chhabria was born in pre-independence Karachi into a wealthy trading family that raised its children with immense luxury. Pahlaj, (as he was fondly called) and his nine siblings grew up in a sprawling bungalow set amid lush gardens and towering trees. He still remembers the happy times when the kids would go off on jaunts in horse carriages that were specially maintained for them, with dedicated staff to supervize.

But that life of comforts soon changed into a nightmare when his father died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack, leaving behind a grieving wife and young children. Almost immediately afterwards, his elder siblings speculated, unwisely as it turned out, in the commodities market and had to sell the family assets to repay creditors. And yet, he says, his mother, a hardworking woman who slogged silently to tend to her family, never complained because she knew her boys had to sell the family assets to honour their father’s name.

Twelve-year-old Pahlaj was put to work in a small wholesale cloth merchant’s shop, working as a lowly paid worker sweeping and cleaning, doing odd jobs around the place and offering tea and refreshments to the people who came there to tie up business deals. For the young man who had been used to having a paid servant to bathe and dress him, this came as a huge blow and proved to be a humiliation which he says had him raging against destiny.

The tough years continued, with one menial job after the other, till his family packed him off to faraway Poona to work as a servant in his paternal aunt’s home for a monthly salary of Rs 30 and lodging.

Looking back at his life on a high summer Pune afternoon last year, PP saab, as he is fondly called in his adopted city where his stature now is that of a loved family elder, told me it was his deep longing to free himself from the life of indignity and bondage that led him on a journey that began as a small time salesman of electrical accessories to the head of a Rs 4,000 crore plus conglomerate.

‘It has been a journey of great learning,’ said the 82-yearold patriarch of the Finolex group of industries, who continues to lead a life of discipline and hard work, despite the fact that the younger generation has stepped in to look after the business. Being a salesman who hopped from one tiny shop to the other in the tiny town of Pune taught him to be patient, determined, and persistent. If a shopkeeper refused to entertain him on his first five visits and shooed him away, he would go away silently and return a few days later, to make his sales pitch. And, if a buyer refused to keep his word and pay him, he continued to turn up at the shop, politely asking for the payment till the recalcitrant buyer dipped into his pocket and repaid his dues!

The journey from being an electrical switches and ceiling roses salesman to a businessman trading electrical cables and wires led him to become a defense and government supplier. At each stage, the confidence that he got led him to eventually set up his own cable manufacturing business, Finolex Cables, in 1958. The Finolex group of companies today boasts of multiple companies and eleven modern manufacturing facilities across the country. It has won several national and international awards and has been acknowledged as one of the country’s most quality conscious groups and wealth creators. It also has the distinct honour of being the number one manufacturer of cables in the country.

Such an arduous journey to the top of the charts has taught him about the value of being kind and cordial to people, because his own life was built brick by brick on the foundation of unexpected kindness of other people, some strangers, some even more poor than him.

Which is why, to this day, he makes it a point to make time for the humblest of his staff on the shop floor, stopping to listen to and sometimes take feedback from the watchman or the peon who have devoted decades of their lives in his service. It is a matter of great pride to him that the children of some of these loyal workers now hold positions in his group.

His one regret in life continues to be the fact that he never went to school after the age of 12. It was the fact that he was unlettered that relegated him to menial jobs for a large part of his life and while he painstakingly taught himself to speak and write in English, one of the requirements for his job as a door to door salesman, he continues to regret that he could not complete his formal education.

The Interntational Institute for Information Technology (IIIT), Pune, an educational institution that he set up in Pune, now run by his only daughter, Aruna, stands testimony to his belief in the redeeming power of education. IIIT has grown to be a widely respected institution of learning for cutting-edge developments in Information Technology and other high-tech areas.

My own memories of PP saab go back to the early nineties when I would run into him and his walking group at the thickly wooded, colonial era campus of the University of Pune. I was a struggling young mother trying to balance the competing demands of a toddler and a cherished career as a journalist. Early every morning I would head for a walk in the magnificent woods of the university campus. That was the one hour in the day that belonged to me, when I could regain my calm by breathing in the fresh morning air with the sounds of birds humming. Sometimes I would run into PP and would exchange pleasantries with him. On a few occasions we found ourselves heading towards the University at the same time so I would walk with him, often having to almost run to keep up with his fast pace and we would exchange notes about life and work.

At 82, PP continues to live and work with a discipline that few of us can match. He continues to remain true to his morning walks.

‘All my life, I have followed the practice of waking early, working all day and sleeping early. To wake early is to experience a freshness of the spirit. When you walk alone in the fresh morning air, nature walks with you and speaks to you, bringing ideas, energy, and the courage to make quick decisions. My association with the sky continues to fuel me with the power to envision and strive.’

(Taken from his autobiography,
There’s No Such Thing as a Self-made Man
.)

Here, he writes a touching, surprisingly candid, and infinitely wise letter to his daughter Aruna Katara, herself a mother of two today. Aruna steers the growth of IIIT, her once-upon-a-time-unlettered father’s ode to the benefits of formal education.