Authors: Karice Bolton
“I can see her!” I
squealed. I couldn’t believe it. Her hair was blowing behind her
swirling around indicating she was going pretty fast.
“I knew you could do it,
Ana. This is the kind of thing we need. You can see why this is
pretty important, huh?” Cyril said smiling as we started walking
over to meet Arie.
“So why don’t we use that
all the time?” I asked, kind of wondering why we took the slow way
around places.
“It drains quite a bit of
energy. We can do it in quick spurts for sure, but it isn’t
something that we want to always do because if we need it, we could
be out of luck. That and shapeshifting can leave us pretty drained.
In certain circumstances, it’s a must. We don’t want to use it as a
crutch though. The real thing we need to focus on with you right
now are your fighting abilities and your strength.
“So is that speed thing
something you think I’ll be able to do pretty soon or is that a
sneak preview that I’ll have to wait years for?” I asked, unsure
that I could ever master that kind of power.
“Geez, Ana. As fast as you
seem to be catching onto things I’d say, with practice, a month or
so… Not that far off really.” Arie said, hugging Cyril. “Better get
started with the serious stuff now, Cy.” She swatted him on his
butt.
“Gotcha. Ana, stand over by
the trees. First thing we want to work on is your running
attacks.”
I walked back over to the
trees that were dripping with moss, creating the rich rainforest
green the Northwest was so known for. I spun around ready to absorb
everything Cyril and Arie were ready to divulge. This time it
looked like it was Cyril’s turn to show off. He was positioned in a
crouch, not unlike the ones I had seen him in during the attacks
when Athen was with us all. He was low to the ground, hunching over
with his arm in front of him like he was ready to win a track
event.
He jetted towards me with a
speed that rivaled Arie’s acrobatics in the air. I actually wasn’t
sure if he was on the ground, or possibly just grazing it as he
jetted towards me. In a flash, he was behind me pushing down the
towering Douglas fir with momentum from his movements, nothing
more. The ground began to shake as the roots were flinging up,
releasing themselves through the soil like a bucket full of snakes
being thrown into the wind. Arie pulled me into the air with her
before I was engulfed by the havoc that was being created in mere
seconds by Cyril. The loud snapping of the limbs as they brushed
against the other trees on their way down was nothing compared to
the thunderous crash the trunk of the fir tree made once it
contacted the ground. I couldn’t believe that kind of destruction
could be done with Cyril only running 30 feet. It also made me
wonder with such power, how could Athen have lost against the
demons? How much more powerful are they than us? Arie set me back
down on the ground where a mini crater was now staring back at us
from Cyril’s act of destruction.
“Good thing a wind storm is
scheduled for tonight.” Cyril said, his cockiness not to be
missed.
“Now, I want you to emulate
what you saw, Ana.” Cyril said, as if that were a real
possibility.
“Um, right okay. I’ll just
start running towards that boulder over there and hope for the
best. By the way, should I stop once I get to it or just keep
going?” I joked.
“With that attitude, I’d
suggest stopping beforehand.” Cyril said, not amused with my humor.
This wasn’t a side of Cyril I had really seen before. “Come on,
Ana. Think about what you learned when you saw Arie when you
thought you couldn’t.”
“What… I’m supposed to
become one with the rock? Honestly, I’m sorry. I don’t see the
correlation between a living person and a piece of
stone.”
“It’s not about living or
not living, Arie. It’s about energy. Projecting your energy on an
item, and receiving energy from an item. Tell yourself what you
want to do, and let the energy begin to consume yourself and the
item of interest. You’ll be surprised.”
Interestingly enough, I was
kind of starting to get what they were talking about. If I can see
it, and if I can believe it, then I can achieve it - self help 101.
Great!
I shook my head at Cyril
and Arie and stood in place. I took a deep breath in, letting the
moist air penetrate my lungs as I thought about what it was I
wanted from that boulder. I wanted it to move. I wanted to move the
piece of earth. I felt my knuckles begin to feel as if I needed to
pound them against something. Anger was beginning to build -
excitement was next. I envisioned myself taking control of a
completely inanimate object and controlling it. I let the air
escape my lungs as I felt an uncontrollable energy build. I found
myself crouching in the position I had seen my family do so many
times before. I was in another element. I let my eyes slowly open
to view the large boulder in front of me. I took in one more breath
and shot myself towards the insurmountable piece of rock. I felt
like I was on fire as I sped directly for my target. I closed my
eyes picturing the boulder being displaced while my speed continued
to burn my flesh. My voice screamed out for Athen with all of my
might as I shoved the boulder off of the cliff, with my body
following directly behind the mass as we tumbled towards the
ocean.
Chapter 15
After the cliff incident, I
began to understand my strength a little better. Shockingly, as I
fell over the cliff there was no fear – only desperation. There was
the desperation to get Athen back, and the desperation for my
training to be over with, and the desperation to just be done with
everything - have a bit of normalcy. I was thankful that Cyril and
Arie were able to save me before I crashed into the waves - don’t
get me wrong. But the weight of the world was resting on my
shoulder and there was a milli-second or two where crashing towards
the ocean didn’t seem like the worst thing. Cyril’s words
interrupted my thoughts, probably for the better.
“I’ve been thinking about
it…With him fleeing the hospital like that our plan could really be
delayed. Not that I blame him with what he saw. He very well may
want to throw himself off a cliff after that one. Walking in on a
girl you thought you knew, looking like a serpent, fighting who he
thinks is her sister? Pair that up with whatever hunch he has been
having about Angels and Demons, and he probably thought he went off
the deep end.” Cyril almost seemed amused.
“Glad you can find the
humor in this, Cy but, I’m not. I feel like I’m doomed to make this
Awakening and reintroduction process fail. I can’t seem to control
my actions. I find myself in a fight with that demon woman, only
steps away from Athen where he can and does walk into it? Come on!
I should be the one committed! You know, it’s amazing you guys were
able to get me so quickly from the fall. I still can’t quite get
over that.”
“Well, our odds might have
improved to get Athen back if we had let you fall into the ocean.”
Cyril said, trying to add some levity to the seriousness of my
mistakes.
“The truth is, Ana, that if
somehow he lets himself understand or believe what is going on, and
he taps into some of those powers, he could stay away for a very
long time. He has the ability to stay away, stay hidden. We all do.
Usually, it never comes into play because once the Awakening has
begun, the person has no clue what’s going on, and it’s the family
that can reintroduce everything in a somewhat safe environment.
They would have no reason to run because they don’t think anything
is going on. Unfortunately, I think it’s safe to say that might not
be the case any longer with Athen.”
My head began throbbing,
right behind my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut attempting to not let
any light reach my soul. The pain was overwhelming, or maybe it was
the desperation that was welling up inside. Maybe it was one
creating the other. I had no idea, and I didn’t care. Now thinking
that Athen could be fleeing not only the demon woman but us as
well, created a sickness well beyond anything I had control
over.
“So we can stay gone?
Forever? I thought we could always track our loved ones. Remember
the homing beacon and all?” In addition to the intense throbbing, I
was certain things were beginning to spin. “I don’t understand. I
really don’t understand.”
“This doesn’t normally
happen. But being that he doesn’t really remember us, I’m guessing,
the nonsensical scene that he witnessed created a real glitch in
the process. It seems like he was onto this world or the idea of
Demons and Angels and somehow still connected to his past just
enough to make some of these things seem tangible. I think there
was a good chance he was on the verge of getting some memories
back, maybe not the ones we needed; so when he saw what he saw at
the hospital, he might have realized he was onto something a little
too frightening. Things may have come back all right leading him to
the conclusion to stay away. Since we weren’t there to place the
memories, there is no certainty what he does or does not remember.
He could be escaping everything, including us.” Arie was shifting
uncomfortably on the couch.
“Like a nomad? I thought
that was only for the dark demons? I didn’t think the white demons
went through that.” I needed to lay down. This wasn’t even an
option that I knew was possible but if he can disappear maybe I
could too.
“They are usually the only
ones that use it because the families never want to separate. This
situation is creating circumstances I never accounted for, Ana. My
guess is that he wants to stay hidden, and he will, until he’s
ready.
If
he is
ready.”
Feeling numb, I stood up
and waved to them both to stop talking. I needed to lay down. I
felt as if I was mourning Athen all over again. Was that the last
time I saw him? In the hospital? The thought of him not wanting to
be found, especially not be found by me, brought my world crashing
down around me.
I crawled under my covers
wishing that I could take back so many things. The library,
Starbucks, the hospital - all encounters that could have been
harmless, but I interfered, forcing myself onto him in ways that
seemed so innocuous. Not realizing that my jealousy was raging
created a platform for destruction far worse than whether or not
Lilith might win him over. Here for months, I was filled with worry
beyond anything that I would lose him to her. Instead, it wasn’t
Lilith that I lost him to. It was me chasing him away as fast as I
could, probably leaving him to want to hide from the
world.
I began calculating how
long I should give myself before I offer my soul up to the other
side, become a dark one. It was the only way I could imagine
leaving the memories behind, avoid the Awakening from my family,
become just a listless ghoul roaming from place to place. I
wouldn’t have to suffer feeling this pain any longer. I could just
disappear as Athen did. If I won’t ever get him back, it seems like
the only solution. Never mind becoming the very creature I loathe.
At least the pain would go away. Should I give it a week, a month?
I wondered how to get a more definite timeline out of Arie and
Cyril without raising suspicion. The disappointment and disgust I
would leave them with was indescribable, that I was sure. Maybe
they would understand; maybe they wouldn’t. I doubt they have ever
thought that they might be faced with never seeing each other again
time and time again. Never again getting to feel the love that
flows between them.
The gravity and disgust of
the situation I was debating made the pain in my head searing. I
grappled with the idea of leaving everything and everyone I loved
behind. I wondered if there was a way to actually achieve this. I
felt myself moving closer to the edge - the edge of insanity, the
edge of darkness, and worse of all, the edge of not
caring.
I looked around my room
through different lenses. I could actually feel the change
beginning to take place. The coldness was beginning to infiltrate
every thought. The walls were beginning to build around my heart. I
hated to think about this, but I couldn’t fight it. The potential
of not being with Athen was creating this monster inside of
me.
***
Certain that I again had a
visitor in the night, I decided to let Cyril and Arie know. If the
visitor wanted to cause harm, wouldn’t that have happened already?
My mind drifted to a possibility that I knew wasn’t feasible, but
there was a tiny glimmer of hope that I couldn’t squash.
It seemed like when I
needed faith and hope the most, that’s when it would appear. A
lingering message meant only for me but from whom? Last night I was
certain, I recognized his touch. My hair lightly blew against my
neck before feeling his hand caress my face. Not wanting it to end,
I kept my eyes shut. As I felt the touch of his skin against mine,
I did my best to promise myself I wasn’t dreaming, but I couldn’t
be sure because when I finally did open my eyes there was no one in
sight, yet again.
I didn’t want to approach
it with Cyril and Arie as if I was thinking it was Athen. There was
no way they would believe that. I had to present it as a stranger
in my room, which, truthfully, was far more plausible than the
other option. Even I knew this deep inside.
Waking up without Matilda
was killing me. She would have provided clarity on my sanity, that
I was sure of. But, I wasn’t the lucky one to have her right now.
The silence of my bedroom was deafening as I got ready for the day.
No snorts, snores, or grunts from Matilda preparing me for the
day’s adventures. I really did hope that she was providing the same
level of comfort for Athen as she had for me for so many
years.