Authors: Dee Ellis
Even the girls opened up then; I learned about their schooling and how they were all doing. How fun and motivating the programs Sara and the library offered.
I knew soon enough Jackson was very serious about this mentoring program, because he had big aspirations. Devon did too, but he had a lot less faith in himself. I decided right then he would be who I paid close attention to. He wanted things for himself but doubted he could achieve them. If I could help him at all, I would be doing my pop and Sara proud. I wanted that; for Devon as much as me.
“Charli,” Britney spoke up, sitting forward when the questions began to slow, “What about you? Feels like camp and we’re playing 20 questions. You’re going to be part of the program too, right? Tell us about you.”
Well shit, I think I had a new favorite person. Britney was so open and her question so earnest, I knew she liked Charli. I thought perhaps I had little to do with her being here today after all.
Shifting to face Charli, all of us waiting for her response, I was anxious. We had spent the last hour talking about ourselves while she had been mostly quiet. Charli had contributed, asking questions for each of us to elaborate or laughing with us.
It had not been enough for me. I had felt her the entire time, close enough for me to feel her warmth and smell her sweetness. But I had been good. I had somehow shifted closer to her as if I couldn’t help myself. We weren’t quite touching. The electricity coursing between us like an invisible current made it feel like we were.
“Oh I didn’t know I had to play too,” She was smiling and seemed so full of light I was breath-taken, “What do I need to share?” Her eyes swung to me.
For a moment I held her gaze and everything that coursed through me in that moment was startling. Desire, need, panic, excitement, fear, one after another sharp emotion burned through me.
At my chest, something tightened and then bloomed wide open through me, like she was literally the sun to me. Waking me up and letting me feel things I never even realized were possible. I was aware of every single thing about her in that all too short moment we shared.
Charli was excited. In more ways than one. Face flushed a lovely pink; her beautiful eyes were less gray and more silver, like a stormy ocean. Bright with need. Her bangs fell into her eyes when she bowed her head and hid a smile or a laugh from me. The pulse of her thudding heartbeat strummed at her slender neck.
She leaned into me now instead of pulling away. Her knees angled toward me, one foot bouncing. I saw she had kicked her shoe off and I could see her cute, tiny toes. They were painted pretty pink at the tips.
When she smiled, she bit at the corner of her lip, as if not wanting to share it with us yet. Sitting beside me, she was anxious and switched on the exact same way I was. She had stopped pretending long enough to let me see.
“Whatever you want. It is your turn though.” Marcus smiled at her and I knew he liked her and I ignored the burn of jealousy that ignited.
“Seems fair, then. Today is exactly one week and one day of my being in Chicago. I am from the Midwest. Which means I have been employed as a librarian exactly,” Charli glanced at her wrist, she wasn’t wearing a watch, and looked thoughtful, "five days, I think? However, I acted as one for about a hundred years back home. In a previous life I ran my mama’s bakery; I might bring in some sweets to prove I can handle myself in the kitchen. Show you guys what home cooking is like. What else?” My eyes circled the space before landing on her; we were all completely enraptured. No surprise there.
“Why Chicago? I love lemon, if you make sweets, Charli.” Devon smiled a bright, toothy smile as we all sat forward for more.
“Why not Chicago? Its close enough to home at the same time its far enough away. Besides, I loved the movie,” Charli seemed to come more alive the more she talked, it was fucking beautiful, “also, hot dogs. I hear they have the best in the world so...someday I’d like to walk these stacks, and know I’ve read all the books I could manage and maybe, see my name on a few of them.” I knew now she was perfect; so funny and bright and snarky when you least expected.
As she spoke I realized she tempered sincere, honest things about herself with humor. Made me think the sadness that haunted her had no chance. There was no doubt she was a fighter. She wanted to be happy, to laugh and experience life. But Charli wasn’t used to living
despite
her pain and loss.
That was why Chicago; she could experience all the world had to offer for herself. Without the stigma of loss or pain bringing her down. Because here, there was so much loss and pain, no one would think twice when they saw hers.
Except I had. The minute I saw her pain, I felt everything except what she expected people to feel. I didn’t pity her or want to save her from her sorrow. I wasn’t drawn to her sadness and it damn sure didn’t define her. I just wanted her to laugh and be mouthy and fucked up and imperfect. More importantly, I wanted her to do it with me.
I wanted to know what her light and joy would cost. Because I would pay any price for her to have it. Anything. I wondered, sitting there with her and the kids, what it was that made me so certain of that. What it was about her that made me sure Charli was it.
Charli was it
. Because I was sure. Even as she sat there chatting so close to me, relaxed and engaged, having no idea I was it for her too.
“Cage,” Charli’s sweet voice was low and close to my ear, “what’s next?”
“Did we complete the Q&A Miss Elderry wanted, guys?”
“I think so,” Devon tapped his pencil on the notebook he had propped on his knee, “mine’s all completed. Miss Elderry said the fun stuff comes tomorrow. The tour of the fire house and all.” He seemed excited and I was glad for that, I wanted him to stay excited.
“Yes sir. I’ll show you my station and how we operate. I think today we need to discuss a little bit about what the requirements are for volunteering. That’s the first step I suggest and it’s a good crash course in the job but it differs a lot from a full time role.”
Then I spent the rest of the hour and a half we had left detailing them just what volunteering meant. The odd hours, the training involved and how it was a good test of your ability to do the job. Between snacks, lots of questions and some laughs, I thought we covered a lot.
For today I brought a few training materials for them to check out and even a few devices for them to get their hands on. It felt good to something I was so passionate about with kids who maybe thought they could be passionate about it too. I did pay special attention to Devon because I didn’t want him to talk himself out of giving it a chance.
Beside me, Charli seemed as interested in it all as they did. That hit me in places I hadn’t expected. I felt like I wanted to share everything with her, right now, every detail that would let her into me. So she might let me in to her. But I couldn’t, not yet. With her guard down she was open and full of her own questions and opinions and I ate it up.
By now she had shifted close enough to me that we were touching. Just barely, but enough that the electric spark that felt like it was always there hummed like a melody. When she moved, I moved too, as if my body had synced with hers without letting me know. I felt bound to her in a way I couldn’t explain if I had to.
Charli was still running though, or she would once she put her guards back in place and shuttered herself to me again. For now, she was pretending it didn’t scare her or flood her with need.
I felt it though and I knew it did. I felt her press close with urgency. Charli veiled it in innocent gestures. Reaching between us for a snack or a drink, leaning closer to hear one of the kids talk. We both knew better because when our eyes met each time, her skin flushed and hers were stormy and hungry.
I could smell her sweet scent and the shampoo she used. Could feel the softness of her arm brush my own, the zing that brief contact caused startling me each time she moved. It took all will power not to reach out and touch her, my fingers itched with the need to feel her beneath them.
The kids were all that stopped me. If it had not been for them I would have ruined shit, scared her off and made a fool out of myself. Soon enough though, they were leaving and the day was over. The air between us after they called their goodbyes was heavy. Charged. We were standing and she was so little and soft beside me, all curves and femininity.
I felt like it would be so natural to bring her into me, to take her mouth and leave no doubt she was mine. I knew it without touching her, without taking her mouth. Charli got a look in her eyes that maybe she knew it too and that’s why she was running. But I would let her run for now. I had all the time in the world. Charli was my forever, no need to rush it.
“Cage you were great,” Charli was flushed and bright and absolutely fucking beautiful, “the kids loved you. I think Devon wants it more than he wants to let anyone see.” I gathered up the tools I had brought for them to check out, Charli animated as she cleared the snacks away.
“I think so too. They’re all great kids, I really enjoyed being around them. I enjoyed all of it actually.” I smirked and we faced each other, going quiet again.
Once again she was in a halo of sunlight and I knew nothing else could be as beautiful. Need washed over me hot and demanding and I stepped closer to her, my eyes taking her in. Roving over her curvy hips and full tits and landing on her perfect face. Hungry eyes watched me back and I knew,
I knew
she wanted me too.
The need to taste her was so overwhelming I was dizzy, my eyes falling to her full, parted mouth. Her mouth drove me crazy; its sexy shape, full bottom lip and cute cupids bow. Jesus Christ. As she watched me she was already running. Charli started to close herself off to me, slowly, a piece of herself at a time.
Refusing her, needing to have her open to me this way, shit in other ways too, I moved to her. My backpack, full of the training materials, weighed me down but I was swift. Towering over her, I had to let her know she couldn’t out run this. Could not out run me. Not forever.
I was in her personal space and her softness pressed against me and the groan that rumbled through me should have embarrassed me. As I watched, her eyes fluttered closed and her head tipped back and once more, she gave me that sound.
My cock was at attention immediately. I wanted all her sounds; the sounds when I was turning her on, when I was making her laugh, and fuck if I didn’t crave the sound of her coming.
“Charli,” My voice was low, for her ears only, “I have never felt a single thing like how you’re making me feel. You can run. I know you want to. Just get this; I see it in your eyes, and we both know we feel it. So you can run because it’s scary shit. I’ll let you run for now. Until you know the same thing I do.” Not sure why I was being so bold, so fucking reckless but I couldn’t stop it.
“Cage...I-I don’t know what.... what do you know?” That’s what I wanted to hear, the tiny victory of her not denying this.
“Doesn’t matter if you run; far or fast, doesn’t matter. I won’t go away. This thing,” I pressed closer and she let out a sound, rawer than the others before it, “that we both feel? That was there the moment we met and is just getting bigger and better? It’s too hot and too real and too absolutely fucking important to go away.”
“Cage,” fuck I loved when she said my name and I groaned when she pressed closer too, "I... no. No.”
“Hmm, no lies, Sugar. Not to me. Lie to yourself that you don’t want me. That you don’t want me to consume you and make you mine. That you don’t know it’s going to happen. Don’t lie to me. Because we will happen, Sugar.” At last I touched her, cupping her jaw and pressing my thumb to her full, sexy, lips.
“Who do you think you are?” Rage lit behind her eyes but I knew it was weak and as my thumb tugged at her bottom lip, she gasped.
“I am your future, Sugar. Just like you’re mine. This is going to light us up and burn us to the ground, Charli.”
To say I had been anxious for today’s session with Cage and the kids was like saying I
might
want to breathe. Cage had done something to me and I had been unable to shake it. Then he showed up today, more perfect and beautiful than I remembered him. Memories did him absolutely no justice.
Tall and wide and muscled, he was a work of art. The full mouth, sexy, cocky smile and bright, full laugh that he shared often was almost too much. It was his eyes that meant trouble though.
Cage had the most stunning honey hazel eyes that rarely seemed to leave me. This did nothing to help my reserve. I had made myself a promise and when he looked at me like that, I wanted to break it.
After making a fool of myself the first day we met, I had vowed to control my attraction to him. I had to be professional right now. I wanted to make a good impression with Sara and the staff at the library. Cage seemed to be excited to have a chance to work with the kids and that should have kept me focused.
Until we sat together on a tiny love seat and I could barely breathe. He smelled like leather and the sun and I was moving too close, too often, to breathe him in. To feel his warmth and the firmness of his body against mine. Cage seemed just as aware of me, which also did nothing to help my promise. I was being absolutely improper and highly unprofessional.
Cage laughed and talked with the kids for hours, and I was so engaged I soon forgot all about that promise. When he was being so fucking perfect and charming and adorable, I couldn’t even remember why I’d made such a foolish vow. Sitting there with him on that couch, listening to him detail his life, his career, anything and everything they asked, I was in trouble and I knew it.
Cage charmed me and the kids effortlessly. I wanted to know everything, anything he would give me. By the end of the session, though I had learned plenty, I was craving more. Hungry for it. Hungry for Cage. Which he seemed absolutely aware of.
I felt raw and exposed when he touched me. Even the brief touch of his jean clad thigh against mine. Which drew me closer because I wanted to feel it. Without realizing it I soon was pressed close to his side, his arm grazing mine and my knee touching his. Like something pulled me to him, wrapping around us both and refusing to let me go.
Whenever his beautiful eyes met mine, which was often enough to keep my dizzy, I could see it. Cage felt this too, this burn between the two of us. His eyes were heavy and he didn’t bother to hide the need in them. Which left me feeling reckless and hungry in a way I had never felt before. Didn’t know I
could
feel.
Standing after the kids had left, needing some space from him, I was ready to run again. My instincts told me to run, that Cage meant trouble.
Yesterday I ran, no matter what I tried to call it afterwards. I had been running from him. From the way my body reacted to his, the way I felt open to him in a way I couldn’t control. Today was no different.
Instead of keeping my vow, I had gotten lured in. Into him and his stories and his warmth and the heady scent that filled my lungs and made me ache.
Being so close to him had been dangerous. As if his nearness had rendered me drunk and I was going to have one hell of a hangover to deal with.
“Cage you were great; the kids loved you. I think Devon wants it more than he wants to let anyone see.” Struggling to break his hold on me, I made small talk as we cleared our things away.
“I think so too,” He smiled and my knees were unsteady because that smile was potent,” They’re all great kids, I really enjoyed being around them. I enjoyed all of it actually.” Oh shit, why did he have to come right out and say it?
Then I wasn’t sure why it mattered, because it hardly needed to be spoken. It was obvious. I knew he saw it in my eyes just like standing there staring up into his, I saw it in his.
I wanted him and he wanted me and he intended to do something about it. Before I could run, he pressed close and a groan rumbled through his chest. That sound reverberated through me like a touch.
A sweeping, powerful and consuming burst of need tore through me. My pussy ached and I think I ruined another pair of panties. Cage should invest in some panties for me, I thought foolishly. The way kept drenching them.
Sweet Jesus
. His wide, firm chest seemed to fit me just right, my softness pressed against his muscled peaks.
Unable to look away, I watched his eyes as I pressed closer. Felt his erection at my belly, and saw the burn in his eyes when I let out a sound in response. Jesus his eyes told me everything. Cage didn’t even attempt to hide anything. I liked it even as it terrified me. My head tipped back as I considered just what I was going to do about Cage Cooper.
I had not come to Chicago looking for something like him. To be caught up in something that I had no control over. I had come here for the exact opposite. For me to take control of my life.
Then again, letting myself indulge in Cage was
kind of
still in the realm of me taking control. Doing what pleased me and no one else. By the look in his eyes, I kind of doubted I had a choice either way.
“Charli,”
Sweet Jesus
I hated how he said my name, it felt intimate and dirty in the best possible way, “I’ve never felt a single thing like how you’re making me feel. You can run. I know you want to. Just get this; I see it in your eyes, and we both know we feel it. So you can run because it’s scary shit. I’ll let you run for now. Until you know the same thing I do.”
Cage’s words, the way he pressed against me and hid nothing, and gave me nothing but honesty was intoxicating. But absolutely terrifying. I did want to run.
I didn’t know enough, not the important stuff but I had been right. Cage was like the sun, warm and bright with all the scorching heat that could burn me up.
I couldn’t handle losing something again. Especially not something like Cage. Because standing there, hearing the certainty in his husky voice, I didn’t want to run. Even if he burnt me up and left me in ashes. I wanted him whether it hurt or not. Because it
would
hurt. It always did.
There was plenty more said between us before my fight or flight urge kicked in. I wanted to be angry, to be offended but I wasn’t. From the moment we had met, the air between us had been charged with this thing. Whatever the fuck this thing was, it was more potent and palpable than I knew what to do with.
Apparently, Cage did not have that problem. No, he told me exactly what was going to happen and
Sweet Jesus
if right then I didn’t think he was right. Then I finally got angry because I was on a path to independence, a path that did not involve him. Or anyone else, for that matter. I wasn’t about to let him take that away from me when I had just gotten started.
“Who do you think you are?” At last my words had fire.
Then he touched me. His big hand was at my jaw, his thumb pressing to my mouth. Not to shut me up at all. But it worked. I forgot my argument, forgot we were in the middle of the atrium. Almost forgot my fucking name. The contact was more intimate than anything I had ever felt.
His eyes held mine and a corner of his sexy mouth turned up. It looked cocky but I ate it up. I was under his command and my back arched my tits into his chest; my hips moved to align his hard, impressive bulge with the ache between my legs. Then Cage spoke.
“I am your future, Sugar. Just like you’re mine. This is going to light us up and burn us to the ground, Charli.”
Could someone come from just words? I trembled and felt heat bloom through me, starting between my legs.
Sweet Jesus
, what was this man doing to me? Before I let him continue, before I risked more words or more touches, I fled.
Without a glance back my unsteady feet carried me from the atrium and back to my office. Which was starting to feel like more of a hiding place than a space for me to work.
I sank into the leather couch after locking my door and fought to breath. To calm the burn between my legs and the tremble of my thighs. While it had not exactly been an orgasm, it had all the markings of one and I needed a moment.
Sugar.
What a cocky, asshole, sexist thing to call me.
So why did I like it? Why did it not bother me that he said it so possessively
? Like he already claimed me. As if I was already his. We just needed to finalize the details. That’s how he looked at me too. Which, damn it, I also liked. I had never felt like I belonged to someone, not even Tucker. I don’t know where the need to feel like someone owned me, and I owned them, came from.
I had no doubt Cage would own me if I let him.
Could he let me own him? Leave no doubt that he was mine?
That’s what it would take for me, and I know it made no sense. It was petty and screamed of insecurity and yet, it was my truth. Was I even ready for it was the question.
Four hours later I was unpacking in my new home, after a long talk with Regan and Tegan, Cooper’s sisters. I liked all the Coopers, it seemed, because I adored those girls. Regan had out done herself in furnishing the place. I had expected a couch, appliances, maybe a bed. What I got floored me.
After arranging to meet with Regan, and doing my best to shake whatever Cage had done to me, I found them both at the cottage. They seemed more excited than I was. Regan threw the door open with a flair, Tegan providing a drum roll. I was literally speechless when I stepped inside. The first time, the house had been bare, and now it looked like a home.
Just past the foyer an alcove led to the living room, which now held a gorgeous deep blue sectional couch. In front of that a low, heather gray ottoman was styled with a glittering silver tray and blue candles. A slate colored entertainment stand took up one wall and besides a television; it was empty and waiting for books and trinkets.
Beyond another alcove, the kitchen now had shiny new stainless steel appliances. Off to one corner a tall, antiqued white table sat waiting for me to have guests. One bedroom rested on the main floor and a half bath, both of which Regan had left empty for me to add my own touches.
Upstairs had two bedrooms and a master bath, and she had gone to town on those spaces. A massive and romantic looking four poster bed took up the master bedroom. It was oak with a fluffy gray duvet and blue pillows and I loved it. The bath matched with fluffy gray carpets and touches of blue.
Tegan took credit for the second bedroom; white antiqued book shelves lined the walls and a desk sat in front of a wide window. The walls held framed photos of the library and different sites of Chicago, all with touches of blue. It was perfect and actually brought tears to my eyes. I felt like in this space, maybe I could write again.
“I... I can’t even...there are literally no words for how...” Shaking my head, I brought a trembling hand to cover my stumbling mouth.
“That’s what we were aiming for, kiddo,” Reagan seemed pleased, “I live for this shit. Plus, Pop loved it and we all aim to please him. Mom even gave her stamp of approval, which is not to be taken lightly.”
“Sara mentioned you might be a writer when you grow up,” Tegan smiled as she nodded towards the wide desk, “every dream needs a place to grow.”
“So all the Coopers are amazing, I’m gathering?” I laughed and then realized that might have given away more info than I meant to.
“Of course we are. Cage better behave for you,” Regan smiled and the two sisters exchanged a look, “Gigi and you will likely become BFF’s; the girl never met a book she didn’t love. She’s at Loyola right now. English major.”
“I can’t wait to meet her; Gwen too, I feel like she’s a mysterious matriarch.” Sara, Deacon and both girls talked so reverently of her, I was actually nervous to meet her.
I wondered what Cage’s relationship was like with his mother. With the girls. Then I wondered why the hell I was wondering that. What did that matter? Why did I even care? Would he care about my fractured family?
The look that had passed between Tegan and Regan when they mentioned Cage had intrigued me. I wanted to ask what she meant by her comment, but thought better of it. I had enough Cage for one day, thank you very much.
Lie
.
Lie, lie
.
The girls promised to come over once I was settled in for drinks and insisted I let them know if I needed anything. I promised to let them know if Cage got out of hand too, which made me wonder if I should mention our chat earlier.
I decided not to. His words had been meant for us, and I wasn’t sure what to think of them just yet.
I am your future, Sugar. Just like you’re mine. This is going to light us up and burn us to the ground, Charli.
After they left, I made the few trips it took to bring my things from my truck. I had so little that I had felt important enough to bring with. Photos, clothes, a few mementos and trinkets. Most my books. The rest I had left back home, which had bothered me to do.
It made it too easy for me to run right back and that much of a hassle if I never returned. I was happily opening boxes and finding places for things when I stopped.
I took a moment as I stood in the middle of the living room and let it all settle. I had moved away from home. New job, new city, new place. My place. I had never had my own place. This was mine.