Let It Burn (21 page)

Read Let It Burn Online

Authors: Dee Ellis

“That is for you.” Lola nodded with a knowing smirk toward the book Cage had left.

“What? Why?” I could feel her excitement so I thought better about asking more questions.

My hand pressed to the cover of the book, feeling the leftover warmth from him holding it moments before. Pride and Prejudice. Not light reading exactly and certainly not something I expected Cage to check out. Opening the leather cover, I saw a torn piece of notebook.

Scrawled on it was a long note, in very neat squared off writing. My name at the top, Cage’s signature at the bottom. My skin flushed with heat because it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Slamming the book shut when I felt Lola hovering, I did my best to appear nonchalant. Clutching the book to my chest, I ignored her smirk and headed to Sara’s office.

As I walked, I opened the book again, letting my fingers run over the writing he had left for me. I wanted to read it, but it was longer than a little note and I felt a lot more important. I had shut him out before so he had found a way. The truth of that touched me and I wished I’d ignored Sara’s request and brought him to my office.

Then again, I had every idea Sara wanted me in her office because of Cage. Maybe she thought she was saving me from something. Protecting me from him somehow. Oh she could try. I certainly had. At this point I kind of felt like nothing was going to stop this thing between us. I wanted Cage and he wanted me and it didn’t make sense and scared the shit out of me. But I wanted it.

Standing outside Sara’s office, I braced myself. I know whatever she wanted to discuss had to do with him. With what she saw happening between us. What I know I should fight but no longer wanted to. Whatever she had to say would be because she wanted to protect me.

It would hurt, I was certain of that. Because it was meant to discourage me from considering Cage as an option. Which Sara was wise to do. Didn’t mean it would work. I am too far gone to turn back now. I knock gently once, and then push the door open. I clutch the book with Cage’s note inside, using it like a shield for what she’s about to say.

“Come in, Pet. Sit down with me. Want some tea?” Sara was friendly but cautious as if she knew I was preparing myself for her interfering.

“No thank you. So... what do you need to discuss?” I sat across from her on the leather couch, pressing the book to my lap.

“Well...look I already broached the subject of Cage once. I love that boy like the son I never had. I do. I just...I know more than you realize why you’re here, Charli. Why you needed the fresh start in a new place with nothing holding you back. Cage is.... he’s an intense individual. I see how he looks at you and how you look at him. I see him as the anchor to your sails and I don’t want that for you.” Well shit she was direct.

“You’re right. I know you are. I left Iowa because.... the ghosts...my ghosts were never going to let me rest. Not there. I need something for myself, that’s not tied to anyone else or has me owing anyone else. This library is it, Sara. You having faith in me to lead that program. Those kids. That’s why I’m here.” I didn’t realize it before I said it, but I knew it was true.

“Cage is just...he’s a good man, like his father. I just want you to know...to go in to whatever you decide to do here, with your eyes open. I just had a talk with Cage because,” She set her tea aside and cleared her throat, “...well because he’s got quite the reputation for the company he keeps. We were all frustrated because he’s...he’s better than Finn Cooper and those ragamuffins he hangs out with at O’Malley’s.”

Sara nearly shouted this, as if she had told him time and time again he was not that kind of man. But he decided to act like he was, anyway. Which is what Finn had meant about the bunnies, as he had called them, at the bars they frequented. That day at the fire house, he had insisted I hang out with them at the bars. More for the ‘badge bunnies’ benefit than my own.

I had no idea what he meant before an angry Cage had cut him off with a glare. When Lola mentioned she had heard about Cage, I assumed it meant the same thing. Cage Cooper was every bit the manwhore I had feared. Which explained so much and yet not even close to enough about the Cage I knew.

Cold washed over me and I waited for it to ruin the feelings Cage was stirring in me. I knew it would. Any moment now. I’d be disgusted and angry because.... because he led a life that included burying himself in whoever would let him. Before. Before he met me and I met him.

My hands closed tightly around the book, rubbing the spot where the title was embossed in gold. I bit back the smile that was working its way up. Because clearly I was a mad woman. I had to be; I knew it should bother me, and in a way it did. But not the way I expected, and certainly not the way Sara intended.

What I felt was pure, raging jealousy. I wanted to know how many, how often, where, and most importantly, why. As Sara went on about Cage I was hardly paying attention. I was thinking about how I could compete. How I could make him forget the other girls. However, many there might have been, before me.

I thought about that movie where the couple climbed onto the fire truck to make love. That was hot. I thought about one of the books I loved, where a hot Alpha character was so obsessed with the female heroine they fucked in a club full of people. Also incredibly hot.

“I told him not to run you off, Charli....I’m...we’re all quite fond of you. I think of you.... well you know...I think very highly of you.” I focused on Sara’s words, noting the wetness in her bright green eyes.

“Sara,” I heard Cage call her Sweet Sara and he wasn’t wrong, “I can’t tell you what you, what everything you’ve done for me means to me. I needed to be here, to be...somewhere else and you made it happen. I know you want to protect me....” Sara shook her head and smiled, sipping at her tea.

“Oh no pet. I want to protect you both. The way he looks at you is the way Deacon looked...
looks
at Gwen. It’s what Cage was looking for, before you. I know you had such grand plans for this new chance you let yourself take here. I don’t want to deter you, either of you. It’s not my place to even...I just want both of you to be sure what you might be giving up is worth what you might gain.” Watching me with a soft look, she took a long sip of her steaming tea.

“I know. I know, Sara.” I gave her an awkward one-armed hug, neither of us good at affection it seemed.

Then I headed to my office, careless about planning for tomorrow’s final day with Cage. Or the new mentor, a doctor who seemed very excited about working with the kids. I should be making notes for today’s visit or tomorrows. Maybe planning next week’s sessions, as our doctor was not nearly as prepared as Cage had been. Instead, I locked my door and sank into my chair, the late afternoon filling my office with buttery light.

Taking a deep breath, I set the book on my leather blotter. My hands shook a little as I opened it, as silly as that was. Before I read his words, I smiled as my fingertips traced them. Feeling the spots where his pen had dented the paper when he wrote harder. Smiling at a scribbled word when he changed his mind. Then I adjusted my glasses and read it.

 

Charli,

 

I will battle your ghosts even when you’re not ready. I’ll let you battle mine too. I been searching for you basically my whole life whether you believe it or not. Be scared. Just...be scared with me, okay, Sugar?

I want to do this right but I know you want to shut me out. So every day until you tell me you want me too, I’ll leave you a note with something important in it. Just for you. I’m reading books because of you so you owe me the favor of reading the notes I leave you in them once I’m done. I’ll explain my book choices another day, Charli.

Today we talked about my uncle a little. So today’s important thing:

His name was Griffin. I think he loved Sara. I know he loved me and my sisters. He loved his job and helping people, which is one reason I love it so much too. He died saving someone because of a fluke accident. We haven’t lost any while I’ve been at 71. But, it happens. Pop’s lost a few men. Less than ten in nearly thirty years. Too many still, I know. I just...It happens, Sugar. Not often enough not to live because of it, though. Despite it.

What else you need to know about me......

I am 23, 24 in a few months since you know my birthday. I’ll take you in your birthday suit as my gift ;). I like pizza. You saw that today. I don’t like chocolate. I spend most my time with my sisters and my cat, Mr. Belvedere. Hope you like cats, he’s pretty much here to stay. I can cook. My mom taught me how; said I’d need it someday. I love my family and one day I might manage to make my pop proud. You might be the reason for that, actually.

Things you think you know....

FIRST: I am single. But I’m no saint, as I have no doubt Sara whisked you off to relay. I will tell you everything you want to know. I promise it’s not CLOSE to as bad as I bet you think. For another time, though.

SECOND: I don’t intend to be single much longer, Sugar. I want you and you want me and once we get shit straight, that’s how it’s going to be. Like I said, you can run for a while. I’ll always chase you, baby.

THIRD: You taste like Sugar and crisp oranges and I want more. I need more of the way your softness feels against me, more of the sounds you make when I touch you just right. More of the feel of your skin beneath mine, the smell of your hair after your shower.

Sugar....You Have Bewitched Me, Body and Soul, Charli Dixon.

(Not mine totally stole it from Mr. Darcy.)

Counting my moments till tomorrow, Sugar. (Totally mine ;))

 

 

I must have read the damn thing four times. Especially his ‘Third’ call out that had my thighs clenching and my panties ruined.
Sweet Jesus
. How could I possibly concentrate after that? My day wasn’t over so I had to try. The entire time I made plans for the coming week’s mentor, I was thinking about Cage.

About his sweet, perfect, and absolutely sexy note and how it was working its magic better than he likely knew. Pride and Prejudice? I don’t even care if he read it for a class, which I learned from Sara he was still finishing up. That he read it, and called out the most perfect line for his feelings had me swooning.

It was dark when I finally had a rough outline of the next mentoring program. We would meet Monday and, like with Cage, the Doctor would give a speech to the entire class who took the mentoring program. Miss Elderry would be there again, and the kids I had grown so close to would be mingling with others.

Cage would be gone after tomorrow. Which brought a sharp pain into my chest. Not seeing him every day like I had this week wasn’t something I was ready for. Then again, according to that note, he had no intention of letting me get away that easy. So for now my focus had to shift to my program and making it work for these kids.

Hopefully Dr. Patel could arrange for a tour of the clinic he worked at, I thought a hospital might have too many variables. If so we could do a visit like we had to the fire house. I also hoped he could have some nurses and maybe PA’s take time to discuss other fields with the kids.

Hopefully we had a better turnout than Cage’s class had. Then again, being able to work so closely with the kids had been to their benefit, I think. I doubt Devon would have been so open had he been competing for time with a bunch of others. I was proud of him, and hoped he followed through.

After calling goodnight to Sara, the two of us sharing a long look of understanding, I headed out. Sara knew it was likely too late for me. Not as if considering Cage as an option to let into my life was some great tragedy. We both knew the risks, though. Now that I knew a little about her relationship Cage’s uncle, I thought maybe I understood her better than she knew.

She once mentioned a loss back home in Ireland too, but it was more painful I thought than any I had known. My loss cut me deep but it would heal as soon as I let it go. Climbing into my truck and leaving my parents’ place, the bakery, that awful town, had been my first step. Making myself flourish here, taking this job and that cottage and maybe, just maybe growing close to Cage were the next ones.

The breezy, sunny day had chilled and I wished for the light leather jacket I left back at my office. I clutched the note Cage had left me in a new book. Sitting in my office, my fingertips the faintest blue from tracing over his handwriting, I wrote my own note.

It was now tucked away in Emma, and when I saw him next he would get both the amazing book and my own little note. I smirked and noticed I was all but racing home in the breezy darkening night.

On the way I stopped at the corner bodega to grab some groceries since my fridge was empty. Picking up some bottled water, things to make a salad and some steaks that I picked up and put back twice, I headed to check out.

“Evening, Georgie.” I call politely to the owner, Jorge; he’s a nice man in his fifties who likes to talk about football with me.

“Evening Miss Charli,” He offers a crooked, toothy grin, “wine to go with your dinner, tonight?”

“You know what, yes. How about some moscato?” Even though the night is crisp, I think making a meal and sitting on the back patio sounds amazing.

“You got it Miss Charli. Enjoying the preseason?” He rang me up, carefully bagging the wine and veggies.

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