“Because it wasn’t.”
“But how do you know—and don’t give me some pointless answer like ‘I just do.’ You’ve never given teaching us a chance. How do you know it won’t feel differently if you try?”
“Because I didn’t feel like that with Audra!”
Gus cringes, and I realize he never told Os that important detail—which was probably the right call.
“What does he mean?” Os asks, reeling on Audra. “Did he teach you Westerly?”
Say no!
I want to beg her.
Lie to cover my mistake
.
But Audra squares her shoulders, glancing quickly at me before she turns to face Os and says, “Yes.”
CHAPTER 34
AUDRA
I
could’ve lied.
I almost did.
But in the split second that I had to think, I realized there’s a
bigger secret that I need to keep. And this is the best way to hide it. “Yes, he taught me,” I tell Os, silently begging Vane and Gus to
go along with this. “After we bonded. He wanted to make sure I had
extra protection, but I was only able to learn a couple of commands.” “That didn’t trigger a breakthrough?” Os asks.
“I’d hoped it would. But no.” I’m proud of how smooth the lie
sounds. “I’ve memorized the words, and I know what they mean
because he translated them for me. But the language is still a mystery.” Vane frowns, and I can tell both he and Gus are trying to figure
out what I’m doing. Thankfully, neither of them corrects me. If Os knew that Vane passed his heritage to me through our
bond, I’m sure he would expect the same phenomenon to happen
with Vane and Solana—and the possibility alone would sway the
Gales to vote to break our bond and try it.
Maybe it would work.
Maybe it wouldn’t.
But Vane is
mine.
Solana has pretty dresses and a pretty gold bracelet and the
pretty future the Gales promised her. But I have a lifetime of knowing Vane, protecting Vane, sacrificing everything to keep him safe.
And he chose
me.
I won’t let the Gales take him away.
I won’t let them know how powerful I am, either.
As much as I hate to be underestimated, it can also be an advantage. And if Os is harnessing the power of pain, I need all the advantage I can get.
“Did you know about this?” Os asks Gus.
Gus shrugs. “The battle was so chaotic it was hard to tell what
was going on.”
Os looks less than satisfied with that answer, but he turns back
to Vane. “And you won’t teach me the same commands you gave her?” “I told you, my instincts won’t let me.”
“What about Solana? Her family was chosen as our royals for
their kind, generous manner, and she’s been the only one able to calm
your nightmares—twice now.”
The reminder of my earlier failure cuts deeper than a windslicer.
So does the hope shining in Solana’s bright eyes.
But Vane’s words heal the pain. “I only trust Audra.” Os reels back toward me, his disgust so obvious it might as well
be a sign around his neck. “And what commands have you been privileged enough to learn?”
“Why do you care?” Vane demands before I can answer. “Because I’m trying to strategize! If you won’t teach the rest of
us, the least you can do is tell me her strengths so I can organize our
formation accordingly.”
I choose only things they would see me use during the fight. “He
taught me how to call a Westerly. And how to weave all four winds
into a spike.”
“The same spikes Gus used when he defeated the Living
Storm?” Os asks, stepping closer when I nod. “We need those for
this battle. If you won’t teach us to weave them, at least supply them
for the others.”
I’d thought of that earlier—and it seems like a fair compromise.
But the idea of handing over that kind of power turns my stomach.
Vane must feel just as torn, because when I look at him he shakes his
head—but it doesn’t seem like a “no.”
It looks more like he’s leaving the decision up to me. “Please,” Os whispers. “I don’t want to lose any more of my
guardians.”
For a moment he looks like the Os I remember—the valiant
captain staring at me with a mix of fear and respect.
I don’t understand or agree with his recent methods, but I know
he’s trying to protect our people.
That doesn’t mean I can trust him, though.
I try to think through everything I’ve learned about the Westerlies, hoping there’s some clue that will tell me what they’d want me to do. They’re brave and loyal. Steady and peaceful. And yet, the command that finally allowed our escape from Death Valley was an aggressive word—almost violent. I never would’ve thought to give that kind of command to a Westerly. But that was what my shield told me to use, like it knew there are times when we have to push beyond what feels comfortable and go with something more
extreme.
I take a deep breath, looking at Vane as I say, “I’m willing to
weave one spike for every guardian. Only one.”
Vane hesitates for a second, then nods.
Os does too, though he looks less than satisfied. “How long will
it take?”
“How many guardians are coming?”
“Nineteen, including myself and Gus. Twenty if you count
Solana.”
The numbers feel heavy in my head.
Twenty-nine Living Storms—plus who knows how many
Stormers—against so small a band of Gales . . .
Os must read the worry on my face because he tells me, “You
could teach us your commands.”
“I can’t.”
“Really? And what if Raiden captures you? Have you thought
of that?” he asks Vane. “You realize she could hand him the power of
four now, don’t you?”
“Uh, have you met Audra? If anyone’s stubborn enough to resist Raiden, it’s her.” He flashes a small, sad smile at me, but that isn’t
what makes my breath catch. It’s the absolute trust in his eyes. Not since my father has anyone shown so much faith in me. “But I’ll never let that happen,” Vane adds, his voice darkening.
“Raiden won’t get anywhere near her.”
“If you really want to make sure of that,” Os snaps, “you’d give
more of us the power to protect you two.”
“The wind spike was all I needed,” Gus reminds him. “And if
Audra’s going to make them for us, she should get started—now.
While we still have enough winds.”
We all turn to the window. The sky is a clear, perfect blue, but
the trees in the grove are mostly still. The morning breezes that usually stir their leaves are whisking away. Spooked by the change in the
air.
Vane slips on his shoes. “Will you be okay without me for a few
minutes?”
He’s talking to me, but Os is the one who answers. “Your responsibility is
here
, Vane.”
“Actually, I thought my responsibility was with every innocent
person in this valley.”
“And you think you’re helping them by wasting time warning
one
groundling?”
“He’s my friend.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“For me, it is.”
“Maybe you should let him go, sir,” Gus interrupts. “You know
he’s going to do it anyway.”
Os doesn’t agree—but his silence is enough.
Vane pulls me in for the briefest of kisses—so light I’m not
sure if our lips even touch—before whispering for me to stay close
to Gus and making his way to the window. I can’t help smiling as
he jumps outside and I hear the thornbushes crunch, followed by a
high-pitched yelp.
“So smug in your betrayal,” Os grumbles as soon as Vane’s flown
away. “You swore an
oath
—have you forgotten that?”
The words sting more than I want them to, and it takes me a second to find the right reply. “I’ve never stopped serving the Gales—
but my loyalty lies with my
king.
As I thought it was supposed to be
for all of us, now that he’s stepped into his role.”
“Has he now?” Os laughs without humor. “Do you know how
many guardians we’ve lost since Vane
stepped into his role
? Forty-one.”
He kicks one of Vane’s shoes across the room and it slams into the
wall hard enough to leave a black scuff. “
Forty-one
loyal, dedicated
soldiers who kept up the fight after you abandoned your duties. All
while we have a leader who harnesses an ultimate power he refuses
to share with anyone—except
you
. A leader who we thought had
at least been trained for this moment by our most dedicated child
prodigy. And yet Feng told me Vane knew almost nothing when he
took over. Did you do
anything
besides seduce him?”
My eyes sting with shame, but I fight back the tears. What Os is saying might be true—but I have to believe that
Vane shared his heritage with me for a reason, and that with the
Westerlies’ help we’ll be able to win the coming battle.
Voices outside break the uncomfortable silence.
Os sighs. “Excuse me. I need to go lift the morale of my soldiers
before the fight—not that there’s much I can say. Without the power
of four, we all know
someone’s
going to die today. We just don’t know
who, or how many.”
He stalks out of the room, followed by Solana. She doesn’t look
at me, but I can see her judgment in the straight line of her shoulders
and the sway of her hips.
Gus sighs. “Well,
that
went well.”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with all this—and thank you for not
correcting me.”
He nods, staring at the floor before he steps closer and whispers,
“You
have
had the fourth breakthrough, right?”
I study his face, making sure I can trust him. “Yes.”
He releases the breath he’d been holding. “Then maybe we have
a chance. Vane’s a terrible fighter.”
“I know. I tried to—”
“Relax, I didn’t mean that against you. My dad didn’t get very
far either—and he’s one of the greatest fighters in the Gales.
Was
,”
he corrects.
Guilt surges inside me, hot and sharp. “I’m so sorry—” “Please don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. And in a weird way,
I think this was what he wanted. He never got over losing my mom.
Now he doesn’t have to miss her anymore.”
The only thing I can say is what we’re always supposed to say at
a moment like this. But this time I force myself to believe it’s true.
“Now they’re together in the sky.”
Gus nods and looks away.
I leave him alone, heading toward the door.
“You don’t have to stay with me,” I tell him when he follows. “Vane will kill me if I let you out of my sight. And it’s probably
better if I stay out of Os’s way right now.”
I can feel all the guardians watching us as we make our way to
the date grove. It’s strange to see so many of them gathered together.
During my training they always worked in small groups. Bases of
five or ten at the most, to make sure we never opened ourselves up to
too many casualties. And once I was assigned to Vane, I was alone. If Raiden’s killed forty-one Gales—even if twenty-nine of those
were his recent capture—he must’ve taken down most of the nearby
bases. And if he wins today he’ll have wiped out the bulk of our
Pacific Fleet. I wish we had time to call the other fleets for aid, but
I’m sure that’s why Raiden is moving quickly. He doesn’t want us to
have a chance to regroup.
My legs feel heavy as we weave through the familiar overgrown
trees, but I stuff my exhaustion away. I’m no stranger to sleepless
nights.
Still, I wish I had time to steal away to the mountains for fresh
air to revive me. Instead I head straight to the sun-bleached walls of
my shelter.
Vane was right about the mess, and paired with the heat and
the bugs swarming everywhere, it’s hard to imagine that I actually
lived here. I never truly thought of this place as my home, but as I
cross into the small corner of shade under the few remaining eaves,
I realize that, for better or worse, these crumbling walls know the
story of my life.
I pull my windslicer from the slit I carved into the floor and
check the needles to make sure they’re not bent or tarnished. “This must’ve been a tough assignment,” Gus says, kicking away
a couple of date roaches. “I don’t know how you did it. I mean, living
in this piece of crap, having to stay hidden, putting up with Vane—
though clearly that last one wasn’t as challenging for you.” “Actually, having feelings for Vane was the hardest part. Despite
what you may think, I did try to fight them.”
“Hey, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine, Gus. You don’t have to pretend that you don’t think I’m
a traitor for bonding to him.”
“Good, because I don’t.”
I nearly prick my finger on a needle. “You don’t?”
He crunches a few more roaches as he comes to stand beside me.
“No. It’s a mess—I’ll give you guys that. But if this is what you both
want, I don’t think the Gales should have the right to interfere. And
I will never support them if they try to break you apart.” I’m almost too stunned to speak. But I manage a weak “Thank you.” That’s one vote in our favor at least. I wonder how many others . . . “How does it even work?” he asks quietly. “Like, how do you
break
a bond?”
“Aston didn’t say. He told me our instincts can guide us if we
decide to do it ourselves, and that it’s a bit like shifting forms.
But if someone does it to you, all he said is that it would be very
unpleasant.”
Gus shudders. “Sounds like an understatement.”
“Yes, it does.”
The holes in Aston’s skin flash through my mind.
Vane is so much a part of me now, I can’t imagine I’d be any
less scarred if someone ripped him away. But I shove my worries
to the same place I shoved my weariness. I have a lot of wind
spikes to make.
I build them the new way Vane used, with only one of each
wind united together. They turn sleek and deep blue and more
deadly than I even remember, and with each new spike, I whisper
a silent plea that I’m making the right choice by sharing them
with the Gales.
“Is that your bird?” Gus asks, pointing to the top of the tallest
palm. “Because that would explain a
lot
. Freaking thing screeches his
head off every morning at sunrise, and the only reason I didn’t blast
him across the country is because Vane wouldn’t let me.” I smile sadly. “Gavin was used to me coming home at that time.” It takes several deep breaths to work up the courage to finally
look where Gus is pointing.
I could’ve taken Gavin with me when I left, could’ve let him
fly beside me for my journey, the way he did every day since he
became mine. But after all the ways my mother lied and deceived
me through him, all the misplaced blame and guilt—even though it
wasn’t Gavin’s fault—I couldn’t have him with me.
Even now, as I stare into his angry red-orange eyes, part of me
wants to look away. But then I’d be as bad as
her
, turning my back on
someone who needs me, simply because it hurts.
I hold out my arm and call Gavin to my side.
For a second he ignores me. Then he spreads his strong gray wings and dives, landing on my wrist with an earsplitting shriek. His talons cut in just enough to let me know he hasn’t forgiven me, but not enough to draw blood. A happy truce I’m willing to accept as I
reach up and stroke the silky feathers along his neck.
“A storm is coming,” I tell him, beginning to understand why
Vane had to warn his friend. “You have to get somewhere safe. Head
as far south as you can and don’t return until the skies clear.” Gavin screeches again, and his wings don’t budge. But when I