Read Lettuces and Cream Online
Authors: John Evans
‘You come to help, have you? Have a go at this.’ He wasn’t given any chance to answer as Big Bear handed him a flapping screeching bird.
‘Hold it tight – that’s it - by the legs. Your other hand here behind the head – see?’ Her large, work reddened hands dwarfed Mikes, but he did as was told. And under the warm feathers his hand felt sinews and bone parting and the bird was silent. There were murmurings of approval from the women.
‘Fair do’s, that was the old cockerel – not easy that one. See, you’re a farmer now.’ The three women tittered and continued with their task, and Mike walked away towards the barn with an unseemly degree of satisfaction.
‘Bloody hell, what a day.’ Mike poked the fire sending sparks streaming up the chimney. The comedy programme ‘Bless this House’ was on the television but they weren’t really watching and only occasionally glanced at the screen.
Jan gave a weary sigh, ‘I’ve seen enough chickens to last a lifetime. And now I’ve got to start making pies - when I get a cooker of some sort.’
‘I haven’t forgotten, at least the freezer seems to be working okay. But I must get some proper cable and do the job properly.’
‘Mmm,’ Jan said absent-mindedly, ‘even the kids went off to sleep early.’
‘Not surprised really, they haven’t stopped messing about outside all day, building yet another den and whatnot. They had a great time.’
‘Put the telly off, lets get some rest, shall we love?’
‘Yeah, better head for bed I suppose. I’ve lots to do tomorrow.’ Mike yawned, got up, crossed to the fire and knocked the log remains to a safe position.
‘Me too, mum and dad will be here soon and we still haven’t got that room ready – and get a cooker sorted,’ Jan sighed with the stress of worrying about her outstanding work load.
‘I’ll give you a hand with the spare room; we’ll soon get it ready. After all, we’ve still got two weeks to do it.’
Jan too yawned, and rose from her chair, ‘yeah, okay, Darl, oh, I’m shattered, lets get some sleep.’
‘Come on then, it’s eleven, time for bed.’
Across the valley, the old antique wall in the lounge clock struck eleven. Chris was alone. With her two offspring in bed and Keith away until morning, she was feeling very isolated and lonely, but not particularly missing Keith. Perhaps boredom would have better described her mood because although she liked the farming life well enough, she still longed for the nearness of a big town and having lots of people around her. With the evening dishes washed and put away she was sitting at the kitchen table drinking – and smoking. She had found a nearly full bottle of wine that Keith had started, and was supping with relish. Chris gave a big sigh, stubbed out her cigarette and got up from her chair; carefully burying the fag remains in the kitchen waste bin. Keith believed that they had both had given it up some time ago, he had, but she was now a secret smoker. Picking up her glass and the wine bottle she moved into the comfort of the other room, but remembering to spray the kitchen with air freshener to kill the fag smoke before she left. The lounge as she called it, was, like Jan’s and Mikes sitting room-as they called it, a large room with low-beamed ceiling, and small deep-set windows.
She put a log on the enclosed modern wood burner fire, put on some of her favourite records, and slumped into her favourite chair. Pouring another glass of wine, she sat, staring at the glass fronted fire and the flaming logs.
Chris didn’t look at the world, and her place in it as Jan did. She was confident and happy with her body – well, apart from her ‘small’ breasts, but love and deep concern for others were not concepts Chris thought about. And debt never bothered her, Keith sorted all the money side of things. She was at the same time a somewhat disaffected, and yet, gregarious person. She could go through all the social and marital niceties as required but not be unduly affected by them. And she was clever at manipulating situations to suit her, and Janice was a blessing to her, someone to use, to enjoy and damn the consequences. In a way Jan was as detached from the ‘norm’ as Chris was, but Jan wanted, strove to be, a loving wife and mother whereas Chris didn’t. And Chris liked sex. She liked it very much. Men, women it didn’t matter, it was all sex all pleasure – and no guilt. And she had been with other men, before and since her marriage, not that Keith knew, but she had never been with a woman, but she had thought about it, often.
The room had now warmed, and she slipped off her cardigan, filled her glass again and stretched out her legs towards the fireplace. The wine was doing its work and her mind was letting go of the everyday farming and domestic matters. She was now missing Keith, not so much for his conversation, but for his body. She liked his masculinity, his hardness, and his degree of indifference towards her. The alcohol continued its relaxing effect, and through the haze Janice came into view. Although it was now a couple of weeks since the car event, she could clearly see and hear her now, gasping with excitement, her body trembling and twitching as she came. It had given Chris a satisfying feeling of power -and arousal, and she had gone home to Keith that night to with more than her usual eagerness for bed, for sex. Unusually, these memories were arousing her, yet she rarely indulged herself in this way preferring being intimate with actual people. To her, the actual interactions with others were the most important and exciting element, not the memory of it. But tonight, without hesitation, she lifted her skirt and slipped out of her knickers. She savoured the moment, running her fingers slowly through the triangle of curly light brown hair, eventually, touching, feeling between her thighs, letting out little sighs of pleasure as she fondled and probed. Her other hand was twisting and pulling vigorously on the nipple of her breast. As she touched and rubbed and fingered, she missed being filled with the hardness she liked. With lustful ingenuity she poured out the last of the wine - the cold hardness of the bottle neck enhancing the sensation, the pleasure…
Outside, the figure moved closer to the window with it’s open curtains
‘The Rayburn’s working really well, are you pleased with it?’ Mike gave a self- satisfied grin, his teeth showing white against his soot smeared face.
‘Am I? Oh yes, love, it’s fantastic, hot water and it keeps this old kitchen warm as well. Pity we haven’t got a bathroom though. Still, having hot water is great. And I’ll be able to make those chicken pies now that I’ve got a real oven.’
‘Yeah, great,’ Mike wasn’t really interested in the cooking business – only eating.
‘The coal is a bit expensive but as you say, love, it’s worth it. Of course I really should get that chainsaw now and cut some trees down, it would save us loads of money.’
Jan winced, more debt. Ever since Mike had arranged the bank overdraft, it seemed to save money they had to spend - a lot.
‘But buying a second-hand stove was a really good idea,’ Mike said, opening and shutting the fire doors for the umpteenth time. He took his job of Chief stoker seriously and liked looking at the glowing, warming coals.
‘Burning really well now. I think we did pretty good in the time. I know it’s taken us a couple of weeks, but we made it in time for your parents on Saturday. Got it up and running just in time. Hellish heavy though, I thought we would never get the damn thing into the house. Dirty job too, all that old soot. Wouldn’t have had that with a new one.’
‘You do look like a chimney sweep,’ she gave a laugh, ‘but don’t moan, it’s only dirt after all, and this one was so much cheaper. And in any case it looks almost new - it was a real bargain.’ Saving money, or rather spending as little as possible was her aim.
‘Yep, that’s true, and that plumber bloke we bought it from has made a good job of it. Good old Keith, he seems to know everybody.’ With a flash of inspiration Mike added, ‘I bet Keith would know where to get a chainsaw. Damn it, I wish we had a phone I could ring him tonight. Do you know, this phone business reminds me of when we were waiting for one back home in Barey, Do you remember?’
‘Of course I do, we had to share a party line with those nosy old neighbours we didn’t like.’
‘No neighbours out here,’ Mike said with a rare flash of nostalgia for the easy days in town, and adding with a sigh,’ah well, I’ll see Keith sometime, I suppose.’
‘We should be hearing from the phone people soon Mike, it would be a huge help not having to drive to see people all the time. We’d save on petrol too.’
The conversation was becoming a little too dismal for Mike, so he cheerfully changed the subject.
‘Right then, I’m so bloomin’ sooty I could really do with a bath,’ inspiration struck again, ‘hey, how about taking Chris up on her offer? It would be great having a real bath. I think that even the kids would like it. Be a bit of a novelty after all these weeks. And we would be nice and clean for your parents,’ Mike laughed at that idea.’
‘It’s two days before they get here, but yeah it would be nice. She must think we’re a stinky lot, it’s nearly a fortnight since she offered.’ Jan said.
‘Huh, don’t be silly; she probably doesn’t remember saying anything about it. When are you seeing her next? You’d better ask just in case she has forgotten. See, if we had a phone, you could ask her now.’
‘Not until next Monday at Am Dram, though I could send a message to her with the children.’
‘Blimey, I don’t think I can wait that long or I’ll be ponging a bit,’ Mike joked, ‘oh well, I suppose I’d better have a scrub down and wash my hair in here before the kids get home.’
‘I tell you what, Mike,I will send a message to her through the kids and perhaps we can all go over on Friday when the kids break up for half term.’
‘Good thinking Wonder woman,’ Mike quipped, ‘have a mass bathing session.’
Although to Jan it seemed like it happened yesterday, it was actually some eleven days since that eventful evening in Chris’s car. And Jan had been avoiding being alone with her by making excuses that she had other calls to make, and so needed to take their own car to the Am Dram meetings. Her curiosity however was as strong as ever and sometimes, when going about her daily chores, she would have one of those little involuntary intakes of breath at the exciting thought of what might - could happen. And, although she didn’t realise it, it was rather like the early days with Mike, wondering what sex would be like with him. But then, isn’t it the same cranial mechanism involved in both scenarios? In any event going over to Chris’s as a family would be safe - wouldn’t it?
‘I think I’d better go and give Pinky her feed before I wash and change,’ Mike decided, then added, ‘she should be farrowing soon. Didn’t Dirty Mary say a couple of weeks? She’s certainly big enough, lets hope there’s lots of piglets.’
‘Oh yes, I’d almost forgotten about her having babies. How will we know when it’s going to happen?’
‘Well, apparently she’ll start scraping up the straw and make a sort of nest for them. We’ll just have to keep a good watch out. Not that there’s much we can do about it, she’ll just get on with it.’
‘Wouldn’t it be great if she has them when mum and dad are here-and the kids.’
‘Would wouldn’t it - exciting life isn’t it, being farmers, I’m off then, see what’s happening.’
As Mike entered the barn Pinky grunted in anticipation at the scoop full of food she was about to receive. Mike placed to food into her trough and checked she had enough clean water to drink, then lit up a cigarette and leaned on the gate watching and looking for any signs of imminent birth. He peered at her back end with gynaecological interest, but all seemed normal – for a pig, and not really knowing what changes to expect anyway. She seemed calm enough and noisily chomped at her food, and Mike headed back to the house for his wash down in the kitchen.
‘It’s getting really rough out there, the wind is picking up, I think we’re in for a storm tonight. Anyway, nothing happening with Pinky, not that I can see anyway. She looks just the same to me. You can have a look at her tomorrow. You’re a woman; you know what to look for.’
‘Thanks for that, sweetheart, but I don’t anything about pigs.’
‘Ah well never mind we’ll sort it somehow. Pity we can’t get in touch with Keith, he’d know what to do,’ Mike said, as he ran the hot water into a large bowl ready for his de-sooting. ‘Cor, look, hot water - from a tap,’ Mike continued gleefully.
‘Simple things please simple minds,’ Jan joked, ‘I never thought we would be so excited about hot water from a tap. Just imagine how excited we’ll be when we have a real toilet again–and a bath. Anyway, the kids will be home soon better have your wash.’
Mike was already taking off his clothes and was soon standing in the kitchen stark naked.
‘How about a little cuddle with a handsome man?’ Mike grabbed Jan by the waist and kissed her.
‘We haven’t time for that. The kids will be here soon,’ but she didn’t pull away and returned a kiss.
They kissed again, she could see – and feel, his obvious excitement.
‘Later, big boy, and where is this handsome man you’re on about?’ She said, looking around the room as she spoke. This was one of those moments with which she could only rarely cope with, and joking one of her defences. It wasn’t a problem with her body, but her mind. She had to get in the mood for this. She gave another quick kiss as a consolation prize and pulled away. For Mike, it wasn’t a surprise. There had been very few occasions when spontaneous moves of this sort had ever led to anything. For him, daytime quickies, ‘table enders’, or stand up ‘knee tremblers,’ as he and his mates back in the lab called them, were incredibly thin on the ground. But, she had said, later. He gave Jan a little smile of understanding and got on with his kitchen ablutions.