I opened the door. “Did you forget so—”
Will pushed the door wider with one arm, maneuvering me up against the wall with the other, his bag dropping with a heavy thud to the floor. He cupped my neck in both hands, breathing heavily, his eyes darting all over my face.
“Come with me to the ESPN event next week.”
“What?”
“The ESPN event, come with me.”
“Will…I can’t do that.”
He nodded frantically. “Yes, you can. You have to go anyway, so just come as my date.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t…we’ve talked about this before.”
He shook his head, clearly frustrated I wasn’t giving him the answer he was looking for. “No one else has to know, but we’ll know. I’ll pick you up, the car can do separate drop offs, and I promise I’ll behave. We’ll leave early and go out for dinner someplace quiet, private.”
“Will…I…”
“Just say yes. We’ll figure the rest out later.” He bent his head to look at me.
“Please? I really don’t want to beg, but I will.”
I looked back at him, wanting everything this man was offering and more, yet so aware it was the wrong thing to do.
I sighed, hearing the words leave my mouth before I’d fully made up my mind. “All right. I’ll go.’”
His body went slack as he let out the breath he’d been holding and laughed. “Thank God. This could have been more awkward than before if you’d said no.”
I laughed too, nodding. “Yeah, that was kind of awkward.”
“I’m sorry.” His head bent to nuzzle my collarbone, his voice muffled. “I shouldn’t have left without kissing you.”
And then he did kiss me. His lips moved against mine, soft yet determined, coaxing my mouth open. I obliged, kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, unable to keep from grabbing hold of his hair, pulling him as close as possible. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking, causing my body to bow against his. I felt my legs sag, and then I was being held up by him, his arm around my waist, pulling me against his body. I sucked on his tongue, catching it between my teeth and eliciting a strangled moan.
He pulled back, his eyes closed, panting, and rested his forehead against mine.
“I have to go, I don’t want to, but…”
I nodded. “I know, I know, you should go.”
He kissed me again, this time inhaling deeply, as if he was committing our kiss to memory.
“We’ll talk about next week.”
I nodded, my entire knowledge of the Oxford English Dictionary seemingly vacating my brain.
He leaned in, placing one last kiss on my lips. “Totally worth the wait.” And with his trademark grin, dimples and all, he left for the second time.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Elation, cloud nine, pure joy. These were all words that could have described my mood the following week. Who knew that I would have such a reaction to one kiss? Julia had been right—spine tingling, toe curling kisses did exist, and they were dished out by none other than Will Jensen. A man who, at this point in time, was interested in giving his kisses to me.
In addition to that, things at work were fantastic following the success of the GCP. Mark had handed over some bigger projects for me to own now that he had confidence in my ability to manage them. And best of all, Dana was back, her father out of the woods and on the mend.
Will and the team had flown out of Florida to Arizona for a week of high altitude training, and were due back this afternoon in time for the annual partners welcome, a relaxed party where all the clients were given the opportunity to mingle with Warriors royalty; Will Jensen their king.
We had messaged a few times throughout the week, resulting in me developing a somewhat disturbing attachment to my phone.
He sent me a few texts about going to the ESPY’s, mostly to make sure I hadn’t chickened out I think, but my favorites were the random thoughts he would share, popping up at all hours of the day.
Will: Wrestling Buck at training today wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as it was with you.
Me: Maybe that’s because you’ve finally learned to pick on someone your own size.
Will: No, no, I don’t think that’s it. We might just be better wrestling buddies. Maybe we could wrestle again next week?
Me: Maybe. But you’ll need to be tied down or something…so it’s fair.
Will: That is absolutely, 100% fine with me. Am also open to being blindfolded.
Or just last night.
Do you think you could send me a photo of those cute pajamas of yours? I miss them.
To which I replied with a photo of them laid out on my bed.
Do you think you could send me one with them on?
I think that is absolutely out of the question, Will.
Really? But you wore them so well.
Still not going to happen.
Then maybe you could just send me a photo of you…without the pajamas?
Will! NO!
I was on cloud nine virtually round the clock, however every so often I’d be working away at my desk or standing on a subway platform daydreaming mildly inappropriate thoughts of Will, when a seed of doubt would creep in around the edges, causing a minor panic attack that would leave me short of breath, clammy from cold sweats. The fear that had halted me from going near Will in the first place was still an ever-present danger, only now it was hidden beneath the memories of our numerous interactions, the many times we had connected so easily. I knew my feelings for Will were overshadowing the very real issue of what would happen to me if we were found out.
Not unlike my father, in fact probably because of him, I had always felt a well-ingrained sense of responsibility, a need to do what was right for the whole, to be selfless in my decisions and put others first. And this thing with Will was the complete opposite of putting others first. In fact, I was pretty certain that not only would it ruin my integrity and quite possibly send me home early, it might very well jeopardize everything others around me had worked so hard to build. I had been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with the only caveat being that I represent the club well, and I was pretty certain this thing with Will wasn’t quite what they had in mind.
This knowledge was also coupled with reality, the understanding that even though I knew Will was a good guy, that he genuinely liked me and that he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, there was still a high likelihood that things would fizzle out, the initial attraction—from him anyway—would wane and he would soon be ready to move on. This, more than anything else, worse even than the fear of being found out by the club, was what could send a chill down my spine in the middle of a hot summer’s day.
To overcome these panic attacks I reasoned with myself in a way that only females can in these situations. I created a new, better version of reality. One where I was fine being the easy-going, carefree girl. If things with Will didn’t work out, I’d be
fine
, I’d have a New York love affair under my belt, a story to tell when I went home, and I’d be on my way. Besides, I told myself, I was moving back to the other side of the world in less than twelve months, a fun-filled secret love affair was exactly what I, a twenty-five-year-old independent woman, needed. Will would end our secret little fling with his trademark charm, we’d smile, share a few flirtatious parting words, and he would remember me as that great Aussie girl he’d spent some time with in the summer of 2014. Not the howling, heartbroken wreck rocking back and forth in the corner. Noooo, not her, she didn’t exist in my new reality.
So it was with this attitude that I headed to the bar in downtown Manhattan, in my new dress, bubbling with anticipation and excitement to see Will. I was a little late, and the party was well and truly underway. The deep timbers that lined the walls of the space gave it a distinctly earthy tone, setting off the black concrete of the bar. The music hummed a steady, deep beat, a constant pulse for the noisy crowd, almost like it was carrying everyone into the night as one.
Buck spotted me at the same time I did him, throwing his head back to howl, “Emmmmmmaaaaa! Come here my favorite little Aussie.” A smile broke across my face as I laughed at the giant linebacker I was beginning to think of as a friend.
He was standing at a table with a few of the guys from the team, some I knew, some I didn’t, and elbowed a couple aside to let me in.
“Boys, you remember Emma, our lady guest from
daown undah.”
I cringed at his attempt at an Australian accent.
Squeezed in around a table of players, I felt like a kitten trapped in a truckload of cattle. These men were truly huge up close. I was eye level with a bicep that was easily as wide as my head. The bicep in question leaned across me and punched Buck in the arm.
“Hey Bobbie, what the hell?” Buck leaned over me, getting all up in his grill…or something. I was just concentrating on not getting squashed.
“Dude. Is this
the
Emma?” His head twitched toward me as he attempted a terribly unsubtle
do you understand my secret message
look with his eyes.
Buck grinned, lifting his beer to his lips. “Yep, the one and only.”
Bobbie turned to me. “Girl, you and me, we needa talk.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Sounds serious.”
“Oh it is, it’s a matter of
Super
importance. If you catch my drift.”
I looked at him blankly, no clue what he was referring to.
“Super. As in Super Bowl.”
“Oh! Yes, I get it. Sorry.”
Bobbie shook his head in disgust while I made a mental note to add
Super
to my list of football lingo. He leaned in conspiratorially, draping his giant beast-like arm over my shoulders.
“Now, word on the street is you’ve been holdin’ out on my main man Jensen.”
“What?” My eyes shot to Bobbie’s in horror.
“Hey, now, calm down it’s not that bad.” He paused for dramatic effect. “
Yet
. But that man’s form is seriously unsteady. His head’s been here, there and everywhere the past month.” Bobbie put his beer down and moved to face me. “Ever. Since. You. Arrived.” He accented each word with a poke to my shoulder.
Somehow the words got through loud and clear, even as I felt the rush of blood to my head, sending piercing pain to my ears. Oblivious, Bobbie continued, clutching his stomach at the hilarity of it all. “You should’a seen him one mornin’ in the locker room, he was all ‘Back off, she’s mine, if anyone fucks the Aussie it’s gonna be me’ and shit.”
I shook my head, gaping at the giant in front of me. I’m surprised he heard my voice over the crowd. “He said that?”
“Yep. Hey, Buck.” I dodged another punch. “Doesn’t Jensen have a thing for this one?”
Buck grinned. “My man’s got it bad for you, little Aussie. But I think you already know that.”
I feigned a laugh, hopefully they were drunk enough for it to be plausible.
If anyone fucks the Aussie, it’s gonna be me.
I felt sick.
“Guys, it doesn’t matter either way. Nothing is going to happen—I
work
for the Warriors.”
Bobbie laughed again, his playful slap on my back sending champagne flying from my glass. “Emma, trust me, no one’s gonna judge you for going there.” One arm went back around my shoulder, the other waving through the air as he stared off at some imaginary vision. “Think of it as taking one for the team, if you will—your contribution to the Super Bowl. He just needs one night with you, get you outta his system and boom! His head’s back in the game. Trust me girl, I seen it before with him. It’s all he needs.”
He stood back, eyes wide waiting for a reaction to this
proposal
he seemed to think was so wonderful, but I was afraid if I tried to speak, the only thing to come out of my mouth would be my lunch.
When I didn’t say anything he frowned. “C’mon girl, it’s not like you don’t want to go there, every girl does.”
“Bobbie, give it a rest.” Buck’s hand smoothed across my back, the playful tone I’d come to associate with him gone.
“What? I’m just looking out for the team. That man needs to pull himself together.”
I felt Buck’s eyes on my face, but I couldn’t look at him. I thought I was going to vomit, the pounding of my heart rising like bile in my chest.
“Well just leave it. Jensen doesn’t need you opening your big mouth.”
Bobbie shrugged, gulping down a mouthful of beer. “Just sayin’ the last girl did it, didn’t seem like a big deal then.”
“WHAT?”
Bobbie pointed his bottle of beer at me. “The last girl, you know, the one you took over for.”
“As in Sarah?”
“Yeah, Sarah. That’s her name. They hooked up. One night, done. How it should be.” Bobbie wiped his hands together as if clearing the slate, oblivious that his words were like literal stabs to my chest.
“Oh Jesus,” Buck exhaled.
I stared at the enormous man in front of me, hating him with every fiber of my being. For his words, his utter ignorance of the impact they were having on me and his overall attitude toward the female race. Gulping down the rest of my champagne, it took all the constraint I had to place the glass calmly on the table, before I backed away.
I turned, squeezing through the crowd, desperate to get away but to where, I wasn’t sure. There was suddenly less air in the room than there had been before and gulping down a lungful of it didn’t seem to help any.
“Emma! Emma, wait.” Buck’s hand wrapped around my elbow turning me to face him.
“Let go of me.” I was about ten seconds away from bursting into tears, and I had no intention of doing it in the crowded bar.
“Shit. Don’t listen to Bobbie. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.” Buck’s hands were on his hips, his big body puffed up with awkwardness.
“Really? Because it sure sounded like he did.”