Licked (L.A. Liaisons Book 1) (17 page)

And it was wrong.
 

So wrong.
 

It wasn’t even his kiss, which under normal circumstances would be fucking amazing. My body screamed out, red warning flags flashing all around us that this wasn’t right.
Why? Why, why, why can I not have this?
 

When you’ve wanted someone for so long, it only made sense that it was for a good reason. It wasn’t supposed to be a big stop sign and Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” blaring through your mind. It was supposed to be passion and fireworks and the all-encompassing feeling of rightness. Instead, I felt…lips. And tongue. The physical act of kissing that had no impact on me whatsoever.
 

“Cameron…” I said as I pulled away.

He sighed and dropped his hands. “I know.”

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I just…can’t.”

He stared at me, his sky blue eyes searching mine. Then he looked away, and with another deep sigh he nodded. “I had a feeling this was coming.”

He did?
It wasn’t just me? Or maybe it was me, and I was losing my mind.
 

“You did?”

“I’m not a completely oblivious guy.”

“No, you’re amazing,” I said. “Perfect, really, but I just…” How the hell was I supposed to say,
You’re just not three inches shorter with brown fuck-me eyes and a magic tongue
?

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I know I don’t, but I want to.”

Cameron gave a small chuckle. “Look, Ryleigh, you’re incredible. Beautiful. Smart. The whole package. You don’t have anything to explain or apologize for.”

I groaned. “See, then you go and say something utterly perfect that makes me want to rip all your clothes off.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Okay, maybe more of like…a high five.”

With a laugh, he ran his hands up and down my arms. “You should find someone you want to do more than high-five with. In fact, I think maybe you already have.”

I froze.
Did he know? There’s no way he could know.

“I’m playing a hunch here,” he continued, “but I saw the way Hunter looked at you tonight when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. And the way you kept glancing at him too.”

“But that doesn’t—”

“Not to mention he was not himself at all. And he knew what you’d want to drink. He knew without even knowing you what you’d want your bar to look like.” He stopped and rubbed his jaw before shaking his head. “I can’t compete with that.”
 

“You don’t have to—”

“I know.” Cameron gave me a sad smile. “But I love that guy like my own brother, and I’ve seen the shit he’s gone through. If you’re the one he wants, I’d never stand in the way of that. Especially if I know it’s reciprocated.”

My heart was about to explode out of my chest. Was he
giving me permission
to date his best friend? Was this some kind of alternate universe? Had I eaten hallucinogens at dinner? But more to the point—how did he see all that when Hunter and I hadn’t?

I picked my jaw up off the sand, tears blurring my vision. “I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry. I’m the worst kind of person—”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am. I’m repulsive. Like Vegemite.”

“Hey, some of us like that stuff.” He brushed away a tear rolling down my cheek. Great, now he was comforting me?
I am an asshole. Grade-A major asshole.

“I need you to stop being so good about this,” I said, sniffling. “You’re supposed to be devastated. It’s killing my fragile ego.”

“Your ego? You just told me you want to give me a high five.”

A small chuckle escaped my lips as I wiped the rest of the wetness from my face. “Good point.”
 

We both looked down at the ground, unsure of what to say. Though part of me hated to let go of him, the relief I felt, like a weight off my shoulders, had eased. How could you want something so badly yet every part of your body screamed out against it?

“You know…I never told you this,” Cameron said quietly, “but I used to watch you.”

My head jerked up. “When?”

“At school. Every morning you came in through the east wing door. My homeroom and locker were right outside of it, and I couldn’t help but notice you as you passed. You didn’t look like anyone else. Which was a good thing, don’t think it wasn’t. But you were different, and it caught my eye. You lit up the halls when you walked through those doors. So pretty. So confident.”

Stunned. That was the only word that came to mind in that moment. “I didn’t know you’d ever noticed me,” I said in a small voice.

“I did.”

I swallowed and met his eyes. There was something akin to regret in them. But why?

“You sat at the same table during lunch period. Always with a drumstick ice cream cone, which makes sense now,” he said, with a hint of a smile. “But you seemed like a different girl during lunch than the one I saw walk in every morning. You smiled and talked with your friends, but whatever happened in the hours in between obviously wore on you.”

How did he see that? The insecurity I’d felt during that awkward stage in my life, the teasing and taunts, the dirty looks. No matter how much I’d moved on, I could still feel the seventeen-year-old Ryleigh inside me. The one who worried about what others thought of her. The one who secretly wanted so desperately to fit in but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. So I’d stopped trying then. And when graduation came, I’d suddenly felt free.
 

“School…wasn’t easy,” I said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“Yeah, it is.” When my brow creased, he continued, “I never talked to you. You think I didn’t know you existed, but I knew. And what did I do about it? I saw a beautiful girl struggling, and I heard what people said, but what did I do to help her? Nothing.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out. What could I say? That it didn’t matter? That he was wrong?

“Coward. I was a coward, Ryleigh.”

“No,” I said, crossing my arms tight over my chest. “You weren’t. That’s just how high school is for some people. Not everyone has a great experience.”

“But I wonder if… Well, what if—”

Holding up my hand, I said, “No point in what-ifs. Trust me on that one.”

“All I’m trying to say is, I wish I’d seen you. Really seen you. Because you deserve that. And if Hunter’s the guy who sees all of you…well, he deserves that too.”

The sting of tears behind my eyes again had me looking back down at my feet so he wouldn’t notice. Dammit, I wasn’t going to be a complete crybaby, but his words eased the vulnerable teenager that still cared what others thought of her.
 

“Thank you, Cameron,” I whispered. “That means a lot.” He gave me a sad smile, and dammit, a traitorous tear escaped down my cheek. Wiping it away, I sniffed and said, “Can I high-five you now?”

CAMERON DROVE US back in relative silence except for the radio playing low in the background and the occasional small talk I knew he was making to help me feel better about the situation. I wondered if I’d see him again, or if he’d want to see me. Maybe he’d come in the shop and order the Heartbreak Special that I was currently piecing ingredients together for in his honor.
 

After he kissed me goodbye on the cheek, I got out of Cameron’s car and, feeling dejected, decided to grab some comfort ice cream downstairs before heading to my apartment. I unlocked the door and turned back to wave. He nodded at me, and, after a moment, drove away. Watching his car fade into the distance, I felt two things—the first being disheartened that I’d been so close to getting what I wanted and had sabotaged everything. Cameron was perfect. So damn perfect. Which led to the second thing I was feeling—relief. Because he clearly wasn’t what my mind, heart, or body wanted. And wasn’t that just a kick in the pants.
 

With a sigh, I entered the shop, and as I turned to close and lock the door, a hand shot out and held it open. I jumped in shock as, without a word, Hunter slid inside and stood toe to toe with me. His eyes were intense on mine as he took the key out of my hand, turned, and locked the door.

I WAS STILL so shocked to see him that I couldn’t process what he’d just done. Then he tossed my key on the counter and began to circle me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine.
 

“What are you doing here, Hunter?” I asked, forcing the words out. I could barely breathe; just having him there in front of me, his jaw tight, was enough to suck all the air from the room.
 

He’d unbuttoned the top of his shirt, and it looked like he’d dragged his hand through his hair more than a few times. The effect was so damn hot that my heart beat a faster rhythm in my chest. When he didn’t answer, I tried again, my voice coming out in a whisper this time. “Why are you here?”

He stopped circling me then.

“You can’t be with him.” Unlike mine, his tone was strong, demanding. Unyielding.
 

Lifting my chin at his words, I said, “What makes you think you have any right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

“I mean it,” he said, walking toward me, and I found myself backing away from his approach. “He’s not right for you.”

That lit a fire within me. It made me crazy that he seemed to know what I wanted before even I knew. Even if he
did
happen to be right, I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Yet.
 

“Why? Because you know everything about me? Just like you know what I drink and what kind of furniture I like. Does that make
you
right for me?” I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. It was hysterical, undone laughter, but it was also desperate. I didn’t want to acknowledge the truth of that statement so easily, not when I wasn’t sure what his intentions were. Instead, I lobbed a grenade in his direction. “What happened to Cassidy? I’m sure she was hoping for a nightcap. She was certainly dressed for it.”

“I don’t give a fuck about what she wants.”

“It didn’t seem that way to me.”

He stopped advancing and narrowed his eyes at me. “We both know that’s not true.”

Crossing my arms across my chest, I said, “It’s not my business what you do. Or don’t do.”

“Isn’t it? You want me to walk out that door and go back to her place?”

Hell no.
“If that’s what you want.”

“Fuck that.”

I shivered, even though I didn’t feel cold in the slightest. The opposite, actually. “It’s late. You should go.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked, moving toward me again until I could feel his body brush up against mine. “You want me to leave?”

But I hesitated, so even when I whispered, “Yes,” my body betrayed me.
 

One of his hands went to my waist as the other cupped my neck. “Why aren’t you with Cameron tonight?”

I should’ve pulled away and put up more of a fight. I didn’t want to melt like butter in this man’s arms, to let him know I was his for the taking. But the words tumbled out of my mouth anyway. “It’s over.”

Hunter went still. “Say that again.”

“It’s over with Cameron. We ended things toni—” I didn’t even get the words out before his mouth was on mine, his kiss burning with possession. The passion I’d felt when I’d tasted him before was back, setting my body on fire as he backed me against the wall. His body pressed firmly against mine, his erection growing hard against my stomach as we devoured each other, our tongues tangling in a sensuous dance, and his hand gripping the back of my neck. My hands threaded through his hair, pulling him closer, but even that wasn’t close enough. As if he’d read my mind, he hitched one of my legs around his waist, his hand traveling underneath the dress to grab my ass. Then he stepped closer, rubbing his hard length between my thighs.
 

I moaned into his mouth, and that only encouraged him to grind against me again.
 

“Oh my God,” I said on a breath as his lips found my neck.
Yes.
This…this was how it felt when it was right. Tightening my leg around his waist, I circled my hips and let my head fall back against the wall. I wanted the feel of his fingers inside me, needed the explosion I knew would happen when he touched me.