Lies Beneath the Surface (Buried Secrets #2) (39 page)

After
the pain eases, I check in on Heidi Jo before making my way out to the porch swing. Colton stops the swing for me to sit down, then lightly presses his feet against the porch, swaying the swing in a lazy movement. He gives me a half smirk, tucking me under his arm. He’s distant tonight and I see a storm brewing in his eyes. He’s stewing over something, but I know it’s pointless to ask what’s bothering him because he doesn’t talk about things. He bottles it all up, then when he’s wound too tight, his cap blows and his anger errupts like
Mentos
in
Coke
.

The late
summer days turn cool as the sun fades into night. Lightnin’ bugs glow against the dark sky and the only white noise around us is the crickets chirping. It’s peaceful. I hug myself a little tighter as goose bumps blanket my skin from the cool breeze. Colton notices and pulls me up in his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me. “Cold, darlin’?” He asks kissing my forehead. I smile against his chest and my eyes drift closed as I breathe him in.

Nights like this are perfect.
Life gets busy and hectic and we often forget to take a minute to just breathe and enjoy the moment. Our lives are quickly changing as we’re about to welcome the newest addition to our family. I’d like to say that I’m prepared to become a momma, but I don’t think it’s something you can prepare for. You just have to jump in with both feet and take each day as a blessing that God gives you. I’m not doubtful, however, because I have faith in our family and I know that we’ll do everything hand in hand and smile through the darkness and the light.

Tossing the b
lanket back I sit up on the side of the bed slowly, huffing in frustration. I’ve tossed and turned all night long unable to get comfortable because my lower back is so heavy with throbbing pain. Colton has to get up for work in a few hours, and I don’t want to wake him up, so I decide to go into the living room to read until I fall asleep. Reading makes me really sleepy. I grab my Kindle from the dresser and pad into the living room pulling the door closed slowly, hoping it doesn’t creak and wake him up. Walking towards the couch, pain clutches my stomach and I dig my nails into the arm of Colton’s recliner as I moan out in miserable pain. I pull in a slow ragged breath and twist my body around to sit down. I lay the recliner back and inhale deep trying to steady my breathing. The pain in my back intensifies as my stomach tightens again, but this time the pain is so intense that my vision blurs.

“COLTON!” I shriek. My chest heaves
roughly and pressure builds low in my stomach. This is very different than Braxton Hicks. This is frickin’ labor. “COLTON!” I shriek again. The bedroom door swings open and his eyes pinch together as they adjust to the light.

“Damn it, darlin’, what’s wrong?”

“I-I think I’m in la-la-aabor!” I cry out gripping the chair so tightly that my nails rip the cushion.

“SHIT!” Colton yells. He runs in
to the bedroom then back into the living room putting his shoes on before running outside.
What the hell is he doing, running a mother lovin’ marathon?
He jogs back inside the house and picks me up in his arms, carrying me out to the Tahoe. Emma comes running across the driveway as Colton jumps in the SUV and drops the gear into DRIVE. The drive to the hospital passes in a blur. The contractions come so fast, so fierce that I nearly black out. The pain is just too intense. The only thing that keeps me holding on is hearing Colton’s voice telling me to breathe through the pain and reminding me that he loves me.

We arrive
at the hospital in under ten minutes and Colton carries me through the double doors, setting me in a wheel chair. He wheels right past the receptionist, his pace quickening with each step as we make our way to the labor and delivery department.

“Ya n
eed to call Dr. Staton, my wife’s in labor.” Colton yells slamming his hand down on the nurses’ station.

“
Okay, let’s get her to a room and examined.” The nurse says to Colton. Colton follows on her heels closely. “She’ll need to change into a gown so we can examine her.” The nurse says tossing a stiff cotton gown on the bed.

“Damn it, woman, s
he’s in labor. Can’t you tell she’s in pain? Call her damn doctor already. We ain’t got time for your shit.”

“Sir, I’m sorry but it’s procedure. She ain’t the first woman to have a baby. She’ll be fine. Now, calm down,
and help her into the gown while I go pull her chart.” She steps around an infuriated Colton, leaving the room.

“Darlin’, let me help you up. Can you stand?” I nod
, my breathing shaky and erratic. He helps me remove my clothes before wrapping the stiff gown around me then helps me lay down in the bed. The contractions are slowing down, but the pressure in my belly is still present, becoming more intense by the minute.

The nurse returns a few minutes later with another nurse in tow.
They introduce themselves as Amy and Heather. Amy, the hateful nurse connects the fetal monitor to my stomach, then checks my vitals while the other nurse enters all of my information into the computer, asking Colton a shit ton of questions. He keeps our hands locked together, prepared for the moment another contraction hits. Glancing over at me he smirks a cocky grin and winks trying to settle my tattered nerves. His chocolate brown eyes are softer than usual and I can feel his hand tremble in mine.

Suddenly, a cool sensation spreads against my thighs
. Looking down at my gown, my eyes widen as I grip Colton’s hand harder, nearly tugging him across the bed. “Uhm, either I just pissed the bed or my water broke.” I announce. Colton’s mouth drops as he stares down at my lap completely stunned. Ms. Bitchy Pants nurse pops the stirrups up in place, then snaps a pair of gloves over her hands. She gently places my legs in the stirrups and positions herself between my thighs. Ya know, this is the most demeaning moment for a woman. Just the thought of anyone other than Colton down there poking around is a bit unnerving. I bite down on my lip and close my eyes as she exams me. She’s swift with her exam announcing that I’m effaced and dilated to five. FIVE. Uhm, I don’t know what the hell that means, but I’m pretty sure the baby is about to make her debut. She strips the gloves from her hands and leaves the room.

Colton hovers over me and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. The fear that flashes though his eyes causes my heart to falter. “It’s gonna be alright, darlin’.
Won’t be long and we’ll get to meet our precious daughter.” I smile weakly, completely unable to speak as my breath hitches in my throat, another contraction attacking my stomach. I lurch forward, wrapping my arms around my stomach instinctively as I wail out a thunderous sob. “Darlin’, you gotta breathe. Slow deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. You gotta concentrate on me, Carly Jo, do you understand?” Colton asks gripping my face in his hands. I nod my head quickly as the tears begin to fall. I keep his gaze, concentrating on his eyes as I try to steady my breathing. The contractions begin to come closer in rolling waves crashing into each other. The pain is so intense that my throat is hoarse from screaming.

Dr. Staton walks in
the room dressed in blue scrubs and her blonde hair hidden under a scrub cap. “Did you miss me so soon?” She kids as she puts on a pair of gloves. She sits on the stool, rolling herself between my thighs to check me. She presses her hand against my belly and the concerned look on her face stills my tears almost instantly. “How long have you been having contractions?”

“I had a few Braxton Hicks late yesterday evening. I tossed and turned most of the night because my back was hurting
so bad, so I got up around twelve thirty to get on the couch and that’s when I felt the first really intense contraction.”

She pulls the gloves off, tossing them in the trash can and steps t
owards the fetal heart monitor. “Carly, the baby is breech and seems to be in distress. Her heart rate is lower than I’m comfortable with.” My world stands still. Terror surges through me and I can’t even will myself to speak.

“What’s that mean?” Colton yells.

“We’re gonna have to prep Carly for a cesarean section. It’s the safest way to deliver the baby.”

“Surgery? There’s nothing else you can do
? I don’t want her bein’ cut on. It’s too dangerous.”

“Colton, I promise you if there was an alternative, I’d do it in a heartbeat. The safest way to bring your daughter into this world is by c-section. I’ll get an OR prepp
ed now and we’ll be back to take Carly down within thirty minutes.”

“Can I
be there with her?” Colton begs and the tremble in his voice causes my heart to crack.

“
You should be able to. I’ll be back shortly. Just try to keep Carly calm in the meantime.”

Everything after that moves in a blur. Nurses rush in and out of the room, checking my vitals, checking the fetal
heart monitor, drawing my blood, and inserting an IV. They each pay no mind to the excruciating pain that I’m experiencing, but then again I’m not the first woman to give birth, or so I’m told. Colton keeps his hands wrapped around mine and his chest rattles with frustrated grumbles. He’s torn, scared and so worried; his emotions mirroring mine. Two nurses walk into the room and introduce themselves to Colton. By this point, I’m beyond exhausted from fighting relentlessly through hours of contractions, so I don’t register their names.

“We’ll take Mrs. Weston down to the OR and prep
her for the procedure. Once you’ve been scrubbed in and we’re ready to begin, we’ll bring you into the room to be with your wife.” Colton nods, stepping out of their way. They unlock the brakes on the bed and spin the bed towards the door. Colton keeps up with their pace, stepping to the side of the bed he grips my hand in his as they rush me down to the operating room. Down two floors the elevator doors open and after swiping a card they wheel the bed through a set of double doors. “Sir, you can go with Jayla. She’ll get you scrubbed in.

Colton presses his forehead to mine, kissing my lips gently.
“Darlin, I love you. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise ya, baby. I’ll be right there, darlin’. Please don’t be scared.” He promises, his eyes glazed with unshed tears.

“I love you too, baby.”
I whisper, wiping the tears from my face. He releases me from his grip, wiping a tear from his eyes as he watches them roll me into the operating room. Anxiety builds up in my chest and I can’t control the sobs as tears flood over my lids. Biting down on my lip, I silently pray to God to please let my baby be okay.

The nurses wheel me into a bright white operating
room, placing my bed next to the operating table. It looks cold, sterile and unwelcoming. Counting in sync to three, they hoist me up in the air by the sheets on my bed, placing me on the operating table. They wish me good luck, before exiting the room and two other people step in their place. They explain the epidural procedure before sitting me up on the side of the bed. A cool sensation tingles my back and my leg jerks. Suddenly, the pressure that has been present in my abdomen before was delicate in comparison to the gut ripping pain that tears through my stomach. Wailing out in pain my chest trembles as white spots float through my blurred vision. “She’s bleeding vaginally!” A nurse yells across the operating room. “I can’t get the epidural in. We don’t have time to waste. Prep her for general anesthesia.”

A nur
se lays me back against the bed as two others surround me and begin to place my arms out at my sides.
What the hell?
“Sweetie, we can’t get the epidural into the epidural space. In order to deliver the baby safely, we need to give you a general anesthetic. Do you verbally consent?”

I nod my head.

“I need to hear it, sweets.” She urges.

“Y-yes.” I say.

A nurse appears behind me and kindly introduces herself. “Can ya count backwards for me from one hundred?” I nod my head as my breath hiccups in my throat. She places a mask over my face as I begin to count.

“One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-,”

I watch as they wheel Carly Jo
away, my feet cemented to the floor unable to move. There goes my life. The nurse ushers me through a hallway into a cold, sterile room with royal tile walls. She hands me a set of scrubs and once I change, she shows me how to scrub in and I copycat her actions. Leavin’ the sterile room, the nurse asks me to wait in the hallway while she checks to see if they’re ready for me to join Carly Jo in the operating room. I wait, and I wait, my patience quickly wearin’ thin.

A nurse steps out of
the room and introduces himself upon approachin’ me. He asks me to follow him and I do. We pass back through the same double doors we entered when we got to this floor, which confuses the hell outta me.
Why the hell are we goin’ away from the operatin’ room? Carly Jo needs me.
Walkin’ into a small room he asks me to sit, but I refuse. A sense of forebodin’ clutches me and I know whatever this asshole needs to say ain’t gonna be too good. He explains that they couldn’t properly place the epidural, so they gave Carly Jo a general anesthetic for the c-section to be performed. I listen intently to every word that crosses his lips, noddin’ my head in agreement. It’s takin’ every damn ounce of will I’ve got to not fall apart in front of him. He tells me that someone will let me know how Carly Jo and the baby are doing shortly and to try to be patient until then. Kindly offerin’ me a blessin’, he vanishes through the sterile hall.

My wife is
in surgery, bringin’ our daughter into the world and here I am, thousands of feet away from her when she needs my strength the most. I won’t get to experience the first breath my little girl inhales or hear her first cry. And ya know what, there ain’t a damn thing I can ‘bout it.

Completely
helpless.

Anger floods through me as I flex
my hands into fists at my sides and my chest shakes with a rattlin' growl. My knees give in and I drop to the floor poundin’ my fists against the cold tile floors, releasin’ the fury and anguish that floods through me. My broken sobs echo against the walls. I need a savin’ grace, just a sliver of hope that my girls will be okay. Once again I succumb to my weakness, whisperin’ a prayer to the good Lord to wrap a blanket of protection around my beautiful wife and my precious baby girl. A humblin’ moment, speakin’ to the Lord. I can’t help but feel regret for seekin’ him in times like this when I’m far from a Godly man.

A ha
nd clutches my shoulder and I jump in reaction, shock surely set in my face. Wipin’ my face with the back of my hand, Luke don’t even ask, he simply pulls me into a hug. Usually, I’d smack him upside the back of his damn head, but stupid bastard has a way of seein’ when someone needs him most. Right now I need all of the strength I can get. I pat his back and tear away from his hold, takin’ a seat to ease my tremblin’ knees. Scrubbin’ my hand roughly over my face, I rest my head against the wall, starin’ blankly up at the ceilin’. Luke sits down, bracin’ his elbows on his knees and sighs. Together, we sit in silence and wait for what feels like an eternity.

Ya always think th
e worst possible scenarios in times like this. Thinkin’ back to the night I became a Daddy, countin’ Heidi Jo’s ten tiny fingers and toes was the happiest moment in my life. It was bittersweet, welcomin’ my little princess into the world and sayin’ goodbye to the woman who gave me one of the greatest gifts I’d ever receive. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without Heidi Jo and even though our little monkey hasn’t even entered this world yet, I know my soul would die if anything were to happen to her or her momma. Bouncin’ up to my feet, I begin to pace the floor impatiently. Luke checks his watch repeatedly, his jaw tickin’ in frustration. He’s as worried about Carly Jo and the baby as I am. I texted him when we first arrived at the hospital lettin’ him know she was in labor and I’d keep him updated.

“How’d you know?”
I ask him, referrin’ to Carly Jo bein’ takin’ into surgery.

“Just had a bad feelin’
, man.” He replies shakin’ his head. I don’t understand Luke’s gift, but he always knows when he’s needed. Tonight, it wasn’t Carly Jo that needed him, but me. “She’s gonna be alright, Weston.”

“Ain’t never prayed so much in my damn life, Luke.”
Tears burn the back of my eyes and a blaze of heat blankets my face. I feel like a damn fish outta water, suffocatin’ for air. I need Carly Jo to breathe; and I promise you I ain’t breathed not one damn breath since they took her away.

“Mr. Weston?” A small voice calls from the doorway.

Turnin’ around quickly, I glare at the small woman through wide eyes. “Yes ma’am?” My throat tightens.

“
Honey, you’re wife made it through the c-section wonderfully. She’s in recovery now and will be moved up to a room within the hour.”

“They’re okay?”

“Yes, honey. Would you like to meet your daughter?”

I collapse into the chair, rakin’ my hands through my hair. Relief washes over me and I silently whisper a prayer of gratitude to the good Lord.
“Please.” My voice cracks as I choke on a broken sob. She smiles brightly, waving me towards her. I follow the nurse to the elevator and up four floors to the Maternity ward where she shows me to a patient room. She asks me to scrub my hands up to my elbows before turnin’ on her heels to go after my daughter. When the door creaks open I stand to my feet and meet the nurse in the center of the room.

My heart stills.

I lift her out of the bassinette, restin’ her against my chest as I carry her to the rockin’ chair. Cradlin’ her in my hands, I pull the blanket back to count her ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Coal black hair curlin’ around her little ears just like Heidi Jo’s hair curled. I trail my finger down her rosy cheek and a small sigh falls from her thick lips. She looks just like her momma. She is perfection. That breath I’d been holdin’ all this time finally worked its way up out of my chest and I breathe for the first time tonight. I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love Heidi Jo, but I can promise you I love this little girl just as much. My heart is consumed with so much happiness, so much pride it could split in two right this damn second and I’m sure it’d still be left beatin’.

“Is she your first child?”

“No ma’am, but she’s just as beautiful as her big sister.”

“Congratulations, honey. You have a beautiful little family.”

“Yes ma’am, I sure do.”

“Your wife should be brought in soon, she just woke up in recovery. Good luck.” She waves as she leaves the room.

I wrap my little monkey up tight in the receivin’ blanket and cradle her to my chest, hummin’ softly. Her back rises and falls with each breath she takes as she sleeps peacefully. It’s amazin’ the amount of beauty somethin’ so small and tender can hold. The amount of love that somethin’ so small can withdrawal from another. One look is all it took for me to fall completely head over heels in love with my daughter, just as I fell in love with her momma so many years ago.

There are no words to express seeing
my daughter for the first time. She is nestled on top of Colton’s chest, with his hand laid gently on her back, both of them sleeping. I want to hold her so bad, touch her sweet little face and count her fingers and toes. I want to smell her sweet scent and feel the softness of her hair against my fingertips. I want to see the happiness in Colton’s eyes as he looks down at our baby girl. I may not have got to witness her first breath or hear her first cry but this moment is one I wouldn’t trade for any moment in my life.

A small whimper falls from her lips and her face puckers, turning bright red. Colton pats her back softly and shushes
her. With his eyes still closed he whispers, “shhh, Daddy’s got ya little monkey.” Her face softens and she stretches her tiny arm up, laying it against Colton’s cheek.

I melt.

I sniffle quietly, but Colton’s eyes catch mine watching him and he smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever see on his face. “Hello, darlin’.” He whispers. “I’m so happy to see those beautiful hazel eyes.” He exchanges seats from the rocking chair to the side of the bed then lays Rylee down in my arms. Without a second thought my tears break free. He wraps his arm around me and kisses my forehead before drying my tears with his calloused thumbs.

“She’s absolutely breathtaking, Colton. I never knew I’d love someone as much as I love her.”

“She looks just like her Momma, darlin’.”

Kissing the top of her head, I inhale and smile. She
smells like flowers blowing through the wind and her hair is soft and silky. Trailing my finger down the side of her plump cheek, I gaze at her beauty in complete wonderment. Only something so perfect can be heaven sent. I count her toes, then her fingers. Rubbing tiny circles across her palm, she clutches on to my finger and I kiss the top of her little hand. Resting her hand against her chest, my eye catches the bracelet on her wrist.

Baby Girl Weston

September 3, 2014

3:30
AM

“Some birthday present, huh?”
I ask, looking up at Colton through tear soaked lashes. He tilts his head, looking at me in confusion. I kiss his cheek then turn the bracelet around on Rylee’s wrist for him to read. He smirks, rubbing the tears from his eyes. “Happy Birthday, baby.”

“
I just knew that little baby would decide to come when I’d be asleep. Now I missed it all.” Heidi Jo pouts.

“Would you have preferred I woke you up, baby girl?”

“Heck no, old man. A girl needs her beauty sleep. That’s why that little baby sleeps so much. She’s gotta catch up to me, ya know.”

“
Your little sister’s name is Rylee Jordyn Weston. Not little baby, Heidi Jo Weston.” Colton points out, calling Heidi Jo by her full name for emphasis. Her eyes grow wide, then she crinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out at Colton. He laughs, ruffling her hair.

“Well, she’s a pretty little scutter, I guess.” Heidi Jo shrugs her shoulders as she takes a bite of cake. The day has been full of commotion with everyone and their bro
ther stopping by to meet Rylee. Emma and Bill left just a bit ago, right before the real party started.

Savannah
and Luke refused to let the celebration of Colton’s birthday go short lived. They’ve been here most of the day, but left for a short while to take the kids for lunch. They returned with cake, ice cream and a huge bouquet of balloons. Everyone sang Happy Birthday as Colton held Rylee in his arms, smiling down at her with so much love in his eyes. He hasn’t stopped smiling all day, although his eyes are heavy and sleep laden.