Life Unaware (Entangled Teen) (20 page)

She sighed. “Just think about it. In the meantime, I’m going to Fandango these tickets. Payton, why don’t you call your mom and make sure it’s okay first.”

“Sure,” she said. “I left my cell phone out in my car. Can I use your phone?”

“Right this way.” Mom ushered her out of the room.

Alone, I let out a long sigh. Despite how fun Payton and my mom thought more public humiliation would be, there was no way I was going to that dance. Besides, with the mountain of homework I’d accumulated in my absence, I wasn’t going to be doing much of anything if I wanted to get caught up with the rest of my class.

I climbed out of bed and crossed the room to my backpack. It wouldn’t hurt to look over my assignments so I had a better idea of what I needed to get done. I unzipped it and dumped the contents onto my desk. Five textbooks and several sheets of paper tumbled out. I was stacking the books and papers by class subject when I noticed the corner of a purple envelope sticking out of the pages of my contemporary lit textbook.

Invisible fingers squeezed my heart. I knew without looking at it the letter was from Nolan. I slid it free from the book. The word “Regan” was scrawled across the front in sloppy handwriting. I stared at the envelope for more than a minute, trying to think of anything Nolan would be able to say to make me want to see or talk to him ever again.

There was nothing.

I tossed the unopened envelope into the trash can beside my desk. What would be the point of reading it? The letter, just like the school dance, was only another opportunity to cause myself unnecessary pain, and I’d had enough pain to last me a lifetime.

Chapter Twenty-Two

All across the city, girls were applying one last coat of lipstick, shimmying into sequined dresses, and buckling the straps on their heels. But not me. With zero makeup, I’d slipped on a pair of riding breeches and an extra-soft T-shirt, and now stood in the kitchen looping the elastic bands of my half chaps under the heels of my boots. I had a date with a handsome boy of the equine persuasion.

Mom appeared in the kitchen doorway. Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you dressed like that?”

I grabbed my helmet off the kitchen table. “Because it’s been more than a week since I spent time with Rookie. And after all the popcorn and candy we ate at the movies last night, I figured a little exercise couldn’t hurt.”

Mom nodded. “We did eat an entire year’s worth of carbs. Still, we have plenty of time to hit the gym before next November’s election.”

I made a face. While I appreciated the effort my mom was making with me, it was reassuring in a bizarre sort of way to know my old mom hadn’t completely vanished.

Dad entered the room wearing a suit. “There are the two most beautiful women in the world.” He handed a blue silk tie to my mother. “Would you please do the honors?”

I watched as her nimble fingers folded and tucked the swatch of silk into a perfect Windsor knot. It never ceased to amaze me how she got it right on the first try without ever having to loosen and adjust the length. When she finished, he kissed her cheek and tucked the tie inside his jacket.

I’d never tied a tie for anyone and wondered if I could duplicate my mom’s movements from memory. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine re-creating the movement of my mom’s hands.
Wrap. Flip. Tuck.
But in my fantasy, when I stepped back to admire my handiwork, it was Nolan’s face smiling down at me.

Ugh.

I opened my eyes and shook my head, hoping to loosen the image from my head. “Where are you guys going?”

Dad sighed. “Another boring political dinner.”

Mom elbowed him in the ribs.

“Excuse me.” Dad rubbed his side. “I
meant
to say another action-packed political dinner.”

“That’s better.” Mom glanced at the microwave’s digital clock. “And we better get going if we don’t want to be late.” She turned to me. “You know, Regan, you still have time to get ready for the Snowflake Ball if you change your mind.”

I fought the urge to snort. Mom had made such an effort to improve our relationship over the last week, I didn’t want to fall back into old habits. “I won’t change my mind. I called Payton this morning and told her the same thing.” I lifted my helmet. “There’s only one guy I’m going to dance with tonight, and he weighs fifteen hundred pounds.”

“Smart girl.” Dad winked. “If you keep choosing horses over boys until you’re, say, thirty-five, I’d be a happy man.”

“Dad.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes.

Mom swatted him with her purse. “Come on, Steven. We need to leave.”

He walked over and squeezed me against him. His cologne tickled my nose—something spicy and warm. “I’m really proud of you.” He pulled away and took Mom’s hand. Together, they left through the kitchen door into the garage.

I stared at the closed door for several moments wondering what he meant.
Proud of me?
Why?
All I’d done over the last few weeks—actually, more like the last couple of years—was screw things up.

I tucked my helmet under my arm and snatched my keys from the table. Maybe he was just being Dad—saying what he thought would make me feel better. Unfortunately, it hadn’t worked—nothing seemed to work, which was exactly why I needed horse therapy. I started for the garage door when the front doorbell rang.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I murmured. I set my helmet and keys back down and made my way to the front door. “Payton,” I called out, “it better not be you trying to convince me to come to the dance. I already told you I’m not going.”

I stopped in front of the door. A shadow shifted on the other side of the frosted glass. “And you better not be a psycho,” I added. “My parents are Republicans. We own guns. Lots of them.” I cracked open the door and Nolan raised an arm in greeting. He wore jeans, a suit jacket, and a dark shirt underneath. His hair was combed back and gelled into place. He held a suspicious box, the perfect size for a corsage.

“No.” I swung the door back in his face. Looked like I was right about the psycho.

Nolan stuck his shoe in the doorjamb before it had a chance to shut. He winced when the door met his foot and it bounced back, opening wide. “Is that what you’re wearing to the dance?” He motioned to my riding breeches. “I like it. You get definite points for being original.”

He really must be insane if he’d shown up thinking I was going to the dance with him. I folded my arms across my chest. “No. Whatever you’re doing here, just
no
.”

He cocked his head. “You know what I’m doing here. It’s the Snowflake Ball and you agreed to go with me.”

“Like hell I did.” I practically spit the words at him.

“Uh,
yeah.
You did.” He thrust the small cardboard box at me. “For you.”

I pushed it away. “I don’t want your box. And I never agreed to anything.”

He grinned. “Of course you did. It was all in the letter I sent you last night—the one you
obviously
read. In the letter I clearly stated if you didn’t want to go to the dance with me, you could either call or text to let me know. Since I didn’t hear from you, I knew you accepted my invitation.”

Anger burned through my veins and I fought the urge to slam my head against the door. I should have known Nolan would try to use a trick as a dance invitation. Deception was a favorite ploy of his. If only I’d read the damned purple envelope. “That’s not—”

“I’m going to assume you’re ready to go,” he cut me off. “You look beautiful.” He gestured to the door. “Shall we?”

To my annoyance, a blush burned up my cheeks.
Get it together, Regan. What do you care what Nolan Letner thinks?
“I’m only going to tell you one more time because you’re obviously having trouble understanding. I am not going anywhere with you. End of story.”

“What if I told you I had a limo?”

I looked behind him, and sure enough, a black stretch limo waited in the driveway. I shrugged. “I’d tell you you’re going to have a lot of room to stretch out inside that limo all by yourself.”

“I’m not by myself.” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “Payton’s with me.”

As if on cue, Payton emerged from the sunroof wearing a purple strapless dress. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a mass of curls and rhinestone hair clips. She waved. “Are you ready to go?”

Pressure throbbed beneath my temples. How was it Nolan had been here less than five minutes and I already had a headache brewing? I turned back to him and exhaled loudly. “You could have both Hemsworth brothers inside that limo and I still wouldn’t get in. I’m not going. Now please
leave
.”

He grabbed my hand before I could reach for the door. I recoiled from his touch as if it’d burned me. His shoulders drooped and the humor left his face. “Regan, I…” He swallowed. “No. This isn’t about me. Let me start over.”

I folded my arms, waiting.

“I think you’re amazing,” he said. “What I did to you was unforgivable.”

“Yes it was.” I grabbed the door and tried to push it closed. “Good-bye.”

He stopped the door with his hand. “Please. Let me finish.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I started
Life Unaware
with Blake because I wanted justice for Jordan. But somehow justice became confused with revenge. By the time I figured that out and decided to scrap the entire project, the damage was done. If I could, I would take back all of the pain I caused you, every ounce of it, even if it meant you and I never got together.” He lifted a hand as if he might touch my face. Instead, his fingers hovered in the air so close to my cheek I could feel the heat radiate off his skin.

A lump formed in my throat and I fought the urge to close the distance between us. I hated myself then, the weakness inside me that, despite his betrayal, still longed for his touch.

Luckily, Nolan dropped his hand, and my coiled muscles unwound. “And that’s saying something,” he said as he curled his fingers into fists. “After Jordan—you know—I thought I’d never be happy again. But you came along and…God.” He shook his head. “I knew I should have told you from the beginning, but Regan, I was scared shitless I was going to lose you, and I was desperate not to let that happen. Now that I
have
lost you, it’s every bit the hell I imagined it would be.”

My chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. I wanted to believe him, to fall into his arms like I had when Amber was talking shit about me in the bathroom. Only now, he was the one who’d hurt me and there was nowhere to run. “Nolan, please go.” I spoke softly to keep my voice from cracking. “And take your bullshit with you.”

He nodded as if he’d expected me to say as much. “Okay. I will. But I want you to know our project is being unveiled tonight at the Snowflake Ball.”

“
Your
project,” I said.

“
Ours.
It was your idea. I just implemented it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Doesn’t matter.”

His head jerked up. “It does. This project is amazing. It’s changed the entire school. Once other schools get wind of it, it might change theirs, too. Your mom arranged for the media to be there tonight for the unveiling. I thought you should be there to get the credit you deserve.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.

“Even if it means I’m not.”

I blinked at him. “
What
?”

He gestured to the limo. “It’s yours. Well, yours and Payton’s. The driver has already been paid. I can walk home from here, and I promise I won’t go to the dance. I want you to be there—to see the amazing thing you created. Stay for five minutes or stay for the whole night—it’s up to you. Just go and see what you started.” He gave me a sad smile. “You won’t be disappointed.”

“Are you coming?” Payton called from the limo.

I chewed on my lip. I really had no desire to hang out at the dance, but I couldn’t deny the curiosity welling inside me over Nolan’s secret project—especially since it was
supposedly
my idea. And if Nolan wasn’t going to be there, that only made me want to go more. “I can really leave anytime I want?”

“Anytime.” He nodded.

“So I could basically walk in and walk right back out?”

He shrugged. “It’s your limo now. You do what you want.”

I folded my arms. “I’m not going to put on a dress.”

“Fine with me. You look hot no matter what you wear.”

I glared at him and he raised his hands in defense. “I’m never going to be anything but honest with you ever again.”

I glanced over his shoulder at Payton who waved me over. “Hurry. We’re going to be late.”

I pushed my shoulders back and sucked in a breath. “Fine. I’ll go. But just long enough to see what this secret project has been about, and then I’m out.”

“Then you’ll need this.” He held out the box.

“I told you I’m not getting dressed up. The last thing I want is a corsage.”

“You’ll need this. Take it.” He placed the box in my hand. “Now you better get going. You’re not going to want to miss a thing.”

Hoping I wasn’t making a giant mistake, I locked the front door by punching in a code on the knob. When I approached the limo, the driver was already out and waiting with the door open.

Payton squealed when I ducked inside. “I’m so glad you agreed to come. You won’t regret it.” The driver shut the door and her smile wavered. She moved to glance out the window. “Wait. What about Nolan?”

I followed her gaze. Nolan stood on the porch and waved. “He said he’d stay home so I could go.”

“Oh.” Payton sat back against the black leather seat. “That was nice.”

I fought the urge to tell her he could make a million
nice
gestures and it still wouldn’t cancel out the lying and damage he’d done. Instead, I said, “He gave me this.” I lifted the cardboard box.

She quirked an eyebrow. “A corsage? Let’s have a look.”

“Fine. But I’m not going to wear it.” I slid my finger under the lid and popped it open. I’d expected the traditional trio of red roses pinned together with baby’s breath. Instead, the box held a single black Sharpie on a bed of tissue paper. “What the—?” I took the Sharpie out of the box and held it to Payton.

Her eyes lit up. She smiled coyly before quickly clasping her hand over her mouth.

“I don’t get it.” I placed the Sharpie back in the box as the limo pulled onto the street. I resisted the urge to glance through the back window for one last peek at Nolan. “Is this supposed to mean something to me?”

“Not yet.” Payton shook her head, still hiding her grin behind her hand. “But it will.”