Like the Dawn (Lark #3) (2 page)

              Holy smokes. I actually just thought about 'when I'm queen'. A few months ago I never would've imagined I'd say something like that or even entertain the thought for that matter. I have always been pretty confident that I'd never actually rule—especially since I knew that Alberico would outlive me anyway. It's strange to think about how much can change in such a short amount of time. I only found out about this world in December, and here it is May and I'm not only next in line for queen, but also no longer hindered by mortality.
              I know it'll happen someday. It's inevitable now, but I take comfort knowing that I won't have to face sitting on that throne for at least several hundred more years. Maybe by then I'll be more prepared for it, because I'm certainly nowhere near ready right now.
              Right now I'm not quite ready to let go of my human life. I know my choices were ones that had to be made for the greater good, but that doesn't mean I don’t feel a pang of regret when I think about everything I'm missing out on and everything I've missed already. I missed my prom. I missed my high school graduation. My family doesn't even remember that I once existed, which was a necessary precaution that had to be taken for their own safety.
              Here I am, at barely eighteen-years-old, preparing myself for a war and eventually to rule my own kingdom when, just a short time ago, my biggest challenge was  preparing to go off to college.
              My life is anything but ordinary these days. Not that it was all that ordinary before, but things are definitely changing.
              “How many today?” I ask her hesitantly.
              “None have been reported so far.”
              “That’s good.”
              Every day there has been an increase in the number of missing person reports and unexplained deaths around the Manhattan area. Just a few days ago two unidentified bodies were found shoved in the dumpster behind the movie theater.
              I absentmindedly play with my amulet—even it's different now. It once held a solid blue lace agate but now, encased in the center, there's a small black stone. It was put there by Sól after I removed it from its protective pedestal, which released the Dark Elves from the curse that kept them trapped in the Underworld.
              Finnegan tricked me into thinking it was the only way to save Isobel when really this seemingly harmless stone was the only thing keeping the Dark Elves trapped in the Underworld.
              He was right about the stone's magical properties though. It did give me the strength to heal her, but at a great cost.
              The amulet is perpetually cool to the touch these days. Even though I never take it off it never seems to absorb any of my body heat. The coolness is a constant reminder of what I have done as well as motivation to atone for my mistakes.

Chapter Tw
o

            
 
W
hen I finally get dressed, I make my way downstairs for breakfast with my father. Grey is standing outside the dining hall.
              “Good morning,” he says hesitantly as though unsure of whether it actually is a 'good' morning.
              “Morning,” I return with a forced smile.
              “Did Freya inform you about the council meeting?”
              “Yes, I don't suppose you'll fill me in on why it was postponed?”
              “Lord Odin is away from the castle at the moment. That is all I can tell you as of right now.”
              “Hmph.” I press my lips into a tight line to keep myself from demanding the answers I know he won't give. He gives me an apologetic smile.
              “After breakfast, I was thinking we could meet in the library for today's lesson, does that sound okay?” he asks.
              “I guess. You're the boss.”
              He offers me his arm and leads me into the dining hall.
              Alberico and other members of his council including Isobel and Adele are already there. It's unusual for them
all
to be here for breakfast. It's not like it's a requirement; in fact, it's rare for any member except for those closest to the king, like Isobel and Grey, to be here except on special occasions.             
              They usually only gather as a group for the monthly scheduled council meetings. Of course, with everything going on right now with the Dark Elves, the council has been having daily meetings. Alberico has set most of the council members up in the guest rooms in the north wing.
              They stand at my arrival which still makes me feel weird despite the fact that it's been my norm for a while now.
              “Good morning, Princess,” a few of the elves mumble as I pass by them. I nod in acknowledgment and offer them each a kind smile in return. I know them all by name now—it only took me nearly six months to do so but I’ve got it down.
              In the last few weeks I've also learned more about each of their roles here in the kingdom.
              The Royal Council is made up of two separate “houses”: the House of Commons and the House of Lords.  It pretty much means exactly what it sounds like—the House of Commons is made up of non-royal elves hand-picked by Alberico himself, whereas the House of Lords—although they are also carefully chosen by Alberico, are descendants from one of the royal bloodlines—which means they are particularly strong in one of the elements: Fire, Earth, Water, or Air.
              While the royal elves are typically much more powerful elemental magic users than the commoners, all elves have some power in every element apart from Spirit. Except for me anyway.
              I'm a rare Spirit user so I can't manipulate any of the other elements. To this day nobody really knows why. 
              I'm also the
only
one that has been blessed by Sól, the sun-goddess, so I'm pretty much just a freak among the elves. Lucky me.
              In the House of Commons is Greyson, of course, he is also Alberico's Consul which basically just means that he is Alberico's right-hand man; more specifically, he is whatever Alberico needs him to be. Then there's Lars—who I call Loud Mouth Lars in my head. He tends to be the most outspoken of the bunch and not always in a good way. Brigit, Anders, and Mathias make up the rest of the House of Commons.
              The House of Lords includes Duchess Isobel who would have been heir to the throne if I hadn’t come along. Then there is Adele, of course, and Henrik, Odin, and Blaise. Blaise is kind of a pompous jerk so I try to avoid talking to him whenever I can help it.
              When I asked Alberico why he chose to allow Blaise on his council, he said that he wanted a variety of opinions and voices.               Whatever floats his boat, I guess.
              “How are you this morning?” Alberico greets me cheerfully as I take my seat between him and Isobel. Grey takes the seat directly across from me.
              Every once in a while it really hits me that he is my father. First of all, he hardly looks old enough to be. In fact, if I didn't know better I'd assume that with his shoulder-length, bleach-blond hair that he was a cliché California surfer dude instead of my father, King Alberico of the Ljósálfar.
              “Fine. Thank you,” I lie. There's no need to disclose my nightmare. Jacoby isn't here to read my aura and know I'm lying so I can get away with it.               The only indication that I'm not being truthful is a faint rush of blood that warms my cheeks, but nobody notices. Except maybe Grey but he won't say anything in front of everyone.
              I can't help but glance over at him. His hair is longer now than it was when I first met him last fall. Even then, his hair was still long enough to hide his pointy ears but short enough to not attract too much attention.
              I guess when he was masquerading as a high school student he must have kept his dark hair shorter to blend in better with the humans. Not that it did much good—I think blending in is probably impossible for him. He's way too good looking for that. That Greek god, Adonis? Yeah, he's got nothing on Grey and those indigo blue eyes.
              He looks up when he feels my eyes on him. I offer up a smile, which he returns after a moment's hesitation. I wish I was able to read his mind.  Then maybe I would know what he's really thinking, which is dumb since right now I don't even know what
I'm
thinking.
              During the last few weeks I have felt as though my head isn't really attached to my shoulders anymore. I suppose it is my way of dealing with all of the new changes in my life: detachment. For someone who can harness the rays of the sun at will, I feel like all the light has left my soul. I'm here, but I'm just barely existing—limp and lifeless.
              “Mia, Elsa will be here in a few days to help you design your official crown,” Alberico notes.
              “What?” I've been lost in my own head so I missed most of the conversation they've been having.
              “Your official crown. You need to decide what you want it to look like.”
              “I get to pick?”
              “Of course. It's customary.” When Alberico smiles, his eyes twinkle. It doesn't surprise me that my mom fell for him. I'm sure he was quite charming.
              “Why do I have to make this decision now? You're not planning on retiring any time soon are you?” I say, trying to act nonchalant but inside I feel a slight twinge of panic.
              Alberico chuckles. “Of course not. But as the rightful princess and heir, you should have a proper crown.”
              The idea of having to design anything freaks me out a little. I can barely apply mascara let alone design something that is to be so regal and symbolic.
              “Don't worry. You will mostly be choosing the color of metal and stones you would prefer. Elsa will do the rest,” Grey informs me as though he read my mind. But I know that he can't. That special trait belongs to Jacoby and I haven't spoken to him, in real life or mentally, in over a week...though it feels like it's been forever.
              I swallow the lump in my throat that is quickly forming at the mere thought of Jacoby and say, “That's good.”             
              I return my gaze back down to my plate and try to steer my thoughts to anything but the fact that I only have myself to blame for the way things are turning out. My own family doesn't even know who I am anymore. I finally told them the truth about my father and the Light Elves and why I had been sneaking around and lying about everything. But I realized that in order to keep everyone I loved safe, I had to defeat Dugan myself. It was my fault that the curse keeping the Dark Elves trapped in the Underworld had been broken.              
              The only way to defeat him was to become immortal and if I chose to give up my mortality I had to give up everything that came with it. I did so with a heavy heart knowing that it was the right choice, but I requested that my loved ones’ memories of me be erased so while I would miss them terribly, they wouldn't know any different.                After all, you can't miss someone you don't remember. 
              Though I couldn't exactly erase his memories, I thought that it would be best if I also broke it off with Jacoby. As much as I didn't want to, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Not only was the timing horrible for a blooming romance, what with an impending war and all, but I just didn't see how there could be a future for us.
              But hindsight is twenty/twenty. I realize that I pretty much blew him off the same way Grey blew me off last fall—which isn't what I ever wanted to do at all. I remember how frustrating it was to be told it would never work without even giving it a chance. Yet I turned around and did the exact same thing to Jacoby without pausing to give him a say in the matter.
              It's taken all of my self-control not to reach out to him and tell him I made a huge mistake.  But regardless of how I feel about these unfortunate circumstances, I know that being with me now wouldn't be fair to him and I love him enough to let him go. Though that doesn't stop me from wondering where he is now—after I ended things he hasn't returned to the castle and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I hate not knowing if he's okay.
              I try not to think about it so that I can actively participate in the conversation but when I look up I notice that Isobel is watching me carefully. Her chocolate brown hair is twisted into an intricate braid down her back and her soft green eyes remind me so much of her nephew's emerald green ones that it almost hurts to look at her.
              Suddenly, I get an idea.
              “Have you heard from him?” I whisper to her. Maybe he's avoiding me but surely he's told his aunt where he is.  She's his only family, of course he wouldn't want her to worry.
              “Not since last week,” she whispers back.
              I nod in acceptance. It's not what I wanted to hear, of course, but nothing is turning out quite how I thought it would.
              “Are you okay, dear?” she asks.
              “I'm fine,” I say with a weak smile, even though we both  know that I'm not. Nothing about this is okay, but there isn't anything I can do to make it better right now. Even if I'm able to defeat Dugan and end the war—Jacoby and I still couldn't be together.
              “Why don't you join me this afternoon for some tea?” she invites me kindly.
              Isobel adores her tea and cookies. She always has the most lovely spread and picturesque table setting. I didn't realize how much I missed that simple indulgence. It's such a deliciously appealing offer that I can't refuse. The council meeting has been postponed so tea with Isobel will offer a nice distraction.              
              I know that if I don't keep myself busy, I will just dwell on everything that is wrong in my world right now and that won't help anything. I can't allow myself to be that selfish.
              “I'd like that,” I agree at once.
              She smiles kindly at me and then in a blink of an eye, I can see how much she's hurting inside too.
              “I think he's okay, Mia,” she whispers softly. She's trying to comfort me. 
              “I hope so.”
              “Do you miss him?” she asks and I can't lie to her.
              “Yes.”
              “Me too.”
              As much as it hurts my heart, I know that being with Jacoby just doesn't make sense anymore. It would be too hard to allow myself to love someone knowing that I'm going to lose them in the end—even if we had seventy years together it would never seem like enough.
              Perhaps that was really Grey's problem all along. I find myself glancing at the boy who has confused me for so long and some of the frustration I've felt toward him seems to fade away in this new light...as though I'm really seeing him for the first time.