Lilia's Secret (29 page)

We didn't see Juan before we left. He sounded lighter on the phone though. I told him everything we'd found out. I had to check intermittently he was still there, he was so quiet. ‘Doesn't explain why she abused us,' he said at the end.

‘I asked Dolores about that,' I said. ‘She thought Lilia must have been unhinged with the grief of losing Amalia which brought back the grief of losing her own daughter. Dolores said Lilia couldn't bear to hear Amalia's name after she'd died. And you know,' I added, ‘she was probably worried you'd turn out like El Tigre. I think that's why she never told you El Tigre was your father.'

Juan took it all in. He did say he'd been feeling his mother's light more and it was soaking up more of the shadows. But he's lived with his pain for so long I don't think he'll give it up easily.

As soon as our baby is born we plan to take it back to its other home, in Mexico. We think the clinic will be ready by then too. I'm looking forward to meeting Juan's children and their families. If he doesn't come to the opening, maybe we can get together in his little village. That should annoy him.

Behind the veil of their smoke Gabriela and Lupita had hugged each other in vindication. We pointed out that Lilia
still ran drugs, she still had people killed, she still terrorised Juan. They waved their cigarettes at us. ‘Yes, but there is a fuller story now,' Gabriela said and Lupita nodded.

We decided to move Lilia's baby and lay her beside her mother. We'd time the reburial so it coincided with the clinic opening and we could all be there to lay her to rest. Lupita and Gabriela invited us to join them in a cleansing, but Andrés and I had a plane to catch.

My mother's wedding to Robert took place in her backyard. It was quiet and I decided Ramiro would see it as the colour of dusky pink. I can't say I like Robert much. But Mum's happy. She's making a patchwork blanket for the baby. She says it's got pieces of material from my own baby blanket and from the dress she wore when she was carrying me. She's made one for all her grandchildren.

Bill emails me about the progress of the clinic. He and Carole have been down to Aguasecas a few times. He says that he didn't get much done until he got the power of God on his side in the guise of Padre Miguel, who he's appointed as his project manager. Apparently even Magdalena is grudgingly conceding that while Padre Miguel is not quite God, he does stand in God's shadow.

Bill says he's put in air conditioning for Paulina and started another building project at the village school where her grandchildren go.

Angela and I email each other from time to time. She's pretty busy with her studies, but she says things are much better at home.

Andrés and I are looking around for a bigger place to move into. We're going to call the baby Bella, after Andrés' mother, if
it's a girl. After all, she's sure to be beautiful. If it's a boy Andrés wants to call him Javier after his father, but I'm thinking maybe Jack, after mine.

Lilia's Secret
is inspired by some of the stories I grew up with in my rural Irish Catholic world and some of the stories my husband, Victor, grew up with living in the heart of Mexico City's high-rise jungle.

The character, Lilia, was inspired by Victor's grandmother, who was believed to have killed most of her six husbands. Of course, I've taken a great deal of licence with the basic story and for their generosity in allowing me to do this I thank Victor's family.

For helping me through the highs and lows of my writing journey as I worked on
Lilia's Secret
, I thank my family, including Gary, Gillian, Patrick, Kate and Julie and our tribe. As well: Renata Aitkin, Alex Kazas, Helen Fry, Roland Fishman, Kimberly Duncan, Dennis McDermit; the writing community of the Sydney University of Technology, especially Jean Bedford and Jan McKemmish; Georgia Blain, Nikki Gemmell; my agent, Fiona Inglis; Yolanda Romeo, Felicity Turner, Andrew McAliece, Derrick Brown, Julie Turner, Adam Browne, Matt Lovering. Also, The Pencillvanians, including Alison Peters, Althea Lamber, Pin Affleck, Naomi Durey, Kirsty Miln, Heather Robinson and Basil Eliades;
Tenille Zekas, Amanda Collinge, Jackie Henshaw, Lynette Thorstensen, Michael Ward, Sarah Macdonald, Claire Kermonde, John Marsden; my editor, the wise and intelligent Catherine Hill; the team at Random House, and many others.

Special thanks go to Kathleen McTigue, Therese Lew, Geraldine Reddan, Josie Gibson, Geraldine Coren, Sonia Zavesky, Andrea Rieniets and Dionne Lew for loving dedication to the cause.

My heartfelt thanks go also to you, the reader; and to my beautiful Victor and my honey-drops, Maya and Alena.

Erina can be contacted at
[email protected]

For more on
Lilia's Secret
, you can visit
www.erinareddan.com

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randomhouse.com.au