Chapter 39
Lily
The city lights blurred in a spinning motion, getting faster and faster as I stared up at the tall buildings. Laughter echoed around me and I knew it was Bethany’s without even seeing her. Fear embedded deep within and I could feel tugging on my hand.
“Come on, Lily. We’re going to be late.”
A dark SUV was suddenly before me and I jerked back, turning to try to run. Suddenly, I felt so young. So naïve and stupid. What was I doing here, again? Bethany was trying to take me and I was going?
“Lily, hurry, you’re going to make your Master upset. He’s waiting.”
More tugging had me pulling with everything I was capable of.
“Get away from me. I don’t want to go.”
Long blonde hair billowed out around me and I knew I was falling back. Falling with Bethany on top of me. Hitting the sidewalk never registered. All I could feel was her weight as she wrestled with me. Hands grabbed my feet and I screamed. They had me. I knew in my heart they were going to take me again and this time, I’d never be saved. I was as good as dead. She’d kill me. Saul would kill me.
His deep voice was suddenly filling my ears and my mind told me he was the one holding my ankles. I cried, clawing with my hands to try to get Bethany off of me so I could run, but with every movement I made, she grasped me tighter. And I was moving down. Closer to the SUV.
“Baby, wake up. Lily.”
“No.” My arms flew out, finally free from the restraint. Blindly, I fought, throwing myself to the side.
“Lilian.” The tone registered and I felt myself still. Light broke through and I blinked past the dimness.
Zain was sitting on the side of the bed, worry filling his face as he stared at me. His hands reached out and I didn’t hesitate to throw myself into them. Sobs left me and the events from the café had me breaking down even more.
“Shh, baby girl. I’m back now.”
“Something is wrong with me. I can’t stop them no matter how hard I try.” My broken voice only made my anxiety worse. Something deep within was shattered and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get myself together this time. “I’m so scared. Don’t leave me tonight. Please? I can’t do this.”
One minute, I was holding on to Zain. The next, he was pulling me into his lap. The cradling was a relief…until I saw my brother standing at the door. My head lifted and I wiped away the tears, unsure of how I should act. Who the fuck was I that I was looking for everyone else’s direction but my own? My therapist, my brother, my Master. Where was Lily?
Who was Lily?
Slade stepped back, giving me a look I couldn’t comprehend, only to turn and walk away. I curled into Zain’s chest, trying not to think too much about anything but feeling safe.
“I missed you.” His kiss to my forehead only put me more at ease.
“I missed you, too.”
He pulled back to look down at me. “What happened when I was gone? I heard you hurt your hand.”
My hand flexed and I pulled it closer toward me. “I was suddenly there again, on my way to your father’s. I could hear the men honking and speaking in a language I couldn’t understand. It was real. I could have sworn I was there.”
A sigh left him and he brought me in closer.
“Why is this happening? Why now?” I said, trying to stop the tears. I was over being weak. Each episode that brought me down was making me internally worse.
“I don’t know. Probably because it’s almost happening all over again. Maybe because I’m back in the picture. My family. I don’t know,” he repeated, under his breath. “We’re going to get you better though, I promise.”
Zain placed me on the bed, covering me up. As he moved in beside me, on top of the covers, we held on to each other. I got lost in my thoughts, barely noticing that the sun was already starting to rise.
“I wanted to go back to work today. I thought it would help.”
“After what you just woke from?”
The nightmare had been one of many I’d always had. It was a repeat and although I wasn’t too afraid of it after I woke, during was a different story.
“This is routine, believe it or not. At least, to an extent. I’ll be fine.”
My body was pulled deeper into his and I smiled as he snuggled against me. “Maybe you’re right. Going back might help. Then again, it might make it worse.”
“I’m going to leave early. I see my therapist at one. After she heard of my episode, she wanted to see me at my earliest convenience. It’ll have to do until I find another I like better.”
“Yes, I want you to go. I’ll get the address from your brother and meet you there. I can wait in the lobby until you’re finished.”
My head drew back. “You’d do that? Just come to wait outside?”
“Of course.” His eyebrows drew in. “Why wouldn’t I? I told you I was going to take care of you. Even if I can’t be in the room, I can be there to support you when you’re finished.”
Warmth rushed through my chest and I reached up, sliding my palm over his rough cheek. “Thank you. You don’t know much that means to me.”
“That’s what people do when they love each other. And I love you.” His lips brushed against mine and it was amazing how fast I could feel myself bounce back. His presence made me stronger. Made me believe that I could overcome anything.
“How did the trip go? Did you…” I trailed off, waiting for the good news. If he was here and well, that meant something. The way his features hardened had me lifting my head. “What happened?”
“Blake is what happened,” he said, deeply. “But Adul is taken care of and so are the guards that were in that house. Saul wasn’t there.” He paused. “They did manage to get three of the girls out, though.”
“Oh, thank God.” A sigh of relief left me, but my head shook, thinking about Saul. Zain’s hand reached up, rubbing the length of mine. “No worrying, slave, he’s not going to hurt you. You’re well protected. We’ll just be sure to keep an open eye out. You trust me?”
“Yes,” I breathed out.
“Good. Then why don’t you get up and start getting ready for work? I’ll go make you breakfast.”
At the final kiss, he stood and I followed suit, watching him leave the room. I wasn’t sure what he had planned for Saul, but if I knew my Master, he was keeping information to himself to protect me. It only meant that I needed to focus on getting better and step up my game. I would not be afraid. People with PTSD overcame their obstacles every day. I just had to stay positive and forge ahead. I’d done it once. I could do it again.
I opened my closet, pulling out a pair of black slacks, a white and gold button up shirt, and a gold belt to match. The boots I removed from the bottom were stilettos and I threw my black half trench on the bed for when I was ready. Showering didn’t take long and after I blow dried, fixed my hair, and put make-up on, I was rushing into the kitchen. The smell of coffee nearly had me moaning.
“You look better.” Slade’s voice had me peering over to the dining room area where he sat, sipping on coffee. The paper was resting in one hand and he was already dressed in his suit.
“Thank you. So do you. Are you going in today?”
The paper rustled as he set it down on the table. “Yeah, there are a few things I need to take care of. I hear Volstin is ripe for the picking and I want them.”
A smile came to my face. “Then you’ll have them. I’ll get together with Willard and we’ll look over the numbers, see what we’re working with. Alec…” My stomach dropped and I pressed my hand against it, trying to stop the flip-flopping. “Whoever has taken over for him will try to beat us to it. We’ll have to act fast.”
Zain walked over, handing me a glass of juice. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. I forgot. God, how did I forget that?”
“It happens.” He led me to the table. “Sit while I grab your plate.”
I took a deep breath, meeting Slade’s blank expression. Something was there just behind his eyes, but I couldn’t read it.
“We’ll get it. Money talks and so do you. You may be new to this and less experienced when it comes to the dealings, but you’re the best. I wouldn’t have let you move up as fast as I did if that weren’t the case. You’ve got this, Lily. You’re a Roberts. We get what we want.”
A small laughed escaped and I took a drink. “What I want is normalcy. I don’t see that happening for quite some time.”
“But it’ll happen. Just give it time. That’ll be your worst enemy right now,” Slade said.
Zain placed a plate in front of me with fruit and a bowl of oatmeal. I threw him a smile while he sat down next to me with his own breakfast.
“What do I do? I can’t just sit around doing nothing. You still going to hire me?”
The men looked at each other and Slade took a drink of his coffee, continuing to stare. When he placed it down, he sat up taller. “Come in at nine. You can follow me around for the day. I’ll show you the different departments and let Richard introduce you to your new desk and what you’ll be doing.
Zain nodded and I went back to trying to eat. The meal went by in mostly silence and I pushed from the table, only for my Master to take my plate before I could stand completely.
“I’m going to go ahead and take off to work.” I turned from my brother’s acknowledgement and walked Zain into the kitchen. “I guess I’ll be seeing you in the office then. What are you going to do in the mean time?”
I grabbed my purse from the bar, looking down at my watch. It was still early, barely past seven.
“My clothes are at the house. I’ll swing by there and get dressed. I’ll meet Slade there. That way I’ll have the car. You want to ride with me to the appointment?”
I smiled, nodding. “I’d like that.”
“Then it’s done. I’ll see you soon.”
Zain opened the door for me and Brace was already waiting. I eased out, giving him a small wave before he closed it. From what I thought was going to be a horrible start to the morning had turned out better than I could have hoped. The ride down the elevator and to work went by in a haze as I relaxed into what I was hoping would be routine. Maybe Zain could come by and pick me up for work every day. Now that my car was actually being put to good use, it would be nice to ride in it. I hated driving and didn’t mind him stepping up. It could work. At least, I liked to think it could.
The car pulled in front of Slade Industries and it took me a second to realize we’d already arrived. My door was opened and I took a deep breath as I stepped out and straightened my shoulders. There was no room for my submissive nature here. Not with the role I played. I had to remember that. Too many people looked to me for direction. To show weakness would get me eaten alive.
“Morning, Ms. Roberts.”
“Morning, Chan.” I kept walking, passing the metal detectors, and heading to the elevator being held open for me. Brace was already by my side, Caleb opposite of him, flanking the back. I knew this routine. Thrived in it now that I wasn’t looking for a reason to drop my guard. “Zain and I will leave for my appointment at one. Follow and stay close behind. Watch everything,” I said to Brace, lowly. “We’re not out of the woods yet. I’m sure you already know that, though.”
He nodded and I forced a smile for him as I stepped onto the elevator car. The moment the doors shut, I let my shoulders sag, even if for the briefest moment. I trusted Zain to protect me, but I also knew I could be a distraction. He had a lot on his mind and his uncle wanted him dead. I wasn’t going to risk anything. Not concerning him.
Ding.
An empty room full of cubicles met me and I headed to the lounge to start the coffee. As I waited for it to be done, I could hear people beginning to file in. Some placed food in the fridge, keeping their heads down or gave a quiet hello, while others knew to avoid me altogether. Taking my time, I made a cup and headed to my office. The blinds were shut and I suddenly didn’t like it. I wanted to see Zain arrive. Watch him in an environment he’d never been in before. Slade’s questions had crept in and although I didn’t doubt that my Master would do more than excel, I felt fascinated to watch.
Heads spun in my direction as everyone watched my room become nothing more than a window to view them out of. I could see the whispers, but I ignored them as I sipped my coffee. Patrice, my secretary, stepped off the elevator, a big smile on her face…until she saw me. The fast paced walk had her hurrying to my door. The knock was a quick succession of three raps.
“Come in.”
“Ms. Roberts, I was told you weren’t going to be back in for another few days.”
I shrugged, placing my cup down on the desk and standing from the edge where I’d been sitting. “It was time I came back. What did I miss?”
“Oh.” The word sounded overwhelmed. I held up my hand, having her pause in rushing from the office to her desk.
“You know what, just bring me the messages. I’ll read through them, it’s not a big deal.”
Her mouth shut and his eyes blinked a few times, as if she were lost. “Yes, Ms. Roberts.” She headed for her desk and I went back to watching the elevators. People came, some left. The room calmed while the constant hum of voices took over. Minutes ticked by while I took my time reading through the thick stack of notes Patrice had made. I knew the second my brother walked in. An eerie silence had me looking up in time to see Slade and Zain halfway to my office. The dark suit Zain wore sent my pulse skittering all over the place. The power he emanated couldn’t be mistaken. God, just seeing the way his eyes were intensely staring into mine made me melt. He looked ready to eat me alive and fuck if I didn’t want him to.