Lily (Song of the River) (39 page)

The door to the parlor opened and Miss Dahlia breezed in with Camellia following a couple of steps behind. “Mama, it’s the worst disaster ever.”

Mrs. Blackstone turned to her daughter. “What’s wrong, Dahlia?”

Her daughter sighed as she sank into a chair. “It’s Camellia’s dress, the one she is supposed to wear to the dinner party tonight.”

“I’m so sorry, Grandmother, but it was an accident.” Camellia’s eyes were red rimmed. “I was upstairs painting a still life of bananas and apples, and I upset the paints with disastrous results.”

“There is a bright spatter down the front of Camellia’s new dress.” Miss Dahlia took up the tale. “We must take it to the dressmaker to see what may be done to repair it.”

Tamar put a hand over her mouth. A disaster indeed. If it had been Miss Lily’s dress, she would have shrugged and chosen an older one, but Miss Camellia put much more emphasis on her appearance.

“That’s a shame, Camellia.” Mrs. Blackstone’s calm tone quieted the other two women. “Of course you must take the carriage. I was about to send Tamar to town, so she can ride with you.”

Miss Dahlia looked surprised that someone else was in the room. “Of course we can take Tamar.”

“That’s settled, then.” Mrs. Blackstone handed the envelopes to Tamar. “The top one is for the captain.”

“Where are you sending her, Mama?”

“To the
Hattie Belle.
I have not heard from either Mr. Matthews or the captain, and it would be a shame if they did not attend because their invitations were not properly delivered.”

A spark of interest entered her daughter’s eyes. “I was a guest on the boat before Lily purchased it. I’ve been wondering what changes she’s made.”

“But I don’t want to go back to the river until I have to.” Camellia’s forehead crinkled.

Tamar edged out of the room as Miss Dahlia warned Camellia to stop frowning or risk premature wrinkles. The joy she’d felt earlier faded as she realized the addition of the two ladies meant she would have no chance of seeing Jensen alone. She might not even be able to leave the carriage if Miss Dahlia decided she wanted to deliver the invitations herself. What had looked to be a delightful outing had become nothing more than another chore.

What else should she expect? She was a slave, not a free woman who could go wherever she chose. For one of the first times in her life, Tamar found herself resenting her lack of freedom.

Lily was more than ready to leave for New Orleans. It seemed so long since she’d seen her friends there. They would have so much catching up to do.

“We should be ready to leave as soon as you get here Monday morning.” Captain Henrick glanced toward Blake for confirmation.

“Good. I’ll have the girls in the carriage by first light.” She was relieved she wouldn’t have to continue trying to sidestep Grandmother’s plan to have the two men at her dinner party.

Jasmine, followed closely by a laughing David, brushed past Lily’s skirts.

“Don’t knock any of the crates over,” Lily admonished.

David skidded to a halt and looked back at her. “We’ll be careful.” She would have to be satisfied with his promise, although Lily doubted he could control her youngest sister’s exuberance.

“We’ve come to see where you girls have been living for all these weeks.”

Recognizing the voice, Lily whirled toward the gangplank, her mouth falling open as she came face-to-face with Aunt Dahlia and Camellia.

“What on earth are you doing here?” Aunt Dahlia’s gaze was fixed on someone standing behind Lily. Then she turned back to Lily. “Why is your father on board your boat?”

“Father?” Camellia gasped out the two syllables. Her shocked face turned toward Lily. “That can’t be right. Our father is dead.”

“I’m sorry.” Lily reached toward her. “I didn’t wa—”

“What?” Camellia’s shriek rivaled the clamor of a steamship whistle. “You didn’t want us to know our father was right here with us?”

“Camellia.” Their father stepped toward her. “Don’t blame your sister. This is not her fault.”

“Of course it is. She knew.” Camellia looked past him to Lily. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Lily didn’t know what to say. Her sister was right. She should have told them. Even though she’d been only a child when her grandparents decided to tell everyone, including Camellia and Jasmine, that their father was dead, she could have let her sisters know the truth when each grew old enough to understand. She put a hand to her forehead.

“How could you deceive us so?” Camellia’s voice broke. She picked up her skirts and ran back to the dock.

“Isn’t anyone going to answer me?” Aunt Dahlia’s querulous voice drew Lily’s attention.

“No.” Lily faced down her relative. She wanted to get to Camellia but had the feeling her sister would not listen to her at the moment. “Not right now. Not while my sister is sitting in that carriage crying her eyes out. She trusts you. Please go comfort her and get her back home. I’ll be there soon to sort everything out.”

The shock on Aunt Dahlia’s face should have been amusing, but Lily couldn’t find any humor in this situation. “Please go, Aunt Dahlia. Go take care of my sister.”

Her father added his voice to Lily’s. “You cannot wish the whole town to know our family business, Dahlia. Your father would be mortified.”

“Papa is past worrying about such earthly matters.” Aunt Dahlia gathered her skirts. “But I suppose you’re right.” She glared at Lily. “See that you are home soon.”

“What is all the shouting about?” Jasmine and David appeared as Aunt Dahlia marched off the boat. “Where’s Aunt Dahlia going?”

Lily looked toward Blake. His sympathetic gaze nearly wrecked her control. Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. She tried to hold the tears at bay.

Apparently their aunt heard her name. She turned back to the boat and pointed at Jasmine. “You need to come with me now.”

Jasmine glanced toward Lily for confirmation. Although Lily didn’t want her youngest sister to hear about their father from Aunt Dahlia, it couldn’t be helped. She needed to figure out how to handle this situation, and she couldn’t do that until she talked to her father. Why had she ever let him remain on the
Hattie Belle
?

“Why don’t you come up to the hurricane deck with me?” Their father put a gentle hand on David’s shoulder. “I’ve been wanting to show you how to whittle a turtle, and I think now would be a good time.” His shoulders drooped as he led the boy away.

Wondering what to do, Lily jumped when someone touched her arm. “Tamar.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She held out two envelopes. “Your grandmother wanted me to deliver these to Mr. Blake and Captain Henrick.”

“Captain Anderson.” She took the envelopes and sighed. “We need to start calling him by his full name. I suppose that’s as good a place to start unraveling this knot as any.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Blake stepped closer. “I know a certain fellow who’s been ornery as a bear since a certain hardhearted female told him to stay away from her.”

Tamar’s head dropped toward her chest. Were her cheeks darkening? Lily almost smiled at her friend’s response to Blake’s teasing. But then her problems came crashing down on her once again. What was she going to do? Where could she turn?

She fought a strong desire to loose the
Hattie Belle
from her moorings and float away. But where could she escape her bad decisions? By the time she realized no place would be far enough away, Tamar had disappeared.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Blake’s voice was warm, containing none of the condemnation she deserved.

Lily shook her head. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—cry in front of him.

His hands cupped her elbows, pulled her closer. “It’s not that bad, honey.”

His reassurance crashed through Lily’s defenses. She needed to rest, to lean on his strength. Melting into him, Lily sobbed against his shoulder. After a moment he reached an arm under her knees and picked her up, cradling her against his chest as the hot tears continued unabated. On some level she knew he had moved her out of the way of prying eyes and ears. But mostly she simply released all the worry and dread that had been building inside for so long.

How had everything gone so wrong? Where had the first misstep happened? Was it when she bought the
Hattie Belle
? Or even earlier, when she’d refused to bow to her aunt and uncle’s bidding? Perhaps she should have married Mr. Marvin in spite of her misgivings. Or maybe everything would have been different if she’d sent her father away the moment she discovered that Blake had hired him.

Finally the tears ran out. Drained by the storm of emotion, Lily lay against Blake’s chest and breathed unsteadily. Little by little she noticed several things. She was sitting in his lap at one of the dining-room tables. His hand was rubbing gentle circles on her back. His shirt was wet under her cheek. She wanted to push away from him but didn’t know if she would ever gather the nerve to look him in the eye.

“Feeling better?” His low voice eased some of her embarrassment.

Lily sniffed and lifted her head, her gaze not quite reaching his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

She pushed back and reached for the floor with her feet.

“Be careful.” He released his hold on her.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Her voice still sounded shaky, but Lily stood up anyway. “I’m not usually so overcome.”

He thrust something under her nose. A handkerchief.

Lily used it to wipe her face.

When she tried to hand it back to him, Blake caught her hand. “Keep it for now.”

She shrugged and tucked the damp square into the waist of her skirt. “I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’d suggest a cool, wet cloth to wash your face.”

A giggle bubbled into her throat. Finally she looked at him. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Are you asking for my advice?” His eyes, as clear and blue as a summer sky, considered her. For a moment they stood, watching each other. How did he manage to look so handsome, so capable?

“Yes.” Lily felt an almost overwhelming urge to place all her burdens on his shoulders, but for now she would only ask for his advice.

“You’re going to have to be truthful with your family—every one of them, your sisters, even the aunt and uncle you don’t agree with.”

She thought she had emptied the reservoir of tears on his shirtfront, but suddenly she could feel the burning of a fresh supply. “I’m afraid they won’t forgive me, especially Camellia. She was so hurt and angry when she left.”

“Of course she will, Lily. She’s your sister. She may be angry with you for a day or two, but she’ll come around. She loves you. Both of your sisters adore you. They will forgive you.”

The tears receded a bit as his words gave her hope. But another thought intruded. “How can they when I cannot forgive my father for what he did all those years ago?”

A light entered his eyes. “You once told me to make peace with the past and with my father. I’m telling you the same thing today. You have to forgive your father.”

She gulped, remembering how easily she had dispensed that advice. Odd how her words had come back to haunt her. Could she let go of the fact that her father had abandoned them when they needed him the most?

Backing away from Blake, she moved toward the bedroom she shared with Camellia and Jasmine. “I’ll think about it.” She turned and fled before he could extract a promise from her. She needed to do some praying before she decided what to do next.

T
he room was as tidy as they’d left it. Lily moved toward her trunk and opened it. She dug through the clothes inside until her fingers closed over the solid edges of the item she sought. Her Bible. Pulling it free, she perched on the edge of her bed.

Clasping the leather volume to her chest, she knelt next to her bed, closed her eyes, and began to pray. The words came slowly at first, but then they began sliding across her mind as she felt His presence beside her.

Lord, You know what’s wrong. Please help me figure out how to fix it. I’ve gotten so far from Your Word, and I’m sorry. Please don’t hold that against me. I come to You with my head hung low. I know better than to let my faith grow weak and forgotten in the press of days. I ask for Your forgiveness and patience. Help me to do better. Show me how to lead my sisters so that they will continue to embrace You no matter what our futures may hold. Thank You, Lord, for being so faithful. Amen.