Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (38 page)

The tendency toward fickleness in Libra men can't be denied. They do tend to trifle, especially in youth. The natural Libra impulse is to size up every third or fourth woman they come across, and weigh her possibilities of being the true soul mate. They often get friendship and love hopelessly confused. Surprisingly, it's not often that the Libran will suffer from a broken heart, for all his dabbling and experimenting. He can forget with insulting quickness, and be less apt than anyone, except perhaps a Gemini or Sagittarius male, to allow himself to regret the memory of unrequited love or a romance that was fated never to be. He may sustain a few bruised spots, but there will be no permanent damage, except in very unusual cases. Then the hurt can be devastating beyond imagination. But it happens so rarely, you won't find many examples. It's easier to find a soft-hearted, guileless Libra man in the clutches of a passionately determined female, who has made him feel that deserting her would be a sin second only to breaking all the ten commandments at once. Caught in such a net, he can be a pretty miserable prisoner of love. But both extremes are the exceptions, and most Libra men manage to keep free enough to enjoy romance to the fullest, without letting sentimental ties rope them in.

He isn't too interested in rooting out your secrets. He may seem to be, at first glance, but take a second look. Often he misses what's going on two inches under his nose. Everyone will notice what's happening but him. Though he'll argue until hell freezes over, his purpose is not to dig out personal motives, but to dwell on abstract theories so that he can reach a balanced judgment. His questions aren't aimed at uncovering anyone's hidden neurosis. He just wants to sort the facts and assemble them in the proper places. He'll discuss pros and cons with brilliant logic and astute rationalization, and his conclusion will usually be fair, accurate, sensible and practical. Not even Solomon in all his wisdom could top a typical Libran's final, balanced decision. But he doesn't have the inclination to figure the personal nuances or emotional tangles that lie just beneath the surface. The facts and the facts alone are sufficient. The Piscean, Scorpio or Aquarian's deep penetration of character would, to his mind, muddy the crystal-clear picture he seeks. He instinctively feels that such psychological examination is out of his line. It is.

If you're extravagant, he'll simply deduce that you spend money like water; therefore you aren't a good credit risk. The fact that you seek emotional security by wasting cash isn't in his field. He's not your psychiatrist. If you're stingy, he's only interested in carefully examining your thrift to form an accurate appraisal of your customs. There's no desire to uncover your secret fear of losing your independence through poverty. Promiscuity will make him argue against its pitfalls; frigidity will bring on even lengthier discussions about isolation from human companionship. But he'll avoid learning about the traumatic experiences that brought on the former, or the deep-seated feelings of inadequacy that triggered the latter. Libra is the judge. You'll see lots of judges handing down fair decisions, based on weighing the facts in the case, but you won't find many of them asking you why the color red makes you nervous, or sympathizing with your compulsion to lock your husband out because he wore those red-striped pajamas. Always remember that the Libran argues with only an abstract curiosity. He appears to be a prober, but he's not. Nor is he as nosy and gossipy as he seems to be. It's like breaking the seal of the confessional to pry a secret given in confidence from the typical Libran.

All this makes him terribly trustworthy, but a little hard on your feelings. You can confide in him with faith. But you'll suffer when he misses sensing your innermost needs. He wants to please you, but there's seldom enough understanding of your silent hopes to satisfy all your longings (unless there's a water sign on the ascendant, or the Moon is in a water sign). Just because he's an expert lover technically doesn't make him the soul of empathy in relation to your moods. He has enough trouble coping with his own. Nothing can be more irritating than when you rush to him with a story about how someone has hurt you deeply. You seek sympathy, and what do you get? His first question will be, “What did you do to him (or her)?” Then he'll point out where you were just as much in the wrong, until you could scream with unsatisfied indignation. Go ahead and scream, he still won't take sides if he thinks you've been unfair, and the emotional implications will escape him.

Trouble invariably arises from this Libran lack of awareness of the partner's need to be understood in depth. It may seem unbelievable that he can be so intuitive about the abstract, so brilliantly logical in deduction, so capable of clear, open-minded and open-eyed deliberation, and still be so aggravatingly obtuse about what makes you ache or thrill inside. But it's one of those inconsistencies you have to live with, if you live with a Libran. His gentleness and that smile, of course, make it easier to bear.

Unless there are financial afflictions in his natal chart, he won't be tight with the budget. On the contrary, the typical Libran has a rather lavish hand with cash. He believes in spending it on objects or activities that bring beauty or happiness. As his partner, be prepared to be a good hostess, because his home will be a regular hospitality center at most any hour of the day or night (except during those times when he's resting and won't take kindly to being disturbed by doorbells, telephones or people). Don't drag him to crowded places where he's forced to feel the press of flesh and where the noise offends his sense of harmony. Crowds of strangers affect his inner equilibrium. All Librans have an instinctive distaste for physical contact with masses of humanity. His social life will be generously sprinkled with intelligent, sparkling people, but when the group expands to over a couple of dozen warm bodies, he'll struggle for air. A Libra man can suddenly leave you alone in a crowded theater with no explanation. He doesn't hate you. He was just overcome with claustrophobia, a typical Libran affliction.

The fastest road to the disinterest that leads to divorce is a disorderly home. He'll want to keep the radio and TV sets toned down, and he doesn't like strong odors penetrating his sensitive nostrils. If you must make onion soup and garlic bread, follow it up with pine-scented air freshener until the house smells like the great northern woods. A spouse who serves bread right out of the wrapper, uses paper towels for napkins and leaves the counters cluttered is headed for the life of a not-so-gay divorcée sooner than she may think. Hanging lingerie across the shower rod is out. Leaving dishes in the sink or refusing to make up your side of the bed can keep him in a constant state of emotional discord. He'll retreat from the disharmony with longer and longer naps and more and more nights out alone, and eventually, there will be no communication. If the chartreuse draperies clash with maroon rug, he can pout for years, and you'll never know why. Better keep the decor pastel. With the typical Libran kindness, he may not complain, but that female colleague and her exquisite taste may look more attractive to him every day.

The Libra male hates confusion, and he really needs harmony to remain stable. His home must be a beautiful, quiet oasis from the jangling discord of the outside world, or those scales may remain permanently out of balance. Since he seldom probes motives, you'll have to be smart enough to guess why he's never home or why he sleeps all the time when he is. Remember that he's weak on introspection, so you must be the analyst. He'll never suspect his unhappiness stems from seeing you covered with cold cream and the youngsters covered with jelly. He may not realize he hates the orange shower curtain or that the lithograph of George Washington crossing the Delaware which hangs over the mantle goes against his artistic grain. He won't quite understand why he keeps forgetting to kiss you goodnight and good morning, but his logical mind will tell him something is off balance, and he'll suffer from it more than he lets on. Pick up the papers and toys, spruce up the house, dab on your best perfume, keep your legs shaved, substitute some soothing music for the television, buy some heavenly blue shower curtains and get a good Degas print to replace George over the mantle. You'll wake up some morning and find you're married to a completely new man with a totally changed attitude.

The children will always benefit from his sense of fairness. He'll make sure the biggest youngsters don't take advantage of the baby, or the youngest doesn't break the oldest's bicycle spokes. Libran fathers will exercise discipline with quiet authority, and they'll try to give a logical reason for punishment, which will seldom be administered in anger. Like you, the children will melt under his charm; and like you, they'll also chafe under his constant debating and challenging. Strangely, a Libra man usually doesn't look forward enthusiastically to the birth of children. But after they arrive, he weighs the advantage of their love against loneliness, plunges into fatherhood with a sincere desire to enjoy it, and normally ends up as a doting parent. However, he'll never allow parental affection to replace his romantic feelings for you. With typical Librans of both sexes, the mate comes first, offspring second. You needn't fear that his love for you will decrease as the family increases—assuming, of course, you got rid of those chartreuse draperies or the maroon rug, one or the other—and that the dirty dishes don't continually pile up in the sink.

One final word of astrological advice. If you're in love with a Libra man, and you're sure it's meant to be, go right ahead and propose whatever it is you want to propose, up to and including marriage. He'll be relieved that you took the initiative. But watch out for that perverse streak which causes him to let you decide, and then when it doesn't work out, cheerfully point out that “You made the decision. I didn't.” Make sure you know what you're doing, or you'll never hear the end of it. There's only one way to even the score with him. Say “Yes, I decided. If I had left it up to you, we'd still be standing under that lamppost in the rain saying ‘I love you,' and we'd both have caught pneumonia.” He'll argue with you, naturally, but just before or after you bounce the teapot off his head, he'll accidentally smile, and there you'll be—standing under that lamppost in the rain again, saying “I love you,” once more. I believe this is where I came in.

Once a child asked me a question that wasn't easy to answer. “Why is it,” he wanted to know, “that ladies wear trousers and men use pretty smelling cologne?” In typical Aries style, I dashed off an impulsive reply. “Well,” I told him quickly, before he could think of any more embarrassing riddles, “that's because there's a little bit of woman in every man, and there's a little bit of man in every woman. Now let's play checkers.”

Looking back, I'm rather proud of my instant Mars wisdom. That statement is true to some degree of all the Sun signs, and it's super-true of Libra. You can find a trace of the opposite sex in the most virile, rugged Libran male, and Venus plays the same trick on the female scale balancer.

She may be as dainty as a fluffy, white bunny and she may whisper with gentle persuasion. She can dress in silks and laces, and her hair can smell of fragrant cologne. She might even look like a little doll you could lift with one hand (though a Taurus or Sagittarius ascendant would make her considerably more hefty). But with all her femininity, sweet mannerisms and lovely grace, this woman wears a pair of trousers with surprising ease, and they'll fit her rather neatly. Her mental processes operate with male logic and they can match yours in any discussion you care to start. They can even top yours on occasion, although the female side of the Libra woman is usually too smart to let you catch on to that until you're safely past the honeymoon. During the mating season, she'll be careful not to beat you at chess, but she won't hide her sharp mind behind those soft dimples forever. Eventually, you'll be treated to a display of her brain power.

Most Libra women will air their clever wits any time a subject appears with the slightest possibility of debate. It could be anything from why you shouldn't wear button down collars to what's keeping you from getting a raise at work. (She'll feel the latter is partly your fault and partly your boss's fault. Everything with Libra ends up as six of one and half a dozen of another—just so it all comes out even.) If you refuse to rise to the bait, she'll argue with herself. A Libra female can start a donnybrook alone, pursue it alone and finish it alone, in a grand flourish. Your only contribution may be “But why?” or “I don't think so,” but sometimes that's all she needs to deliver a brilliant monologue, which may last for an hour or more. Through it all, however, you'll probably be drowning in her charm. She'll turn on that unbearably delicious smile every third sentence or so, and you'll end up changing your mind as effortlessly as she changes her sex by taking over the man's prerogative, then switching back to a cuddly love bunny. She'll convince you with pure clear logic. You won't lose much—except your pride, and you'll hardly miss that, under the spell of that gentle Libran smile. She's usually right, because her final decisions are as carefully considered as those of the Supreme Court. Libran females don't need much encouragement to start a verbal comparison going between any two points of view. A politically active season will give her lots of chances to sharpen her rhetoric and her argumentative talents. She makes a great political worker, once she's made up her mind which side and which candidate is right.

Aside from the typical Libra penchant for weighing everything twice to make sure she didn't miss a point, she can be quite a lot of woman for a man who's interested in romance or companionship or both. Her tendency to argue is really based on a sincere desire to reach an impartial decision. It could be worse. At least she doesn't make up her own rules as she goes along, or stubbornly resist all reason, like women born under some other Sun signs. Besides, most of her opinions are presented with diplomatic tact, which somewhat softens the blow.