Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (36 page)

Once you've gradually moved your Virgo employee from the bottom (where he won't mind starting, by the way) to the position of your right-hand man or your special assistant, you can relax and really play some golf for a change, content in the knowledge that someone totally reliable is covering you back at the office. Of course, you may feel a little guilty when you return, under the reproachful expression in those lovely, clear Virgo eyes. You mean you never noticed how attractive your Virgo employee is? Look again.

 

 

Librans hate to be rude, yet they'll straighten the crooked picture on your wall and snap off your blaring TV set. Librans love people, but they hate large crowds. Like gentle doves of peace, they go around mediating and patching up quarrels between others; still they enjoy a good argument themselves. They're good-natured and pleasant, but they can also be sulky, and they balk at taking orders. Librans are extremely intelligent. At the same time, they're incredibly naive and gullible. They'll talk your ear off, yet they're wonderfully good listeners. Librans are restless people. But they seldom rush or hurry. Are you completely confused? You're not alone. There's a frustrating inconsistency to this Sun sign that puzzles the Librans themselves as much as it does others.

Lots of people will tell you that Libra is all love and beauty and sweetness and light. That's fine, as far as it goes, but it stops a little short of accuracy. It also stops short of Eugene O'Neill. Just because the sign is symbolized by the golden scales of justice, don't ever think that Librans are always perfectly balanced. It seems to be a logical deduction. After all, the purpose of scales is to balance. However, did you ever watch the balancing process on a pair of old-fashioned pharmaceutical scales? The ultimate goal is to get both sides even, but what happens? First one side is low, then the other. Up and down, and they dip until there's perfect balance. Drop into a friendly neighborhood pharmacy and watch them in action. (Just tell the druggist you're trying to find out what makes Aunt Martha tick.)

Never again will you have a mental picture of a Libran as a calm, perfectly balanced, sweet, gracious and charming individual. You'll have a mental picture of a person who has that kind of disposition
half
the time. The other half of the time, Libra can be annoying, quarrelsome, stubborn, restless, depressed and confused. Libra is first up, then down. He swings one way, then another. Suddenly, like the scales—perfect balance! It's heavenly. But there is always that period of weighing and dipping before the moment of heavenly balance is achieved.

The physical appearance of these people may require almost as much concentration as the personality. There's no such thing as a typical Libra feature, unless it's the Venus dimple. Libran features are almost always even and well-balanced. They're pleasing, but not very noticeable, so it's easier to start with the dimples. There will usually be a couple in the cheeks or one in the chin. If they're not in the face, you might check to see if the knees are dimpled. Many Libran knees are. But be careful. Very few women will believe you when you tell them you were staring at their knees “because I want to see if you were born in October.” Be discreet, but check. With the men, of course, the trousers rule out that clue, unless you're on the beach or playing tennis. Don't get discouraged if you find dimples, and then discover the person was
not
born in October. Those fetching dimples have a right to be there, because he or she will have a Libra ascendant, so your guess is still correct.

After you've ruled the Venus dimples in or out, notice the entire effect of the face. It will always wear a markedly pleasant expression. Even when the Libran is angry, somehow he or she will manage to look mild, or at the very least, neutral. Venus voices are typically sweet and clear as a bell, and these people seldom raise them to a shrill or bellowing pitch. A Libran is the only person on earth who can say, “I hate you and I'm going to punch you in the nose,” and sound as if he's reciting Browning's “How Do I Love Thee?” The mouth is usually bow-shaped, and the lips would have been described in Gibson girl days as “lips like cherry wine.” In fact, the typical Libra face reminds you of nothing so much as a box of bonbons. Or a sugar cookie. Some of them look like human lollipops, or a caramel sundae topped with rich, whipped cream. They like to eat those things, too, and if any Librans are reading this, they're probably weak with hunger by now.

The women are almost invariably pretty, and the men are usually handsome. Still, not all of the beautiful people in the world are Librans; Venus beauty is in a class by itself, and it's not always easy to separate it from the good looks of other Sun signs. My own secret way to recognize them is to begin by thinking about the sweet expressions of Jimmy Carter and Catherine Zeta-Jones, and then go on from there. The trouble is that sometimes the women will look like Carter and the men like Zeta-Jones. You have to make allowances.

I'm not implying that the Libra woman is masculine. Most of them are about as female as the average man can stand (unless there's an aggressive ascendant). And I certainly do not imply that Libra men are feminine. They're usually quite virile male animals. But there's no denying that they have a purity of feature that keeps you from getting them mixed up with prize fighters or wrestlers. Even the rare Libran who might be called ugly, and it will be most unusual to find one, has such a charming expression, you're persuaded to comment that there's real beauty of character in his (or her) face.

You'll never meet a Libran who doesn't have a smile like a soft, white cloud. That Venus smile could melt a chocolate bar at twenty paces. When it hits you full force, it has enough candle power to transfigure even plain or downright homely features—literally, not figuratively.

Most Librans are full of curves, rather than angles. Their hair is often curly. They're not necessarily fat (though a Taurus ascendant can produce some pretty plump pigeons). Still, they can fool you, go on a diet and cut quite a trim figure. But even so, the curves will be there in spots, rather like a slim hourglass shape. Using Catherine Zeta-Jones once more as an example, one certainly could not call her fat—but could one call her skinny? Best to call her curvy. There's one more trick in mastering the Venus appearance and physical characteristics. You'll notice a bright, lilting laugh, that rings with merriment. Once you've heard it, you won't soon forget it.

Now you might think that to be born attractive and dimpled, to seek fairness and loveliness, to be pleasing and easily pleased, is a blessing. You might imagine that gentleness and intelligence, grace and understanding are the gifts of a fairy godmother. You might be right. When the Libra scales are balanced, it's utterly delightful, like meeting an angel from paradise. The problem is that fairy godmother. She keeps rapping one side of the scales with her wand and then the other, making Libra dip back and forth. She can't seem to make up her fickle mind whether she made a mistake or not, and she passed her indecision on to Librans. First they'll talk up a storm and monopolize the conversation. Then they'll listen intently, with flattering interest. When others are fighting, they'll play the role of peacemaker, and smooth everyone's ruffled feathers. Then they'll turn right around, deliberately take the other side in discussion, and start an argument for the pure relish of it.

They seek harmony. Yet, lots of Librans indulge in excessive eating, drinking or love-making, completely upsetting the cookie cart, not to mention throwing harmony out of kilter. In fact, you'll come across a few Librans who will remind you of Dr. Doolittle's “push me-pull you” animal.

The Sun sign itself is known as Lazy Libra, and that's another inconsistency. For days, weeks or months on end, Librans can be too busy to play. They'll burn gallons of midnight oil, then rise and shine in time to hear the rooster crow. It wears you out just to watch them. Suddenly, they'll plop down into a chair, say, “I'm bushed,” and give the best imitation of laziness you've ever seen (especially after all that frenzied activity). Once they've plopped, you won't catch them moving a muscle if they can help it. It will be an effort for them to pick up a spoon or raise a glass (though they will manage). If there's anyone around who's willing, they'll expect to be waited on, hand and foot. When the scales have dipped down toward lethargy, you couldn't move Libra with a steam shovel. He'll talk, read, yawn, snooze, watch TV or stare out the window, and seem barely able to make it into the bedroom (though he'll manage). All the nagging and shouting in the world won't impress him. It's as if he were in another world. After a period, when he's recouped his forces, he'll feel a spurt of energy, get up, and start chugging down the track again. His nose will go back to the grindstone, and his hands and feet will fly. Once more, he'll work like a mule in harness, keeping a miraculous balance and a steady, even pace, as he harmoniously plans his chores with efficient ease. Although Libra is not a dual sign, most of their friends think they know two different people. Try to tell someone who has frequently seen a Libran in the midst of an upswing that Libra is lazy, and he'll stare at you blankly. Conversely, if you try to tell someone who has been exposed to the Libra lassitude that this creature is a bundle of powerful drive, he'll retort with, “That lazy bum? You must be kidding.”

Librans know instinctively that to restore harmony to the body, they must alternate their active spells with complete rest. Their personal arrangement of genes and cells and electrical impulses demand it, and most of them are pretty adept at managing this delicate physical balance. However, harmony of the mind and emotions isn't always as instinctive with them. They can weep with overflowing sentiment, turn sharply sarcastic, then be as bright and cheerful as the first robin in spring. It's not at all the duality of Gemini. The Libran is constantly dipping deeply into one emotion and then the other by turns, which isn't the same thing as the complete change of character of the Gemini twins. There's a deep richness to Libra's emotions, no matter which emotion is high or low at a given moment, and a philosophic approach to both sorrows and joys that seldom fails to smooth things out eventually.

An instinct for sanity keeps most Librans mentally healthy and physically fit. Usually, they avoid serious breakdowns of body and mind. The biggest threat to their health is over indulgence of some kind. Eating sweets can bring on obesity, stomach disorders and mottled skin. Excessive use of alcohol can cause severe kidney and bladder disturbances, which in turn result in violent headaches of migraine intensity. Giving in to depression can cause itchy sensations in the skin and even boils. The breast area is a sensitive part of the body, and sometimes there are foot problems and intestinal disorders though these aren't as common. Ulcers beset many a Libran, not from worry as much as from abuse of the digestive system and the topsy-turvy emotional make-up. Generally, Librans are healthier than most people, unless they push themselves too hard, and forget to take those necessary rest periods. The effect of peace and harmony on Venus health is miraculous. When they're ill, they need enormous amounts of prolonged rest, with no discordant emotional situations to plague them, pleasant books, soft music and soothing words. Such an atmosphere rarely fails to put the typical Libran back on his feet quickly.

The Libra character is made up of just about equal parts of kindness, gentleness, fairness, plain cussed argumentativeness, stubborn refusal to capitulate, philosophical logic and indecision. It's best to examine these ingredients in detail. The argumentativeness, for instance. A Libran will argue with you about what time it is, if he thinks your watch is two seconds off. Don't try to get away with a generalization like: “Teenagers are ruining the country.” You'll get a logical, careful dissertation about the Peace Corps and how many wonderful youngsters there are in the world, even if his own children are defiant drop-outs. Make a remark like, “The law is so corrupt today that all judges and lawyers are dishonest,” and he'll go on for hours about the divine protection of justice in this country, the virtues of the jury system and the problems of law-makers, going back to Roman law and continuing through the Code Napoleon. Never say casually, “It's foolish to live in the city when you can live in the country. There's no comparison.” That last phrase especially is a huge mistake. Just mention the word comparison, and the average Libran is off and running. He can compare all night long, with refreshments at intervals. He'll extol the beauties and advantages of the cities compared to rural areas: describe the bright lights, honking taxi horns, theaters, museums and parks in glowing terms—even if he himself lives in suburbia and you couldn't blast him out with dynamite. It wouldn't make a bit of difference if you took the opposite view in any of these cases. The Libran would then expound on the rising teenage crime rate, the corruption of the courts and the joys of country living. He doesn't really care which side he takes in a good argument, as long as it's the other side. Sometimes, if he gets bored, he can switch sides in the middle. Tell him you like a movie and he'll tell you what's wrong with it. Criticize it and he'll praise it. Rave about a new book and he'll list its shortcomings. If you found it dull, he'll point out its virtues. Throughout all this constant, logical deduction, the Libran will try to remain fair. Libra dreads the appearance of prejudice, unjust accusation and blind faith equally. What he seeks is the real truth, the exact balance that gives the correct answer, after weighing all possibilities.