Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (50 page)

I don't want to discourage you, but Sagittarius men have this odd habit. They leap on a big, white horse, and go charging through the streets, waving a sword and defending causes. Then they have another idiosyncrasy. They tumble around like clowns in a circus, indiscriminately mixing with the elephants and the bearded lady, gaily scooping up cotton candy.

He can be captured with certain maneuvers. But first you've got to get him down off that white horse, away from those elephants, and of course the bearded lady has to go. Causes and circuses don't leave much time for family life, let alone sentimental hand-holding.

You have one thing going for you right away. So many Sagittarians charge around and tumble through life that you'll have plenty to choose from. Remember the Victor Herbert refrain: “Give me some men, who are stout-hearted men, who will fight for the right they adore; Start me with ten, who are stout-hearted men, and I'll soon give you ten thousand more!”? It happens like that. The idealistic enthusiasm and curiosity of a Sagittarian man is contagious. Of course, sometimes his innocent exuberance can get a little out of hand. Like he'll throw you up in the air in a moment of mad, impetuous exhilaration—and forget to catch you.

There's almost always a crowd around him. That's another obstacle. You'll have to push your way through all those people to get near him. But don't get pessimistic—because this man is an optimist supreme. He's so optimistic, if his enemies mailed him a huge carton of manure, he wouldn't be offended. He'd just figure they forgot to include the horse. That kind of optimism can be dangerous. It's really just another term for blind faith. The Sagittarian man has stacks of it. Now, blind faith is fine. I'm all for it, being a fire sign myself. But it can lead to trusting with such naive belief that he frequently falls into puddles. It's easy to fall into puddles when you're running with a bow and arrow, always looking up in the sky for some high goal no one else has ever had the courage to aim for—or no one else ever had the lack of common sense to try to reach.

Trusting is great, but trusting the wrong people can slow down even a race horse. In the strict sense of the word, he's not a misty dreamer. His dreams are always scrutinized by Jupiter's intelligent logic and compelling curiosity. If they stand up under the frank investigation of a Sagittarian, they're probably as practical as they are wild, even if the world isn't quite ready for them. Once he's established that there's some hope of fulfillment, he lugs out his paint pots and colors his practical dreams with the most vivid and courageous imagination this side of the designers of the Edsel. But the fuddy duddies are always waiting to stomp on progressive ideas and strangle them before they've had the chance to prove themselves, and you know how many fuddy duddies there are around.

His soaring imagination can cause him to fall down or go busted. But wonderfully, Lady Luck has a way of rescuing him just in time. This man is usually so lucky, it's disgusting and illegal. He could go prospecting in the hills, bring back a bag of rocks, find out they're not gold, cry awhile, then discover they're uranium. If you pick up that shiny object at your feet near the subway grating, it will be a piece of tinfoil from an old chewing gum wrapper. If he picks it up, it will be a chip from the Hope Diamond Harry Winston dropped when he was hailing a cab.

Naturally, with that kind of luck, he's optimistic. There's always that day when a rock is a rock and tinfoil is tinfoil, but the typical Sagittarian recovers quickly from such crushing blows. Your Jupiter man is very much that way about love. He's lucky. When he isn't, he recovers quickly. He discriminates against dishonesty, but that's about all, which is why he has so many friends and well-wishers. He looks beyond the external appearance of people for a truer, more intrinsic value. Not that he doesn't have enemies. There are a few, but far less than the number accumulated by other Sun signs. People who have been stung by his frank remarks may glare at him and feel like strangling him, but they usually come around to realizing his harmless intent. The sin of the Sagittarian male is tactlessness and thoughtlessness, never deliberate cruelty.

You may have discovered by now that his speech is as direct as his symbolic arrow. He can say outrageous things, and if you're in love with him, he may get away with it. But you'll have every right to take offense when a Sagittarian man who has just met you gazes at you frankly with his bright, alert eyes and remarks that you're just the kind of woman a man would choose for a mistress. Just as you're ready to clobber him, he'll get an innocent, boyish look on his face, and explain with disarming candor that what he really meant was, well, the kings and aristocracy back in the middle ages married for convenience. Their wives, therefore, were often ugly, drab creatures, with good blood lines. But their mistresses were beautiful and brilliant, the kind of women they would have chosen to fall in love with and marry, if the rules had been different. He's been reading up on it, because he's always been curious about that particular period. You may calm down, and even feel a little smug. You'll also be impressed. How many men spend hours reading history when they don't have to do it? He might even be a genius. Just think, you could be the wife of an intellectual! Wrong. You could be the mistress of an intellectual. By the time he has you ga-ga over his brain, you won't realize that, had your reaction been agreeable to his original proposition—and make no mistake, that's what it was—he would have moved in fast, and you would be a fallen woman.

Of course, not every female would accept such a fumbling explanation of an obvious pass; but it doesn't matter. Even after his victims explode in indignation, they return to be the Sagittarian's close friends again, when their anger cools. That should show you just how much danger you're in with this apparently harmless chap. With that candid, naive grin, he doesn't bear the faintest resemblance to a wolf. He looks more like a Boy Scout troop leader.
But he is not a boy scout in romantic matters.
It would pay to keep that in mind when he asks you to go hiking.

The Sagittarius male lives his romantic life on a surface level, but he's honest about it. (After all, if you'll brush those sentimental cobwebs out of your ears, you'll remember he did say mistress. He did not say wife. He is not a king. And these are not medieval times.) Sagittarius seeks casual relationships, and sometimes they can get so casual, they're downright promiscuous. Occasionally, the shenanigans of an archer can put a Scorpio to shame, and I promise you it takes a great deal to put a Scorpio to shame.

Let's get back to his honesty. It's a safer subject. If you've learned through bitter experience how fickle other men's vows of eternal devotion can be, you'll welcome his frankness. You won't even flinch when he tells you how many affairs he's had, and what he expects of this one with you, all very clearly and logically. He won't knowingly tie a legal knot with a lie in his heart or on his lips, but somehow, he can get himself involved in a flirtation which tangles itself into a proposal (possibly from the woman, not him), and have to run like sixty to avoid the altar. Since he's a little clumsy, he may trip, and she'll catch him before he gets too far away. In that event, he'll think it over and illogically decide that, since she appealed to him in one way—either physically or mentally, no matter which—she'll eventually appeal to him the other way. He'll give in, get married, and the seeds for another Sagittarian divorce have been planted. His normally dependable reasoning powers seem to desert him when he's romantically trapped.

Women often misinterpret the attitude of a Sagittarian, and think the relationship is more serious than it really is, and this same quality also sometimes makes it appear that he seeks a dark liaison, when he's only after a light, non-physical friendship, or just a pal to run around with. It seems the archer loses both ways. But he's lucky, and most of his messes turn out straight. He's a flirt, that can't be denied, but he's not looking for sex alone. He likes variety and mental stimulation. If a woman gets sticky when he was only diverting himself, he'll try to pass the whole thing off as a joke. She may definitely miss the punch line. (Remember how unsuccessful the typical Sagittarian is with jokes.) Lots of Sagittarians get accused of making passes at every good-looking co-worker or pretty woman they see—sometimes even the little old woman who sells newspapers on the corner, or a female police officer. Now, no man in his right mind would seriously flirt with a lady policeman—at least, not while she's on duty—so you can see that unjustified suspicion is annoying to the archer. In all fairness, most of the time, he was just being breezily friendly.

If you're a smart woman, who uses her head for something besides the trendiest hairstyle—and you'd better be, because these men insist on intelligence in a woman—you'll have caught on by now. Don't be jealous. Don't be suspicious. Give him lots of rope if you want to hang him eventually. Don't question him, weep, nag or threaten to leave him. Smother him with freedom. Imagine how refreshing that would be to him. If you take life in the same spirit he does, and take people as you find them, you have the basic requirements of being his kind of wife-woman. As long as you're basically honest with each other, flying kites together can be a ball. Why worry about when they'll hit the ground? They look so beautiful and free, soaring up there in the sky. No, you don't have to give this man everything he wants to get him. Just
be
what he wants. Be wide-awake—let him direct and dominate your energies. Love sports. Go camping with him and take your St. Bernard along for a chaperone. Be generous, affectionate, enthusiastic, and don't try to keep him locked up in your pantry making fudge every night. Make it clear he can't keep you all to himself, either. Let him know you're a free spirit, just as he is. Never throw water on his fiery ideas, and keep yourself busy with other things while he's out shooting his arrows at impossible targets. That way, he'll tell you honestly some lovely night that you are just about everything he needs in a woman. Once he's gone that far, then tell him just as frankly that he's okay in your book, too, but it's time to make a decision. Point out that you like him so much you'd even consider marrying him, if he'd promise not to interfere with your freedom. Otherwise, you really don't have any more time to camp around with him. It's a shame, you're so compatible, but you've always been curious what it would be like to have children. Motherhood is a new kite you'd like to fly. Be sure to arrange for an old flame to call you on the phone in the middle of your speech. Accept the date casually, in front of your archer. When you hang up, smile brightly and remark that there's no reason why you can't still be good friends. Then invite him to come along on your date, so he won't have to sit around all by himself. That should do it. (You're welcome!)

After you're married, you probably won't have in-law trouble. Many Sagittarians are shockingly disinterested in family ties. They don't accept the theory of loving blood relations unless they deserve loving. Even those who are fond of their parents and brothers or sisters manage to keep a healthy distance. They visit and show warm affection, but they never expect relatives to interfere with their private lives. Better see that your own relatives don't meddle, either.

Keep your suitcase packed. You'll be doing a lot of traveling. You'll still want to take the St. Bernard along on camping trips—not as a chaperone anymore, but because your new husband loves animals. (Tell the dog it's okay now, he doesn't have to stand guard outside the tent flap.) Keep yourself busy and give him as many nights out as he needs. Never question his honesty. When he's in a temper, the archer can break down a door, or punch a hole through a wall. He's just letting off steam, but it does make a lot of work, and how many times can you call the plasterer? It's a lot easier on everyone's nerves not to accuse him of a lack of integrity in the first place. When he does something wrong, he'll almost surely tell you. That will be hard enough to take, without worrying about imaginary things. Practice facing his frankness, if that tomorrow ever comes, and be prepared to know he still loves you, instead of chasing after false rumors today. Be as practical as he is about human emotions. You'll be surprised how strong love can grow in such honest soil. Truth has a way of encouraging permanence in a relationship.

You'll have to put in some hours being a Polly-put-the-kettle-on woman. Since he's a sports fan, he'll probably expect you to watch all the big games on TV with him. But he'll also take you along to all his many social activities if you're pretty and fun and you like people. Sagittarians can't stand droopy clinging women, who aren't good mixers. He'll be proud of any special talents you have, and do try to have one or two. Read lots of books, and be prepared to defend a few of his causes, especially the lost ones.

He may be a little extravagant, and he'll like an occasional game of chance, but the same impulse will make him pretty generous about your spending money, if he's a typical archer. He probably won't mind if you want to work to buy yourself extras.

Expect a little forthright criticism, often painfully lacking in tact. You should be used to it by now. Let it pass. You'll be busy enough patching up the damage with his friends. You're supposed to understand him, remember? You gave him that, the night you forced the issue.