Liquid Fear (16 page)

“These are the same pills,” Roland said, avoiding looking around Wendy’s apartment because he was afraid of how much she’d changed without him.

“How the hell do you know?” Wendy said. “A green pill is a green pill. Unless you want to have the cops run a test.”

“Be cool, Wendy,” Alexis said. “If this is what we think it is—”

“No. If we go down that road, we don’t come back.”

Alexis, sitting on the sofa beside Wendy, took a tight grip on Wendy’s forearms and pulled her hands from her face. “We can’t hide anymore.”

Wendy was nearly in tears, and Alexis was afraid if the dam burst, there would be no patching the pieces back together. The friends had drifted apart after Susan’s death, but that had been an instinctive act of survival, not a conscious decision.

They had all stayed aware of one another, bound by the understanding that they held a collective fate in their hands. Any of them could break the code of silence at any time. But none of them seemed to remember it in exactly the same way.

Roland, standing by the locked door, shook his head at Alexis. His sudden appearance had served to unsettle Wendy even more. And, just like during the trials, Alexis now felt responsible, as if she’d let things go too far through her own fascination with untapped landscapes of the brain.

“All right, Wendy,” Alexis said, hating herself for lapsing into the cold, academic bitch she knew slept inside her. “Let’s look at the facts. We each got the same vial with the same pills and the same prescription. And you said Anita got them, too. That makes four of us.”

“Where’s David Underwood, then?” Wendy said.

“Right here,” Roland said, and they both glared at him. He fumbled in his back pocket and pulled out his license and flipped it toward Alexis. It knocked over the three pill bottles they had placed on the coffee table.

Alexis retrieved it from the carpet and studied it. Roland’s face and David Underwood’s name.

“He’s back,” Alexis said.

“But why?” Wendy said. “He’s got more to lose than any of us.”

“You know why,” Roland said.

Wendy burst from the couch and lunged at him, delivering a solid slap to his cheek. He reacted in time to catch her wrist as she began clawing at his eyes.

“Don’t blame me because you fucked him,” Roland said. “I forgave you, remember?”

“Oh, hell, no, you didn’t,” Wendy said, shrieking and kicking. “If you forgive, you’re supposed to
forget
!”

Alexis hurried to help Roland restrain her, but Wendy seemed to have the strength of ten, just like the drug-war horror stories about arrests of criminals high on angel dust. But Wendy was fueled by an even deeper toxin: her own rage, fear, and shame.

Alexis took an elbow in the abdomen before trapping one of Wendy’s arms, and by then Roland had wrapped her in a bear hug and was carrying her to the bedroom. “Grab something to tie her with, quick!”

Alexis opened the hall closet and found a couple of scarves dangling from a coat rack, along with an Ace bandage on the shelf. She carried them to the bedroom, where a wailing Wendy was now pinned to the bed by her ex, who straddled her and dodged her kicks. Heeding an unspoken command, she secured Wendy’s feet at the ankles with the Ace bandage, then helped Roland bind her wrists.

Wendy let loose a stream of expletives loud enough to be heard outside the apartment.

“You fucking bastard,” Wendy yelled at Roland. “I knew I should have got a restraining order.”

“Like a piece of paper’s going to undo the past?”

“Roland, please,” Alexis said, pissed off at having to be the responsible one. “She’s vulnerable right now and everything’s raw. You know what the trials do.”

“‘Do’? You say that like they’re still going on.”

Alexis ignored him, leaning over Wendy to stroke her hair. “Hush, honey, or we’ll have to use this scarf on your mouth, and we don’t want to do that.”

“Bitch,” Wendy said, and spat.

Alexis wiped the gob of saliva from her forehead, triggering a flash of recollection:
Susan, nearly biting her face when Alexis had tried to calm her down.

“Do it,” Roland said. “She’s no help in this condition, anyway.”

Alexis wrapped the scarf around one palm and aimed toward Wendy’s thrashing head. Roland was still perched atop her in an odd position that suggested sexual domination, but Alexis shook the image away and concentrated on her task. Wendy emitted one last scream before Alexis wriggled the impromptu, clumsy gag in place.

“Okay, now get me some duct tape,” Roland said. “Look in her art stuff. She always has some around.”

By the time Alexis had found the roll of gray tape and returned to the room, Wendy was a little more subdued. Roland took the tape from Alexis and held it close to Wendy’s wide, dark eyes. “You know I’ll use this if I have to,” he said, a startling menace behind his words. “I’ve done it before.”

Wendy closed her eyes and fell still, her chest rising and falling rapidly in her exertion.

“God, Roland, it’s all happening again,” Alexis said. “We’re not like this, are we? Please, God, don’t let us be like this.”

“That never happened,” he said, getting off the bed. “No matter what anybody says, we could never commit murder.”

“She fell, didn’t she?”

“Sure. That’s what I heard. What about you?”

Alexis felt herself nodding, although it was the motion of a marionette directed by high, unseen strings. “It was an accident.”

He glanced at his watch. “I’m fifteen minutes past due. Better take my medicine. Or else.”

Wendy’s phone rang in the living room. They both looked at her, restrained on the bed. The trials had barely begun and already she looked a manic wreck.

She might be the next Susan
, Alexis thought, relishing a shiver of triumph.
Not me.

“Should we answer it?” Roland asked her.

She was pleased at the deference. Despite his male strength and suppressed anger, she was the acknowledged leader. The graduate assistant all over again. The responsible one. She only hoped she could do a better job this time.

“Sure,” she heard herself say. “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

“And each other.”

She let that one pass.

“We lost our man,” Burchfield said, closing his cell phone. “So much for eyes on the ground.”

“What happened?” Wallace Forsyth said, only half-listening. He’d been staring off at the tip of the Washington Monument in the distance, wondering why no terrorist had ever targeted it.

They were on their way along Pennsylvania Avenue to a caucus meeting, and since Forsyth was not yet a registered lobbyist, he was free to wield his influence as he wished.

He was a little old for a cabinet position, but if Burchfield took the White House, Forsyth wouldn’t mind an advisory role. Somebody had to keep an eye on the Supreme Court, after all.

“He touched base after shaking down Mark Morgan, said he was heading for reconnaissance of the Monkey House posing as a jogger,” Burchfield said. “It must have gone bad. Either that, or he got some goods and jumped ship.”

Forsyth snapped alert. “You mean, he stole Halcyon?”

Burchfield nodded. “You never served on the health committee, but these companies run high-stakes con games on each other all the time. That’s why there’s so much pressure to beat everybody else to a patent, because usually everybody’s neck and neck. There are more spies in the corporate world than in the world of political espionage.”

“Your own staff member would double-cross you like that?”

“Sure, if the price was right. And he’s not just on my payroll, he’s officially on the books as a CIA consultant. We’re not the only ones who work both sides of the fence. It’s a pain in the ass, but we’re all grazing the same pasture.”

Wallace grunted. “That’s what’s wrong with Washington these days. You can’t even buy loyalty anymore.”

Burchfield thumbed his phone, clicking out a text message. “Riordan probably had some loyalty that ran deeper than a dollar. These agents sometimes forget which side of the fence they’re on.”

“What would he do with Halcyon if he had it?”

“The CIA would hustle it over to whichever company they’re in bed with this time. CelQuest, Genesis Laboratories, BTDM, could be any one of the majors. They crack the compound and roll it into whatever they are already doing, so it looks like a new discovery. No proof that the formula was stolen, because it’s a new formula.”

“You don’t sound too worried about it.”

“Riordan will be easy to find. When a donkey breaks out of its pen, it usually stands around just beyond the fence, not understanding it’s now free. The fence is what defines him, no matter which side he’s on. Riordan will jump back through the same old hoops again and he’ll turn up before you know it.”

“And the other option?”

Burchfield concentrated on his text, hit “Send,” and looked at Forsyth for the first time since they’d left his Georgetown condo. “That would be the one I’m worried about. It means Briggs is on the ball and won’t be so easy to maneuver. He knows what his drugs can do…and that this is a legacy-maker.”

“I thought this Briggs fellow was damaged goods. He doesn’t have any career.”

“That’s why he’s dangerous. He has nothing to lose. And Riordan is a desk jockey, a corporate snoop, not a muscle guy. His cover might have been blown, and he wouldn’t have been prepared for violence. Maybe we’re all underestimating Briggs and CRO.”

“I thought Mark Morgan was in your pocket,” Forsyth said. “That gives you CRO.”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t give me Briggs. If the CIA is in on the rage drug, the lid may blow off the volcano.”

“Dear Sweet Lord Almighty,” Forsyth said, instantly grasping the implications. A part of him had thought Burchfield’s Afghanistan plan was a little pie-in-the-sky, but maybe other people were having similar ideas, only with different targets and agendas.

“We need this before any other agencies get their hands on it,” Burchfield said. “I just don’t think we can trust anybody to do the right thing anymore.”

The gleaming dome of the Capitol Building loomed ahead, and despite the traffic, Winston was making good time. Dark limousines slid through the tide like sharks skimming through schools of lower members of the food chain.

“How many other people do you have on the job?” Forsyth asked. He didn’t think Burchfield would trust a lone operative on something this important, though every additional person involved meant a doubling of the risk factor.

“One more, but he’s working through CRO. He flushed Roland Doyle back to the Triangle, just to make sure he didn’t take a detour.”

“You said half a dozen were tied up in this. How come Briggs needs all of them?”

“Everybody reacts differently. Briggs needs to understand the range of reactions if we want any degree of predictability. And I don’t want to let this stuff loose in Al-Qaeda country until I know what’s in Pandora’s box.”

“Hardly seems American, dosing our own boys with this stuff.”

“Think of the greater good, Wallace. Afghanistan will blame Pakistan, and India has to do something. China’s sitting up there waiting. Of course, Israel will stick its bulldog face in the mess. If we’re lucky, we’ve got Muslims killing Hindus and Buddhists killing atheists, and Uncle Sam rides in like the cavalry.”

“It sounds like the revelations,” Forsyth said. “Wars, pestilence, famine, and one horned beast on the seat of power.”

“Damn, Wallace, I’m almost starting to believe you’re sincere. But don’t say that stuff in public. People will label you a wacko and I need you for the presidential run.”

Forsyth gritted his dentures. He’d originally backed Burchfield because Burchfield had promised to allow churches to receive federal funds for charitable purposes, which Forsyth felt was the next step toward getting school prayer before the Supreme Court.

Burchfield hinted that a couple of the more liberal justices were due for some ill health that would force them to step down. Forsyth knew from his own political background that timing was everything when it came to paradigm shifts, and wise use of these potions could help shape the next administration. And in a world weakened by war, that administration could be very influential indeed.

And if Burchfield saw a more prominent role for Christianity in government, such a push was sorely needed. When the angels poured out the seven vials of God’s wrath upon the world, the Lord would need foot soldiers, not just a white horse and a sword and the strong arm of righteousness.

Burchfield pressed the “Call” button on the back of the driver’s seat. Winston’s voice came through a tinny speaker. “Yes, sir?”

“Change of itinerary,” Burchfield ordered. “We’re heading south on I-95.”

“Yes, sir.”

“South?” Forsyth asked.

“North Carolina’s a five-hour drive. We take a plane, everyone will know we’re coming. This way, it’s like a surprise party.”

Forsyth wasn’t sure he liked Burchfield’s grin. But he found himself curious about these mysterious drugs that corrupted people’s minds and eroded their will. When Burchfield had exhausted its military and corporate applications, perhaps it could have a place in Forsyth’s arsenal for the bigger battleground.

After all, Armageddon was also a matter of timing. 

“Help me, hurry, we’re in the factory where we killed Susan.”

Roland stared at the dead cell phone, contemplating several reactions. He wanted to hurl the phone against the wall, but he no longer trusted his instinct. And a small part of him wanted to race into the bedroom and pummel Wendy with his fists. Not for any particular reason he could think of, but just because she was the latest contestant in the Blame Game.

“What was that all about?” Alexis said. She was visibly nervous, picking at her fingernails.

“They have Anita. They’re waiting in the Monkey House.”

Alexis sat down hard. “That place wasn’t real!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Roland said, and she looked at him, blue eyes wide. He realized his hands were clenched into trembling fists and he immediately opened them, cool air enveloping his sweating fingers.

“Sorry,” he said. “It’s happening.”

Alexis pointed to the three pill bottles on the coffee table. “Take your Halcyon. This could get ugly fast.”

“I’m afraid to take it,” he said. “I don’t even know what the hell it is.”

“You’re on Seethe, Roland.”

“Seethe?” The word rang a distant alarm in Roland’s head, but it was in a mental vault he didn’t want to enter.

“The trigger. The drug that stimulates fear response. Seethe shocks the amygdala and floods the nervous system with neurochemicals.”

He couldn’t avoid sarcasm. “Thanks, Doctor. Maybe
you
were sleeping with Briggs, too.”

She was angry, but Roland didn’t care. If she had a hand in all this, maybe she should have been the one to die instead of Susan. But maybe it wasn’t too late to set things right.

“Look, I was just a young researcher fascinated by the potential. I didn’t know what was going on. It all appeared so…legitimate.”

“Since you’re the only one who remembers Seethe, what exactly does this shit do and how can I get it out of my head?”

Alexis rubbed her mouth, face twisted in concentration as she struggled to remember. “He had an injected form back then, but it needed an amplifier. That’s why the trials were set up to shock us, to see how far over the edge we would go.”

“And then he’d give us Halcyon to float us back from la-la land without remembering a thing?”

Alexis nodded. She bit her thumbnail, tearing off a ragged piece. She spat it out and said, “Halcyon is temporary, but Seethe is permanent.”

Roland thought of all his drunken blackouts and wondered what acts he might have committed. He could have been Seething all along and never even known it. “You mean this shit’s been sleeping in our brains for ten years?”

“Briggs has probably been planning this for a long time, and he finally found the backers to help him pull it off.”

“Who are these ‘backers’?”

“I don’t know, but they must have deep resources if they can move us around like chess pieces.”

Roland picked up the closest vial and read: “D. Underwood.”

“What if I got the wrong pills?” Roland said.

What if I killed that woman in Cincinnati? I know I’m capable. Because I helped do it to Susan.

“You need to take it now, Roland,” Alexis said.

“Or else I’ll remember?” he asked.

“Yeah. It could get ugly. And we don’t know what we’ll turn into, what we might become…”

Or what we already are. Like maybe both of us are murderers and we don’t know it
.

“We better tell Wendy,” he said.

“And then we find Anita.”

“No. Goddamn it, can’t you see that’s just what he wants? All his little monkeys back in their cages?”

“We have to stop him.”

“Yeah.” Roland glanced at the door as if expecting arrest just for thinking about it. “The cops are out of it, because we all have normal, happy lives now. Well, except me. And there’s no statute of limitations on murder.”

“I need to call Mark.”

“Mark?”

“My husband.”

“Damn. I forgot.”

“He’s with CRO Pharmaceuticals and they have connections. Maybe we can—”

“What did you say?” The red rage was simmering at the edges of his vision again, like sheets of rain building to a hurricane.

“Mark can help us.”

“CRO,” he said, half to himself. “Those initials were in Cincinnati.”

“Cincinnati? What’s in Cincinnati?”

“The last person I killed.”

She came at him then, her fingernails raised like the talons of a wildcat. “We’re not killers, goddamn it.
Shut up
.”

Wendy’s muffled voice grunted from the bedroom doorway, and she awkwardly ran toward them, hands bound behind her. Her shin hit the coffee table, knocking over the remaining two bottles, and she lowered her head and charged toward Roland like a missile. He fought an urge to drive his knee up into her face.

Instead, he stepped to the side and gave a small shove to her shoulder that sent her sprawling on the carpet. As she rolled over, Alexis jumped him, clinging to his back.

“Get off,” he yelled, bucking and flinging her toward the couch. She fell a little short and slammed into the armrest. She spat out a
whoof
and rolled away, curling into a ball.

Roland backed into a corner and crouched. Now he knew how a caged tiger felt when those maniacs with their whips and chairs closed in.

But he wasn’t going down without taking a piece of—

He looked down at the orange bottle, which he’d gripped so tightly that the plastic was cracked.

Take one every 4 hrs. or else.

“It’s the Seethe,” he whispered.

Then, aloud, so the two women could hear him. “It’s the Seethe!”

A neighbor banged on the wall, the urban demand for “Quiet, goddamn it,” and Roland focused on the throbbing spot where Alexis had banged the back of his head.

The pain helped him calm down. He was clammy, sweating, and hyperventilating, but he’d beaten the Seethe this time.

This time.

He gobbled down his pill and went to untie Wendy.