Live-In Position (47 page)

“You know, I was looking forward to taking this outfit off, not putting it back on,” I deadpanned.

His mouth captured mine. The kiss seared through me. His hands moved down over the suit, teasing me. I wanted to feel his bare fingertips on my skin, not through the material. When he reached my thighs, he dipped down and lifted me around his waist.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be on long.” A boyish grin spread across his mouth.

That was the night I tapped into the inner teenage Doctor Collin Bishop. Said teenager lived out his fantasy and made sure I kept the costume hanging in the closet, “for next time.”

CONNOR WAS SCHEDULED for his bypass two days later. The day of the surgery I promised to meet Collin at the hospital after I took Victoria to school. On our way there, we talked briefly about what was going to happen with her grandfather, telling her only what I thought she would be able to process at her age. She seemed to be in high spirits when I left her in the morning.

Back in the car, it took me a moment to figure out my purse was vibrating. I grabbed my cell from inside just as the call was transferred to voicemail. Looking at the screen, I realized I had five missed calls – one from Rand, one from my father, and three from an unknown number. There were three messages. I hit the number one and then talk before pulling away from St. John’s School.

The first message was my father returning my call, the second was Rand wanting to meet for lunch, and the third message made me drop the phone.

“Crap.” I reached around the floor of the car for the phone until I found it.

Pulling over to the curb, I reached deep into my purse and grabbed a pen and a crumpled envelope. I replayed the message and listened again.

“Miss Ashwood, this is Kevin Stark. I’m an editor with Fine Print Publishing’s children’s division, calling in regards to the manuscript we received. A, uh, ‘Finn: A Mermaid’s Journey.’ Please return my call at your earliest convenience to discuss representation.”

Kevin Stark left his phone number and extension for me to get back to him. I was so excited, but I knew it would have to wait. Connor was going into surgery soon and I promised Collin I would be there. I pulled back out into traffic and drove toward the hospital.

My eagerness beat out the internal battle and I decided I would call Mr. Stark to touch base and to set up a later time when I could speak with him in more detail and without interruptions. I dialed the number.

“Mr. Stark’s office,” a nasally voice answered.

“Um, yes, I’m returning a call from Mr. Stark.”

“Your name?” I pictured her sitting there with her legs crossed, a bored expression on her face, and a fingernail file in her hand.

“Sophia Ashwood.”

“Hold, please.” There was a click followed by classical music. I was close to the hospital and hoped he would answer soon.

“Miss Ashwood?”

“Y-yes,” I swallowed my nerves.

“I am so glad you got back with me. I’ve been trying to reach you for a couple of days now.”

“I’m sorry. There was a family emergency and I’ve been at the hospital.”

“Oh, I apologize. Are you available to speak or do you need a better time?”

“Could we possibly set up a time to talk?” My stomach filled with butterflies.
I shouldn’t have called yet, not until I could talk. He probably thinks I’m an idiot for asking him to schedule a call with me later.

“Of course, how about tomorrow at one in the afternoon. Does that work for you?”

My head ran through what was going on tomorrow and I couldn’t think of anything that would interfere.

“Yes, that’s perfect.” We scheduled a call and then got off the phone. I felt elated.

I arrived at the hospital and hurried to the ICU to find Collin. The Bishop family sat around the waiting room quietly. No one spoke. Allison didn’t even look up from her magazine when I walked toward the group. Larissa was sitting between Ilene and Juliet. I had to wonder how that awkward situation was working out.

“Sophia?” I spun at the sound of his relieved voice. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course I came.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me close for a moment. Pulling back, he moved his arm to my waist.

“They’ll be taking him within the next twenty minutes so if you want to see him, I suggest you go back now,” he addressed his family.

Ilene and Juliet both stood at the same time and then looked at one another. Ilene scowled. Apparently a truce had not been drawn.

“I would like to have a moment with my husband, if
you
don’t mind.” Ilene took a step forward.

“I believe you mean ex-husband,” Juliet quipped, stopping Ilene in her tracks.

Allison looked up from her magazine with a shocked expression.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to see my fiancé for a moment alone, and then you can see him.” Juliet brushed by Ilene’s frozen form and walked through the doors.

Ilene lightly cleared her throat, straightened her shoulders, and trudged forward.

“Mother, um, Ilene,” Allison hissed. She didn’t stop.

“Ilene,” Larissa pleaded. She turned around on both of them.

“I was married to Connor for more years than Juliet has known him. We have three,” she looked sternly at Allison, “
three
children, and just because a piece of paper says all of that doesn’t matter, does not mean I feel that way.” She marched toward the corridor and left the waiting room.

Collin reached out to grab her, but I pulled his arm down. He looked at me curiously. I just shook my head at him.

“Let her go,” I whispered.

THE SURGERY TOOK a couple of hours to complete and then there was an hour of recovery time before he was moved back to his room and allowed visitors. Collin and I were the second pair to see him, after Ilene and Juliet.

His pasty white features had returned, and my heart ached with worry. He assured us he was fine, but it wasn’t enough to put me at ease.

Collin wanted to go out for a late lunch after leaving the hospital so we decided to go down the block. The small café was within walking distance and the weather was perfect for a nice stroll. After we were seated and had ordered, Collin dropped the news.

“Grace called about seeing Victoria.” He looked at me apprehensively.

I only nodded and took a drink from my water glass, letting the cold liquid hydrate my suddenly dry mouth. I knew something had been lingering.

“She heard about my father so she wanted to know if next Friday after school would be okay.” His eyes studied my expressionless face.

After a few more moments of silence, he got irritated. “Are you going to say anything?”

“What do you want me to say?” I shrugged. “She has the right to see her, according to the judge, and it’s your decision. Friday is fine.” I sipped my water again.

The waitress appeared with our food, but I’d suddenly lost my appetite. I hated that she still had access to Victoria, even after all the crap she’d done.

“You know your opinion matters.” I could tell he was still annoyed. I shrugged and pushed my food around with my fork.

“Sophia, look at me.” I raised my head. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I think she shouldn’t be allowed to see her at all, but that’s not my choice.” I angrily shoved a bite into my mouth. He sighed.

“I agree, but there isn’t anything I can do about it.”

“Did I say there was?”

“No, but I feel guilty.”

“Why?”

“Because Grace is her mother, because I let her back into our lives for a period of time, and because I wish
you
were her
real
mother.”

My fork froze halfway to my mouth. I stared at him.

“Let’s get married this weekend,” he blurted out.

I choked on nothing. “Are you insane?”

He didn’t appreciate my response.

“Why not? Do you plan on not being with me, with us?” He sat back roughly in his chair.

“I didn’t say that,” I defended with a groan. “Look, we haven’t been together long. My parents don’t even know…” I closed my mouth tightly.

“You haven’t told your parents about me, about us?” His words were quiet, but I knew it was the quiet before the storm.

“It’s just, I mean, I don’t know how to tell my father without sounding like a whore and…”

“Being with me makes you a whore?” his voice rose.

“Shh,” I hissed.

“Why can’t you get past the fact that you used to be my, our daughter’s nanny? Is it that shameful for you?”

“I’m not ashamed of you.” I dropped my fork to my plate.

“Well, that’s not how it seems,” he countered. “You haven’t told anyone about us, you won’t marry me, and you would be devastated to have my child.”

“That’s not fair,” I spat. “If I had been, damn it, Collin, you know that it was not good timing for a baby, nor is this a good time for us to get married.” He opened his mouth to argue but I kept going.

“Your father just had surgery and will need rehabilitation, which means all of you will have to help him. Then there is my book and—”

“What about your book?” His brow furrowed.

It seemed I was really burying myself today.

“I was going to tell you tonight, after everything was settled with your father.”

“Tell me what?”

“Fine Print Publishing called and wants to discuss publishing my book.” He tossed his napkin on the table and scooted his chair back.

“So you don’t tell your family about our relationship and you don’t tell me about your book. Well, at least now I see why you won’t marry me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” My anger was boiling my insides raw.

“You’ll leave me.” His growl was low, but affirmative.

“What are you talking about? I’m not leaving you.”

“You won’t have book tours or need to travel?” He raised a brow at me.

“You travel all the time. Why would it be different for me?” I argued with a raised voice. People were looking at us.

“I’ll always come back to you,” he spoke softly. “There’s a chance you won’t.”

“Have I ever given you a reason to think that?”

“Not until today.” He threw money on the table and left me sitting there alone.

Stunned, I watched him move quickly out of the restaurant. I dropped my head, tears slipping over my face. My eyes landed on the money he dropped on the table. Maybe it was irrational, maybe I was making too much out of it, but for me, in that moment, the money felt the same as if he had left it on the nightstand of a hotel room. I threw my own money down before I left the restaurant.

I arrived back to the hospital, but instead of going inside, I went straight to the car. Disgust kept building inside. I felt like a kept woman. I drove his car around Seattle trying to calm down and was finally able to get rid of the tears before I picked Victoria up from school.

The moment her eyes landed on me she asked what was wrong. I could only shake my head and help her into the car before driving us back to his house.