Live-In Position (59 page)

“No,” he shook his head, “you’re not leaving us. You’re coming back?” His eyes softened.

“Of course I’m coming back.” I dropped my arms. “Collin, I love you and Victoria. I just needed to breathe, get some space, and figure out how to handle this rift between us.”

He didn’t say a word. Before I could say anything else, we were wrapped in an embrace. His lips pressed against the side of my head, over my cheek, until his path stopped on my lips. Pulling back, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“We’re having a baby?” I nodded. He kissed me again, only this time it was deeper.

Before I could get carried away in the passion mounting between us, I pulled back and looked into his face.

“I’m coming home, but I don’t think we should get married.”

His smile dropped. “But…so you don’t want to marry me?”

I sighed. “Collin, we can’t agree to marry until we work everything out between us.”

“But we’re having a baby. We are getting married. Sophia, I want to be married before the child comes. I want you to be my wife when this child,” his hand splayed across my stomach, “comes into the world.”

Covering his hand with both of mine, I smiled. “I want my book career, and that means traveling. I won’t fight with you every time I need to be away.”

“It’s solved then,” he shrugged with a smirk.

I pursed my lips at him in disbelief. “Just because you say that, doesn’t make it true.”

“Sophia, I don’t ever want to treat you or Victoria the way I did in New York. I love you too much to lose you the way I did.” Tears slipped over his cheeks.

“You didn’t lose me.”

He shook his head.

“Yes, I did. You ran home to get away from me.” I opened my mouth but he stopped me. “I get it and have realized the difference. This time when you left, there was really a chance you wouldn’t come back. It was so different from the traveling. I’ve been a fool, an idiot.”

“That still doesn’t solve my traveling and your insecurity about it.”

“I’ll just come with you.”

“And when you can’t? When we have to be apart, then what?”

He sighed heavily. “I may be a grouch about it, but I will have to learn to deal with it. Like I told you, I now know what it’s like for you to leave with the uncertainty of your return.”

“I was coming back.” I cupped his face and wiped away the leftover tears.

“But I didn’t think you were. This was different. It was devastating.”

I kissed him. I kissed him with all the reassurance I could produce. It would take time and a bit more talking, but we would overcome this hurdle.

Two days later, we were back in Seattle. Before we left Tacoma, Collin agreed we needed to sit and talk about everything when we got home. Things were better, but there was still so much to figure out. Victoria was staying with Larissa so Collin and I could settle things.

My hormones were raging more and more with each passing day, and his intense good looks didn’t help the matter. When Collin walked in for dinner in a simple ensemble of jeans and an old gray college t-shirt, I had to bite back the desire firing up inside of me. It wasn’t until the middle of dinner that our discussion finally moved beyond pleasantries and social discussion.

“So you still feel we shouldn’t get married.” He hadn’t really asked as a question, but I knew it was.

“I just don’t think it’s the right time.” I sat back into the lacquered mahogany chair and met his gaze.

“I want to marry you. Please, Sophia, think of our child.”

“That’s one of the many things I am thinking of,” I countered.

He sighed. “We‘ve already discussed your traveling. I will have to work at it, but I know it will get much better with time.” He leaned his elbows onto the dinner table.

“What about your control issues?” I raised one eyebrow at him.

“I don’t try to control you,” he protested.

“Oh?” I gave a half grin and a shake of my head, “Remember my Jeep, or when you moved my room, or practically forbidding me to travel?”

“All of that is in the past.” He waved it off and leaned back.

“You don’t think that demanding things from me or getting furious when I make a decision isn’t controlling? Do you even realize how much it hurt to have you throw in my face that I’m not Victoria’s mother?”

He grimaced at my words.

“It crushed me, and it hurt her too. You got angry and threw it in my face because you didn’t have control of the situation. Then there was the night we were arguing in the kitchen and you brushed me off like a child, until I wasn’t so ‘defensive.’ If I dismissed you like that, you would lose it.”

His head dropped and his eyes closed.

“I’ve never had to be any other way.” He barely said the words loud enough for me to hear. “But,” his eyes came up and met mine, “I want to change for you.”

When he pushed back from the table I sat up straighter. In the next moment he was on his knees in front of me. I pressed my back into the chair.

“I know how much you‘ve compromised to be with me, how much you‘ve endured with amazing poise.” He smiled sweetly. “It’s my turn to do that for you. I love you, Sophia Ashwood. Please, please do me the honor of becoming Sophia Bishop?”

The smell of his shaving cream wafted into my nostrils and made my body tingle. His hands on my knees were sending hot waves between my legs. As I tried to focus and respond to him, my imagination ran wild with thoughts of him and me on the dining room table.

“I…you…” My mind was spinning, and my heart was melting to a mushy pile of goo, telling my head to shut it. “There is still so…I don’t want to be a fat bride,” I blurted out.

“Is that a yes?” His crooked smile was the last straw.

Nodding, I leaned down and captured his mouth with mine. His hands slid over my thighs to my hips. He pulled me to the edge of the chair, breaking our kiss. The warmth of his lips lingered on my skin as he trailed a path down my chest and over my collarbone.

“That’s how I should have proposed to you,” he mumbled against my skin.

I fisted the hair at the back of his neck and pressed my open mouth to his. We kissed passionately as our hands roamed each other’s body. The dining room table was put to good use, just as I’d imagined.

Collin sat naked on a dining room chair while I snuggled against his chest, straddling his lap. Our breathing had calmed, but the chaos of our tossed clothing still littered the floor. I pressed my lips to his chest muscle and hummed in contentment.

“You don’t want to be a fat bride, huh?” His chest shook with his silent laughter.

“Why would I want to put on a wedding dress with a stomach the size of a globe?” I brought my head up from his chest.

“But you aren’t opposed to marrying me?”

I shrugged, and he tickled my sides. “I guess not.”

“Marry me in two weeks?” The longing and excitement mixed in his emerald eyes was endearing.

“You’re insane.” I pushed from his lap to get dressed, but he pulled me back down.

“I’m serious. If I can arrange it, will you do it?” His eyes searched my face.

“No,” I shook my head.

“Why?” his brow furrowed.

“It’s too soon. We just talked everything over and—”

“Do you want to leave me?”

“Of course not, but—”

“Do you believe I won’t change?”

“I, uh, I don’t know.” I dropped my face.

“Answer me.” His soft words were matched by the softness of his touch. He brought my face back up to look at him.

“Yes, I’m worried… I’m worried you won’t be able to keep your promises and you will get angry if I don’t do everything your way.” The honesty poured from my lips like smooth malt liquor.

“There is nothing I could want more than to be with you. Do you know that?”

I bit my lip and nodded.

“Okay, then marry me.”

“Collin,” I groaned and attempted to get up again.

“Sophia,” he imitated me. I smacked his chest playfully. He grabbed my hands and held them to his chest. “I love you and will never risk losing you again. Marry me?”

I thought for a few seconds and then gave in, “Okay.”

Our lips met. The thrill of my answer spurred a growing intensity into our kiss. It didn’t take long for my body to react to him, but instead of the table, this time we didn’t leave the antique dining chair.

With my head once again on his chest and our breathing labored, a small twinge of worry crept into my stomach.
Did I really just agree to marry him in two weeks?

C
hapter
T
hirty

-EIGHT

THE VERY NEXT morning, Collin was on his cell phone making wedding arrangements. After I returned from picking Victoria up from Larissa and Max’s house, he motioned for me to go into the dining room.

Ilene and Felicity Dane were bent over the table, going through magazines, catalogues, binders, samples of materials—everything wedding-related under the moon. Felicity smiled widely and stood to greet me, but before she could speak, Ilene cut her off.

“I’m so glad you’re back.” She moved quickly to my side and set me down between her and Felicity. “We have so much to do.”

“Wait, what?” I shook my head and looked between the two of them.

“Mr. Bishop called me this morning to assist with the change in wedding plans,” Felicity explained gently.

“He did?” I was a little bothered but mostly impressed that he was so involved.

“Yes,” Felicity patted my hand.

“I don’t know why you two are in such a rush to have this wedding. What we had planned was perfection. Now we’ll have to make do.” Ilene waved her hand around. I bit back a smile until she spoke again. “It’s not as if you have to get married because you’re pregnant or something.”

I gasped and snapped my head toward Ilene. It wasn’t the best reaction, and I immediately regretted it.

“Are you?” she gasped.

“Is she what?” Collin stepped into the room.

“Oh my god, Collin. Are you rushing this wedding because you impregnated your nanny?” Felicity gasped, and I buried my face in my hands. Ilene couldn’t let it go. “Is that why you entered into this relationship?”

“Mother,” Collin was battling between control and anger. “I’m marrying Sophia because she is the best thing, besides Victoria, to come into my life. I’m marrying Sophia because I love her.”

“You didn’t answer me about being pregnant.” She sounded as snotty as always.

“It’s none of your—”

“Yes,” I pulled my hands away from my face and turned to Ilene, challenging her to say anything else. Her stiff posture slackened under my stare.

“I’m pregnant, and we are moving the wedding up so that I won’t have to hire Omar the Tentmaker to make the gown.”

Felicity snorted a laugh but quickly quieted. I glanced at Collin and found amusement on his face as well.

“Oh, well,” Ilene seemed lost for words.

“If you refer to me as an employee in this house one more time, I assure you, I’ll have no problem keeping you from entering through the front door again.” I inhaled and exhaled loudly before turning back to Felicity and the wedding plans.

“Where were we?” I forced a smile.

Collin’s hand slid over my shoulder. Looking up at him, he leaned down and kissed me.

“I love when you get all assertive,” he whispered against my lips.

My wide eyes glanced to Felicity who was pretending she hadn’t heard what he said. Ilene sat speechless at my back.

Two days later, plain but elegant wedding invitations were delivered to family and friends. In two weeks Collin and I would be getting married at the beach house in Whidbey Island. Ilene had a cleaning company on the property making sure every corner of the house was sparkling clean; Juliet was working on changing the décor.

An amicable relationship had formed between the two women. I wasn’t sure how it had happened until Allison filled me in. She told me about Ilene’s new, extremely wealthy boyfriend. Maybe “man-friend” was a more appropriate term for a sixty-something year old woman.

Connor was apparently a thing of the past where Ilene’s attentions were concerned. I suppose it was for the best, given the fact that Connor and Juliet now lived together on Whidbey Island in Juliet’s house.

I was in the dining room with Larissa, Allison, and Ilene. Wedding magazines, designer sketches, and laptops sat before me on the table. All for a dress—a dress I asked Larissa to help me find. It had quickly become a massive search for the “perfect dress.” I pushed my laptop away and rubbed my eyes.

“Can’t we just go into town and visit a dress shop?”

The room went silent. I looked up at three pairs of eyes staring at me as if I had suggested sacrificing my first born to the moon harvest.

“What?”

“Off the rack?” Allison cringed.

“Don’t you want the dress of your dreams?” Larissa questioned.

“We’re not going to some retail bridal store,” Ilene shook her head in disgust. “You are marrying my son and you deserve to have a beautiful gown.”

“But I don’t want a huge gown,” I moaned. “Honestly, a simple white dress that will camouflage my midsection is all I am looking for.”

“You won’t be showing in two weeks,” Ilene informed me.

“I know, but still, I just want something simple and comfortable.” I let my fingers skim over the keys of my laptop as I spoke. “Like this,” I spun the laptop around.

They all looked the dress over in silence. Allison creased her forehead for just a moment before her eyes lit up.

“That could work!” Ilene snapped her head at Allison’s outburst. “We can use that dress as a starting point.” She began flipping back through magazines looking for a replica. I huffed and stood up.

“I’m going to the bridal place in town.” I walked away without looking back.

“I’m sorry.” I heard Larissa’s voice following me. “This is your dress and your day.” She smiled. “I’ll come with you.”

“Let me grab Victoria.”

When I stepped out of the house with a beaming Victoria at my side, I noticed the car was filled. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that everyone had decided to join me, but I went with it.

Entering the shop, Allison didn’t even try to hide her disdain for the racks of bridal gowns. Victoria ran straight to the flower girl dresses. Ilene took a seat in a puffy pink chair, looking around the place with curiosity.

“This is nice.” Larissa held out a strapless dress with a full skirt.

“Yes, it is.” I eyed it. “Hmm…” I looked around the room, slightly overwhelmed. “Maybe we should’ve done this from the house.” I looked back at Larissa.

“It will be fine.” She hung the dress back up and put her arm around me.

A saleswoman approached. “Are we looking for anything in particular?”

“Yes. Something designer with an empire waist, the cost is not a problem.” Allison stepped forward. “Oh, and don’t push us onto these dresses. What have you got in the back?”

Intimidation spread over the woman’s face. With a large swallow and a deep breath she found her voice.

“Of course, please give me a moment,” she began to walk toward an open door. “Was there a color preference?”

Allison looked at me. I shook my head. “No,” she responded to the saleswoman.

“Let’s sit.” Larissa hooked her arm in mine and we took a seat next to Ilene.

The saleswoman emerged with some extra help. Two clerks had their arms filled with garment bags. One by one, they showed us dress after dress. There were thirteen in all but only three I wanted to try on. While they set up the dressing room for me, we watched Victoria model dresses she liked.

“What about this one?” Victoria spun in a fluffy dress with a white top and yellow tulle bottom. Victoria would be gorgeous in anything, but this dress was hideous.

“How about you try something less formal?” I suggested, and she ran back to try on another dress.

It didn’t take her long to come back out in a spaghetti-strapped, light green, satin dress. There was a large silk flower on the hip. It was extremely cute on her, but Allison nixed that one because it “wouldn’t go with the bridal dress.” I wanted to object, but Victoria ran off to change again.

The moment she stepped out in the final dress we all sighed at the sight of her. The dress was simple, sleeveless, cream-colored with six rows of flowing ruffles. A wide light green band wrapped around the empire waist and a large silk flower decorated the back. She looked as if she had just stepped out of a fairy tale with her curly red hair framing her porcelain skin.

“That’s the one,” I confidently said with a large grin.

She twirled four more times to watch the ruffles flow around her before skipping back to the dressing room. While she changed, I was escorted back to a large room with two attendants.

The moment they zipped up the first dress, I didn’t like it. The material felt rough and uncomfortable. I walked out anyway to get their feedback.

Allison cringed up her nose, Ilene simply stated “no,” and Larissa told me to try on the next one. Victoria was the only voice of praise.

“It’s so pretty.” Her eyes glistened with excitement. “You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” I winked at her and went back for the next dress.

The second dress was the complete opposite. The moment it was on me, I knew it was the one. It felt perfect. Excitement began to mix with my nervousness. I stepped out to my four critics and thankfully each face reflected my feelings precisely.

“It’s perfect.” Larissa stood and walked around me.

“I would never have guessed they would have something like
this
here.” Allison reached out for the dress and touched the fabric.

“You look like a princess!” Victoria bounced in her seat.

“It’s lovely,” Ilene added.

“Should I try on the other?”

“No,” they all said in unison and then started laughing.

“Okay, okay, jeesh,” I giggled. Then I looked at the price tag.

“Seven thousand dollars!” I started shaking my head. “I’m not paying that much for this dress. I’ll only wear it once.”

“That’s nothing.” Allison waved it off. “My dress was handmade in Italy. It cost seventy-five thousand.”

“Mine was fifty,” Larissa added.

“You paid what?” I choked. “No, there is no way I’m—”

“Do you love this dress?” Ilene stood and looked at me.

“I did,” I snorted and looked at the tag again.

“Don’t make me call Collin,” Allison threatened and pulled out her phone.

“What?” My eyes widened.

“You and I both know he will simply come and buy it himself if you don’t. So what will it be? Let him buy it or let him be surprised when he sees you in it for the first time?” She started typing on her blackberry. “All I have to do is hit the send button,” she warned.

“I won’t let him buy it,” I argued.

“Such a shame that he’ll see it before the wedding,” she sighed. Larissa giggled and quickly covered her mouth.

“Daddy isn’t supposed to see the dress!” Victoria looked at me with worried eyes.

“When did you become a wedding expert?”

“Please, Mommy,” she begged.

As usual, I melted. “Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll get it.”

“Good, now let them take the measurements for the alterations, and I will go pay for it.” Ilene started to walk away.

“What? No, Ilene, I’ll pay for—”

“
I
am taking care of your dress.” The look on her face said she meant business so I let it be.

Victoria was disappointed when she found out we had to leave the dresses for alterations. I knew she would cheer up once Collin and I told her about the sibling she would be getting. We wanted to tell her before my first doctor’s appointment, which was scheduled for the following day.