Live In Position (48 page)

"So, I don't see what else I can do but to congratulate our couple here and to inform you, Ms. Gold, that you can visit with your daughter in the Bishop's home. If you wish to ever have a chance for any type of custody of your daughter my suggestion is parenting classes and therapy."

Grace opened her mouth, but her lawyer shushed her. She furrowed her brow and continued.

"But it's okay for him to cavort with the nanny in the presence of my daughter? How is that appropriate?"

The judged sighed heavily.

"We've already discussed that Miss Ashwood is no longer an employee of Dr. Bishop now that they are engaged."

I froze. Collin's hand tightened on mine, his other running my arm, trying to be soothing. However, it was more like a silent pleading with me not to blurt out the words that would shatter this pretense.

Fiancé, no longer employed. Fiancé?

With a quick glance to Collin he mouthed 'please' again, but kept his eyes toward those in front of us. There was a large lump in my throat, but I also considered it could be a scream threatening to explode.

Grace growled and pouted, throwing herself back into her chair. I was still trying to wrap my head around what had been said. Soon everyone was standing and Collin was helping me from my seat.

We emerged from the room. Victoria was quietly waiting with Mrs. Fisher on the bench. She smiled brightly and ran to me.

It was so hard, but I had to pull myself out of the haze that had engulfed me. Clearing my head I focused on Victoria.

"How was it?" I asked her.

"It was great. Look at all the stickers I got this time." She beamed and pointed out six different stickers stuck to her school uniform.

"Those are awesome." I smiled down at her.

"Can we go now?" she looked to Collin.

"Of course," his words were quiet. His nervousness was evident in his voice.

The car ride was quiet. My mind was processing the word fiancé, as well as piecing together Dr. Greer at the park and Mr. Stryker's congratulations.

Had he planned this so far in advance and not let me in on it before shocking the hell out of me? Of course he had, I would never have gone along with it and he knew it. Victoria was sure to find out eventually. Did he even think of what the lie would do to her? What if he's not lying, per say? Maybe he thinks we are engaged. Is this his morbid way of proposing? Oh dear god, I need a drink.

We pulled into the driveway. I exited the car fast, helping Victoria from the back seat before walking to the door. Once inside, Victoria ran off to change out of her uniform and get her homework started. I went straight to the kitchen.

"Sophia?"

With my hand on the refrigerator's steel handle I turned to look at him. Nervous lines creased his forehead and worry filled his eyes.

"Why would you do this?" I barely whispered out.

"You know why." He stepped closer to me.

"Your fiancé? No longer employed? So, I no longer have a job?"

Now barely a foot away from me, the sigh that left him was ragged and washed over my face. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I terminated your contract with the service." He looked into my eyes, but the tears were pooling in them made his face look like an out of focus photo. "But you aren't leaving." His hands were on my shoulders. "You will still be paid just like –"

I swatted his hands away.

"So, what, now I really am your live in whore?" I shouted.

"Of course not," he shouted back.

"Really, then what do you call it Collin?" I gripped at the roots of my hair wanting to scream with frustration. "You're going to pay me to live here and sleep in your bed. That makes me a whore."

His long fingers slid over my shoulder and turned me toward him. The moment I looked in his eyes I drew back a little. He was furious.

"I do not pay you to sleep in my bed." He ground out through a clenched jaw. "This is simply what I need to do to keep you both."

The tears that had been clouding my vision finally fell. His hand quickly cupped the back of my head and his long thumb wiped away one refugee tear. More tears followed. I could taste the salty wetness as he claimed my mouth with his. When his lips left mine I opened my eyes. My insides almost melted, he looked at me with so much adoration and want. It was more than I had ever known. Collin pulled me into his chest as I wiped at the remaining tears.

"I couldn't risk losing either of you." His voice was but a whisper over my head.

"But fiancé?" I questioned. "You couldn't just have made me a girlfriend?" I pulled back and looked at him. "Victoria is going to get hurt."

He looked at me in confusion.

"Why would she get hurt?"

"You don't think she'll eventually overhear something or read something that alerts her to this fiancé charade?"

The playful smirk that slipped across his warm lips made my knees weak, but also worried me. His emeralds shone brightly and intensely on me.

"What?" I couldn't help but be suspicious.

"It doesn't have to be a charade."

My eyes widened and when the small black box appeared in his palm. He opened it up between our bodies I thought I was going to hyperventilate.

Chapter Twenty Four

Every limb sudden felt like stone. I thought I might collapse, but his arms tightly wound around my waist.

"Soph –"

My head shook back and forth.

"No." I whispered out in with the little breath I could conjure from my lungs.

"No?" His face fell.

"Collin, you can't honestly think that…that it's a good idea." The words came out harsher than intended, but the shock was still too much.

Was he really proposing marriage? He thought this was a good idea. Obviously he had lost his mind.

"Why not? I don't want you to leave, ever. What is wrong with wanting to be together?"

"First of all, I never said I was leaving and as for why not, well we've been together for such a short period of time. It's too soon to talk marriage, for real." I pulled out of his embrace. "Now put that box away before Victoria comes in here and thinks –"

"Technically we're engaged, so you need a ring." He flipped the box open and removed the oversized diamond ring.

"I don't need –"

He grabbed my hand and slipped the platinum ring on my finger. I had to give him credit. It was beautiful, simple but beautiful.

"If we were truly engaged you would wear a ring. Don't you agree?"

I couldn't help but notice the look of victory on his face, as if he had still gotten me to agree to marriage.

"What about Victoria?" I glanced up from the new ring on my finger to his eyes.

"We'll tell her we're engaged. There's no reason not to, since you won't be going anywhere, regardless." His eyes gleamed in satisfaction and the half smile was intoxicating.

"But —"

His lips cut me off and I melted into his body. A giggle pulled us apart from one another. Both of us looked to the kitchen door; Victoria.

"Hi," she smiled wide.

"How long have you been standing there?" I eyed her playfully and pulled away from Collin. She giggled.

"Who taught you to eavesdrop?" Collin asked her.

Her body stiffened slightly as he walked toward her with purpose. When his fingers found her sides, the stiffness was lost to wiggles and giggles. My body filled with warmth at their display.

I was thankful Collin didn't just blurt out news of our 'engagement'. Instead Victoria carried her backpack to the table and began her homework. Collin left to his office after kissing my temple and whispering a promise to talk later. Carefully slipping the ring into my pocket and out of Victoria's sight, I began dinner.

Later that evening Victoria became curious about today. Her questions started while we towel dried her hair.

"Do I have to see Grace again?"

I pulled the towel from her head and turned her to face me.

"You will only see her if she comes here to visit you. Your father or I will be present when she is here."

I sat on her bed and pulled her between my knees, facing away from me.

"Do you think she will come?"

There was no mistaking the worry in her voice, but there was also the hint of hope. How could she not hope her mother would want to see her, regardless of the situation? Honesty was all I could give her.

"I don't know." Wrapping my arms around her shoulders I squeezed her tight. Swallowing the tears threatening to spill, I put her back between my knees. "Can you hand me the hairbrush please?"

She handed the brush over her shoulder to me and stayed silent. I only hoped she wasn't upset or stressed out over the situation.

"Can you hand me a hair tie now, please?"

The hair ties were passed over her shoulder, just like the brush. The silence was killing me.

"So, what do you have going on in school tomorrow?" I attempted to change the subject.

It worked a little. She started to talk about some projects and science experiments they were working on in class. Her usual enthusiasm wasn't there, but at least she was talking. Once tucked into bed, I left her room.

Back in my own room I started my nightly routine. After showering, drying, brushing, and dressing, I decided to kill some time going through my mail. There wasn't much and I had only killed about ten minutes. Sighing heavily I walked to Collin's room.

Stepping through the open door, I found him sitting in one of his chairs with the news on the television and his laptop on the table in front of him. He was wearing his glasses and paying attention to the news. I walked over to the other chair and sat down. It got his attention.

"Hello," he smiled.

"Hey," I pulled my feet up under me and leaned onto the arm of the chair.

"What's wrong?"

I shrugged. "Victoria just isn't herself tonight and I don't like it."

"Is she okay?" The concern his voice was genuine. I took some comfort in that.

"Yes," I nodded. "I think she is just worried that Grace will and won't want to see her."

"I see." He dropped his head. Then his head came back up and he looked to me.

I had so many questions about today, before I was coaxed into an engagement.

"I did what I thought was the best to keep everything I love." My eyes met his.

"I know," I breathed out.

"I want to tell Victoria tomorrow, before she hears it from anyone else." His eyes searched my face. I could only nod in agreement, though my stomach flipped.

"Where was the chaperone?" It was the one thing that bothered me the most about the entire situation. He sighed.

"Apparently, she received a call that there was a family emergency. The person told her he was a police officer and she was needed immediately at the station in regards to her son." He ran his hand through his hair. "She was panicked and supposedly Grace told her she would contact us to let them know the situation."

I opened my mouth to argue that she should never have believed Grace, but then I could only imagine the state a mother would be in when she is faced with the fear of her child in trouble.

"I can't prove it, but I believe Grace set up the whole thing, for some reason."

"Grace set it up? How could she know..?" then it struck me, "There wasn't an emergency."

He shook his head.

"When she reached the station they told her they didn't know what she was talking about. She tried to call Grace multiple times and by the time she got back to the park everyone was gone." His hands rubbed roughly over his face. "She thinks it was Grace as well, but she has no proof."

"Do you really think she would go that far?"

"I wouldn't put anything pass that woman." His face hardened.

"But why would Grace do it? What could she possibly have been doing?"

It was confusing. She got rid of the chaperone, yet instead of just taking off with Victoria, she left her alone in the park. Why not just excuse herself from the two of them to do whatever it was she did?

"I don't know," he growled out, "but she won't have the chance to do anything now that she has to have one of us present in the house with her visits, if she visits Victoria at all."

He suddenly sounded so exhausted. I stood and grabbed his hand, pulling him up from the chair. Releasing his hand, I removed his black rimmed glasses and returned my grip to his hand. Guiding him to the bed, I pulled him down with me. We wrapped up in each other, the side of his face against my chest, and quickly fell asleep.

The next couple of weeks finally brought with it some normalcy, as well as the
tell-tale signs of fall. Halloween would be upon us again in a little less than a month. However, what I hadn't expected was to come home after an afternoon running errands to my room being empty. My things were just gone.

It took me a few moments, but then I stomped to Collin's room.
Surprise
, there were all of my things. My clothes were on one side of his oversized walk in closet, a small desk had been set up with all of my writing materials and my laptop, as well as all of my other things distributed throughout the room like they had been there all along.

In a moment of pure anger with his controlling behavior, I grabbed a laundry basket and filled it with a lot of my clothes, my notebooks and laptop, along with some of my other things. I drug all of it back to my room and plopped down onto the couch. It took me some time to get things set back up, though it wasn't all of my things, just some essentials. By the time I was finished, it was time to pick up Victoria. When we returned, Collin's car was in the driveway. I swallowed my anger as we entered the house.

Victoria's evening routine was the same and there was no sign of Collin. I was partially thankful because I was sure there would be no holding back my anger, even in front of Victoria. That was something I definitely wanted to avoid. Once she was in bed, I went to my room and stayed there.

It didn't take long for him to attempt to enter my room. When he realized it was locked, he was forced to knock.

"Sophia?"

I opened the door partially, just enough to see him.

"Yes," I snapped.

"What is going on?" He eyed me curiously.

"Nothing," I shrugged and pulled the door open more.

He took in the things returned to my room.

"Why are your things back in here?"

"Why do you still think you can make decisions for me?" I countered. His eyes became cold and focused in on mine.

"I told you I wanted to move your things –"

"What about what I want Collin?" I snapped.

"You don't want to –"

"That's the point." I growled. "You have no idea what I wanted, because you didn't think to talk to me about it."

"You're right, I apologize, now let's get your things –"

"No," I tried to shut the door in his face.

I was pissed. He was still just doing whatever he desired and I was tired of feeling like a child to him. His hand stopped the door and pushed it back open.

"Sophia, this is ridiculous." He stepped into the room. "The rest of your things are in my, our, room."

"Oh, you can have those things if you want them so badly. I have what I need." My tone was challenging. I hadn't realized it at first, but now I knew, I wanted this fight.

"Don't be absurd. I don't want your things, I want you –"

"Well, you treat me as if I am just another thing." I snapped.

"I do not –"

"What happened to my car?" I countered. "Where are my things?" I couldn't stop. "You decide what I will drive, you decide where I sleep, you decide if I work for you, and you decide you are going to miraculously be engaged to me!" My chest heaved as adrenaline rapid fired through my veins like gunshots.

"I...I didn't mean to –"

"How many times do I have to bring it to your attention before you listen to me?" I threw my hands in the air when he didn't respond. "What the hell is the point? I might as well not even be here!"

I hadn't meant it the way he took it. His eyes enlarged in fear and shock and his jaw clenched tightly.

"You're leaving." It wasn't a question and it sounded like an order. My confusion sent panic to spread over me.

"You want me to leave?" I whispered out and braced myself for his response.

"That's what you just said." He choked out.

"No it's not."

"You said you might as well not even be here. Are you leaving us?" I knew he really meant him.

"That's not what I meant Collin." I covered my face with my palms and sat onto the couch.

"Then why would say that?" I felt his approach.

"I said it because you act as if I am not here when I speak. I told you before about controlling everything. We argued about it and now you just do it again, only a little higher on the control scale." I sat back and rolled my head around, trying to relieve some tension from my muscles.

Silently, he sat down on the coffee table in front of me. Nothing was said for a couple of minutes.

"I don't know what to do." He barely spoke the words aloud.

"About what?" I looked at him in confusion.