Living a Lie (28 page)

“I’m lucky to have you,” she told Kitty.

“You got the bad end of the bargain when you got me for a friend.”

“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk,” Kitty told her.

They held each other for a time before parting. As usual, it was a bitter experience.

“The next time I see you it will be outside these walls,” Georgie promised. But Kitty didn’t hold her breath. She had heard it all before.

Before Kitty’s eighteenth birthday, two things happened. Two disturbing events that were destined to turn her world upside down.

All weekend, she had Georgie on her mind; so much so that she rang Jack at his home and asked for Monday off. Considerate as ever, he offered to take her to Aylesbury, but Kitty gratefully refused.

“I’d like to be there on my own,” she explained.

“If she isn’t released, they might let me see her, and if she is released, I want to be waiting when she walks out of the gates.” The idea of helping Georgie shape a new life was thrilling.

“We’ve already agreed to see a flat in Wentworth Street,” she explained.

“And there’ll be so much to arrange … furniture, clothes and such.”

Jack understood.

“If there’s anything I can do, you’ve only to ask,” he said.

“Meanwhile, I expect the two of you will be off round the town and I won’t catch a glimpse of you for a week.” He knew how fiercely loyal to Georgie she was.

“Let’s hope she’s released first,” Kitty reminded him.

In fact Georgie was released. But it wasn’t Kitty she went off with.

After a long wait in the biting cold. Kitty was delighted when the prison gates opened and Georgie ran out, laughing and squealing. They were excitedly making plans when suddenly a small familiar figure rounded the corner and came towards them.

“Well, I’m buggered!”

Georgie screamed.

“It’s Mac! IT’S MAC COME TO FETCH ME!” While Kitty looked on, she ran into his arms. There was a lot of laughter and some intimate talk, during which Kitty stood quietly by. She couldn’t help feeling apprehensive. Mac had caused Georgie a great deal of heartache in the past. Would it really be so different this time? she wondered.

After an emotional reunion with her ‘fella’, Georgie took Kitty aside.

“I was wrong, gal. He ain’t got another woman. The bugger’s been away trying to get a job and a place for us to stay. He didn’t want me to know until everything was all right, a surprise like. Well, he’s managed to get a job on the bins in Weymouth, and a caravan not too far from the seaside.”

Flinging her arms round Kitty, she laughed for joy.

“He loves me, gal,” she said in a broken happy voice.

“It ain’t like the bugger’s whisking me off on some luxury cruiser, but a caravan by the seaside will do for now.” Georgie seemed like a new person. Gone was the sour set of her mouth and the bitterness from her eyes. She was deliriously, wonderfully happy.

“Take care of yourself,” Kitty pleaded. Hiding her true feelings, she wished Mac and Georgie well.

“You’ve got my address,” she told her friend.

“Don’t forget to keep in touch.”

She watched Georgie walk away, her arm linked with the Irishman’s and the two of them chatting and giggling like two-year-olds.

“God keep her safe,” Kitty murmured. Then she turned and headed for the bus stop, a forlorn and lonely figure. It seemed everyone she ever loved went out of her life all too quickly.

Mildred was not surprised.

“You put too much trust in that young woman,” she declared angrily.

“What kind of friend is she to go off like that? Couldn’t she have spent a day or two with you first?”

“She’s in love,” Kitty replied.

“What with being let out of prison, and then Mac’s turning up like that, it’s not surprising she wanted to be with him.” In fact she was bitterly disappointed.

“Anyway, I doubt whether she would have stayed here. She’s got it into her head that you don’t like her.”

“I’m a bit wary of her, that’s all.” Mildred didn’t look up. She didn’t explain further, just toyed with the sugar bowl, knocking her spoon against its side time and again.

“What’s the matter with you this morning?” It was plain to Kitty that her aunt was in a foul mood. She had slammed and banged about since first setting foot in the kitchen, and now she had spilled the sugar bowl over and left a white sticky trail along the tablecloth.

“I had a bad night, that’s all.” Getting out of her chair, Mildred set about cleaning up the mess. While she did so she glanced at Kitty, saying, “I’m sorry. I’ve got too many things on my mind, I suppose.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Better not,” she answered, leaving Kitty even more bewildered. With that she rushed out of the room. A short time later the two of them went their separate ways, Mildred to the factory, and Kitty to the boatyard.

Jack had left a note on Kitty’s desk, together with the largest box of chocolates she had ever seen. The note explained he had gone down river with a prospective buyer, but would be back in time for lunch, and that he had taken the liberty of booking a table for lunch at the Bemi Inn.

“I won’t take no for an answer,” he wrote, “I know you’ve been starving yourself lately.”

After suffering Mildred’s strange mood at breakfast that morning, and what with Georgie gone, Kitty felt in need of a little cos setting By the time Jack returned, she was looking forward to lunch with him.

“Did you make a sale?” When he walked in the door he had a look on his face like the cat that got the cream.

“Nope.” Coming to the desk, he dared to put his arm round her waist.

Pulling away, she remarked with amusement, “For a man who hasn’t made a sale, you’re looking very pleased with yourself.” As a matter of fact he was looking remarkably handsome in dark cord trousers and a navy pullover that brought out the blue in his eyes.

“If I’m looking pleased, it’s because you’re still here. That means you haven’t made the usual excuse to leave before I get back. That means you’re having lunch with me, and that makes me very happy.”

“And the sale?” She knew he must be worried, because there hadn’t been a sale these past two months.

“There’s always another day and another buyer,” he said nonchalantly.

“There’s only one Kitty Marsh.”

The inn was crowded as usual. It seemed every man and his woman made their way here on that winter’s afternoon. Kitty thought it a lovely place, with its old souvenirs of sailing days gone by, mastheads and ships’ wheels, plaited anchor ropes and brass bells, all decorating the dining room and the bar beyond. At the entrance was a quaint little bridge, beneath which a long pool meandered and huge goldfish lazed away their days.

“It must be lovely to own a place like this,” Kitty murmured as they were shown to their table.

“Is that what you really want?” Jack asked.

“To own a place like this?”

She shook her head.

“No. To tell the truth I don’t know what I want.”

She wanted Harry, but what if he didn’t want her?

She didn’t eat much. She was too concerned about

Georgie to eat.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jack’s voice disturbed her. The touch of his hand on hers was even more disturbing.

“What makes you think anything’s happened?”

“Because if everything had gone as planned, you wouldn’t have come to work this morning.” In a lower voice he went on, “I take it Georgie wasn’t released from prison yesterday?”

“Then you take it wrong.”

“Oh!” He looked suitably penitent.

“Where is she then?”

“She’s gone.”

Saying it made it seem final somehow. Just then the wine waiter brought their order, and before the conversation could continue, the first course was served.

“You said your friend was gone?” Jack appeared confused.

“Gone where?”

“Her boyfriend, Mac, turned up at the gates. Apparently he’s got a caravan and a job in Weymouth. He’s taken her there.”

“I see. And how do you feel about that?” Kitty took a sip of her wine.

In truth she didn’t know how she felt about that. Replacing the glass on the table, she replied, “If Georgie’s happy, then I’m happy.”

“But you’re not, are you?” He longed to hold her, to protect her. When she shut him out it was frustrating.

“I just wonder if he’s good for her, that’s all.” Now it was Jack’s turn to mull things over. He had spent most of the morning at the helm of a boat and that whetted a man’s appetite. The soup was thick and hot, and outside the wind was biting. Picking up his spoon, he took a healthy mouthful of soup, and broke off a chunk of bread while secretly regarding Kitty’s lovely face. It was a troubled face, one that smiled too easily when the heart beneath was broken.

“This man … Mac … does she love him?”

Kitty had been deep in thought.

“I’m sorry, Jack? What did you say?”

“I asked if Georgie loves this man she’s gone off with?”

That made Kitty smile.

“Blindly,” she answered.

“That’s how she loves him.”

“That’s how I love you, Kitty.”

“Please, Jack. Not now.”

“I want you all the time.”

“I know.”

“Do you resent that? Do you resent me?”

“No.”

“But you don’t love me in the same way?”

Kitty’s dark eyes flashed angrily.

“Is that why you brought me out? If so, I’d like to leave right now.”

He put up his hands.

“Sorry,” he said, shamefaced.

“I know I shouldn’t corner you like this. It’s just that I can’t look at you without wanting you.”

“Then don’t look at me.”

His answer was an enigmatic smile.

Kitty had a small appetite at the best of times. Today she was hungry but couldn’t force the food down. Finally she gave up.

“Jack?”

He looked up, dabbing at the corners of his mouth with the napkin.

“You are still talking to me then?”

She wasn’t quite certain whether she should put the question, but asked it anyway.

“Is the business in trouble?”

His smile evaporated. Glancing around the crowded room, he appeared nervous.

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s just that there have been no sales for the past two months.

We’ve bought more boats in, but nothing’s going out. On top of that, the accountant seems always to be asking for you, and you seem always to be avoiding him. “

“It’s easy enough to explain. Kitty. You know what accountants are like. They chase you over the slightest thing, then charge you a fortune for the privilege. He can wait. But if it worries you so much, make an appointment for me to see him next week. As for buying boats in and not selling, well, you know yourself the boat trade in general is in the doldrums. People want to off load but most boatyards aren’t buying. That’s where we come in, to snap up the boats at a fraction of their value.”

“But it must be eating away at your capital? Surely that can’t be wise?” She had learned a lot about the business and saw the need for caution.

It was true things were slow, but he knew from past experience it would all come right.

“When demand picks up, we’ll make a killing.”

Kitty wasn’t convinced.

“Is it true your father’s leaving the business?”

“He feels now is the time to retire, that’s all.”

“Are you angry I asked?” From the look on his face it was obvious she had touched a raw nerve.

Sliding a hand over hers he said softly, “My business is your business, Kitty. I’m flattered you take such an interest.”

After that he seemed to have lost his appetite. Clicking his fingers, he summoned the waiter and paid the bill. In no time at all they were seated in the car and making their way along the river bank. When they

reached the old Josephine Lew fashioned iron bridge, he pulled in beneath a large overhanging willow tree. Leaving the engine running, he flicked it out of gear and pulled on the hand brake

“Why have we stopped here?” Kitty was surprised. The way he’d rushed her out of the restaurant, she’d believed he must have an urgent appointment.

“I can take you straight back if you’re in a hurry?” Turning to her, he seemed like a little boy lost.

Kitty smiled at him. If he loved her the way she loved Harry, it was easy to understand how he felt.

“It’s all right,” she told him, “I’m in no hurry.” In no hurry to get back to the office. In no hurry to deal with the pile of invoices that waited on her desk. In fact she was in no hurry to leave this beautiful place, with its quiet waters and graceful swans, and long swaying branches that touched the water’s edge. It was soothing somehow, a place where she could think of Mildred, and Harry, and now Georgie. What was going on? Why was her life falling apart again?

In a tender voice, he apologised.

“I’m sorry about Georgie. I know how you’ll miss her.”

“As long as she’s happy, that’s all that matters.” It wasn’t though.

What mattered was whether Mac would take advantage of her again, whether he would lead her back into bad ways, into burglary like before, and consequently back into prison. If that happened, Kitty knew it would drive Georgie to desperation.

Looking at the scenery, Kitty’s mind grew quiet.

“It’s so lovely here,” she whispered. There was still a smattering of snow lying on the top of the river bank. It made a pattern like the icing on a cake.

Along the river four men in a boat were practising their stroke; the coxswain’s voice rang out strong and clear, urging them on. In their thick jumpers and woolly hats they made a colourful sight.

Suddenly she was aware that Jack was gazing at her. She turned and just for that moment a rush of warmth came over her heart. He was lonely too. Compassion showed in her face. He leaned forward, his mouth seeking hers. When he kissed her, she did not pull away. Instead she pressed towards him, wanting the closeness of his love, needing to be needed.

The kiss lasted for what seemed an eternity. Just once she opened her eyes and saw the ecstasy on his face. His face became Harry’s face, and she knew she was cheating.

“We’d better go,” she murmured, her lips close to his, moving against his mouth as she spoke. To be so near, so deeply loved, was a good feeling.