Living a Lie (34 page)

Kitty showed Susan to the bedroom then left her there.

“If you need anything, please ask,” she invited.

“I won’t be too far away.”

Hurrying down the stairs, she wondered how Harry had come to marry such a spoilt self-centred creature. But then she realised how he must love her, and after all, Susan was a very beautiful, sophisticated woman, far more elegant and accomplished than she herself could ever be.

All the same, as she came into the^ lounge thrilled to see Harry making a beeline straight for her, she hoped her love for this man had not impaired her judgment of his wife, because much as she had tried not to let it happen, she had taken an instant dislike to the woman upstairs.

As he crossed the room towards her. Harry could not take his eyes off Kitty. She was exactly as he remembered her, and yet nothing like. She was incredibly beautiful. In that black dress with the red lace peeping through, she made his pulses race, but it was her eyes that took him back, those soft brown eyes that lit with a loveliness from within. Unlike Susan, she was warm and open in her nature. He had always loved her. He loved her still, with an intensity that frightened him.

When he reached her, she smiled up at him and his heart was wide open to her. The soft strains of a Nat King Cole song filled the air.

Without a word Harry stretched out his arms and enfolded her in them, moving her round the floor, his head bent to hers as they danced together, two young sweethearts, needing each other, loving each other so very much. Theirs was a forbidden love, but it flowed between them as naturally as day flowed into night.

From the far side of the room, Mildred saw them together. She saw how closely he held her, and how wonderfully content Kitty appeared to be in his arms, and suddenly she knew.

“In love!” she muttered.

“I must have been blind.”

“What did you say?” Eddie bent his head to hear.

“Nothing,” she replied hastily.

“I was just singing with the music.”

As she spoke she looked over to the door and there was Susan. She too had seen, and realised, and now the anger was all over her face.

“Excuse me a minute.” Mildred realised she must waylay that arrogant young woman, or there might be a scene. Without waiting for Eddie’s response she rushed across to where Susan stood, her features set like steel as she glared at Harry and Kitty, so at home in each other’s arms.

“I hope you feel refreshed?” Mildred asked, diverting Susan’s attention. On the way over she had grabbed a glass of wine from the dresser. Handing it to Susan, she remarked, “My dear, it’s wonderful to hear Harry has built up his own business. Mind you, I always thought he would.” In fact she hadn’t known Harry all that well; only that every time she went to see Kitty’s parents, her niece would either be in Harry’s house, or he would be in hers. As far as Mildred was concerned, they were just friends. It had never occurred to her how much they meant to each other.

Susan was not easily fooled, nor was she about to be side-tracked.

“Tell me about Harry?” she suggested.

“And Kitty? I understand they’ve known each other since schooldays?”

“That’s right.” Mildred knew she had to be very careful if she was to avert a row between husband and wife.

“Went to the same school, lived not too far away from each other. Very firm friends they were. But then they went their separate ways, and as far as I know didn’t see each other again until Harry came to my company for the haulage contract.” She sensed a cunning behind Susan’s questions, “Mind you, Harry’s sister, Sarah, was never far away. Gone abroad now, I believe.”

“Never saw each other, you say?” Susan was only a little placated.

“Never wrote? Never phoned?”

Mildred shook her head.

“Not that I know of. You must understand what it’s like? Children pal up at school, then grow up and away from each other. When I met Harry again after all those years, I was delighted to see how well he was doing. I thought it would be nice for the two of them to say hello again.”

Susan’s gaze went to the couple who were still dancing. Her voice was small and stiff, her eyes narrowed as she observed their closeness.

“They seem delighted to meet again, don’t you think?”

“Only natural,” Mildred said lightly.

“Old friends and all that. I suppose after tonight they’ll go their separate ways and never make contact again.” Somehow she knew that was not true. There was something wonderful between those two. Something wonderful, and tragic.

The music came to an end.

“You dance like an angel,” Harry murmured.

Now that he had her in his arms, he didn’t want to let her go. While he was talking, the next song came on, a ballad, the kind of melody you made love to.

“Stay,” he pleaded.

“One more dance, Kitty?”

Realising they were being observed, she reluctantly suggested, “It might be better if you asked your wife for the next dance.”

His gaze lifted. Susan smiled at him, that hard little smile he knew so well. It meant trouble, but he had learned how to handle that.

“I

see what you mean,” he acknowledged bitterly.

“But I would still rather dance with you.”

Kitty laughed softly. She didn’t know whether he was teasing, playing a game they used to play as children. Out of the corner of her eye she saw both Mildred and Susan coming towards them.

“The army’s advancing,” she joked.

She didn’t feel like joking. She felt like murder!

“Really, Harry,” Susan purred, ‘you’re neglecting me. ” Draping herself over him, she drove him backwards, stepping to the music, giving him little choice but to dance with her.

Mildred was tempted to ask questions, but Jack’s timely entrance prevented that.

“You look stunning!” he gasped, drawing Kitty into an embrace.

She thought he looked handsome too. He had on a new beige suit, his fair hair was smartly cut, the grey shirt and tie brought out the colour of his ocean-blue eyes, and he carried an air of confidence that had been lacking in him these past weeks.

“Enough of that,” she said, drawing away.

“I’m hungry. What about you?”

“Famished!”

They ate and drank a little, and in between mingled with the guests.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to the handsome couple over there?”

Jack asked finally.

Kitty’s brown eyes followed his gaze. Harry was looking at her. Susan was talking to Mildred, no doubt quizzing her about Kitty, “That’s Harry Jenkins and his wife,” she explained.

“Harry’s an old friend of mine.”

Jack’s voice hardened.

“Are you sure he’s not an old lover?”

“What do you mean by that?”

He returned his plate to the table.

“He hasn’t taken his eyes off you, that’s what I mean.”

“You don’t own me, Jack. Whether Harry was my lover or not is none of your business.”

His smile told her that he hadn’t believed his own suspicions.

“Sorry,” he said. But he wasn’t altogether satisfied.

Mildred went to talk to her other guests, while Kitty introduced Harry and his wife.

“And this is Jack,” she explained, ‘my boss. “

He slid his arm round her shoulders.

“More than that, I hope, Kitty?”

Memories of the night they had spent together rushed through Kitty’s mind. When she blushed, Harry’s heart fell. What exactly did Jack Harpur mean to her? he wondered.

As the evening wore on, people grew merrier and danced longer; Mildred and Eddie spent more time together, sitting in a corner whispering like two young lovers, and Susan took up more of Jack’s time than was natural. It occurred to Kitty that she was trying to make her jealous.

“She’s probably punishing me for dancing with you,” Harry told her.

“She plays this little game where she tries to make me jealous.” His smile betrayed his despair.

“It’s my fault,” he confessed, “I can’t make her happy.”

Kitty glanced to the far side of the room, where Jack was entertaining Susan by telling her stories of his many escapades. She was laughing, her blue eyes intent on his face.

“Are you sure she’s just trying to make you jealous?” Kitty asked.

“She seems to be genuinely enjoying Jack’s company.”

“I hope she is,” Harry replied. He felt guilty where his wife was concerned.

“Do you and Jack intend to marry?” He had to know.

Kitty’s answer was like music to his ears.

“Jack would like that. But I’m not ready.” She wondered if she ever would be.

“Kitty?”

She looked up. His dark gaze reached into her soul. She felt so much love for him it was like a physical agony inside her.

“Is there somewhere we could talk?”

Kitty couldn’t look at him. What was he asking? What did he want to talk about that he couldn’t say here and now? Could she trust herself if they were alone?

“Do you think we should?” Her eyes pleaded.

“What about Susan?”

He glanced across at her.

“She probably won’t even notice. Like you say, she seems to be enjoying the company.”

Without another word. Kitty put down her glass and walked away, Harry discreetly following.

Coming into the kitchen, she felt the need to apologise.

“I’m sorry it’s in such a mess,” she muttered. His nearness was intoxicating. She didn’t know how to react or what to say. Harry had that effect on her.

They were just inside the door. Every work surface was littered with implements and crockery.

“Looks like you and your aunt have worked very hard,” he commented. They were so close her shoulder was touching his chest. He could hardly breathe.

She kept her gaze averted, not daring to turn, afraid he might see what was really in her heart.

“What did you want to say to me, Harry?

What was so important that you couldn’t say it in there? ” Her voice was trembling, her hands were shaking, and she knew he felt the same.

“I love you, Kitty.” The softest whisper, but it touched her very soul.

“I have always loved you. You know it, don’t you?”

“Don’t say that,” she pleaded.

“It’s been too long, Harry.

You’re married now. We’ve gone our separate ways. “

“Are you saying you don’t want me?”

She lowered her gaze. How could she lie? God help her but she did want him. In spite of the fact that he was married, she wanted him to take her here and now. She needed him so much. No, Kitty! a warning voice sounded in her head. He isn’t yours. You have no right!

Gently he turned her towards him. Outside the street lamp flickered, sending a soft halo of light into the room. Placing the tips of his fingers beneath her chin, he raised her face to his.

“I waited for you, Kitty. All that long time, I waited, always believing you would write, but you never did. I wrote to you though, time and again.

Pouring my heart out, asking you to let me back into your life.

Letters I never posted. I wanted to see you, to talk with you. In the end I realised you didn’t want me back. You shut me out, Kitty. Why did you do that? “

“For your sake, not mine,” she whispered. She had been so wrong. She could see that now. But it was too late.

“I wanted you to have a good life,” she murmured.

“I would only have held you back. Then there was your family… your father. He never liked me. It would have split your family. I was in a home, too young to make plans. You would have had to wait, and in the end it would have been you making all the sacrifices. I couldn’t let you take on such a burden.” With a wistful smile she told him, “You’re successful now, with your own business. I don’t think you could have achieved that if you’d had me to worry about.”

“You’ll never know how wrong you were!” Catching his breath, he grabbed her hard by the shoulders, raising her to her toes, his face so close to hers she could feel his warm breath on her mouth.

“You little fool! Why didn’t you say all these things before?” he groaned.

“You can’t have any idea of the hell you put me through.”

“And me,” she whispered.

“It was hell for me too.” He could see her sadness, the tears trembling in her lovely eyes, and cursed the circumstances that kept them apart.

Kitty held back the tears. She didn’t want him to see her crying. She had been through too much to let it swamp her now. Safe in Harry’s strong arms, she wondered where it had all gone wrong. Though she resented the woman who had taken her place, it saddened her to think that Harry was discontented.

“You’re not happy, are you she asked softly.

His dark eyes ravished her. He was angry, lost without her in his life. For a minute Kitty believed he would not answer. But then he whispered harshly, “How could I be happy without you?”

She could find no words to comfort him. No words to right the wrong she had done. And so she looked away, and closed her eyes, and when in a minute he snatched her to him, she cried out, a small stifled gasp that mingled with his breath when his mouth covered hers.

“I love you, Kitty,” he murmured.

“I could never love anyone else!” Again the anger, and such a need that it stirred a fire inside her.

With his arms holding her and his kisses burning her mouth, it was as if all the bad things had gone forever. There was just Kitty and Harry, and this great abiding love that spanned the years and wound them together forever.

Suddenly the door opened and Mildred came in, wideeyed yet not surprised to find them together. She had seen enough during the evening to realise what was between them still.

“Your wife’s waiting to leave,” she told Harry in a firm voice. Having been at the wrong end of a failed marriage she saw her own husband in him.

“Thank you,” he said, his hand sliding into Kitty’s. He saw the disapproval on her face, yet could not let go of Kitty. Mildred didn’t understand. No one did.

“You must think I’m a monster?”

Something in his voice, a kind of honour, made her hesitate.

“It isn’t for me to say,” she answered. Glancing from him to Kitty, she could see they were deeply in love. Any fool could see that. She thought about the years since her brother had done away with himself, and her own part in shaping Kitty’s life afterwards. She thought about Kitty’s forgiveness, and the way that young girl had come into her own life, bringing sunshine and hope where there had been none.