Lizzie's Secret (11 page)

The two girls were able to squeeze into the front seat with him, but Tony had to go in the back and she heard him muttering to Beth. Lizzie was afraid the evening had been spoiled for her friend and squeezed her hand, but Beth shook her head. She was annoyed with the way Tony was behaving.

‘I really enjoyed myself this evening,' Lizzie told Harry. ‘Thank you so much for taking me to see that film. I loved David Niven…'

‘Yes, I've always like him. I talked to Tony last week and we thought you girls would rather see that than a dark thriller?'

‘Yes, very much so. I like the Odeon too; it's much more luxurious than any other cinema in Bethnal Green.'

‘Most of the others are what my uncle calls fleapits, though the Regal isn't too bad.'

‘I went there once with my uncle, but the seats were a bit hard. It's not that bad, but the Odeon is much better.'

‘We'll go up the West End one day,' he said smiling at her, ‘but you really need the whole afternoon for that.'

‘Perhaps one day. I help Madge on Saturdays and then I have to spend some time with my aunt and uncle. I've promised to go to church with Aunt Jane tomorrow.'

‘You won't come with me for a walk in the afternoon?'

‘I can't, not yet,' Lizzie said. ‘Perhaps, if you still want to, another week…'

‘What about a dance next week?'

‘I'm not sure,' Lizzie said. ‘Unless Beth is going, I would have to go home afterwards and… my aunt might not like it if I'm out late…'

‘You've got to grow up and live your own life. You can't let her dictate to you forever.' Harry raised his brows as if to challenge her.

‘That's what Beth says. I'll see what she says.' Then, to change the subject, ‘I've enjoyed making those new hats this week…'

‘My uncle has decided to sell more of the better hats,' he said. ‘You've started something, Lizzie Larch. He says if you can produce hats like that from start to finish he can get rid of one of the girls who do the trimming. He says he doesn't need three of them if you're able to do the work yourself…'

‘Oh, I hadn't thought of that…' Lizzie felt sorry for the girl who would lose her job. ‘It won't be Tilly will it? I wish I hadn't said anything about finishing them myself now.'

‘You've probably done the girls a favour,' Harry said. ‘They're little better than slaves those girls. He's getting you at half price and knows it.'

‘Tilly just looked up and smiled at me this morning – and she was told quite sharply to get on with her work.'

‘She'll probably get the push one of these days,' Harry shrugged carelessly. ‘Most of the girls don't last more than eighteen months. They get fed up with the work and go elsewhere, but it isn't easy, so a lot of them just get pregnant and mostly their blokes marry them.'

‘That's cynical,' Lizzie said with a frown. ‘Besides, Tilly's married and she needs the work with her husband in hospital. Anyway, I couldn't have done it all on my own.'

‘Perhaps I'm wrong, but Tilly takes longer to do her work than either Nancy or Meggie.'

‘Tilly takes more trouble over her hats.'

‘I've told my uncle that many times,' he said and looked thoughtful. ‘He never listens to me. I'm just the delivery boy.'

‘You're more than that, you know you are.'

‘I would have left long ago, but he was good to my mother after Father died. She died last year; they said it was her heart.'

‘I'm so sorry.' Lizzie looked at him curiously as they drew up outside Beth's house and the others got out. Tony hadn't spoken a word the whole journey and looked sulky as Lizzie bid him goodnight. Beth looked fed up, as if she'd sensed Tony's black mood. ‘Does your uncle know you intend to leave soon?'

‘No, but we'll all have to go once the war starts, and I may as well get in early.'

‘The RAF not the Army?'

‘I like the uniform,' he said and laughed. ‘I suppose I'm mad to risk upsetting him. Uncle Bert doesn't have any children. He may leave the business to me.'

‘But if you don't like working for him…' She shook her head. ‘It's not my business, of course.'

‘It might be one day,' he said, making her look at him intently. ‘It's too soon to talk of the future, but I really like you, Lizzie…'

Her cheeks were burning and she couldn't meet his gaze as she said, ‘I like you too, Harry. I'd better go in. Beth and Tony are already at the door.'

‘They look as if they're having a row. Besides, it's not that late…' He leaned forward to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. ‘Goodnight, Lizzie. I shall look forward to seeing you again soon.'

‘Yes, perhaps we should go to the flicks on our own next time, but I'll talk to Beth. I had a lovely time, Harry. Thank you so much for taking me.'

‘Thank you for coming, Lizzie. I want to go out as much as we can before I join up because I don't want to waste a minute…'

Lizzie smiled uncertainly and joined Beth at the front door. Tony had stalked off and she guessed he was in a temper; she hadn't seen him kiss Beth goodnight and realised her friend looked unhappy.

‘Is Tony angry?' she whispered. ‘I'm sorry if it upset him because we were late.'

‘It's not just that,' Beth said and forced a smile. ‘He doesn't want to go out in a foursome. Says we can meet up at the dance if you like, but he wants to be on his own with me when we walk home.'

‘I'm sorry, Beth. I know you did this for me, but you mustn't fall out with him over me.'

‘Tony wants more than I can give,' Beth said and looked as if she might burst into tears. ‘It's not your fault, Lizzie – it's us. Tony wants to get married and I can't, and I won't do what he wants… I'm not giving in and doing it until we're married.'

*

Beth lay awake long after Lizzie had fallen asleep. She'd held the tears back with difficulty because she didn't want Lizzie to feel guilty. Tony had complained because she and Harry were late, and he'd been in a bad mood all evening.

‘I look forward to the walk home,' he'd said as they lingered outside her door. ‘I don't see you often enough, Beth, and when we do – I want to kiss and touch you. We can't do that with those friends of yours hanging around.'

‘Lizzie can't get away from her aunt unless she comes with me…'

‘Tell her to grow up – and that goes for you, too, Beth. Unless you're going to be a bit friendlier, I'm not going to bother coming round…'

‘What do you mean?' she asked, feeling a pang of fear mixed with disbelief. ‘You know I can't… suppose I fall for a baby? My father would kill me.'

‘No, he wouldn't, he'd see sense and let us get married. It would be his fault anyway for making us wait.'

‘I won't let my family down,' Beth said and turned her shoulder on him. ‘You know how I feel.'

‘Well, you know how I feel now,' Tony said and walked off. Beth had wanted to call him back but pride wouldn't let her. If he couldn't wait, he would have to suit himself – but there Beth's determination started to crumble. She knew that Sylvia Butcher wouldn't turn him down.

Tears on her cheeks, she turned her face to the pillow. Sometimes, Beth almost hated him, because she didn't want to shame her family and she didn't want a baby just yet either, especially out of wedlock. It had taken a long time to learn the skills she had and she wanted to work a bit longer and save her money so that she could have a lovely white wedding – although at the moment she was sure there would be a wedding at all.

Lizzie saw the look on her aunt's face as she walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning. She'd had been crying and that was so rare that Lizzie's heart caught with fright.

‘Uncle Jack…?' she said, her throat tight with emotion. ‘Is he… worse?'

‘Oh yes, of course he told you he was ill, didn't he?' her aunt said bitterly. ‘Never mind him telling me, his wife… Now, he's dying and I'm going to be left alone to cope with everything…'

‘Dying…?' Lizzie's heart pounded and her throat was tight with tears. ‘Where is he?'

‘Upstairs in our room. He was taken ill last night. Fortunately, I had a client with me and she went to phone for a doctor.' Aunt Jane looked at her with something resembling loathing. ‘He asked for you over and over but I didn't know how to reach you and then the doctor gave him something to make him drowsy'

‘May I go up and see him please?'

‘Please yourself. I'm not sure if he will know you…'

Lizzie ran from the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Her aunt's words had stung her, making her feel so guilty, because she ought to have been here when he needed her and she couldn't bear it if it was too late.

Opening the door of his room, Lizzie peeped in, her heart beating rapidly. She walked softly towards the bed, hardly daring to speak for fear of disturbing him. Yet as she approached, his eyes opened and lit with love, his hand moving on the bedclothes as if reaching for hers. She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers, running a finger over it as if to comfort him, or perhaps it was she that needed comfort, because he seemed at peace.

‘I waited for you,' he said and the love in his eyes broke her heart. ‘I wanted you to know, Lizzie. Your aunt must have the house for her lifetime; it's her right and I couldn't do otherwise, but the shop and the goodwill is yours. I've arranged it with the lawyer, made a proper will…'

‘Please, don't,' Lizzie was crying silently. ‘I love you. Please don't leave me, Uncle Jack…'

‘It's my time, love. I want you to be independent and happy. You can sell the business and keep the property; that will bring you in a little rent. It's all I can do for you, Lizzie. I ruined your life and I can never make it right… please forgive me…'

‘There's nothing to forgive. You've given me so much.'

‘I owed you more, but your aunt must have her home while she lives, and I dare say she'll go on for a long time, but then it will be yours.'

‘Please…' Lizzie held his hand to her cheek. His eyes closed and he whispered something more. She couldn't hear it all but knew he was telling her he loved her.

Watching the colour fade from his cheeks, Lizzie knew that he'd gone. He'd hung on to say goodbye and then he'd given up. Tears were streaming from her eyes now and she felt devastated.

She would stay until the funeral was over and then she would go. Aunt Jane might call her selfish and ungrateful, and perhaps she was, but she couldn't live with a woman that hated her – and she'd seen real hatred in her aunt's eyes this morning.

Lizzie sat for a while just holding her uncle's hand, and then she got up and went downstairs. The doctor would have to be told and someone would come to do what was necessary. Perhaps her aunt would want his body to remain here or she might have it taken to a chapel of rest; it wasn't Lizzie's choice. She'd loved her uncle, but Aunt Jane was his wife. Lizzie could only do what she was told…

Aunt Jane just looked through Lizzie when she told her that he was dead. She didn't speak to Lizzie but went upstairs to look for herself.

Lizzie went down the road to the corner shop and asked to use the phone. Joe Bent looked at her sadly as she told him the reason for needing to make the call.

‘He was a good man your uncle,' he said. ‘Why he stayed married to her I'll never know, but he'll be at peace now. She'll be using the funeral parlour down the road, because he's the cheapest. If I were you I should pop down there, after you've phoned the doc, and ask them to call.'

Having spoken to the doctor, Lizzie smiled, thanked Joe and returned to the house. Her aunt had come downstairs. She listened when Lizzie told her she'd sent for the doctor.

‘You could have saved your steps if you'd waited. You'd best go down the road and tell them to come and fetch him when the doctor has been. I'm not having the stink of death in my house.'

‘Is there anything else you need while I'm out?' Lizzie's nails curled into her hands because she hated her aunt for talking like that, as if Uncle Jack was a piece of dead meat, but held her tongue out of respect to her uncle.

‘If there is I'll tell you…'

Lizzie didn't mind how often she went out, because she could hardly bear to be in the house and know that her dear uncle was lying dead up in his room. It seemed Aunt Jane could hardly wait to get rid of him, and Lizzie knew that as soon as he had gone, she would be burning his death sheets and airing the room, as if he had never existed.

It was unbearably painful to know that a kind and gentle man had not been truly loved by his wife. Lizzie's eyes burned with tears, but she went through the motions, holding back her tears until she lay in bed at night.

The next day it was easier because her uncle had been taken to a place of calm and peace and Lizzie was back at work. Ed listened to her and then just put his arms about her and held her clasped to his chest. Tears fell, but Lizzie brushed them away. They had a lot of work to do and she knew that crying would not bring back the man she'd loved.

‘I shall be at the funeral with you,' Harry said when she told him some of what had happened during their lunch break. ‘Don't worry, Lizzie, I shan't let that old dragon get her claws into you any more than I can help. What are you going to do afterwards?'

‘She can come and stay with me,' Beth said. She'd listened in silence but now she put an arm about Lizzie's waist. ‘I'll ask Mum tonight, but I know what she'll say. You can share my room, Lizzie.'

‘Thanks, both of you,' Lizzie said. ‘I'm glad I've got friends. I'm not sure I could have got through without you.'