Read Locket full of Secrets Online
Authors: Dana Burkey
Once I had showered, changed, and downed a granola bar I slipped my arms into my forearm crutches and headed for the lobby. After using the phone behind the desk to check in with my mom I began the slow task of getting into my car and behind the wheel. Driving was easy enough, but getting in and properly stowing my crutches was always a task in and of itself. As I drove away from the hospital a few minutes later I could not help the grin that was spreading on across my face. I was finally going to see Olena!
Pulling into the handicapped parking spot at Perkins, I climbed out slowly before heading inside. I had been to the restaurant a few times since I had returned to the Unites States, and the staff had welcomes me with opened arms. They all greeted me with hugs and smiles, so glad to know I was safe after all I had been through. This time was no different as two waitresses opened the door for me and led me to a booth where water and coffee were already waiting.
I sat waiting for Olena, having arrived almost a half an hour before we were going to meet. I didn’t want her to see my struggle to walk in, especially after a long physical therapy session. As I sat and drank my coffee, I stared out the window next to me. It was so similar to the last time I sat waiting for Olena, but so different knowing that it would be a nice reunion devoid of any surprises this time around.
“Hello sunshine.”
At the sound the familiar greeting my heart sped up and I felt like I had ice water rushing through my veins. I didn’t need to turn to know who was behind me, but found myself glancing over my shoulder all the same. Standing there, in the place where I expected to see Olena, was Steven.
I could feel tears springing to my eyes as I stared at Steven, suddenly angry for arriving early. It would take much too long to get up and leave, not that I trusted my body to be able to even stand at this point. Behind Steven I was aware of the wait staff walking towards us, but I could not take my eyes off of him. Standing before me was a version of Steven I had seen once before without knowing it. He had brown hair now, his blonde hair long gone. What struck me, however, were his eyes. They were no longer the rich brown I had grown used to over our months together in Michigan and during our time with Olena. Now, his eyes were a bright green. Eyes I instantly remembered.
“It was you,” I whispered, just as a waitress reached our table.
“Are you okay, Claire?” Kathy asked, all but glaring at Steven.
“Claire, please, let me explain,” Steven begged. “I just want to talk with you for a few minutes.”
I glanced quickly between Kathy and Steven, not sure what the best choice was. Part of me wanted to never see Steven ever again. But, another part of me wanted to know why he was here instead of Olena.
“Just a few minutes and I will leave,” he tried again, holding his hands out at his sides in surrender.
“Okay,” I managed. “I’m okay, Kathy.”
She glared at Steven again, as if to let him know she still did not trust him, then headed towards the kitchen where a few other waitresses stood watching. I was glad for their support, as I watched Steven move slowly to take a seat across from me in the booth.
“Where is Olena?” I asked, gripping my coffee mug to steady my shaking hands.
“She’s in Kiev,” he said with a frown. “She thought you would be more likely to agree to meet her than me.”
“So she was never going to come see me?” When Steven shook his head I shut my eyes hard for a moment to calm myself. All the emotions and pain from Ukraine were suddenly back in full force.
“She has been busy dealing with everything,” Steven explained. “I have only seen her twice since I uh, got to Kiev.”
I noticed his pause and ground my teeth together. Of course he was lying to me again. How could I expect him to just be honest with me about anything?
“Why are you here?” I asked bluntly.
“I need to say I’m sorry,” Steven sighed. “I messed up big time.”
“Ya think?” Taking a sip of my coffee, I avoided eye contact with him. Having him here was too much, even after months without contact.
“It was never supposed to happen like it did Claire,” he tried again. “You were never supposed to be in harm’s way, and I never was supposed to fall in love with you.”
Before I could stop myself I looked at him again, not sure I had heard him correctly. I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly shut it again. I didn’t know what to say, and it was clear Steven was not done.
“When Olena met with you here the night Alexi found her, that was supposed to be the end,” he began. “We were going to get the necklace and then leave for Chernobyl. But thanks to Alexi that plan changed. I don’t know if you remember me, but I saw you before I left that night. You looked right at me. I tried to tell Olena you would remember me, but she insisted I would need to do my part to try to get the necklace when you went to Michigan.”
“I remember you,” I croaked, my throat dry. “Your eyes really. But I saw you, right before I passed out.”
“I knew it,” he smiled. “But Olena said I still needed to follow you to Michigan while she got things ready in New York. The men Alexi worked for thought I died in the accident that killed my mom and aunt, so it was safer for me to be around you than it was for Olena.”
“So you moved to Michigan and thought you could trick me into liking you?” I all but spat the words at him, so angry at how easily I had been tricked.
“No, not even a little,” Steven sighed. “I was supposed to get to know you, enough to get into your room if I had to and get the necklace. But something changed when I got to know you. I didn’t want to just grab the necklace and go. I wanted to make sure you would be safe even if something happened to Olena or myself.”
“How can I believe you?” I asked, my jaw clenched tight.
“That night when we were studying, and I almost kissed you,” Steven paused. “I was glad Norra walked in before I got into too much trouble. If she didn’t walk in I knew I was going to kiss you, and it would have made everything much more complicated. But when I told Olena that you did not have the necklace, she said we needed to bring you with us to find it, so I had to keep spending time with you until she was ready to move. So I tried to pretend like we could be friends, and just hang out and keep things simple. I thought if I kept a little distance between us the feelings would go away. But it just got worse.”
Steven ran a hand through his hair in frustration. His story explained why he never kissed me, or even tried to, after that night studying in my dorm room. Unfortunately, it still didn’t make me want to trust him very much.
“When Olena showed up and said we needed to leave for Ohio as soon as possible, I freaked out.” He shook his head at the memory. “She told me to come clean with you about everything, but I wasn’t ready to lose you. I knew if you thought I was lying about everything when we were getting to know each other you would never speak to me again. So, I convinced Olena that if I was still pretending to be Steven and not her cousin, then I could make sure you were strong enough to keep going and make it to Ohio.”
“So you thought lying to me was the only way to make me help Olena?” I asked, annoyed with myself for not seeing through the lies myself.
“No,” he said with a frown. “I knew you would help Olena. But, I didn’t want to end what was starting between us, so I convinced her you would be more help with ‘Steven’ by your side. We fought about it all night, but in the end she agreed that it would be better for me to lie to you a little longer in case the truth made you too emotional.”
Steven paused as our waitress refilled my coffee cup. She asked me if I wanted anything else, but I told her we were okay for now. The moment to think allowed me time to go over a few of the things from months ago that bothered me the most. Finally, I had a chance to ask them.
“When I got hurt in the gas station,” I began slowly. “You and Olena were fighting in Ukrainian, weren't you?”
“Yeah,” he replied with a nod. “I hoped you were too out of it to notice, but it makes sense you heard some of it. Olena was so focused on getting out of danger that she was putting you at risk. You were losing a lot of blood, but she was refusing to stop. When we were fighting then, she started to realize I had been lying to her. She could tell that I was not just pretending to care you for. I begged her not to tell you anything, knowing the more danger we were in, the more likely it would be for you to not take the news well.”
“Lying to me was more convenient for you,” I noted, my frustration growing more and more.
“Basically,” he frowned. “I hoped that if we could just get through the trip in one piece then I could find the strength to tell you the truth. I didn’t know how things were going to end up.”
I could feel my chest tightening at the memory of the last time I was with Steven. Hearing him speaking in Ukrainian with the guards at the Embassy was like a knife to my chest, even after so much time had passed. As my mind returned to our time in the hotel the night before our trip to Chernobyl, I felt tears welling up in my eyes and running down my cheeks. The wounds were as fresh as they had been in the hospital in Moscow.
“Olena was so mad at me by the time we were heading to Chernobyl, but saw that in a way having me there for you to lean on was keeping you going,” Steven continued in a quieter voice. “She made me promise to tell you as soon as I could, knowing that my feelings for you meant you would be safe no matter what we were about to face.”
Wiping my tears, I found my voice finally. “So she agreed to let you lie to me as long as it worked to get the film Uri hid?”
“No,” he corrected me. “She agreed to let me lie to you as long as I could keep you safe, so when I broke that promise she was ready to kill me. When Hodwell told her what happened to you, Olena wasn’t even allowed to come see me for a week. They were too worried she might actually try to hurt me for letting you get shot.”
“What do you mean, they wouldn’t let her see you?” I asked, not understanding. “They didn’t let you go after they knew you were telling the truth?”
Steven looked out the window and took a deep breath. When he looked back to me I could see the struggle on his face. Whatever he was about to tell me was not easy to say. I braced myself, not sure what could be so terrible for him to not want to tell me.
“Hodwell told you I was being held for questioning?” he asked. When I nodded, he continued. “That was only kind of true. They were questioning me, but I was in the hospital through it all. The man that was chasing us shot me before he finally went down.”