Authors: Clarissa Fenton
'Oh go fuck yourself, you wizened old cow!'
The last thing I saw was her staring at me
open mouthed as I sped off past her towards the oncoming blue light. As chance
would have it, it was only a bloody ambulance, but I was glad to get out of
there anyway.
I cursed myself for losing it like that. She was
the type who'd probably make a complaint. She said she ran a law practice, so
she probably knew a few people at the local station. All she had to do was give
them my car number or collar number and they'd realise there was someone doing
IPO on their patch.
Oh shit,
I thought, my heart leaping up into my
mouth and my system flooding with so much adrenaline I thought I might be sick.
I managed to get home and calm down. All she had to go on was a physical
description. My car plates are false and there are millions of other cars on
the road like mine, I've got no form except a couple of driving convictions
from years ago; there was no way they were going to find me. I just had to lie
low for a bit.
The trouble was
,
I
couldn't. I'm no psychologist but I like to think I know my own mind, and this
was starting to be some sort of compulsion. To be honest, it was starting to
worry me. It was like any addiction
-
you start off thinking you can take it or leave it, but before long you can't
stand the idea of living without it. But then something happened that for me
was worse than when I pulled over that lawyer woman, and it nearly
-
nearly
-
put me off the whole thing for good.
Firstly, I didn't plan it properly. I acted
totally on impulse and that was for me the first sign that things were getting
out of hand. I was actually on my way to one of my routes, not that late in the
evening and only just dark. I hadn't even reached the pub when a car shot past
me, cutting me up on a roundabout. I got a glimpse of a really fit looking
woman out of the corner of my eye as she flashed past, and without even
thinking I put my foot down and caught up with her, flashing my headlights and
putting the blue light on. It was as if the personality of a copper was
starting to take over. Before I knew what I was doing, she'd pulled over and I
started fumbling for my stab vest, clip on tie and equipment belt from under
the seat as we slowed to halt in a gravelly verge on the side of the
road.
I made the final adjustments to the uniform
and marched up to the car, ready to give her a piece of my mind. Then as I
tapped on the window and she wound it down, I caught a glimpse of her and
suddenly felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
It was Mandy.
I’d completely forgotten that I’d run her
home along this road and that she lived just nearby.
She'd changed her hair, cutting it back to a
short, blonde crop which in spite of everything I noticed made her look even
sexier than she did before, if that was possible. I had my cap down low over my
eyes as usual, but I realised there was no way I was going to be able to get
out of this without her recognising me. If I'd made a run for it, she might
have recognised my car, and that would have been that. I realised there was
nothing I could do except try to bluff my way out of it.
It took her a while to even look at me
properly she was so nervous. Her hands were shaking and she started gabbling
before I'd even had a chance to speak.
'I'm really, really sorry,' she gasped. 'I'm
in a major
hurry,
I didn't mean to go so fast. My
mum's really ill in...' She paused and recognised me.
'Carl?' A look of panic crossed her face and
her hands started to shake even more, and she gripped them on the wheel to
steady herself.
'Hello Mandy.' I tried to sound as calm as
possible.
She looked me up and down and shook her head.
'What's this all about...are you in the police...?'
She must have realised how stupid the
question sounded, and her voice trailed off. I grabbed at a chance to talk my
way out of it.
'Yeah, I'm a Special.'
'A what?'
Christ, she doesn't even know what a Special
Constable is, I thought. Maybe this was going to be harder than I thought.
'A Special Constable.
Part time volunteer,
I do evenings and weekends.'
She paused. 'Oh right...I didn't realise...I
mean, you never mentioned it at work.'
'Yeah, well, it's not the sort of thing you
really talk about, is it. People start treating you different.'
I saw her relax very slightly. I wanted to
get away from
there
very, very quickly. Just as a
precaution, I added 'I'm packing it in soon anyway.
Too many
late nights.'
I didn't think we had any common
acquaintances but just to make sure I said 'Best keep quiet about it, eh?'
She looked doubtful but then tried to smile.
'I suppose so...it's just a bit...well I don't know
,
it's just a bit of a surprise.'
I realised I was going to get away with it so
I decided to keep the bluff going a bit longer.
'You cut me up good and proper back there.
What's all the rush?'
She bit her lip. 'Look, Carl,
am
I trouble? I mean, have I actually done something wrong?
It's just I'm in a real hurry.'
I really wanted to let her go but realised I
needed to press the advantage home to avoid her suspecting anything.
'I'll just have to have a quick look at your
driving licence and then that'll be it.'
It was a stupid thing to say; I should have
just told her to be more careful and told her to drive on. Instead her lip
trembled and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. She sniffed back
the tears as she looked at me and at that moment I cursed myself for being such
a fucked up idiot, wishing I'd never started this bloody stupid caper.
'I haven't got one.
Only a
provisional.
I'm not supposed to be driving this car either, it's my
mum's and I haven't got insurance,' she blurted out.
I looked around to make sure the coast was
clear, and tried to sound a bit
more friendly
.
'Look, let's just forget it, eh. Just drive a
bit more carefully.'
She wiped her eyes with the back of her fists
like a little kid and tried to smile bravely at me.
'Really?
You sure it's ok?'
'Really.
Just don't tell
anybody about it.'
'Cheers Carl
-
you're the best, you know that?'
'Forget it. Just go home, eh?'
She seemed to want to confess something. 'It
was true what I said about my mum. She's ill
-
really ill. I'm going to the hospital now, that's why I
was driving so fast and in her car. I didn't have time to get a taxi. The
doctors told me I should come as soon as I could. I can't go home.'
Christ, if she was acting, then she was the
best actress I'd ever seen. I started to think she'd been telling the truth
about her mum when she'd blown me out. I realised I'd been a total, utter prick
around her and wished there was some way I could get out of this whole stupid
mess. There was a pause and for a mad moment I wondered about giving her a
police escort, driving in front of her all the way to the county general on
blues and twos, then realised I might as well put a banner up on the car saying
'arrest me now' for the benefit of any passing law. I got the feeling she might
actually have been about to ask me to do just that, so I just stepped back from
the car.
'Go on then, you'd better get moving. Be
careful though.'
For a moment I wanted to lean in and kiss
her, like any decent bloke would have done, but to keep up this stupid charade
I had to pretend to be professional, so I just waved her on as she sped off.
'Keep in touch, yeah?' She sniffed back the tears,
and then sped off. I'm pretty certain I saw her mouth the words 'love you' but
I probably just imagined it.
6.
It turned out Mandy was telling the truth. A
few days later I saw on her
Facebook
page that her
mum had died of cancer. It made me feel a bit sick of myself, to tell you the
truth.
Like the smoker who tells himself he's going
to have one more fag and that'll be his last one, I told myself I was going to
do one more job and that was going to be it. I was clever enough to realise I
was straying into completely fucked up territory, risking a major prison term
and maybe even going on the sex offenders' register if I got caught. I decided
I was going to go out with one perfect pick up, then call it a day, like some
Shakespearian actor who can't retire until he gets a standing ovation. After
that I would try to get things going with Mandy and get back to some sort of
normal life.
I chose my other run, not the one where I'd
pulled over the mouthy lawyer, and settled down with a pint of orange juice and
a paper in the corner. It wasn't long before I saw a mark that took my breath
away, and I realised this was going to be a perfect grand finale. She was about
30, tall, about 5' 9", with killer heels and a black dress that fitted her
like a glove, showing off an arse like a racehorse and pert, pointed tits. She
had sort of bobbed blonde hair, long at the front but shaven up the back, which
gave her a bit of a manly look and if she'd been wearing less feminine clothes
I might even have taken her for a lipstick lesbian, with her thin, almost cruel
looking lips and blue grey eyes that seemed to give off a kind of fire
-
not the kind that warms but the kind
that burns. She was sitting on her own at the bar, drinking from a big glass of
wine, and this time I checked the label when the barman topped her up, to make
sure it was real booze.
I'm pretty sure she checked me out once or
twice, and for a moment I wondered if it was wise to continue. If she'd noticed
me
then that might blow the whole game. But then I
thought I was probably just imagining it, as she spent most of her time on her
phone, fiddling with it and texting. She didn't have anyone else with her and
with a getup like that I wondered if she was on a date and had been stood up.
If she had been, I reckoned she might be in just the right mood for when I met
her later.
Sure enough come 10.30 she sighed and got up,
took a last look round the bar for whoever she was waiting for, and then walked
out. I followed, keeping out of sight and getting the false plates on. She
drove cautiously onto the main road and I noticed that she was
weaving
a bit from side to side
-
not too much, just enough to give a
clue that she wasn't quite under the limit. Once the coast was clear I flashed
on the blue light and siren. She took a while to pull over and I started to
wonder if she might be thinking about trying to make a run for it. Eventually I
realised she was waiting for the parking place up ahead and I smiled to myself
as she pulled in nicely out of sight from the road. This was going to be a
night to remember, I could feel it.
I strolled over, doing my usual routine, and
she wound the window down. I got a look at her close up and she was
breathtaking
-
high cheekbones and
eyes that looked inviting but dangerous at the same time.
She spoke in a dark brown voice with a hint
of a London accent.
'Have I done something wrong, officer?'
She had a slight smile on her face and I knew
I'd got a live one.
'I pulled you over because you were weaving
around the road back there. I'm stopping you on suspicion of
drink
driving.'
The smile didn't fade for a minute. I guessed
she was a bit pissed, and I guessed she tried this before.