Long Blue Line: Based on a True Story (13 page)

Our barbeque dinner was delicious and sitting with Derrick and my girls felt natural. He took initiative and helped chase down the girls when they began to get bored at the table and stray. He even shared pieces of his dinner with Zoe. Either he had experience with children or it was a big show to melt my heart -and of course it did. “How are you so great with kids? I had no idea you had this side!” I said, teasingly. I squeezed Chloe’s adorable two-year-old cheeks “Derrick is so good with waddle ones isn’t he?” I said in a baby voice. “Yeah!” Chloe responded. She was my girl and always vouched for mommy. We had dined outside on the patio, and although it was a little chilly, the heat-lamps above us were soothing and romantic. After eating until our stomachs hurt, we had to head back up the hill to get the girls put to sleep. It was getting late and at that rate, they wouldn’t be in bed until eleven at night.

I had Derrick drive us back. I hated driving in the dark, and I didn’t have my glasses with me. He drove cautiously, and I respected that. Josh always drove wild and free just like his ADHD. Driving in the dark, the girls passed out, and I started wondering out loud how I would get into my apartment. “Josh somehow stole my only key, and I know for a fact that he isn’t going to give it to me.” I said. “Just stay away from Megan’s apartment!” he warned. “You know Josh is there and screwing that little fifteen-year-old. You’re going to wind up in jail if you don’t listen to me.” I figured he was probably right, but it was not fair for Josh to take this out on his innocent daughters. They needed their jammies, diapers, and wipes; I had nothing for them to wear at my mothers’ house. It was the whole principle of the matter that bothered me.

After driving for thirty minutes, we pulled into Derrick’s driveway so I could switch places and get the girls to bed. When I got out of the car, he met me at the hood and grabbed me by the waist. Quietly, he whispered, “Girl, don’t make me fall in love with you just to hurt me. If you’re going to hurt me, just get it over with.” He lifted my chin and slowly kissed me. It was a long, passionate kiss, one that I had never experienced. It was a true kiss; a kiss that he put his feelings into. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I promised. “Trust me, I’ve made my mind up about how I feel. I wouldn’t be throwing my marriage away if I was questioning how I feel about you.” He kissed me again. This time, longer, harder, and more passionately than before. He kissed me like he really meant it. I kissed him back even harder. Before it got too out of hand, he gently pushed me away. “Now go get those girls in bed, and don’t go to jail or I’ll be pissed.” he demanded. “All right, I won’t. Call me tomorrow. Okay? And thanks for dinner.” I smiled sensually and walked back to my car.

Pulling out of the driveway, I knew it was game time. No guy was going to screw me, or my daughters, by denying us our basic needs. Without thinking twice, I headed straight for my apartment complex, knowing that I was getting that damn key, no matter what it took.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I dialed Josh’s cell number. The lights were on in Megan’s apartment, and it was obvious that a good time was going on. “What do you want, bitch?” Josh answered. “Josh, I don’t want to fight with you. I want to stay civil, and I just need you to let me into the apartment so I can get diapers and clothes for the girls,” I pleaded. “I’m busy with better things and a better girl. You ain’t getting anything!” He slurred. As I had anticipated, he was drunk. No surprise there. I pulled up in front of Megan’s apartment and turned my bright lights on. When no one came out, I began flashing the lights. My adrenaline was pumping full-force. My heart was racing with rage. Alena walked out in her fifteen-year-old pigtails wearing fluffy slippers. She stopped on the grassy hill and put her arms in the air as if she were a gangster from the hood. “Your man would rather be with a real woman! You don’t deserve him. He’s mine now, bitch!”

I laughed to myself and came to my senses. If I were to accept her invitation for a fight, I would surely go to jail. I was legally an adult, and she was still an idiotic kid. If I were going to end up in jail, I was going to at least do it with a bang. I had the common courtesy to keep my affair quiet. I knew that making a statement and rubbing it into Josh’s face would surely be far too hurtful. As angry as I was, I wouldn’t have wished that kind of pain on anyone. Even though we were fighting and it was over, I still loved Josh. I knew that a part of me always would. He gave me the most beautiful gifts that any person could ever ask for. For that, there will always be a sense of appreciation.

Josh finally walked out of the apartment and down the grassy hill. I knew right away that he would not have the ability to reason with me especially because he had been drinking. Defeated and praying for an ounce of empathy, I calmly asked him, “Josh, the girls are sleeping, I just need their things. You don’t even have to let me in - will you just get me their things, please?” Almost in tears, I looked him in the eyes. “Nope! You screwed up, and I’m not doing shit for you!” he yelled. I made a third attempt, then fourth attempt, and just like the time I hit the girl with the plastic softball bat my patience ran dry. Alena came closer to the parking lot and started to yell. “Josh! Get away from that nasty hoe! Let’s finish where we left off, do you know what I mean?” This little girl was a terrible instigator.

Whether what she was saying was true or not, it cut me like a knife. It cut me deep. Josh looked over at her, “Hang on sweetie, I’ll be there in a minute.”  Sweetie? SWEETIE? This is the value he places on that word? The first pet name any man had ever given to me? HELL NO! I raged to myself. Completely losing any sense of time or place, I slammed my car into reverse and backed up about five feet. Josh was standing against his car, and I aimed my front bumper right toward him. “Give me the key for our girls and give it to me now!” I screamed. Josh stood there un-phased. I inched my way toward him and his precious car slowly but aggressively.

I was so close he almost didn’t have room to make his way out of the metal gap. “I’m giving you a fair warning, Josh! If you don’t give me that key RIGHT NOW, I am going to hit your car!” I devilishly yelled. “You’re not getting the damn key!” he screamed. He must not have truly known what I was capable of at that moment. Out of his own anger, he kicked my side mirror so hard that it flew off and was hanging by the wires. “Go to your mother’s house, you stupid bitch!” he violently yelled. “That’s it, you stupid, lowlife piece of crap! I gave you a chance, and I warned you!”

Slamming the car into reverse even harder this time, I backed up about ten feet. I sat for a moment, giving him one last chance to hand over the key. When he clearly didn’t expect me to do what I had threatened, I released the brake. I gassed the car just enough to make it lurch forward, but not enough to cause a rough impact. I was able to put a nice dent in the side of his car, but it just wasn’t enough. I wanted his whole car to be completely shattered, just as my feelings were. I backed up again and gave it another whack, a little harder. I still wasn’t satisfied, but I knew that I had to get out of there because someone was probably calling the cops. I reversed my car one last time, knowing the last time would be the best. I slammed my front end into his passenger side door, and gave it the damage I was hoping for. When I was finished, my heart was pounding and my entire body was numb with adrenaline. I pulled out onto the quiet highway, expecting to be pulled over any moment. I laughed as I saw the police drive right past me and turn into the apartment complex. I was hoping that I would at least make it to my mother’s house before being arrested. I was so outraged that I had completely forgotten that my sleeping babies were in the back seat of the car. They stayed sleeping and quiet the whole time. Fear rushed through me as I pulled into my mothers’ driveway. I had officially been a bad mother than night. I lost my mommy innocence. I royally screwed up, and I fully knew it.

I turned off the car and unbuckled the girls from their seats. When I walked inside, my mom was just getting ready for bed. “What’s up, sweet pea?” she asked. “Is everything okay? It’s pretty late.” The girls heard their Grandma’s voice and became alert. They both loved her, and wanted to wake up to play. I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally. I set them down, and took my sweater off from the heat of my boiling blood. “Oh, nothing. I went to dinner then tried to get the key from Josh. He wouldn’t give it to me and we got into a really bad fight. He messed up my car, and the cops might be coming.” I calmly lied. I didn’t want to give her all of the details in case the cops didn’t show up. I could possibly get away with it, but I doubted it. “Well, if he messed up your car, why would the cops come for you?” she questioned. “That’s true. You know what? I think I am going to call the cops on him right now.” I decidedly announced. “Liz, are you sure it is that bad?” she asked. “Yes, it’s that bad,” I replied.

I had a great plan - I would call the police on him, and they would have to believe me. I would simply tell them that I thought my car was in reverse when I drove into his car. I was so scared and frazzled from his yelling that I just wanted to get out of there! My plan was going to work like a charm. Fifteen minutes had passed and I was wondering if the police were even going to show up at all. I was able to find some pajamas for the girls in the diaper bag and got them cozy and ready for bed. I was tired and just wanted to get the police interview over with. My mother was waiting up with me but she looked exhausted and unsure.

“BANG, BANG, BANG! It’s the police! Open up!” a man with a deep, authoritative voice demanded. “What the hell? They are seriously rude. It is late and I didn’t do anything wrong!” I whined. Fixing my hair before opening the door, I took my time to unlatch the lock. “Hi, come in!” I sweetly said, in an attempt to butter them up. Only two men walked in, although I knew that more were out there assessing my car. Immediately upon entering, the taller officer demanded to know “Are you Elizabeth Jeter?” “Yes sir.” I replied, with the highest attempt of maturity that I could. “So, what kind of drugs are you taking?” he immediately and coldly asked. “I’m not…” I began. “Just cut the bullshit and tell me what you’re on!” he interrupted. Tears began flooding from my eyes. I was so offended that he accused me of using drugs that I had always stayed far away from. “I am not on any drugs! Drug test me RIGHT NOW!” I screamed at him. I must have been convincing, as he quickly changed his tone.

“Okay, well I believe that you’re not on drugs. Any person who is on drugs never offers to take a drug test.” I nodded to affirm his statement. “I am Officer Michaels and this is my partner, Officer Herald. Now, we need to ask you some questions. But if you lie to us, we’ll know it, and you will go to jail right away. If you just tell us the truth, we can work with you. Okay?” he stated. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be glad to tell you the truth,” I said, gaining a small bit of confidence back.

Officer Michaels went to the back of the house to speak with my mother and to inquire about Zoe and Chloe. Officer Herald would be the one to question me. We sat down on the stools near the kitchen breakfast area. He took out his notepad and began to question me about the entire incident, start to finish. I recalled the events truthfully until it came to the demolition derby that I had initiated. What I didn’t know was that I had already incriminated myself with a statement that I assumed to be innocent. “Where were Zoe and Chloe when you pulled into the parking lot to get the key?” he sympathetically asked, playing a definite “good cop” role. “Oh, they were sleeping in the back seat. They didn’t wake up at all through all of the yelling, and I was so happy for that!” I idiotically replied.  As we progressed into the interview, I answered his questions confidently with the innocent lie I had concocted to save my ass. “Elizabeth, I like you, but that is total bullshit. Just tell me the damn truth so we can get out of here and resume our night!” He begged. He sensed my stubbornness. He knew that he had to get me to trust him and get to my level if I were to fess up to anything.

Tears began rolling down my face. I refused to admit that I was that stupid. I was even afraid to admit it to myself. “When Josh was between you and his car, did you want to run him over  - because he thought that you were going to kill him,” he asked. “Of course not! I would never kill a person!” I said. I saw the look on his face. BINGO. He had all of the information that he needed. Oh God. Dear God. I prayed, silently. Please don’t let me go to jail. I’ll never do anything bad ever again. Please, please, just one more chance! I was not that kind of person. I didn’t belong in jail. I was not a bad statistic. Everything would be fine, and like the officer promised, if I just told the truth, they would be moving on with their night. I didn’t think that would include taking me for a ride in the back seat.

The taller officer came into the kitchen area and when Officer Herald gave him a nod he said to me, “Elizabeth, I need you to stand up.” Well, what the heck. Maybe it’s just a sobriety test. Don’t you get tackled to the ground when you go to jail? I pounced up and flipped my hair, “Okay, can I help you?” I asked. He looked at me like I was a total retard. “Turn around, and place your hands behind your back.” Oh shit. This is not happening. This is one of those scare tactics you see in those boot camp shows.

They are totally going to let me go. They just want to teach me a lesson. I bargained. As I felt the heavy, metal cuffs tighten around my tiny wrists, the floodgates opened again. “You are being charged with felony vandalism and felony child cruelty. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a Court of Law…” Child cruelty? Isn’t that a bit extreme? What the hell! They were SLEEPNG!!! I screamed, inside my head. As the police officer finished reading me my rights, my mom looked at me helplessly. “It’s going to be okay honey; just do what they say,” she said as she attempted to offer me reassurance. “But what about Chloe and Zoe? My babies need me!” I said while sniffling between each heartbroken word. “They’ll be fine, Lizzy; I’ll take care of them,” my mom promised in a broken voice and also on the verge of tears. Helplessly, I walked ahead, with no shoes on, and no faith remaining in myself as a person, a daughter, and most painfully, a mother. I was not going down without a fight. I had an idea.