Authors: Hannah Foster
"I think so," he answered.
"It means there are lots of parts to a particular situation and it's not always easy to understand them all."
"Eric is complicated about my mom?" he asked hopefully.
Chuckling softly, Andrew nodded. "Something like that."
"So will you help me?" he asked, returning to his
original question.
"Of course I will" he told him, knowing there was nothing he would deny the little boy.
"Do you....do you know her?" he asked.
Treading carefully, but unwilling to lie to Jack more than
he already had, he nodded. "I do."
"What's she like?"
Andrew smiled and ruffled his hair. "Well, she's smart and funny. And sometimes she can be pretty goofy" he reached out to
lightly tickle the boy. And," he continued as the boy's giggles subsided, "I also think she's pretty special - she'd have to be to make you."
Laughing as he pulled his knapsack from his back, Jack
reached inside and pulled out his notebook and a pencil. "I don't want to make it a long letter. I just want her to know I miss her and to ask her to come home."
"Okay buddy - start writing and I'll help you with your
spelling and stuff."
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in," Andrew called distractedly.
"Hey Drew, the nurse said I could find you here. I'm
getting antsy and was wondering if I could-"
The words died on Nathalie's lips.
Her eyes fell on the young boy seated on the couch with his father's smile and his mother's laughing eyes. In an instant she recognized
him. She shook her head, sure she was imagining the sight before her. It was simply not possible to see what she was seeing.
Andrew scrambled to his feet. "Nathalie."
Jack, looking up from his notebook, dropped his pencil.
"Mom?"
Her mouth dropped open and she gasped for air as her lungs tightened and closed. Her knees trembled and her hands shook and she could not take her eyes from her son. He was beautiful.
And as though cob webs were suddenly being swept away her
heart started to beat quickly, filled with a love she had been sure deserted her. At the same time anguish, regret and total fear swept through her and while she wanted to step towards him, she could not. Turning on her heel, she
fled from the office and took off down the hall.
"NAT!" Andrew cried as she disappeared from the door. Stricken, he turned and looked at Jack who was staring into the space where his mother had just been standing.
"That...that was my mom," he said bewildered. "And she ran away."
Crouching down, he put his hands on Jack's legs. "Jack," he sighed "I know you're really confused right now and
we have....we have a lot of explaining to do but I need to go check on your mom. Can you promise me that you'll stay here - right here in my office - until I get back? I promise we will explain everything to you then, okay?"
"Is....is my mom sick?" he asked, looking
wide-eyed at his friend.
Andrew nodded. "Yes."
"Are you taking care of her?"
"I am and that's why I need to go see her."
"Okay," he nodded. "I'll stay here."
Overwhelmed at how this child seemed to possess more common sense than any of the adults involved, he kissed the top of his head.
"I'll be back."
He walked purposefully across the room and closed the door behind him before sprinting down the hall to Nathalie's room. While he hated the hell his best friend lived through because of her, he also recognized the
devastating unfairness of her finding out about Jack like that. She had her own demons, he knew, and this would only make them stronger. Skidding to a halt, he stepped inside her room.
"Nathalie."
With her back to him as she haphazardly threw her clothes
into her small suitcase, she shook her head. "Get out" she said flatly.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going home," she replied, still not turning
around.
"You are home" he reminded her.
Spinning around, she pinned him to the wall with an angry glare. "That is....that is my son in your office and don't you dare try to
deny it," she told him, taking one serrated breath after another.
"I won't deny it," he answered evenly, stepping quietly towards her. "That is Jack - Jack Grant."
Sniffling, she shook her head. "Did you have a good
laugh, the three of you? Did you? Poor pathetic Nathalie-"
"No one is laughing Nathalie." Reaching out he touched her shoulder and was surprised at how violently she shook it off.
"Let's go back to my office - you can...you can talk to Jack. And I'll call Sarah and Eric-"
"I'm going home" she repeated, returning to her suitcase.
Seeing her still shaking, Andrew tried a different track.
"You can't leave, you need surgery."
"No I don't. I.am.going.home" she stated, trying to keep her tears at bay.
"What do you mean you're going home?"
Turning, Nathalie's green eyes danced dangerously as she came face to face with Eric and her sister. Andrew sighed and covered his mouth with his hand.
"Well, well, well" she greeted them sarcastically.
"You're just in time for today's floor show! I mean the last few days have been repeats of 'watch Nathalie turn herself inside out with guilt and remorse' but today - today we have a special show where our performer discovers she isn't the only secret keeper."
"What the hell did you do, Drew?" Sarah hissed.
"Nothing" he answered tightly. "Jack is in my office and Nathalie came by to see me."
"Shit" Eric said under his breath.
"Natty, I can explain."
"Really Sarah? You can explain? You can explain how I asked you - I begged you - to place my child for adoption and eight years later
it turns out you just haven't quite got around to it?"
"It's not like that," Eric offered, trying to diffuse the rising tension.
The unadulterated fury in her eyes caused him to take a step
back. "It isn't?" she challenged. "I guess not. I mean we have the caring aunt, the loving father, the doting uncle. Add me as the screw up mother and a laugh track and we have our very own sitcom!" Beads of perspiration pooled on her forehead and her breathing continued in ragged
spurts.
"Nathalie," Andrew began calmly. "I need you to take a minute, calm down and breathe. You're going to push yourself into a seizure if you don't."
"Shut up Drew" she hissed before turning her gaze back to Sarah. "I'm waiting Sarah - you said you could explain. You can, apparently, explain how you betrayed my trust. Is that a special course in law school or does it just come naturally to you?"
Sarah flinched at her sister's words and Andrew had to physically stop himself from going to her side.
"I thought you were going to change your mind," she whispered.
"Based on WHAT?" she screamed. "You....you were there!! You KNOW what I went through. You know what it cost me to make that choice! Based on what did you think I was going to change my mind?"
"I...I thought once you got better you would regret
giving him up. I was trying to help you."
"HELP ME?" she scoffed. "I told you exactly what help I needed and I thought you were going to provide it. 'Don't worry,'
you said. 'I love you Natty and I will help you through this,' you said, 'anything you need' you said-"
"I did this for you" she told her.
"LIAR! You did this for you. You get to play mommy to
my son and play happy families with Eric. All the benefits of being in a committed relationship without actually having to commit. It's the best of both worlds for you." She turned to Eric. "And you - watching me so incredibly twisted with guilt when we talked and you never said a word. I mean
you were ready to nail me to the cross for what I did to you but conveniently forgot to mention that you....you....had Jack. The son you never wanted"
"The son I didn't know about" he snapped.
"You're doing a lot of finger pointing Nat but you are forgetting your role here-"
She shook her head. "Oh but I'm not. I am fully aware of what I have done and it has eaten me up inside," she sniffed. "But
I see now it was all needless. The three of you have a happy, complete life with J-Jack. Far be it from me to interrupt that." She turned and angrily zipped her suitcase.
"You're wrong" Sarah said, finally finding her
voice. "This wasn't for me. I love Jack and I won't apologize for it but you and you alone are the one who put me in this position -who put all of us in this position. You asked me to help you and I did - you do not get to accuse me
of a hidden agenda. I was at your bed side and I watched you come apart" she reminded her with hot, angry tears streaming down her face, "and I made a decision on what I thought was best for you I had no idea that you would
cut me out of your life like you did to everyone else. I love you and I won't apologize for trying to act in your best interests."
"My best interests?" she scoffed. "I told you what was in mine - and Jack's - best interests. Thanks for proving I was right
to cut off contact. I don't need a selfish, heartless liar masquerading as a sister in my life."
Sarah gasped audibly and struggled to keep her composure.
"That's enough Nathalie!" Andrew interjected
angrily.
"Damn straight it's enough" she agreed, pulling her suitcase from the bed and moving towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" Eric asked,
blocking the door.
"Home. To Tanzania."
He shook his head. "Not a chance. If you want to get out of here, fine. Then you and I can go somewhere and talk."
She smirked mirthlessly. "What makes you think I have anything to say to you?"
"You have lots to say," he told her. "And so do I. And you owe me."
Nathalie's eyes glistened with tears unshed and she shook
her head. "You're an asshole" she whispered tearfully.
"Probably," he agreed. "But that doesn't change the fact that you still owe me an explanation."
He reached for her hand. "We can go to my place, it's not far from here"
She shook off his hand. "Don't touch me." She kept hold of her suitcase and followed him to the door.
"Natty!" Sarah called.
She turned to her sister, her green eyes ice cold. "I have nothing to say to you."
Sarah watched her sister leave the room and angrily turned to Andrew. "You must be loving this."
"I'm not" he said quietly.
"Sure you are - you told us this would happen. So go ahead," she pushed, ignoring the tears, "go ahead and tell me you
told me so. It will give you such satisfaction."
Moving towards her, he took her hand and gently tugged her to him. "I don't want to say it" he told her.
"Leave me alone."
"No" he insisted as he wrapped his arms around
her.
"I don't know what to do" she mumbled against his chest.
He pressed his lips to her cheek. "We're going to go to my office and we're going to talk to Jack."
"I can't."
"Yes you can and I'll help you."
#
She had been stonily silent on the short taxi ride, not even
acknowledging him. As they rode the elevator to his penthouse apartment, Eric snuck a look at her and was secretly pleased to see the determined set to her jaw. She was angry and to his mind that was a good thing. If she still had fight left in her it meant the woman he had loved was in there, underneath all
those layers of pain and fear.
He unlocked the door and she brushed past them. Standing back he watched her as she glanced around the living room. He wondered what she saw, what information about him she took from seeing his place. The large
apartment with its high ceilings, hardwood floors and modern furniture was a long way from their tiny apartment in Chicago with its river view and hand me down furniture.
"I'm going to make some tea" he told her,
depositing his keys on a side table and heading towards the kitchen.
"I'm not thirsty" she replied petulantly.
"Tough."
Nathalie walked over to the bookcase and a cold shiver ran
through her body as she came across a collection of framed photos of Jack. There was one of him lying on the grass, holding a ball. He could not have been more than six months old. The next photo, he looked to be about three and was
dressed in a Yankees shirt that hung to the floor and was sitting in between Andrew and Eric smiling happily. The third photo was clearly from his first day of school. The image of him with his Transformers backpack and his Yankees
baseball cap took her breath away. The pain from all the moments she missed, from all she had given up threatened to crush her. She turned the photos face down.
Returning to the living room Eric made a beeline to the
bookcase, he turned up the photos and shook his head. "The sight of your son is that disturbing to you that you have to hide him? You must have been glad to get rid of h-"
He had not finished his sentence before her open hand landed
firmly on his cheek. Stunned by the first slap, he anticipated the second one and grabbed her hand.
"Shut up" she seethed, tears tumbling down her cheeks. "You have no idea...you just have no idea."
His face softened. "You're right. I don't and it's time for you to tell me."
"You don't know what you're asking me" she whispered.
"That's true but I promise I'll listen and I promise
you are safe here. I'm not going to hurt you Nat."
She smiled sadly as she sank onto the couch. "But I did hurt you."
Eric nodded. "Yeah, you did." He swallowed thickly
before voicing the question that had plagued him for seven years. "Did you really think so little of me - of us- that you had to leave rather than tell me you were pregnant?"