Longboard (Desk Surfing Series Book 1) (4 page)

              The meeting was two-fold.  The committee members wanted assurances that our finances were solid, so they felt safe with us reinsuring part of their portfolio.  But Longboard also wanted us, and by us I mean me, to market our investment products to them.  Longboard wanted to cut out the middle man.  Instead of reinsuring an insurance company that the committee was invested in, Longboard wanted the committee to turn over some of that pension fund money directly to us.  Specifically, he wanted the committee to invest in our
KW Queen Assets Fund
.  It was registered with FINRA and most people in the industry thought it was a good fund.  The only drawback was that it was only invested in Hawaiian companies.  Even the name was a reference to, Queen Lydia, the last Hawaiian monarch.  Pension funds usually liked diversification and the State of Hawaii was small when comparing investment products.  It was going to be an uphill battle to try to get more money into our
Queen Assets Fund
, especially if we wanted more pension money.  Pension funds were always conservative.  So you had to show them your investment products were more conservative.  And there were rules on how much they could have allocated to any specific company.  I had to convince them our fund was diversified enough to meet their guidelines.   If it wasn't, we could always get the money upfront and add more companies to the fund later, to keep the pension fund in compliance with regulations.  It would be a win-win for them and us.  That's the way Longboard saw it.

              I stood up and looked for Malia to be coming in the door with the committee members.  There were supposed to be five of them but sometimes there were no-shows.  And sometimes there were add-ons.  So it was always a surprise to see what happened at the eleventh hour.  But as Malia stepped in, I counted five in suits:  three in men's suits; two in ladies' suit skirts.  I could hear Romy greeting them and Malia explaining that we would try to keep everything on schedule, so she escorted them toward the conference room.  Longboard always wanted us to have a team approach, so I shouted hey to Malia first.  She replied.  I stepped forward to meet all the investors shaking hands, making eye contact and memorizing subtle details so I could categorize the name with the detail.  You had to do it that way.  Even with name cards, you couldn't always be searching for a name.  That was one principle to being a marketing manager.  Your clients were your family, so long as they were around.  So I got the names down and did my best to keep them at the forefront of my memory. 

              I lead the committee members into the conference room and asked them to sit down.  I told them that Longboard would be in soon to greet them.  But it seemed like Longboard was avoiding me, so I didn't know what
soon
meant.  I let Malia lead them in a round of her usual chit-chat.  She was better at the small talk than me.  But I was better at the long con.  Longboard walked in and shot a look in the opposite direction from Malia and myself.  The one difference with how Longboard walked into the room was that he had an espresso complete with saucer in his hand.  There were five committee members sitting across the table from Malia and I.  Longboard took his place next to Malia.  She was in the middle.  Longboard was nearest the door and I was nearest the window.  I guess I had to give Longboard points for not grabbing me and doing me on the conference table.  I'd always have to wonder if I dripped on the damn thing.  I just didn't want that thought in my head.  But then I remembered getting on the table, so I might have actually dripped on it.  But it looked clean.  The table had the same shiny glow that it had every time we had a presentation.  I guess Longboard wiped it down before he left.  I'm just glad he didn't fuck me on the table.  Something about acting professional when less than twelve hours before, I was ass naked getting my boss off on the table.  And now I was sitting with my arms crossed trying to look like a career woman.

              "Would anyone like an espresso?" said Longboard.  Both Malia and I knew that was for the committee members, not the two of us.  Two out of five committee members were interested in an espresso.  And guess who had to make them.

              "Dawn," said Longboard, "Would you please?"

              "Of course." I was professional.  As I got up, I glanced across the table.  Even the committee members looked bewildered. 
Why would you send someone who is part of the presentation out to get coffee? 
It was the question on my mind and the committee members'.  The espresso maker was in Longboard's office but the coffee was in the kitchen.  I didn't want to slow myself by going into Longboard's office first, so I went to the kitchen and got coffee, whole bean.  The whole bean was for guests.  The rest of us drank pre-ground coffee.  I liked mine with a bit of coconut oil but I was alone on that.  I took the coffee to Longboard's office and I packed the coffee into the machine, looking out the window.  Longboard had a view but it wasn't such a good one.  It was an OK one.  The office had old world styling.  Black-and-white pictures of different Hawaiian beaches hung on the wall.  All the furniture was hand-carved.  IKEA was the only four-letter word Longboard didn't use.  His office was all heirloom pieces. 
Good for him
.  His desk had a calendar on it, along with expensive writing utensils.  The one thing you didn't find on his desk that you found on others was a computer.  He had one, just not on his desk.  His wide laptop was on the back wall buffet.  Longboard handled a lot of business on
Skype
so he didn't like having the window in the background because it blacked out his face.  So instead of having it on his desk, he had it behind him while he sat at his desk.  Then he would wheel his chair around for a vid-conference or chatting with his daughter.  He had a lot on that back buffet.  An assortment of syrups for Italian sodas stood on a silver serving tray.  He also had branded whiskey, vodka, rum, cognac and liqueurs.  The Alpha male among the bottles was a large glass mesh siphon bottle.  He knew how to treat his guests.  It was an atmosphere.  He led by example.  The rest of the office was likewise hospitable.  The hospitality came from leadership and filtered its way down through the company.

              That was part of the reason I didn't mind being made into a stewardess, woman-ing the espresso machine.  Hospitality toward guests was one thing we did well at
Key Way
.  I came back with two espressos in hand.  The stage lights were already dimmed, as if the presentation was about to start.  I walked around the table to set each espresso in front of the two women who ordered them.  I walked back around to the opposite side of the table.

              "If you find a better espresso in O'ahu, let us know and we'll invest in the chain."  I thought that was a good lead in.  But I didn't know how well my joke went over.  No one on the opposite side of the table cracked a smile.  But they were all older and committee members.  I guess jokes weren't their thing. 

              "It's true.  We do our due diligence," was all Longboard had to say.  I don't know if he tried to rescue my joke or if he was trying to make a point. 

              "Malia, will you go ahead and start us off," said Longboard.  I felt a bit shafted.  I knew Malia would be opening up but every meeting had a round of introductions.  If the introductions were without me, Longboard did it on purpose.  Malia pulled the laptop closer to her.  And started off with her first slide.  I held my pen to my tablet and scribbled a word every so often.  I wasn't really paying attention.  My mind was working on the
Rubik's Cube
that Longboard had tossed me.  Less than twenty-four hours before, I was working late on my slides when he called me into his office to
look at something
.  He showed me a few new logo designs because he said our current logo of the skeleton key was fourteen years old and outdated.  While I was studying the designs, he put his hands around my waist and slid them down my butt.  And then he carried on.  And I ended up literally desk surfing.  Pretty much the only thing I said was for him to close his laptop.  It was on the table behind his desk and the little webcam bulb was pointed directly at us.  After that I didn't say much.  Longboard took off everything he needed to get at what he wanted.  And he was old school.  He actually unbuttoned my blouse carefully.  Having a guy respect the fact that you don't want to buy a new blouse is a bit sexy.  After that, I just rode the wave.

              But he was acting like it was something he had to get out of his system, which clearly he did, because it was back to business as usual.  He wasn't bothered or bothered by me at all.  He didn't look in my direction once.  The nice thing about having Malia sitting between me and Longboard was that I didn't have to look up at the drop-down screen.  The thoughts in my mind were too heavy for my neck to hold my head up.  But I could just look at the laptop screen itself and pretend to be paying attention to what was said.  My ear drowned out Malia's voice.  I could only hear inflection points.  But staring at a computer screen felt like being in my quad without the privacy of being in my quad.  It was an explosive feeling.  I had to find a way to contain it.  Excusing myself wasn't an option because my presentation was next.  I wasn't about to jeopardize my standing with the committee or Longboard for sake of some lack of explanation eating at me.  Longboard was playing Boss.  So I decided to play badass investment marketing manager.  I refocused all that nervous energy into excitement.  I was about to get Longboard that phone call.  The investors wouldn't make a decision right away but they would remember what I gave them.  I had to give them enough to make them pick up the phone.  And that was the period on the sentence.  I wasn't worried about anything passed that.  I just funneled that energy into my presentation.  The energy was so backlogged I couldn't focus on anything else.  My side vision grew dark.  I just wanted to show Longboard I could keep my head in the game.  If it was some kind of challenge, he was going to get his and then some.

              "And now I want to turn it over to our associate, Dawn Krizman," said Malia.   There was no applause.  It was a sit down meeting.  I'm sure the committee was surprised at an Asian-looking girl with the name Dawn Krizman.  It sounded like a white girl.  But my dad's Slovene last name and my mom's Pacific Islander and Chinese roots clashed like blonde hair and dark roots.  I know because I used to dye blonde.  I let the committee members go figure.  I was about to nail that presentation to the table.  And send Longboard a metaphor.  Malia turned the laptop in my direction.

              "Thank you, Malia."  That was how I started off.  I didn't start like a regular slide show.  I started with the opposite of what I wanted to talk about, people being too liberal with their cash.  I talked about the 2008 Financial Crisis and how people ended up underwater.  I only wish I had a meme or some cool slide to show a 4-bedroom house sinking or some dude driving a submarine home because his house was underwater.  I then went on to explain how our
KW Queen Assets Fund
targeted businesses with ultra-low debt.  I reminded the committee that just preceding the Great Recession, ratings agencies had a gold star glued on every kind of mortgage product.  Obviously, that wasn't the case.  I went into how we did our diligence and the strategy behind looking at and investing in ultra-low debt businesses.  Most ultra-low debt businesses were small.  Larger companies usually had to take on debt because of experimenting with new products to grab new customers.  And they had quick product cycles, which meant sometimes they needed a bit more cash than what was on hand.  That's why they had to borrow.  I used the example of
Coke
doing
Coke Zero
and
Pepsi
doing
Pepsi Max
.  When
Coke
and
Diet Coke
became mature products, Coke had to switch up their product mix.  That takes market research and time for product development and marketing.  Smaller companies usually grow with the same business model and products.  They just try to reach more customers, through expansion. 

              I went back to college Economics 101.  I laid out how smaller companies were most at risk in a competitive environment.  They had to be better managed than big companies.  But because most firms didn't bother to look at the data involving smaller companies, there were a lot of opportunities.  They were hidden under rocks, but our expertise was looking under rocks.  And we favored smaller companies with virtually no debt, because they were primed for growth without debt as a drawback.  Then I asked the question.

              "Which company to you expect to double in size in the next three years: 
Apple
or
PilikiaFree.com
?"  Well you might be inclined to say
Apple
because at least you've heard of it.  But
PilikiaFree.com
you've most likely never heard of."  I looked across the table to see if any eyes lit up.  Apparently, none of the committee members knew anything about
PilikiaFree
. 

              "Those of you familiar with the native Hawaiian language may know that
pilikia
means 'trouble' so the site's name is meant to imply that it's trouble free to do business on the site.  They started out as a retailer on
Amazon Marketplace
but then continued to have their own outlet here on O'ahu.  They sell second hand specialized gear, like
Garmin
navigation systems, sonar systems and even
GoPro
equipment.  They have technicians who can repair and certify the equipment themselves because they have certification agreements with the companies whose products they deal with.  And they resell for much below the price of a new device.  It's a win-win because
PilikiaFree
has great relations with the companies they work with, so they help large companies control their product quality in the second-hand market or aftermarket goods. 
PilikiaFree
grew its business at 24% last year. 
Apple
can't get much bigger but
PilikiaFree
can.  And its continued growth would spell continued payout for retirees.  That's what we're looking for, growing companies that will increase payouts for the long-term.  The large companies that steer the US economy today are not necessarily going to be at the ship's wheel tomorrow. 
PilikiaFree
might never be at the ship's wheel but we don't need it to be.  And we're not expecting that.  We just need it to continue to run its business as professionally as they are and not taking on too much debt.  We've met with the guy in charge at
PilikiaFree
and he's in line with our goals of having well-managed small companies that stay out of debt.  And the interesting thing is that our
Queen Assets Fund
isn't even invested in
PilikiaFree.com
.  We know what we know by way of doing our due diligence.  So far we have twenty-seven companies in our
Queen Assets Fund
.  And all of them have been vetted with higher scrutiny than
PilikiaFree
.  And all meet our criteria of having zero or next to no debt.  Another advantage that we believe we have with our
Queen Assets Fund
is that we only invest in US companies.  Not that we don't keep an eye on international markets but we don't like to get involved in obscure regulatory environments.  Plus, we recognize with global integration, most US-based companies do have business overseas.  So all twenty-seven of the companies in the
Queen Assets Fund
are right here at home and fourteen are local Hawaiian businesses that do business in Asia.  If I've peeked your interest I want to remind you that there's more in store.  Just let us know."