Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain #1) (8 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Hudson

“I hope you don’t mind, but the food I brought is for me to cook,” I say as I start pulling groceries out of the bags. Ellie is sitting on the counter, peeking into some of the bags.

“Of course not. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“You just sit there and look pretty.” I grin when her cheeks turn pink.

“Do you even know where the pots and pans are?” She asks with a soft laugh.

I shake my head. “Nope, but I’ll find them.” I’m going to fix chicken with a creamy sauce, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Easy peasy. While I get to work and Ellie watches me from her seat on the counter, I can’t help but think about her reaction to the dress and wonder what else she wants that I could give her. It wasn’t that difficult to get the dress. She had already told me where it was and how much it all cost. All I did was ask the women working there if they remember her and everything she tried on. That one woman in particular has an excellent memory with how quickly she recalled everything.

Once the food gets to cooking, Ellie hops down and walks over to me. She bumps my shoulder, looks down at the stove, and says, “Are you sure you don’t need any help? I feel like I should be helping.” Ellie glances up at me. She looks too perfect, so I lean down a little to kiss her forehead.

“Are you questioning my cooking capabilities?” I tease.

“Well, I haven’t ever seen you cook.” She smiles slightly.

“I’ve never seen you cook either.” I raise a brow at her, and she laughs.

“Good point.”

Even though I told her she didn’t have to, she reaches for a utensil and pokes at the chicken. I step to the side so we’re both able to stand in front of the stove. If she absolutely wants to help, then of course she can. We quietly cook dinner together with little touches here and there. Ellie grabs the plates while I finish up and turn everything off.

A few minutes after we’ve sat down at her table and have begun to eat, Ellie turns in her seat towards me a little.

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Lacey wants to meet you. She’s been bugging me about it, and I told her I would ask.”

“Um,” I start, but then stop before I answer. What if I meet her and she recognizes me? I haven’t figured out how I’m going to tell her yet and if that happens, I can’t stop her best friend from telling her.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s fine,” Ellie adds hastily.

Here’s to hoping that since Ellie has mentioned me to her already, she doesn’t know anything either. “No, it’s okay. I’d love to meet her. Just let me know when you’re thinking, so I can make sure it’s not a work day.”

“Really? Are you sure?” When I nod, Ellie grins, leans over, and quickly kisses me. “Thanks, Hudson.”

“Any time.”

She then dives into talking about her work and her boss, who sounds like an ass. She briefly talks about the dinner she has to go to and her eyes light up. Ellie can’t wait to wear that dress and I can’t wait to see her in it. After dinner, we clean up the kitchen together. I can’t help but notice how relaxed Ellie seems tonight. She takes my hand, leading me out to her back porch, where it has started to rain.

There’s a two person rocking chair and Ellie sits down, bringing me to sit next to her. We listen to the drops of rain hitting the various objects, making a different sound for each one to create one overall noise.

“This is my favorite thing about this place. I love to sit on the porch,” Ellie says, resting her chin on my shoulder as she looks at me.

“Really? So if you’re not in a good mood, I should make you sit out here with me so you will feel better?”

She smiles and nods. “Mhm. Thank you so much for the dress and everything. I still can’t believe you did that.”

Angling myself towards her better, I kiss her softly and rest my forehead against hers. “It was my pleasure, Ellie.”

Her eyes search mine for a moment. I catch myself wondering what she’s thinking, what does she see, and what she’s searching for? Before she can say anything, I push her hair behind her ear, my hand staying tangled in her hair at the base of her neck and mumble, “You’re gorgeous.”

My eyes keep jumping between her mouth and her eyes.

Faintly, Ellie says, “What are you waiting for?” The corner of her mouth lifts a little into a smile.

“You,” I answer before pressing my lips to hers.

Ellie’s tongue quickly finds mine causing me to groan a little. To be more comfortable, I grab her hips, lift her, and sit her in my lap, so she’s straddling me. Her hands loosely wrap around my neck, and I pull away to kiss her cheek. I’m about to make sure she’s still okay, but Ellie’s lips find mine before I can ask.

Her fingers run into my hair as I taste her. Then I kiss my way along her jaw and down her neck. Her head tilts backwards, her eyes closed, lost in the heat of our bodies. I run my nose along her collarbone. To ground myself, I grab her thighs and then find her mouth again, sucking her tongue between my lips. Ellie starts to kiss me harder as she leans into me. My hands seem to have a mind of their own as they travel up her thighs to her hips around to her back, slipping underneath her shirt.

It takes everything within me to keep them at her lower back. Ellie’s hands, however, show no restraint as they move away from my neck. Her fingers glide down my arms to my elbows, back up and then down my chest, stopping midway before repeating the process. Just when I’m about to explode with the need to have her, Ellie pulls away.

She bites her lower lip as she tries to slow down her breathing. Her eyes snap to where her hands are low on my stomach before she looks back at me, a smile playing on perfect, just-kissed lips.

“Sorry,” she breathes, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I forgot my manners.”

I grin. “Yes, you did.”

The wind shifts causing the rain to start blowing on us. Ellie stands, takes my hand, and says, “C’mon. Let’s go back inside. Do you want some water?”

“Yes, thank you.”

While she’s opening the fridge and getting the bottled water, she asks, “There’s one more thing I want to ask you.” When she hands me the bottle, she adds, “Would you like to be my date for the dinner?”

“When is it?”

Her eyes squint as she thinks. “The 10th of next month, I think.”

The date rings a bell and if I’m not mistaken, there’s a fundraiser I’m attending that night. “I wish I could, but there’s something with work I have to go to that night and there’s no way I can cancel. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hudson. I understand. I figured if you were my date, then you could see me in the dress.”

“Since I can’t, why don’t you go put it on right now?”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Now?” She asks, her voice a little high as if it suddenly scares her.

“Yes, now. I want to see how stunning you look in it. Please, Ellie? Before I have to go home?”

She seems to think about it and then says, “If I put it on, will you stay the night? It is a bit late and it’s raining too. Plus, I want you to stay.” That last sentence comes out in a whisper. “Unless you really have to go,” she adds.

Shaking my head, I tell her, “No, I can stay.”

Ellie smiles, kisses my cheek, and disappears into her bedroom. I didn’t even have to tell her to go try on the dress. I wait in the living room on the couch, checking my phone for any messages or missed calls. There’s a voicemail from my mother, so I listen to it real quick.

“Hey, Hudsy. It’s Mom. I hadn’t heard from you yet. Give-”

I pull my phone away from my ear when Ellie steps into the living room, the rest of the message still playing.

“Wow,” I manage to say as I stand.

“Do you like it?” She turns in a circle, so I can see her from every angle. That dress was made for her, fitting her body perfectly, the purple bringing out her brown eyes.

Swallowing hard, I stare at her for a second longer. “I love it. You look spectacular, Ellie.”

Her smile widens, and she twirls again. “Thank you,” she repeats, walking over to hug me.

“You are so, so welcome,” I tell her. Pulling away so I can look at her again, all I can manage to say once more is, “Wow.”

Ellie’s cheeks flush. “I should go take it off before I mess it up or something.”

She turns and goes back into her bedroom with me so close to asking if she needs any help. Instead, I sit down on the couch and listen to the rest of my mother’s message before Ellie returns. This time, when we go to sleep, Ellie snuggles up to me. Smiling as I fall asleep, I know that she’s beginning to feel more comfortable and relaxed around me and less nervous.

~ ~ ~

It’s early afternoon when I get enough free time to return my mother’s call. I’m alone, grabbing a bite to eat at a local restaurant. She answers quickly as if she was waiting by the phone for my call.

“Hudsy, I was starting to worry,” she says.

“I’ve been busy, sorry.” We go through the formalities before I sigh.

“What is it?” She asks, concerned.

I begin to tell her about Ellie, how we met, what she does, and such. “But there’s a problem that I basically created. Mom, I was tired of girls wanting me because of my job, the money, the stereotypes, everything.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” she interrupts quietly.

“Ellie doesn’t follow sports at all, so she doesn’t know who I am. Our relationship has been completely normal and balanced. I knew that if I told her, everything would change. Not to mention that she thinks we’re overpaid and misuse the spotlight we are given. So, I let her assume that I’m an architect and I know I have to tell her, but I don’t know how.”

“Hudson,” my mother sighs. “If you’re waiting for the perfect moment, it’s never going to come. You shouldn’t have let her think that about your job. The longer you wait the worst it will be. Hockey is a part of you, Hudson. You shouldn’t hide that. I’m not going to tell you what you should have done because that part has already happened and there’s nothing we can do to change it. I think you need to remember what you love most about hockey, introduce it to her, and share that part of you with her. If she cares for you, she will eventually be able to forgive you. However, you need to tell Ellie and soon before she finds out from someone other than you.”

I run my hand through my hair. “She’s going to hate me.”

“Probably for a little while, yes. If it’s meant to be, it will be. I love you, Hudsy, and if I can help in anyway, just call me.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love you too.”

Chapter Fourteen

Ellie

We decide to have lunch together, and she hasn’t said anything since I told her that Hudson bought my dress. Lacey just sips on her glass of water.

“What’s wrong, Lace?” I ask her.

She dramatically huffs, sitting her glass of water down. “I have to sleep with a guy just to get dinner. But this guy buys you a designer dress and hasn’t even copped a feel from you yet. I mean, he’s like Prince-Freakin-Charming.” She picks up her fork and pokes at her food.

I’m not sure what to say. Is Lacey upset because Hudson got the dress for me? I don’t want her to be upset. She’s my best friend. “I didn’t tell you to have you mad at me.” I look down at the food on my plate.

“What? I’m not mad, Els. Why would you think that?”

“Because of what you just said.”

She rolls her eye. “Ellie, come on, you know me way better than that. I love you. I’m actually very glad that you found someone that likes you for you. Besides, if anyone deserves to be spoiled, it’s you. Does he have a brother? Or cousin? Someone you could hook me up with?” She smiles at me.

I shake my head. “Um, I talked to Hudson about meeting you. He texted me this morning and said that we could do it next week?”

“You know I’ll make time to meet Prince-Freakin-Charming.” She smiles at me.

I giggle at her. As we finish our lunch, we talk about some mutual clients that we have and the ins and outs of our jobs.

“So, what are you doing tonight?” Lacey asks.

“Hudson is coming over, since he is going to be gone pretty much the rest of this week.”

“Where is he going?”

“Out of town for work.”

“He seems to travel a lot to be an architect.”

I shrug. I have no clue how much an architect travels.

“What kind of project is he working on?”

“I don’t know.”

Lacey just shakes her head at me. I know that she cares about stuff like that, but I just care about being with Hudson.

“I meant to ask you what his place is like. Where does he live in Portland?”

“I’ve never been to his place. I don’t know where he lives.”

She looks confused. “You’ve never been to his place.”

I shake my head. “He likes mine, because it’s not in the city.”

Lacey sits silent for a moment, lost in thought. “I think he’s married,” she finally states.

“What?” I yell so loud that people actually turn and look at me. ‘What?” I say a little bit softer.

“Think about it: he ‘travels’ a lot, you don’t go to his place, and he never takes you out. He has to be married.”

“Hang on,” I put my elbow on the table and rub my head, “we’ve gone out in public. I went to dinner with his sister.”

“Yeah, in Seattle,” she clarifies.

I stare at her, and my mind begins to wonder. Could she be right? Is Hudson married? Lacey’s right. We don’t go out in Portland. He’s always coming to me. I don’t know anything about his travels, and he hardly talks about work.

“Wait,” I look at Lacey, leaning in closer, “don’t men have affairs to have sex? I’m not giving him that. You know that.”

“Well, I don’t know, but you need to get more information before your sugar daddy’s crazy-ass wife knocks on your door.”

“He’s not my ‘sugar daddy.’” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’m not even sure what that means.

She gives me a pointed look. “Well, he’s spoiling you, therefore he’s a sugar daddy.” She quickly looks at her watch. “I’ve got to go. Text me the date of this dinner, so I can kick his married ass.”

“Five minutes ago you called him Prince Charming,” I remind her.

“Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were the same person.” She kisses my cheek, throws money on the table, and races out the door.

I sit there for a moment thinking about everything that Lacey said. I can’t believe that Hudson would be married. However, Lacey makes a valid point. I put some money on the table and head out the door. I have several clients to follow-up with today, so I spend most of the afternoon in my car traveling.

I start thinking more and more about Hudson and the possibility of him being married. I don’t want it to be true. I can’t even imagine that it is. Every thought keeps running through my head about this situation. It’s starting to consume me, and I decide that I need to talk to him. On my last stop of the day, I sit in the doctor’s parking lot and call him.

“Hey beautiful, what ya calling for?” His voice sounds surprised. I can hear a lot of noise around him.

“Are you at work?”

“Nope, just out with some friends. What’s up?”

I don’t know how to bring this up. Do I say it on the phone? He’s with his friends and probably doesn’t want to say anything. This might be better in person.

“Um, I was just wondering if you were still coming for dinner tonight?”

“Yep, I’m leaving in just a few. Why?”

“Well, I’m not too far from Portland. I could come to your place?” I don’t know why I said it. Maybe to hear his reaction?

“That’s not going to work for me. I’ll just see you at your place. Okay?”

Oh my God, he is married. I lay my head on my steering wheel on the verge of banging my head. I’m so stupid. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost two months, and I didn’t even realize that he’s married.

“Ellie? Are you still there?”

“What?” I come back to the conversation.

“I said I’ll see you in about an hour, okay?”

“Okay.” I hang up quickly, before anything else can be said. I pull out of the parking lot and head home. The tears are on the brim of my eyes, ready to fall.

The moment I get in my house, I head straight for the wine bottle. I need to calm myself before I confront Hudson. I go and sit on my back porch, gulping my wine. Looking out my back porch and hearing the sounds of nature is what I need to relax. However, the longer I sit there, the more upset I become. I don’t feel like Hudson is married, but the signs are there. I just can’t believe it though. He doesn’t seem like the type. What if I confront him and he just leaves?

“Ellie!” I hear Hudson call from the kitchen. I stand up and head his way. “You enjoying the nice evening?” He smiles at me.

“Hudson,” I shift uncomfortably, “we need to talk about something very important that I think you’re hiding from me.”

Shock washes over his face. I can see his eyes widen. My heart races as I open my mouth, “Why haven’t I been to your apartment yet?”

He looks confused for a moment. “It’s basically just a bachelor pad, not that great, and I thought you would be more comfortable here at your place. It’s more homey here anyway.”

“Then why is it that we never go out to dinner? The one time it happened was in Seattle and we were with your sister.”

“We just never plan to. Ellie, if you want me to take you out, I can. There are plenty of places to go between here and Seattle.” He gives me a small smile.

“Why not Portland? Why can’t we go to Portland?” I push.

“We’re closer to Seattle. It makes more sense to go there, doesn’t it?”

“I guess, but it seems like you’re hiding something, and I think I’ve figured it out. With all this ‘traveling’ and us never going out. I know the truth.”

“Ellie, we can go out more if you want and my traveling is for work because, well, I am-”

“You’re married,” I cut him off. My heart is racing thinking about him being married and using me.

“Married?” Shock and confusion comes over his face. “What? No. Ellie, I’m not married. I-”

“You travel all the time, it’s hard to get a hold of you sometimes, you never take me out, it all adds up.” I cross my arms, trying to protect myself from the fact of this revelation.

“No, it doesn’t.” He shakes his head. “It adds up to me being a workaholic. I told you the day we met that I wasn’t married because I work too much. I promise you, I’m not married.”

“You’re not married? You swear.” I point my finger at him. I trust Hudson and if he gives me his word, I’ll believe him.

“I swear. I’m not currently married, I’ve never been married, and I’m not engaged. There’s only you, Ellie. I promise.” He steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around me.

“I was talking to Lacey and everything started to make sense. I’m sorry. I just thought that you were married,” I say into his chest.

“It’s okay. I understand.” He smooths my hair.

“I was so upset thinking you were married, that I didn’t even cook anything.” I look up at him.

He gives me a sideways grin and kisses my forehead. “I’m not really all that hungry, but how about we start the movie, and if we’re hungry afterwards, we go grab something?”

I fake a shocked gasp and step out of his arms. “In public?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Yes, in public.” He holds out his hand, and we go into the living room. I sit in my usual spot, as he puts the movie in. When he sits on the couch, I automatically curl up to him.

As the movie starts, I stare at the TV screen, not really watching it. I start to think about the past two months. We’ve been seeing each other for two months. In that time, I’ve accused him of being married, almost pepper sprayed him, whipped him in the face with my hair, and he’s still here.

I start to think about the night on the porch. The way I felt kissing him, straddling his lap. I had kissed a few guys in my past, but none of them made my knees weak like Hudson does. I look up at him, and I realize that his scruff is becoming thicker.

“Are you growing a beard?” I inquire.

“Um, yeah.”

I sit up and touch his face, feeling the softness of his face. “I like it.”

He smiles, takes my hand, and kisses the inside of my wrist. The tenderness of his lips makes my heart race. He turns back to the TV, but I can’t stop looking at him.

“Hudson,” I say softly.

He turns to me. “Yes?”

I touch his face and pull his lips to me. I’ve never been so bold with anyone, ever. He moans as I push my tongue into his mouth. I pull him closer to me as I lay back. He cradles himself between my legs. My skirt hikes up as I open my legs for him. I run my hands through his soft hair and rest them on his neck. His fingertips softly trace my thigh, and my body shivers.

‘Hudson.” I break our kiss.

“Sorry, I got carried away.” He goes to pull away from me, but I stop him.

I let my trust and hormones take over for me because I know Hudson won’t hurt me. “Hudson, don’t stop.”

“What?”

“Don’t stop.”

“Ellie.” He closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, he is searching my face. “I need to ask you one thing, and it’s personal.” I nod. “How far have you gone with a guy?”

I feel my face heat up. “Not very far. But for the first time ever, I trust someone and I know that you wouldn’t hurt me. I know that you’re not after just one thing.”

“I told you that I would never ask you to do anything that you didn’t want to do.”

I thought for a moment and courage built up in me. “How about we make a deal?”

“A deal?” He looks perplexed.

I nod. “We continue, as far as it goes, until I say stop.”

“Ellie, I’m not letting you lose your virginity on a couch. I want it to be special for you.”

I scoff at him. “What are you going to do take me to Paris?”

“If that’s what you want.”

When I look in his eyes, I think that he might really do that, but I know that is just a crazy dream. It just makes my insides flutter thinking that he would do that for me.

“Do we have a deal?” I ask, biting my lip.

He leans in and whispers in my ear. “How about a compromise? How about I just show you how much I care about you without going all the way?” His scruff tickles my face as I nod. “But not on a couch.”

He stands, pulling me with him. He takes my hand and heads to the bedroom. He spins me, cupping my face. He gives me a sexy smirk and cocks one eyebrow. He kisses me and guides me towards the bed. I can feel myself shaking when my knees hit the bed.

“Ellie, I won’t hurt you. I promise. I’ll never hurt you.” I nod. He leans in, whispering in my ear. “Trust me.”

He takes a step back, pulling off his t-shirt. I’m trying to keep my jaw from dropping as I stare at his beautifully sculpted chest. He undid his belt, and I stop breathing. He steps back to me.

“Look at me.” I look into his beautiful, loving eyes. “Trust me.” He lightly kisses my lips.

I can’t move. I’m paralyzed, not in fear, but in lust. I’m holding myself in place so that I don’t do something wrong. I’m not even sure if I should look anywhere, except in his eyes. He drops his pants, and my mouth goes dry.

“Ellie, we’re not having sex. I promise.”

“I trust you,” I whisper.

“If you want me to stop, I will.”

I shake my head. My body is humming for him. He lightly caresses my cheek and kisses me. When he stops, I feel like there is no air in the room. He begins to unbutton my blouse, and my breasts are aching for his touch. I bite my lip as he pushes the blouse off my shoulders letting it fall. His lust filled eyes stare at me as he pulls my skirt down.