Lord Sinister (Secrets & Scandals Book 3) (5 page)

A memory of him escorting Amelia around a star-lit garden while trying to outdo each other on naming the constellations assailed Julian.  He had been quite impressed she had such knowledge and very much enjoyed spending the evening with her.  In fact, he started looking forward to seeing her at the various parties and soirees after that, and not because of Jeremy’s absurd bet.  It had been because he liked being in her company.

Alexander repeated his question, interrupting Julian’s thoughts.

“Your mother and I used to be friends.  I know all sorts of things about her.”  He paused to heave a doleful sigh.  “Or I used to know a great deal about her.  It’s been ten years since I last saw her.  I wish…  Oh, never mind.”

“What?” Alexander prodded.

“Well,” Julian feigned reluctance, “I really hate to pry.”

“It’s all right, sir.  I understand.  You’re curious about Mama because it’s been so long since you last saw her.”

He smiled, hiding his surprise.  He couldn’t believe that it took only one hint for the boy to realize what he meant.  “Yes, that’s it exactly.”  He turned serious.  “And I don’t want to ask your mother and unintentionally upset her.”

“I understand, sir.  What do you want to know?”

Where to begin?  “Well, why aren’t you traveling to England with your grandfather?”

Alexander’s brows snapped together, then he scrunched up his face in confusion.  “Grandfather, sir?  Perhaps you’re thinking of someone else?”

That stunned Julian.  “Your mother never mentioned her father to you?”

Slowly, the boy shook his head.  “No, sir.  Never.”

“Then why are you journeying to England?  Are you visiting your mother’s uncle or any of your father’s family?”

“No, sir.  Mama has found employment as a governess.”

“Employment?  As a governess?”

Alexander nodded.  “It pays a lot better than that sewing factory she—”

“Sewing factory?” Julian asked, not sure he heard right.  Amelia Jamison, daughter of the wealthy banker, Royce Jamison, worked in a sewing factory?  What sort of rubbish was this?

“Yes, sir.  And if I may ask, sir, why are you repeating everything I say?”

He snapped his mouth shut.  The boy was right.  And in order to hear the rest of this ludicrous tale, he had better stop.  “Sorry about that.  Pray, continue.”

Alexander eyed him dubiously for several seconds then shrugged.  “That’s it.  This fancy man from England offered Mama a job as a governess and she accepted.  But the tickets he’d given her to board the ship were stolen so we had to sneak aboard your ship.  It was necessary since our landlord, Mr. Wilks, had already rented our apartment.  We couldn’t stay, you see,” he finished angrily.

Julian cleared his throat, looking out over the moon-lit waters for several seconds.  He’d been watching the boy closely for signs of deceit.  Eyes sliding away, shuffling his feet, or a nervous tapping.  He found none of that.  Alexander’s face and demeanor conveyed no hint of deception at all.  Either the boy could lie better than anyone on the face of the earth…or he spoke the truth.

A strange, unsettling feeling came over Julian.  The back of his head tingled.  He struggled to understand what was going on.  To fit the odd pieces together.  Nothing made sense.  Evidently, Amelia had not gone to her father.  But then why had she traveled to America?

“Things were so different before…before Dr. Rutland died.  I wish he were still alive.”

Julian swiveled back around.  “Dr. Rutland?”

Alexander tipped his head back up, nodding sadly.  “For years, Mama worked as his assistant.  They healed sick people together.  We were so happy back then.  Until Dr. Rutland died and Peter told us we had to leave.  Nothing was the same after that.”

He frowned down at the boy.  “Who’s Peter?”

“Dr. Rutland’s nephew.”  Alexander’s eyes glistened with anger.  “He called Mama bad names and told her we had to move from Dr. Rutland’s house.  That happened February before last.”  His voice turned thick and he quickly looked away.  “On my eighth birthday.”

****

Amelia woke with a start and glanced around the dim cabin, her heart knocking hard against her chest.  Two drops of sweat trickled down the side of her face, the terrible dream fresh in her mind.

She shivered, still hearing Lord Julian’s laughter as he pitched her and Alex into the shark-infested sea.  She swiped a hand down her face, telling herself it was not real, just a horrifying nightmare.

Drawing in a deep breath, she turned to the chair, hoping she hadn’t disturbed Alex from his sleep.  But she found the cursed chair empty.

As her heart leapt up to her throat, she threw back the blankets and staggered out of bed.  Although still weak, she could walk and started for the door.  Until she realized she was clad in naught but her thin chemise.  “Curses!” She glanced around the small cabin and spotted her bag and trunk.  Relieved, she grabbed her brown dress and pulled it over her head, then slipped into her shoes.

Her mind kept conjuring images of Alex thrown into the ocean while a glistening triangular fin rose from the water, followed by another and another.  Once dressed, Amelia rushed to the door and pulled it open.  Cold, ocean air greeted her as she hurried up on deck.  Cursing the lack of light, she stumbled forward, wishing she could see half as well in dim light as her son.

Voices to her right drew her attention.  When she recognized one of them belonging to her son, she sighed in relief and started in his direction.  The conversation stopped and the two dark forms turned simultaneously.  The smaller one hurried up to her.

“Mama, what are you doing?” Alex asked worriedly.  “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”

Amelia shook her head then straightened.  “Looking for you, Alex,” she answered.  “I was concerned when I found you gone.”

He moved closer.  “You shouldn’t worry so much about me, Mama.  I can take care of myself.”

Instead of replying to her son’s comment, she turned to the man.  “I hope Alex hasn’t been keeping you from your duties, sir?”

“Not at all.”

Amelia tensed, not expecting to hear Lord Julian’s voice.

“The commander was telling me that you used to know each other,” Alex said.

She slowly turned to her son, a buzzing noise filling her ears.  She couldn’t have heard right.

“I keep forgetting you were born in England,” Alex continued.  “We should call on some of your other friends.  I’m sure they’ll remember you.”

Aware of Julian watching, listening, Amelia gave a slight nod, coming quickly to her senses.  “Perhaps.”  When Alex started to say something else, she added, “The hour is late, son.  Time for bed.”

“But, Mama, I’m not a bit tired.”

“Your mother is right, Alex.  Besides, if you don’t have enough rest, you won’t be able to assist me tomorrow.”

Amelia snapped her head around, about to inform Lord Julian her son would not be assisting him tomorrow or any other day when Alex spoke.  “Yes, sir!”  He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.  “Good night, Mama,” he whispered, and dashed off toward the cabin, more excited and happy than she had seen him in a very long time.

Amelia filled her lungs with some cold sea air.  Then she turned to Lord Julian, grateful he faced away from the moon’s light so she wouldn’t have to see him clearly.  “Realizing the burden I have placed upon your shoulders, my lord,” she began, proud of how calm she sounded, “I pray you take Alex and me to the nearest port.  You have been burdened enough already and I shouldn’t like to trouble you any further than necessary.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lord Julian shook his head.  “You’re not going anywhere. Not until I know everything.”

She took a quick step back.  “You’d keep us here?  Against our will?”

Instead of answering her question, he replied in a soft, unyielding voice, “I will know the truth, Amelia.”  Then he left, leaving her alone with his promise ringing in her ears and the cold wind whipping through her hair.

Folding her arms around her chilled body, she closed her eyes and drew in several deep gulps of tangy sea air.  She needed a clear head to devise a story Julian would believe.  Because she’d be damned if she would ever admit to Lord Julian Westland that Alexander was his son.  The bastard didn’t deserve the honor.

CHAPTER 4

“You look real pretty, Mama.”

As Alex spoke, Julian glanced up.  And felt as though he’d been punched in the stomach.  Amelia stood several feet away, clothed in one of his sister’s many cast-off dresses she’d made him promise to give to the needy, which he had completely forgotten to do.  Why Megan insisted he be part of her charitable endeavors, he would never know.  He was very glad he had agreed to take the dresses, though, and even happier he hadn’t yet given them away.  Yet, seeing Amelia’s curves outlined perfectly in the sky-blue silk proved rather distracting.  He could not stop his mind from forming images.  Dangerous images.  He pictured his sun-brown hands slowly peeling away the material, revealing milky white skin…

Julian turned away and swallowed.  Hard.  Dammit-all-to-hell, he would stop this madness at once!  His stumbled to the wooden rail and drew in a slow, deep breath. He would not desire this woman, he vowed inwardly, and he would prove it right now.  After his heart calmed a bit, he turned back to Amelia.

She frowned up at him.  Excellent.

He walked up to her side wearing a broad smile.  “Good morning, madam.  I trust you slept well?”

“My trunk is missing.”  She grabbed a fist full of fine silk.  “This was all I could find to wear.  Where are my clothes?” she demanded.

The breeze pulled at her hair, releasing a curl from the tight knot she’d fashioned at the back of her head.  It grazed her cheek and settled at the creamy swell rising up out of the dress’ bodice.  Perhaps he should have chosen one of the day dresses, with the long sleeves and high necklines, instead of one of the more revealing evening dresses.  His ravishing gaze had other thoughts.  Oh, how he itched to touch the delectable skin…

Remember the vow.

“My clothes, my lord?  What have you done with them?”

“Mr. Oliver is repairing the trunk handle, Mama, and the commander said you wouldn’t mind wearing one of his sister’s old dresses.  He said it was all right to accept a gift from a friend.  It is all right, isn’t it?” Alex asked with a thread of worry in his voice.

Amelia turned and her face softened.  She shook her head.  “I cannot possibly accept such an expensive gift, Alexander.”

Julian crossed his arms.  “It is my sister’s wish,” he began, gaining the stubborn woman’s attention, “these clothes go to someone who needs them.  She would be very upset at me if I did not offer them to you, Mrs. Wesson.” 

Instead of voicing another objection, she merely narrowed her eyes at him.  His reasoning was sound, and it was the truth.  He knew she knew it, too.  Julian couldn’t help it.  Sensing victory at hand, he smiled down at the imp.

“You do need better clothes for your new job, Mama.  Wouldn’t you agree?”

Julian’s smile fled.  Yet he couldn’t understand why that statement affected him in such a negative way.  Why should he be disturbed with the thought of Amelia being someone’s governess?

“You are absolutely right, son.” Amelia turned and squared her shoulders.  “My lord, if you will present me with a bill for the dress, I shall reimburse you the moment I—”

“That won’t be necessary.” He struggled to keep the anger from his voice.  By God, did the woman have to fight him at every turn?

She lifted her chin, her cerulean eyes snapping with pride.  “I assure you, my lord, it most certainly is necessary.  And I will add the proper rate of interest as well.”

He was about to remind the stubborn woman that his sister would not wish to be paid for the clothes but were a charitable gift when Alexander’s laughter captured his attention.  He turned.  For the ten-thousandth time, his heart flipped over at the sight of the boy.  Alex could not be another man’s son.  The resemblance and other evidence suggested it.  The date of the boy’s birth really proved it beyond all doubt.

He had sired Alex.

But why in the bloody hell wouldn’t Amelia admit it to him?

Julian glanced over his shoulder and found her watching him, her body tense, as if ready to turn and flee.  Her eyes were round and filled with fear, reminding him of another time she looked so frightened.  And instead of believing that she carried his child, he had called her a liar and sent her away.  Guilt seared his conscious, making his stomach clench.  That had to be the reason she refused to tell him anything.  He turned to the stretch of green-gray sea, not at all liking the regret tearing up his insides.  The guilt.  The shame.  The remorse.

But damn it, he’d had good reason to believe what he did.  Or he thought he’d had good reason.  Yet, Diana had been the liar.  And he should have known better than to listen to that vile upstart.  He should have listened to what Amelia had to say the day she’d come to see him.

That thought stirred another painful memory.  His best friend had believed a lie about him and not only broke off their friendship but became his enemy.  Julian hung his head.  If it hadn’t been for his sister falling in love with Nick, they would still be enemies to this day.  Fortunately, the truth had come out and their friendship restored.

Now, if Amelia would just cooperate and give him a chance to explain, a good resolution may result as well.

Julian swiveled back around.  “Amelia, I…” he halted when he found her gone.

“Mr. Black tells me you have a telescope that can see the planets, sir,” Alex said, his voice filled with excitement.  “How far can you see?”

Glancing down, Julian took note of the the boy’s flushed cheeks and the interest twinkling in his eyes.  He smiled, remembering his own excitement after purchasing the twenty-foot Herschelian telescope eight years ago.  “I can detect Uranus, although not as clearly as the other planets.”

Alexander’s eyes went round.  “That must be some telescope, sir.”

“Indeed.”

“I sure would like to see it.”  The boy’s shoulders drooped and his glance tumbled down to the tips of his scarred shoes.  “I-I mean, it must be a sight to see, sir.”

For some odd reason, the thought of Alex running through the halls of his estate pleased him.  Julian ruffled his hair.  “I would very much like for you to see my telescope.  I could even arrange for you to meet Sir William Herschel, The King’s Astronomer, and a very good friend of mine.”

Alex lifted his head.  “You would do that?  Truly?”

“Sure.  Why don’t you tell me where you will be staying so that I can send you an invitation?”  A fair, innocent enough question.

Alexander’s face fell.  “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know.  I only know Mama’s new employer is named Mr. Giles.”

Hiding his disappointment, Julian kept his smile in place.  He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to know the answer to that question until that very moment.  “That’s all right.  How about I give you directions to my estate, Sagemeadow, instead?”

A wistful glance slid over the boy’s features, then he looked down.

“What is it?”

“Well, sir, I don’t think I could visit you without Mama.”

Amelia.  Julian closed his eyes, picturing her in the center of the large southern garden, yellow pimpernel and purple dog violet blooms surrounding the little pixie as she sat on a blanket amongst them.  Her heart shaped face turned up to the sun, a smile spread over those lush, pink lips…

“Master?”

With reluctance, Julian pulled himself out of the vision.

“Did I say something wrong, sir?”

He shook his head.  “Not at all, Alex, I just remembered something I must do.”  He started to move away, then halted.  “Of course my invitation extends to your mother as well.  Both of you are welcome anytime at Sagemeadow.”

As Amelia discussed with Dr. Halston the disastrous effects of young ladies pouring belladonna into their eyes, a brisk knock sounded at the door.

When the doctor answered, she stifled a groan—and refused to feel a spark of pleasure—at the sight of Lord Julian’s large, extremely handsome form filling the threshold.

“Pardon the intrusion, I must needs a word with Mrs. Wesson.”

“By all means,” Dr. Halston said.  “I would like some fresh air, anyway, so my quarters are at your disposal.”

Dread settled into Amelia’s stomach as she watched the doctor leave, closing the door behind him and shutting her in the tiny room with Lord Julian, whose rather large form now blocked the exit—the only way out.  Without speaking, he just stood there with arms crossed and watched her with intense, gray eyes.

She knew a moment of panic.  And as the silence stretched out, grating on her nerves, she blurted out, “What is it you want, my lord?”

He stared at her for another fifteen seconds before making a reply.  “I have come to a decision.”

Amelia didn’t like the sound of that.  Not at all.  She cleared her throat and lifted her gaze from the triangle of golden skin at his throat to his eyes, glimmering with finality.  “A decision?”  Goodness, why did the room suddenly have no air?

Lord Julian pushed away from the door and started forward.

Unable to move or think, she remained in her chair, rooted to the wood, and watched him take the very seat beside her.  Her mouth went dry.  And for the life of her, she couldn’t look away from the man.

“Amelia,” he said softly, sending tiny prickles up and down her spine; “tell me what happened.”  He scooped up her hand between his warm, slightly rough palms, making her flinch from the contact.  “I must know.”

As her heart thudded wildly within her chest, that horrible memory surfaced.  Lord Julian’s face filled with anger, calling her a liar.  A cold chill swept through her as the recollection sharpened in her mind.  For those words rang clearly in her ears, even after all this time.

I know exactly why you’re here, Amelia, and what you hope to gain from me.  It won’t work, you bloody little liar.  Go find someone else to dupe because your devious scheme will not work on me.

Amelia yanked her hand away, anger and bitter resentment igniting within her.  “Go away, my lord. I have nothing to discuss with you.”

“But I have much to discuss with you, and I would like to begin by explaining why I sent you away.”

Those painful memories continued to crash over her, almost stealing the breath from her body.  She fisted her hands in her lap, praying she could suppress the tormenting images and emotions they stirred from deep within.  She had fought for so many years to try and forget what had happened, and in seconds, Lord Julian managed to destroy all of that effort.  “There is nothing you can say, my lord,” she began in a low, strained voice, “that could possibly justify your actions.”

His brows shot up.  “Even if I had been told two days prior you would come and speak lies about carrying my child?”

She searched his features for signs of deception, but found only an earnest insistence in his level gaze.  Who would have told him something like that?  Her fingernails bit into her palms.  It didn’t matter who told him such a horrific tale.  “You should not have believed I would ever lie to you about something so important.”  She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so angry.  It didn’t matter what he had been told. Julian should have known better.  He should have known her, and at the very least, he should have let her say what she had come to tell him and then determine if she were being honest.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair as haggard lines bracketed his mouth.  “You are right, Amelia.  I should not have believed such a thing.”  He glanced away, then back.  “That is why I have decided to help you.”

Oh, now he wanted to help her.  Well, it was too late for that.  “I do not want—nor do I need—any assistance from you,” she said with gritted teeth, wishing her body would stop shaking so badly.  She never thought to see this man again, and she certainly never thought he would seek an explanation from her now after all these years.  But even more disturbing was how Julian could still make her heart quiver and her body tingle.  Just as he could ten years ago.  And she couldn’t think clearly around him.  That hadn’t changed, either. 

His eyes narrowed to slits.  “Oh, I beg to differ, madam.  You will accept my assistance.  I have given the matter considerable thought and have decided to purchase you and Alexander a home very near my estate.  I shall also provide you with a monthly stipend for whatever amount you—”

“No!”  Amelia shot to her feet.  Julian would not be a part of their lives.  Not now, not ever.  “I will not accept!”

He uncoiled from his chair and rose, towering over her, and looking very, very angry.  “I am trying to set things right, Amelia.”

Tears glazed her eyes and stung her throat.  How she desperately needed to hear those words ten years ago.  Now, it was simply too late.  She shook her head.  “My answer is still no.”

“You are the most exasperating woman…”

In the blink of an eye, she found herself engulfed in Lord Julian’s embrace, his lips devouring hers.  Stunned, she couldn’t move.  The agonizingly familiar mixture of sandalwood and his male essence made her dizzy.  Her eyes slid shut as the world spun out of control.  His lips softened to a persuading rhythm.  Teasing, coaxing a response out of her.  She couldn’t concentrate on anything but the feel of his warm body pressed against hers and she tingled all over.  His tongue swiped her bottom lip.  Lightning exploded in her middle.  Amelia gasped and he filled her mouth.  As pleasure poured through her and she found herself wanting to return his kiss, her senses came back.  Just in time.