Lorie's Heart (21 page)

“Calhoun,” he supplied.

She stared at him as if the sound of his name was offensive. But she didn't say anything. She merely closed the door behind them leaving Lorie and Zach alone with the three women in the room.

To Lorie their relationship seemed obvious—grandmother, mother, and daughter.

“Oh, my.” The eldest woman stood. Her skin turned ghostly pale. “Oh, my dear,” she whispered, vaguely reminding Lorie of Betty. “I had given up hope of ever seeing you again.” She clasped one of Lorie's hands and pulled her farther into the room.

“Who are you?” Lorie asked, keeping a hold of Zach as she followed the woman. She had been intent on trying to keep as composed as possible without completely losing her mind. She supposed Zach's touch, his hand on hers calmed her nerves enough that she could speak in complete sentences.

“I'm your grandmother. Ellie Prescott.”

“You're my grandmother,” Lorie repeated in awe. She had never thought this day would come, never even dreamt it a possibility until a few short weeks ago.

Tears rose in the older woman's eyes. “Yes. And this is Gina, your aunt, and Taylor, your cousin.” The two other women remained seated.

She had an aunt and a cousin. Maybe more. An uncle. More cousins. “It's so good to meet you.” Lorie said the words though the air in the room was brittle. The two younger women seemed hostile toward her, but she had done nothing to them. Maybe she was mistaken. “Are you my mother's sister?” she asked Gina.

“I'm her brother's wife.” Her red lips smiled, but the action didn't reach her hard green eyes.

“I have an uncle?” she asked.

“Had,” Gina corrected. “He died in a boating accident a couple of years back.”

“I'm sorry,” Lorie murmured, confused by Gina's callous attitude and cold words.

“Come. Sit,” Ellie said, making way for the two of them on the small couch opposite where Gina and Taylor lounged like they hadn't a care in the world. Even then, a tension hung about them that belied their dismissive demeanor.

“What about the other family members?” Lorie asked. She had come all this way. She wanted to meet everyone she could.

“My husband, your grandfather, died last year. Heart attack. God rest his soul.” She made some sign over the front of her chest that to Lorie looked almost like a cross. “It's just Gina, Taylor, and me these days.”

“How interesting that you came here now,” Gina said, looking from Lorie to Ellie and back again.

Ellie smiled, but to Lorie the action looked forced. “We're not going into that right now.”

Gina shrugged.

“Tell us, dear, where you've been all these years.” Ellie squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly. This one lit up her entire face.

Lorie started slowly, but managed to tell the story of her father, his death, and what she had been doing for the last twenty years.

Ellie shook her head. “I've made so many mistakes over the years, but none so big as threatening to take you from your father. I want you to know that my intentions were pure. I only wanted to give you everything you deserved.”

Gina snorted. At least Lorie thought she did. When she turned her attention to the other woman, Gina looked off into the distance as if staring out a faraway window.

“I've had a good life,” Lorie said, focusing once again on her grandmother.

“Tell me,” Gina said, leaning forward as if preparing to listen to a riveting tale. “How long did it take you after the news release before you decided to come here?”

“Gina. We are not going to do this today.” Ellie pressed her lips together as if she wanted to say more, but needed to temper the words.

“When would be a good time then?” Her voice dripped with a poison Lorie could not name. “You have two months to live. Three, if you're lucky. And then here comes Princess Belinda's only child to claim her part of the Prescott fortune. How convenient for you.” She turned her venom on Lorie.

Zach stood and pulled Lorie to her feet. “I think we should go.”

“Please don't.” Ellie was standing in a heartbeat.

Lorie bit her lip, unsure of what to do. The woman, her grandmother, was dying. Lorie wanted to console her, spend all the time she could with her, and then what? In the end, she would be heartbroken having lost another person so dear to her. She didn't think she could bear it.

“He's right,” Lorie said. “I never meant to upset your family.”

“A little while longer,” Ellie pleaded. “Just the three of us.”

Gina scoffed, but it seemed she knew when she had pushed beyond the boundaries and didn't say any more.

Lorie looked to Zach.

“It's up to you,” he said.

“Okay.” Lorie gave a quick nod.

Ellie slumped with relief. “Let's go out on the north veranda. It's nice out there this time of day.”

Lorie didn't look back even once as Ellie led her and Zach down a wide hall and into an open space in the house. She thought the
Englisch
called it an atrium, but she wasn't sure. One thing was certain, she had never seen anything like it before.

“Right this way.” She pointed toward the floor to second-story ceiling windows. Lorie realized that one of them was a door. Outside a table waited with cushioned chairs and a large brown-and-white umbrella overhead.

She sat down opposite Zach. At the door she heard Ellie say, “Can you bring some refreshments to the north veranda, Helga? We need enough for three. My granddaughter, her boyfriend, and myself.”

Boyfriend? Lorie looked to Zach, but he acted like nothing momentous had been said. Is that what they were? Boyfriend and girlfriend?

Ellie was smiling as she took her place at the table. “Helga will be here shortly with some refreshments. In the meantime, tell me everything you can remember.”

“Everything?” Lorie asked.

Ellie's smile grew wider. “Well, I don't have a long time left on this earth, so I can make do with whatever's on your mind today.”

Lorie started telling stories about her life with the Amish. How her father had taken her there to live. She told Ellie about the restaurant and church, her friends, and Esther's bakery down the street from Kauffman's.

“Miss Ellie, it's time for you to rest.”

Ellie stirred herself as Helga came onto the veranda. “Just a little longer,” she said.

But the large woman was insistent. “I've let you stay out here an hour past what I thought was healthy. Now it's time to rest.” She turned her attention to Lorie and Zach. “I'm sorry, but she really needs to rest.”

Zach stood as Lorie pushed herself to her feet. “We understand,” he said.

Ellie's face fell with disappointment, but she rose and together the three of them made their way toward the front door.

Lorie wasn't sure what to say. “I'll pray for you,” didn't seem like quite enough for someone who knew they were about to die. But she would pray for Ellie, that she found the peace she deserved.

“I wish I had come sooner,” she said. In the hard light of the foyer, she could see the dark circles under Ellie's eyes and the strain of worry on either side of her mouth. She hid it well, but the woman was ill.

“We all wish a lot of things, sweet Lorie, but I'll make it right.” She touched her fingers to Lorie's cheek and smiled. “I promise you. I'll make it right.”

Lorie hugged the fragile woman, then she and Zach made their way back to the car.

“What do you suppose she meant by that?” Lorie asked.

Zach shook his head. “I have no idea.”

 

 

The trip back to Tulsa was quiet. Zach knew that Lorie had a lot on her mind. He'd told her several times that if she needed him, he was there for her. He hoped now that she remembered. It was one thing to find a grandmother you had never known and quite another to discover that the long-lost relative was terminal.

“Did I do the right thing, Zach?”

“By going to Dallas?”

She nodded.

“I think so, yeah. I'm glad you got to spend a little time with Ellie. And I think she enjoyed the visit too.”

“I didn't make it worse?”

He took his eyes from the road for a brief second. “Definitely not. I'm just sorry that you two will never get the chance to know each other better.”

“Me too.” She laid her head against the window and fell silent once more.

“But you had today. And you still have Betty. Well, most of the time.”

She chuckled, the exact reaction he was hoping for.

“I lost my grandparents a long time ago.”

“You did? I mean, you're so great with the seniors. I guess I thought . . .”

“That I had grandparents lined up waiting on visits?”

Another chuckle. Good.

“I love the elderly,” he continued. “I always have.”

“They love you, too.”

“No more than you,” he said. “I've never seen them happier than when they were painting.”

She shrugged. “It was only because it was something new.”

“Maybe.” But he knew the truth.

They rode in silence for a bit, then Lorie turned to him once again. “What now?”

“What do you want?”

“Me?”

He had a feeling she had never been asked that before. “You have to decide what's next. But I figure finding a job. Working on a place to live. I can work something out with Ashtyn, but she can be a little covetous of her time alone. So don't take it personally.”

“I won't.”

“If you're staying, that is.” Okay, so he was out and out fishing for answers. He wasn't trying to push her either way, but the more time he spent with her, the more time he wanted to spend with her. If she entertained any thoughts about staying, she needed to make some plans.

“Find a job,” she repeated.

“Sure. You have restaurant experience. You could make decent money as a waitress.”

She nodded. “What about a place to stay?”

He didn't want to go into the complexities of credit apps and security deposits. “Why don't you plan on staying put for now, and we can figure that out after you find yourself a job.”

“If you're sure,” she said.

“I'm sure. You just leave Ashtyn to me.”

Finding a job in the
Englisch
world was not nearly as easy as it sounded. It might have been if she had been looking for work in or around Wells Landing. But the managers and owners of all the various stores and restaurants didn't understand why she had only attended school until the eighth grade, why she had no Social Security card, and why reliable transportation to work might be more difficult than it sounded.

In the end, she managed to find work as a short order cook at a small diner within walking distance of Ashtyn's house. She took the rest of the money she had saved and bought a couple pairs of jeans from the secondhand store along with some T-shirts and a pair of pink pajamas with a cartoon kitten scattered all over them. If nothing else, the sleepwear made her smile at the end of a hard and confusing day.

The worst part was not seeing Zach. He came over when his schedule allowed. But since he had joined the National Guard in order to help pay for his school, he had to go “play war,” as he said, for two weeks, leaving her to fend for herself.

“I'm sorry. I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to.”

“I know.”

They were sitting on the back porch at his sister's house, watching as the sun set over the tops of the neighbor's trees.

“Ashtyn and Mom will help you with anything you need.”

She nodded, but Zach's family were the last people she wanted to accept more help from. They seemed to like her well enough, but Lorie had the feeling that their acceptance of her had more to do with their love of Zach rather than any warm feelings they might have toward her.

“It's only for two weeks,” he said. “Then I'll be back.”

She nodded.

It was probably for the best, she told herself. Things between them were more confusing than the Tulsa Transit bus schedule.

He had only kissed her that one time, though she relived it every night. Yet he still continued to hold her at arm's length. Everything she had been told about
Englisch
boys didn't apply to Zach. He was caring and polite and seemed to respect her conservative upbringing. Well, either that or she was a really bad kisser.

That was it. Or maybe he just didn't like her the way she liked him. He was smarter in the ways of the world. He knew more about men and women. Had probably kissed a dozen girls. She would never be able to compete with that. The thought of having to contend for his attention made her want to hide under the covers.

It was the hardest two weeks of her life. She had thought the Amish way of life was hard. Walking to work every day in the summer heat, even without the mourning black, had her guzzling water to and from work. But she got no reprieve behind the grill. The restaurant was small and confined, the heat from the kitchen seeping into her pores. As much as she loved the feel of her hair against her back, she had to wear it up, off her neck, to help keep cool. She didn't remember working at Kauffman's being this difficult. Or maybe it was being surrounded by people who loved her and who she loved in return that made any tough situations more bearable.

That didn't even take into account her pay. Even working forty hours a week, minimum wage was barely enough to cover her living expenses. And she was still staying with Ashtyn.

Ashtyn's son had come home from his dad's. A cuter five-year-old Lorie had never seen. He had dark hair like his mother's but tawny brown eyes that must have been a legacy from his father. Owen Williams was sweet and fun, but of course he wanted his dinosaur room back. Lorie could understand that, and sleeping on the couch wasn't much different than sleeping in his narrow bed, but at least inside the room she had a little privacy. In the room she didn't feel like such a charity case.

She mopped her forehead and trudged down the street on what was the hottest day on record for the year. That was all everyone entering the diner had talked about all day. What it meant for the crops and livestock. She would have thought city dwellers would have a different conversation topic than the folks in Wells Landing, but it seemed that what affected the farmers and ranchers affected them all.

A car pulled up behind her and slowed. She didn't turn around. Didn't need to in order to know who was behind her. The same three guys had been harassing her for days. Who knew why they were out every day just waiting for her to leave work. Or how they knew she was vulnerable to the
Englisch
world. Somehow they just did. Giving her a hard time gave them some kind of weird pleasure she would never understand. But today she wasn't in the mood.

She kept walking as they pulled up even with her.

“Hey, gorgeous. Wanna ride?”

She whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice. “Zach?”

He was sitting behind the wheel of his little gray-colored car looking like one of the soldiers she had seen on TV.

His grin was broad and catching. Despite the heat and the fact that she was bone weary, despite the hardships of the past two weeks, she smiled in return.

“Come on. Get in.”

She slid into the passenger's seat, sinking into the cool interior with a small sigh of pleasure.

He pulled the car back onto the street. “How 'bout we catch a movie?”

“Right now?” She was so tired all she wanted to do was sink into a warm bath—after she cooled off, that was—then get into her cutie pajamas and pretend her life had come out just the way she had always dreamed.

But her plans to marry Jonah and live out her days working at the restaurant in Wells Landing seemed as far away as the moon.

“No, tonight.”

“Okay, sure.” She loved the idea of going to the movie with him, just the two of them, alone in the dark. The thought was thrilling. Oh, how she missed him these past two weeks.

Weariness forgotten, she hopped out of the car when they got to Ashtyn's. “Are you coming in?”

He plucked at his uniform jacket. “I need a shower. Pick you up at six thirty?”

“Perfect.” She smiled and waved him away, then ran into the house to shower and change.

Zach was nothing if not punctual. He arrived at six thirty on the dot. “Are y'all ready to go?”

“Y'all?” she asked.

“Here he is.” Ashtyn herded Owen from his bedroom. He was decked out in some sort of costume. Lorie thought the
Englisch
called them superheroes. Though she wasn't sure what was so heroic about being bitten by a spider. Everyone she knew had been bitten once or twice.

“Owen is going with us?” She hoped her voice didn't sound too disappointed. She loved the little boy, but she was looking forward to spending time alone with Zach.

“Tonight's the premiere of the latest Spider-Man movie. The little man and I have a standing date for them. Right, buddy?”

Owen grinned, showing his missing front teeth. He'd lost a tooth while Zach had been gone.

His uncle made all the proper exclamations of joy over the recent loss and Lorie's annoyance melted away. Zach was a good uncle. He loved Owen as he would one of his own. Poor Owen didn't have a dad around all the time, and Zach seemed to have made it his mission to make sure that Owen missed out on nothing because of it.

While Zach examined the gold dollar the tooth fairy had left in place of the tooth, Lorie's thoughts filled up with Daniel. She missed her brother so. She missed them all. She had told herself that it was better to cut ties completely. She couldn't go back and forth and try to visit. It would be too confusing for Daniel. But suddenly she wanted to see him so bad she could taste it. She needed to go back, even if for only one last time to see her brother and sisters. She needed to explain to them what had happened. But she knew Maddie would never allow that. Only one of her children didn't share a blood relationship with Betty Mathis and that was Sadie. But to the rest of the children, Betty was their paternal grandmother.

“Lorie? Are you ready to go?”

She shook herself out of her thoughts, realizing that Zach must have been trying to get her attention for a while. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I'm ready.” She grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

“Are you avoiding me?” Sunday afternoon after hamburgers and baked beans at his mother's house Lorie finally got up enough courage to ask Zach directly.

She had worked the day before at the diner, but Zach had promised them a fun evening.

His eyes widened in surprise. “No. Of course not,” he scoffed. “Yes.”

“The answer can't be both.”

“Then yes,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I'm avoiding you. Well, not you, but yes.”

“Zach, would you please make sense?” His doublespeak was making her head hurt. Why was the
Englisch
world so confusing?

He took her by the hand and led her out to the gazebo his mother had built in the yard. It was a pretty structure, painted white with vines growing all around it. It looked wonderful and romantic like something out of an
Englisch
fairy tale. Despite the beauty of the surroundings, Lorie had the feeling that she wasn't going to like the topic of the conversation. But she had asked and now she had to see it through.

He sat her down on the built-in bench on one side of the gazebo while he sat on the other. He wasn't more than three feet from her, but she felt like it was a chasm.

“I want you to know that I care about you very much.”

Her heart sank to her toes. Every breakup between her and Jonah had begun in a similar way. Not that she and Zach had a relationship. At least he had never said anything of the kind.

And you're the idiot who went and fell in love with him
.

“But you don't love me.”

He braced his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers into his hair. “I don't know. Life is just really confusing right now. For both of us.”

She nodded.

He sat back. “I think maybe we should take this a bit slower. That's all. It's not you—”

“It's me,” she finished for him. She had heard the line in one of the romance movies that Ashtyn liked to watch. Though she never thought she would hear those words for herself.

“Okay, that was trite. But I don't want you to think that you're not a fabulous person. You are.”

Suddenly, she understood. That was why he didn't call their trip to the movies a date. And why he brought Owen along. The pair might always go see the superhero movies on opening weekend, but she had a feeling it had more to do with her and less to do with Spider-Man.

“I . . . well . . .” She wasn't used to talking about such matters, and the words wouldn't come. Certainly not the words she wanted to say. He was the reason that held her here. His bright eyes and charming smile. But if there was no future in them . . . No, that was thinking like an Amish girl. What would an
Englisch
girl say? She was an
Englisch
girl now. Or was she just ex-Amish? Never to completely fit in with either world. “Whatever,” she finally managed.

He muttered something under his breath, then he blew out a frustrated sigh. “I've hurt you. I never meant to hurt you.”

“It's fine,” she said, though her heart was breaking. “It's not like I'm falling in love with you or anything.”

“That's not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I just think we should take a break.”

“From each other?”

He shook his head. “I'm trying to find a job, and you're supposed to be learning how to drive. We've got work and the seniors. There just seems to be so much going on right now. I don't want you to get overwhelmed.”

“You're overwhelmed.”

“Yeah, maybe. Yeah.”

She jumped to her feet. “Would you stop answering my every question with multiple answers? How am I supposed to know which one to believe?”

He was on his feet in an instant beside her. “This is exactly what I'm talking about. We're both stretched so thin right now, neither one of us has any more energy to give a relationship.”

“Whatever,” she said again. It was one word that could successfully hide her broken heart. She started out of the gazebo, but he caught her arm before she could make her escape.

“Lorie, I—”

“It's okay, Zach. I understand. I may be Amish, but I'm not a child.” She pulled away from him and stalked toward the house.

 

 

She didn't hear from Zach at all on Monday. As if living with his sister wasn't awkward enough, now he was truly avoiding her. There was no denying it. She had only seen him twice in two weeks. Normally, he would come to his sister's for supper or pick up Lorie and take her to his mom's for the evening meal. But this night he didn't even call.