Lorraine Heath (28 page)

“When you know how I can get in touch with you, Mrs. Burnett, you just send me a letter. As soon as everything is final, I’ll let you know,” Doyle said. Then he took the money Jake offered him and shook the man’s hand.

After they walked out of the office, Jake retrieved Rebecca’s bag from the wagon. As they crossed the street to the hotel, Rebecca was holding Jacob so tightly that he wailed a protest, forcing her to loosen her grip on him. In the lobby, Jake set the bag down at her feet.

“Wait here. I’ll go find out which room he’s in.”

She watched Jake remove his hat as he approached the front desk. Then he turned and walked back to her, his Adam’s apple visibly moving up and down.

“He’s in a room at the top of those stairs.” He nodded towards the stairs behind her. “End of the hall, last door on the right.”

Rebecca glanced over her shoulder and then her gaze came back to Jake.

“Well, so long, little fella,” he said as his hand rested on Jacob’s head. The child smiled at him. Jake didn’t think he’d be able to leave. He forced his eyes away from the child, bringing them to rest on Rebecca.

Taking a deep breath he said, “I want to thank you for being such a fine wife. I was right proud to have you by my side, and I know Brett will be, too. If you or your family ever need anything, you just let me know. Take care of yourself, Reb.”

The words had tumbled out, one after another, the last said in a thick voice. Rebecca felt his lips brush her cheek and then watched as he turned and walked quickly out of the hotel, out of her life. He hadn’t given her a chance to say good-bye, and she had so much she wanted to tell him. She wanted to run after him and hold him and tell him she was sorry until the world ended.

Instead, she picked up her bag and walked to the stairs. Her burdens suddenly seemed heavier, and she didn’t think she’d be able to climb up the stairs. The man she loved was up there waiting for her. The man who had fathered her child, who had made love to her on a moonless night, spoken words of love and then searched the country until he found her. She blinked back the tears and went up the stairs wondering why it was so damn hard to go to him.

She tapped lightly on the door at the far end of the hall, hearing a curse thrown out before the door was flung open. Then he was standing before her, shirtless, barefoot, his hair tousled. He pulled her into the room, enfolding her in his embrace.

“Damn, woman, but I had almost given up on you.”

He released her and stalked across the room, his hand coming down hard on a lump in the center of the bed. The covers were thrown back, and a blond woman with fiery green eyes glared at him.

“What the hell was that for?” the blond woman asked in a throaty voice.

“It’s time for you to leave, Luce.”

Without preamble she got out of the bed. Rebecca turned her eyes away from the naked woman as she got dressed. When the woman had flounced out, Rebecca turned to Brett.

“You had a woman in here?”

He took Jacob from her and set the boy down on the floor before he put his arms around her, looking down into her blue eyes. “I was lonely, and I didn’t know if you’d come. You didn’t expect me to remain celibate while I waited, did you?”

Actually, she supposed she had, but she didn’t say anything as his mouth came down on hers, burning. He lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. “But now that you’re here, you’re the only woman I’ll ever need.”

His lips were searing her flesh, and she moaned as his mouth traveled down her neck and then drew her breast in for a taste. Her breath caught, her eyes flew open, and she stared down at him. When had he unbuttoned her dress? Her hands went to his shoulders and she pushed him away.

“I’m still married. It’ll be two months before the divorce is final. And until then I intend to honor the vows I made with Jake.”

Blue eyes bored into blue eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I’ll go to Montana with you, I’ll live with you, I’ll hold you, I’ll kiss you, but I won’t make love to you. I’ve hurt Jake enough, and until the divorce is final I don’t intend to do anything that might cause him further pain.”

Brett came up off the bed, running his hands through his hair. He turned, facing her. “Two months? Do you have any idea how bad I want you? I want you so bad I ache.”

“And how much do you love me, Brett?”

He released a great gust of air. “Enough to take you with me and not touch you. But damn, it’s going to be hard, woman. I hope you realize that.”

She watched as he sullenly packed up his things, this man she had first loved, the man who had first made love to her. Tall, dark, with facial features that were the envy
of men and the joy of women. He was the man she had wanted to marry a year ago. She picked her son up and began preparing him for their journey. They were a family, mother, father, son, joined by blood and flesh. Why wasn’t her heart singing with joy?

Night had fallen by the time Jake pulled the wagon into the barn. Frank stepped out of the empty stall where he had been sitting, awaiting Jake’s return.

“I was hoping she might change her mind,” Frank said.

Jake turned to him and shook his head. “No. I knew she wouldn’t.”

“You shouldn’t have let her go,” Frank blurted out, his frustration with the situation having eaten at him all day.

Jake sighed, wishing he could make Frank understand. “I grew up being someplace I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t ask Reb to grow old doing the same thing.” He began to move up to the lead horse.

“Here, I’ll unhitch ‘em for you. You’ve had a long day.”

“Thanks,” Jake said, before heading out of the barn. He hesitated by the tub of water. Old habits were hard to break, but he continued on without washing up. He didn’t take his boots off outside the door either. There was no one for his noisy feet to wake up. He closed the door behind him and dropped the bar across it. Then he walked to the table, placed his hands under it and shoved it, sending it crashing to the hard wooden floor. Its vibrations echoed throughout the house, drowning out his low wail of agony.

He pressed his back up against a far wall and slid down to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself, laying his head on his uplifted knees. Never in his entire life had he felt such intense physical pain. He thought for sure his heart was dying. He released an anguished cry, then a desperate sob as all the tears he’d been holding in since Brett’s arrival gushed forth.

“Damn ugly bastard! What the hell ever made you think she could love you!”

The pain of lost love increased until it consumed him. He wished he’d never made love to her, never told her he
loved her, never kissed her, never brought her to Texas, never asked her to marry him. He dropped his head back and it banged against the wall, jolting him to his senses. He released a ragged breath. No, he thought, it would have been worse to have died without ever knowing. For a short time, he had held in his arms the woman he loved. Some men never even had that.

Wearily, he brought himself to his feet and walked to the bed, dropping down on top of the covers. He brought her pillow out from beneath the quilt and buried his face in it, inhaling deeply, wondering if she’d meant to leave the scent of roses behind.

Montana Territory, 1884

S
TEPPING
OUT
OF
the adjoining nursery into the final room on the ostentatious tour, Rebecca released a low whistle. The room alone was as large as the house she had shared with Jake.

The main house at the Pair of Aces ranch was finer than the house she had shared with her father. One room led to another; a living room, a kitchen, a dining room, a study, a nursery, and the bedroom she was now standing in were on the first floor. Wide sweeping stairs led up to the second floor and six other bedrooms, every room furnished in detail.

“Impressed?” Brett asked as he slipped his arms around her.

She tilted her head back to gaze into his blue eyes. “I can’t help but be impressed. I never expected anything like this. How in the world did you afford it?”

He released a boisterous laugh, pride and humor competing for the right to grace his handsome face. “It cost me a pair of aces.”

Rebecca’s eyes widened. “A pair of aces? You mean you won it in a poker game?”

“Lock, stock, and barrel. The only thing I’ve changed is the name of the ranch. Seemed the appropriate thing to do.”

“All this belonged to someone else?” “Every bit of it.”

“Some of these things must be heirlooms. You didn’t let the owners take anything with them?”

“If the man didn’t want to lose it, he shouldn’t have put it on the table. He was bluffing. I called his bluff.”

“This place has a definite woman’s touch to it. You didn’t even let the wife take anything?”

“Woman was stupid enough to marry him, she has to live with it, not me.”

Rebecca supposed this acquisition of property was no different than Jake being given his land, but somehow it seemed different. It seemed very different.

Brett’s fingers trailed up and down either side of her spine. “This will be our room when we’re married. You can sleep here until then. I’ll sleep in a room upstairs.” He brought his lips down to hers. “Unless you’d rather I sleep here with you.”

His mouth covered hers, his tongue seeking entrance, knowing it only had to seek to find, his hands pressing her body closer to his. She could feel his hardened frame against her body. He ran his hand down to press her hips against his, moving her pelvis back and forth against him.

She felt his heat through their clothes, her hips beginning to move on their own, her body straining against him. His mouth seared her neck, traveling slowly, leaving love bites in its wake.

“You make me feel like a piece of kindling, just flaring up,” she said in a husky voice as her head dropped back.

“Burnett never made you feel like this, did he?”

“No,” she sighed in remembrance. Brett’s fire flared up and was quickly doused. It did not leave her with smoldering embers that even now, late at night when she woke up alone, could warm her with a thought. “Jake is more like a slow, roaring fire.”

Roughly releasing her, Brett stomped away from the bed where he had tossed her. Rebecca looked up at him from her sprawled position. His face was hard, his blue eyes taking on a deeper hue.

“Do you have any idea how often you talk about that man?” he bellowed.

“You brought him up, not me!” Rebecca shouted as she heaved herself off the bed.

Pacing, Brett plowed his hands through his hair, not the first time he had done so since they’d left Pleasure. “I’m tired of hearing about him! Everything he did, everything he said, everything he thought!”

“I don’t talk about him!”

“God, Rebecca. You talk about him all the time. On the train, every town we passed, there was something in it that reminded you of him. If you didn’t mention it to me, you mentioned it to my son as though he could understand what the hell you were rambling about.”

“Jake was an important part of my life for over a year.” Longer than that if she considered the time before they were married, the times when they’d share confidences in low voices so as not to disturb the herd. “I can’t just pretend he never existed. He’s like a habit.”

“Well, break it! And while you’re at it, take the damn ring off.”

“No! Not until my divorce papers get here.” “Why?”

“To remind me that I’m married, that I owe something to Jake until the divorce is final.”

“Dammit!” He ran his fingers roughly through his hair again, his eyes boring into hers. “Jake is in Texas. I’m here. I’m the man you love; I’m the man you’re going to marry.”

Rebecca dropped down on the bed, willing the tears not to come. She couldn’t recall ever mentioning Brett to Jake except when he’d proposed. She’d missed Brett when he had left, but his absence hadn’t filled her with an emptiness that grew with each passing day. “I’m sorry. I … I didn’t mean to bring him with us. Give me a couple of days to adjust to this big old place of yours, and I’ll send him back to Texas.”

Brett knelt down before her, taking her hands in his own, his voice smooth as silk. “It’s going to be good here. You’ll see. We’ll have everything we ever dreamed of, everything we talked about.”

She couldn’t cite their dreams, but she didn’t think now was the right time to mention that. She could recall vividly all of Jake’s dreams, everything they had planned together, everything they had wanted. She gave Brett a small smile.

“Do you think the cook or the housekeeper could take care of Jacob for a few hours each day so I can ride the range?”

Brett stood up, once again furrowing deep tunnels through his hair. “I beg your pardon? You want the servants to care for my son so you can play cowhand?”

“I enjoy herding cattle.”

Brett shook his head. “Look at this house.” He waved his arm in a circle. “Look at this ranch. Look at me, for Christ’s sake. This isn’t some two-bit operation in Texas. I’m not going to have my wife parading around in a pair of men’s britches looking like a cowhand. Jake may have needed you riding the range, but I don’t. I can afford to hire enough men to do the work. Hell, woman! I only go out once or twice a week myself.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? You have someone to clean, someone to cook.”

“Be my wife. Dress like the wife of a wealthy rancher, meet with society ladies.” He touched her cheek. “Please me.”

Rebecca closed her eyes. “I don’t want to be an ornament.”

“You won’t be. You have this home to manage and my son to raise. I’ll handle the ranch.”

She studied the face of the phantom that had haunted her since that moonless night so long ago. He was still a phantom.

Jake felt his breath leave his body as he pulled his horse up short beside the bedding hanging on the line. He jumped off his horse and took hold of a handful of quilt. Then he ran into the house, past Maura.

“Did you wash the bedding?” he asked as he moved behind the quilt and beheld the stripped bed. He dropped down on it bringing a pillow to his face, inhaling deeply.
It was all he had left of her, her scent mingled in the bedding. In bed, when he slept, she was still with him, comforting, warm.