Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight (23 page)

That's another reason I hope you'll find this program easier and more efficient than previous weight loss plans or housecleaning endeavors you've tried. You're rarely
only
addressing your body, your home, or your attitudes. You're usually working on two or three at any given time.

SIMPLE MENTAL EXERCISES

Changing your outlook is a crucial component of the program. I'll provide a new mental exercise each week that will help you adjust your mindset related to your diet, your home, or your fitness. Doing these mental exercises regularly can help ensure that:

The program will feel less difficult.
Often when you're trying to improve
your habits, the part of your mind that wants positive change is battling the part that wants things to stay just the way they are.

You may have found weight loss so difficult in the past because you hadn't discovered the core thoughts and behaviors that were leading you to eat too much. Similarly, housekeeping may seem like an endless struggle because you're cleaning on one day but allowing clutter to regather on the next 6 days. The cycle continues over and over.

With these mental exercises, you'll go deep into your mind (like an IT person analyzing a computer), then reprogram your software to make your weight control and home maintenance easier and more consistent. You'll be able to identify the thoughts and behaviors that hold you back, and once you finally bring them out into the open, you can change them.

You'll enjoy lasting improvements.
The absolute last thing I want you to do is rid your home of clutter and your body of excess fat over 6 weeks, only to watch all your improvements disappear as soon as the program is over. I didn't write this book in the hopes that you would have another “failure” to kick yourself over. I wrote it so you can start an entirely new phase of your life that's more streamlined, orderly, and rewarding.

To reap those benefits, however, you have to do more than just “do.” You can't just sweep all the unnecessary possessions out of your home and expect it to stay uncluttered. You can't just eat differently and move around more for a few weeks and expect permanent improvement.

You also have to
rethink.
You have to develop new ways of thinking about food. You have to identify the meaning that you attach to objects on the shelves at the department store. You have to learn how to not take every action that your mind begs you to do or follow its every command. I want this program to be the start of a much bigger process in your life. To do so, your mind will need to work for you, not vice versa.

AVOIDING PITFALLS

Some of the challenges you'll face during this program are easily predictable. I've seen many people struggle with them, and they've talked to me about these obstacles using the exact same language.

But while I was working with the test panel, some of the participants reported problems that had a bigger effect on them than I was expecting. I'd like to prepare you for some of these particular challenges and equip you with preventive strategies that will minimize their impact.

Pitfall #1:
NOT SEEING ENOUGH IMPROVEMENT

As I mentioned, each week you'll declutter a specific area of your home. If you live in an apartment or a house that's not very cluttered, you can probably do a thorough job on each part of your home within a week.

But I'm guessing you have a high hurdle to get over, or you wouldn't have bought this book. Our test panelists were like you—they had a
lot
of work to do on their homes, which is why they volunteered for the program. As they progressed through the 6 weeks, several of them started telling me that they were falling behind.

They had set their expectations very high and were struggling with rising feelings of discouragement and disappointment. They had anticipated that the program would feel like a great accomplishment, but they were starting to feel like they'd failed themselves.

I don't want this to happen to you. Many people who invited me into their homes over the years told me that their cluttered homes represent just another example of how they failed. As they looked around their homes, they remembered how they quit taking piano lessons as a kid or lost too many jobs. Now, yet again, they were falling short of how a reasonable, capable adult is expected to act.

I suspect that many people who are overweight also feel that their body size is a symbol of how they've failed. Many have a lot of negative, critical self-talk bouncing around in their minds. As you learned in the previous chapter, talking to yourself this way doesn't spur you to make positive changes. It just holds you back. So I'd like for you to follow three bits of advice to prevent these sorts of negative feelings.

Manage your expectations.
It is quite possible that your home won't be fully decluttered at the end of 6 weeks. That is very much okay. I simply want you to make a substantial improvement in your home. This is about progress, not perfection. Build on the skills you develop with each room, capitalize on your increased energy, and focus on your achievements—which will be significant—rather than dwelling on what remains to be done.

If you're not at your “dream” weight at the end either, that is perfectly fine, too. I hope you at least lose enough pounds—or that your clothes fit loosely enough—for you to see that you're capable of making progress.
No one
will reach the finish line at the end of 6 weeks and never have to clean their home or watch what they eat again.
Everyone
will have to shift into long-term main
tenance mode at some point. If it takes you longer than 6 weeks to get to this stage, that doesn't mean you failed. You're just going on your own timetable. As I often tell people, perfect is the enemy of good.

Keep going.
Some of the test panelists started running behind during the program, and they felt overwhelmed when they saw new decluttering tasks arriving before they'd finished all the old ones.

I don't want you to ever panic during this program. You may have to sort through difficult emotions while you're debating whether to part with some of your possessions. Painful memories may arise that you have to address. But I
don't
want the timetable of this program to be a source of stress!

At the end of each week, move on to the next area of your home, even if you're not completely finished with the space you're currently tackling. I want you to keep moving forward without feeling that your tasks are piling up to an unmanageable level. At the end of 6 weeks, or when you've completed a task more quickly than you'd expected, go back and take care of earlier tasks you may not have had time to complete.

Celebrate your successes.
If you found you didn't care for certain pieces of my advice, or you had trouble sticking with some of the activities in the program, don't kick yourself over it. It doesn't mean you're letting yourself down, disappointing me, or doing the program “wrong.”

I hope you follow the entire program as closely as you can, but I'm not expecting perfection. Some of the test panelists were quite open about telling me how they didn't do certain parts or that they adapted them for their own needs (for example, some did their own workouts instead of following the plan in the book).

Please don't dwell on any “failures.” Instead, if you came across particular home-cleaning techniques, exercise movements, or shifts in your mental outlook that you found meaningful and worked into your daily routine, I would rather you focus on those and strive to get the most value from them. At the end of 6 weeks, let the improvements you made stand out in your mind, not the opportunities that didn't quite reach their potential.

Avoid a “miracle” mentality.
When it comes to health and fitness, we are often presented with “miracle plans” and “wonder programs.” They promise quick, easy, and astounding results. I believe that such programs set you up for
failure and disappointment. Your clutter or excess weight didn't accumulate overnight, and it won't disappear overnight. Results will only come from your commitment and consistent effort over time. Small steps yield huge results—it's that simple and that tough.

Pitfall #2:
LACK OF TIME

I tried to design this program around a lot of multitasking and kill-two-birds-with-one-stone efficiency. But even though you're not having to count grams of fat and you're burning calories while you declutter, you are still taking on a lot of changes at once.

These tasks will take some time every day, especially later in the program when you're walking more and tackling more labor-intensive parts of your home, like the garage and basement. I suggest you plan on spending an average of an hour a day on your decluttering, exercises, and attitude-shifting activities. Some weeks may require even more.

Some of the test panelists reported that they simply didn't have time for all of this. Often, the first things they cut were the mindfulness activities (even though these take only a few minutes!).

The idea that you'd need time every day to exercise and unload years' or decades' worth of clutter from your home should not come as a big surprise. I think I was able to keep the program simple, but I couldn't break the laws of physics.

Even if you're busy with the usual demands of work, spouse, kids, parents, or chores, you will need to allocate at least one hour each day for this program. Here are some ways you might be able to find it.

Establish a new mindset.
Consider this program an investment in creating a better life. All investments require a little sacrifice today for a brighter tomorrow. This program requires you to invest little to no money. Instead, you merely have to devote some of your time. When your home is finally decluttered, it will be easier to keep clean. I predict that any hours you invest now will be returned to you later, with interest.

Schedule tasks just like you would any other appointment.
Set aside the time for this program as if it were an important event you need to attend. Get it on your daily calendar and show up on time for your next task!

Drop an activity.
Carve out an hour from the time you spend in front of the television or idling on the Internet. Convert that time that you're wasting
passively into active time dedicated to making real, lasting changes in your home and your life.

Start your day sooner.
Go to bed earlier and set your alarm an hour earlier in the morning to give yourself more time to complete these tasks. You may have fewer interruptions when you work on this program in the morning—and you can start your day feeling successful. Devoting ample time to this program is critical. If you don't, you're setting yourself up for failure before you even commence.

Pitfall #3:
RESISTANCE FROM FAMILY

If you share your home with a spouse or partner, you're not the only one who filled this space with clutter. You don't have the final say over getting rid of everything, either. And it's quite possible that your other half collects something weird—or unusual quantities of something normal—and won't want to join the program with you.

The husband of one of our test panelists, Tiffany, collects T-shirts (Tiffany's story is
here
). He has dozens, perhaps hundreds of T-shirts—T-shirts for play and T-shirts for work, she says. (Even though his workplace provides new ones on a regular basis, he still keeps his old ones.) She claims to have no idea why he has so many of them. Perhaps because he feels he looks particularly good in a T-shirt? Perhaps a parent drilled into him the importance of never, ever throwing away a T-shirt? Who knows? But Tiffany's bedroom wasn't going to be clutter-free as long as they were in there. Her solution was to leave one dresser drawer for his T-shirts and put the rest into a large storage bin; she'll dole out new ones as his current ones wear out.

She laughed as she told this story, but in many households, a spouse who hangs on to clutter isn't funny. Sometimes a spouse can give the impression that objects are more important than the relationship. Sometimes a cluttered spouse doesn't seem like a loving spouse. A huge collection of treasured objects can even break up a relationship.

I'm not quite as worried about kids and teens who won't take part in the program. At no point during the 6 weeks do I ask you to declutter your child's bedroom. If you do, that's great. I think it's important for parents to teach their kids to take care of their surroundings. But I want you to focus on areas that you can control—and controlling your child's room may require more time and hassle than you should expend. (If your kids' junk is in
your
bed
room or in shared areas of the home, that's an entirely different matter, and I want you to take steps to address this stuff.)

If your spouse is clinging to clutter and resisting the changes you want to make, keep these ideas in mind.

Remember that it's not about the stuff.
If you start arguing about the clutter, you will inevitably find yourself in a battle over who wins the argument. Instead, talk about the vision you both have for your home and the different rooms in it. Agree on a common vision and start from there.

Negotiate.
All relationships are about give and take. Reflect on how you decide on your vacation destinations or the movies you'll watch together, and apply those same techniques when discussing what stays and what goes in your home.