Losing Gabriel (27 page)

“It isn't the only hard thing that happened today.” She sucked in a breath while Melody stayed quiet and waited for Lani's other news. “Ben and I broke up. He…um…he sent me a text—”

“He
texted
a breakup message? The coward! He couldn't tell you to your face?”

Lani motioned for her sister to calm down. “I won't say it's unexpected. Some of my friends from school…nursing students, have let me know that he's been flirty with a couple of the girls who come around the pool when he's on duty. That's how I met him. Remember?” She glanced at Melody, saw her dark expression. “It's all right, Mel. I…I haven't felt like we were a couple for…well, for a while now.”

“Because your job comes first.” Mel's voice was flat but loaded with implications.

“Gabe means a lot to me. I can't help it. Every time he wheezes, I know how to help him breathe. Can Sloan do that?
Will
she do it?”

The sun had set and shadows had crept across the carpet and up the far wall. Neither of them reached to turn on the lamp. Melody set her glass on the floor and took her sister's hands in hers. “Look at me.” Lani raised her eyes. “This isn't just about the little boy, is it? It's about the father too. Ben's just been a distraction. Correct?”

“Yes.” Lani's voice was barely audible.

“Losing Ben isn't the tragedy here. The tragedy would be losing Gabriel and his father.”

Her lawyer sister had made a perfect summation. Lani turned pleading eyes on Melody. “What should I do? I can't quit. I can't leave Gabe. And I…I can't face Dawson and Sloan getting back together.”

Melody steepled her fingers, leaned back, and asked, “Lani, do you know the difference between emergency workers and regular people?” Mel's voice came through her gloom with a question that felt so far out in left field that Lani simply stared at her. “
What?
What kind of question is that?”

Melody repeated it, adding, “Humor me. Tell me the difference and maybe you'll see the point I want to make.”

“I don't
know
! Uniforms?”

“That's not the answer I'm thinking of.”

“Well you'll have to tell me because I'm lost here.”

Melody straightened up and looked into Lani's eyes. “Whenever there's a disaster, regular people run away from it while emergency workers run toward it.”

“So?”

Melody stood up. “You're smart….Figure it out, little sister. Which one are you?”

Feeling completely confused, Lani watched Melody turn on the lamp to chase the darkness as she left the room.

S
loan felt warm breath on her face, plus the smell of Cheerios. She struggled through a layer of sleep, forced open one eyelid, and saw blue eyes peering at her from the side of the sleeper sofa. Both her eyelids snapped wide open. Gabe was propped on elbows, leaning into her face, in a serious stare-down. “Gabe!” She scooted back on her pillow, bringing him into better focus. He wore Spider-Man pajamas and clutched a stuffed toy dog under one arm. She had no idea what time it was, only that it seemed like she'd just gone to bed. Still she offered a smile, pushing away cobwebs in her brain. “Good morning. You're up early.”

He held out his dog, a dachshund made from smooth brown leather. “Woof-Woof says hi.”

She visually examined the floppy leather ears and black button eyes and nose.
Cute.
“Good morning, Woof-Woof.”

Seemingly satisfied with her greeting, Gabe trotted to where her roller bag lay, its contents spilling onto the floor. Sloan scrambled up. Dawson had been quite clear that she was to be on constant guard against Gabe's curiosity. She had cigarettes somewhere in the suitcase and didn't want Gabe finding the pack. “Gabe, that's my stuff…you shouldn't bother it.”

He passed the bag and stopped at her guitar case. “What's dat?”

“My guitar.”

He gave her a quizzical look. “Want to see.”

“Maybe later,” she said, still trying to shake out the cobwebs.

“Gabe? You down there?” Dawson's voice from the top of the stairs.

Gabe's eyes widened and he scampered back to the stairs. “I here, Daddy.”

“I told you not to go down there and bother Sloan.”

“It's all right!” Sloan called. “I'm up.”

“Come here
now,
Gabe.” Dawson sounded cross. His voice mellowed as he added, “Lani's here.”

“Laaaani!” Gabe's face lit up and he hustled up the stair steps.

Sloan watched Gabe disappear up the steps that had been carpeted before— Well,
before.
She let out a breath, realizing that ready or not, her day had started, and she promised herself she'd go to bed much earlier from now on. She hurried to the bathroom to shower and get ready for a day of job hunting.

Lani was loading the dishwasher and Gabe was sitting at the table with a pile of Play-Doh when Sloan came up into the kitchen. Lani offered a smile. “Morning.” She felt completely at loose ends, unsure as to how to interact with Sloan, but knew she had to make this work out for Gabe's sake.

“Hey.”

Gabe ignored them as he rolled up tiny dough balls and set them in a straight line on the tabletop.

“Dawson gone already?”

Lani looked at the clock. “Left twenty minutes ago. His job starts early.” Lani busied herself, sidled Sloan a glance. “Breakfast? Eggs in fridge, cereal in upper cupboard—”

“I know where things are around here,” Sloan cut her off testily.

Lani retreated into silence, realizing that Sloan knew every nook and cranny of this house, for she'd lived here before Lani was ever a hireling.

Sloan pulled open the refrigerator door, peered inside, shut the door. She wasn't a breakfast person. She went to the pantry, opened that door, and pulled out a box of Pop-Tarts. “This is fine. Any coffee?”

Lani motioned to the carafe on the other side of the kitchen. “I can make fresh.”

“And I can drink this.” Sloan had no desire to buddy up to this Lani. She went to the cabinet that held the coffee mugs and took one, filling it with what remained in the pot.

The tension in the room was palpable. Lani stiffened her back. Coexisting with Sloan wasn't going to be easy. “I'm taking Gabe to the park.”

The word
park
galvanized Gabe. “Now, Lani? Go to park now?”

“Not in your pajamas.”

Gabe looked down at himself, giggled. “I get clothes.” He scooted off the banquette and ran for the upstairs.

“Does he run everywhere?”

“Mostly,” Lani said.

Sloan drank her coffee, mentally weighing her day's options, and decided that job hunting could wait another twenty-four hours. “Can I go to the park with you and Gabe?”

Her request surprised Lani, and she couldn't come up with a reason to say no. “If you want.”

“I don't want to impose.” She made the word sound like an imposition. She locked eyes with Lani. “But I think we should talk.”

Lani felt a chill skitter up her back. “I think we should too.” She left Sloan in the kitchen and went upstairs to help Gabe dress.

Morning was a good time of day to take Gabe to the park he loved. Lani settled him and a black backpack into a shiny red Radio Flyer wagon for the five-block trip. Riding helped conserve his energy for the playground. Sunlight dappled the sidewalk from overhead trees, and the air held a just-washed smell of grass and freshly turned soil and summer flowers. Sloan followed behind the wagon, and Gabe pointed out
everything
that caught his interest along the way, which turned out to be everything. At the park he tumbled out of the wagon and ran to the slides, jungle gyms, and swings, all brilliantly painted in primary colors.

“Push me, Lani!” He threw himself across a sling-style swing, almost running over a toddler younger than himself.

Lani threw a visual
Sorry
to the boy's mother and settled Gabe on the hard rubber seat.

“Won't he fall off?” Sloan motioned to the nearby cage seats designed for safety.

“He's been practicing pumping his legs for weeks to surprise his father.” Gabe grabbed the chains on either side, and Lani gently pulled the swing backward and let go. “All he needs is a little push.” She and Sloan stood behind him, watching him struggle to go higher. Once he was swinging smoothly, Lani said, “You wanted to talk.”

Women sat chatting on benches that surrounded the play area, abandoned strollers parked on the grass. Children ran and shouted. Sloan shrugged. “I guess this is as good a place as any.” She kept her eyes on Gabe's back, on his short legs stretching toward the sky. “Dawson and I talked for a long time last night.”

Lani trained her eyes on Gabe also, unwilling to look at Sloan.

“He told me about Gabe's asthma. I don't know anything about asthma.”

Lani wondered if Sloan expected her to give her a brochure or something. She decided to say nothing, make Sloan ask for anything she wanted.
Don't volunteer.

“Dawson told me about Franklin too, his heart attack and moving to Chicago. I was sorry about that. I like Franklin, and he was always good to me.”

“His doctors say he'll be fine if he just watches his stress levels and takes his heart medications. We all miss him, but he Skypes us every week.”

“Dawson told me Franklin handpicked you from his nursing program to take care of Gabe. He said he agreed to Franklin's choice.”

Sloan made it sound as if Franklin had twisted Dawson's arm. Lani fought to keep her cool. “I'm qualified.”

“Of course you are. Paid help should be capable.”

Was that what Dawson had told Sloan? That Lani was only
paid help
? Lani thought back to the night on the porch, of Dawson taking a step closer to her, the look on his face. Or had she seen only what she wanted to see, longed to see? How she'd struggled not to fling herself into his arms! “Gabe's more than a
job
to me. I love caring for him. He's an amazing little boy, and he's an asthmatic, a special needs child.” She set Sloan straight about her role with Gabe.

Sloan's gaze scraped over Lani. She felt it, sharp as a razor.

“You're not really a nurse, though, are you? You're just studying to
be
a nurse.”

“I've been working in the hospital for three years, attending classes for two. My third, and final year, starts at the end of next month. Why the third degree?” Lani bristled at the way Sloan was putting her on the defensive, decided she needed to stand her ground. “Dawson talked to me too. This morning. He said that your stay at the house was temporary and that as soon as you earned enough money, you'd be moving out.”