Lost and Found (24 page)

When I woke up and saw Laney on the sofa, I was confused, but I had taken up the entire bed like a starfish, each appendage stretching toward a corner, so maybe she’d gotten sick of getting slapped in the face. But when she wasn’t home the next evening after work, or the next morning or the next days, and I didn’t even hear the scratch of Jenny’s paws on the door or tiny barks, something started to work into the cavity of my chest. A dull ache grew.

Avery noticed one evening at work. “You look like hell.”

“Yeah. Well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think my girlfriend is trying to dump me, and I’m trying to get her to spend the rest of her life with me.”

“Uh.
Since when do you have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. It just happened. All of this just ha
ppened.”

“What’s she like?”

“Normally? Wonderful. Right now, my worst nightmare. How do I get her to talk to me?”

“What did you do?”

I ran my hand through my hair and shrugged. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I did
anything.
”

“You did. Or she’s cheating on you.”

“She’s not cheating on me,” I said.

“You sure?”

I nodded. Avery said, “Then you did something. Maybe it’s something embarrassing she doesn’t want to tell you about.”

“Like?”

“A sex thing she wants from you? Or something you did to her?”

I saw the entire nurses’ station leaning in, waiting for my a
nswer. I lowered my voice, “No.”

“You have to find out. Talk to her.”

“I’m
trying.
”

“Well, try harder.”

“Thanks for the solid advice, doctor.”

She patted me on the back and then said, “Any time!” happily as she left, all the nurses now giving me sidelong glances and whispe
ring.

We sat on an uncomfortable pink upholstered sofa as Ursula stood in a chiffon tiered dress in front of the three way mirror. “You look perfect,” I said. Emily said, “Divine.”

Ursula’s mother pursed her lips and said, “I don’t know. Rita?” She turned her head to her sister, and Ol
iver’s mom said, “No, I don’t think so.”

“I agree,” Mrs. Claremont said. The shop girl’s face fell. This was the tenth dress they’d hated.

Dr. Webber said, “You look pregnant.” Ursula frowned and sucked in her stomach, saying, “Well, I’m not.”

“It would explain the rush for the wedding,” Rita said.

“I think we need a break,” Emily said with a clap of her hands, and we both went to Ursula to help her get out of the latest gown.

After we’d unbuttoned all eighty buttons and Ursula was slouching in only a strapless bra and pan
ties, looking completely unpregnant, she said, “I hate this. This was supposed to be fun, but I just feel ugly.”

“You’re not. You’re beautiful,” I said.

“No, you two were beautiful in those bridesmaid dresses. I wish Michael’s sister was here to try hers on.”

“Emerald green is your color,” Emily said to me, and I plastered on a tight smile. Ursula had chosen short bodice-hugging green dresses. There was abs
olutely no hiding the depigmentation sprinkled on the backs of my knees. I’d begged her to pick a longer gown, but both she and Emily had insisted I looked sexy. It was like Oliver had taken over their brains.

I shook my head and almost started crying at the thought of Oliver seeing me in this dress, being emba
rrassed by me in this dress. I knew I had to break it off with Oliver formally. Right now I was just hiding from him, avoiding him. I was in love with him and he couldn’t even admit to his friends that he was seeing me. Cliff hadn’t wanted to outright hide our relationship. Not for long, anyway.

But when I broke up with Oliver, I was pretty sure I was going to shrivel up, and I didn’t want to do that until Ursula was on her ho
neymoon. She had enough to worry about.

Until then, I’d simply been ignoring Oliver’s texts and keeping my light off so he never knew if I was home. I even watched movies in the be
droom, on my laptop, with headphones on. I walked Jenny when I knew he was at work, until I’d decided I was just too tired to care for her, and had shipped her off to Emily’s. It was a miserable existence, but it would be over soon enough.

There was a knock on the door, and I cracked it open to see Rita’s unsmiling face on the other side. “Hi,” I said brightly, slipping out of the dressing room to leave Emily to help Ursula.

Rita practically spat when she saw me looking through dresses on the floor of the bridal shop this morning, but I’d simply smiled and offered her my hand, which she’d stared at before I dropped it. She didn’t look much happier now when she said, “My son is here. He asked for you.”

“Me?” I asked in confusion.

She simply pointed in the direction of Oliver, and I went. He was looking at a rack of wedding dresses, hands shoved in the pockets of his worn jeans, wearing a gray sweater with a giant hole in the elbow, and another at the shoulder, over a blue button-up, shirttails sticking out, his coat tucked under one arm. His hair was messy, there were holes in his jeans, his face was tired and unshaven and he was totally, completely beautiful. He turned and saw me staring at him and his face practically split in two when he smiled at me. “Hey,” he said, making his way to me in three strides. He reached out for me, and as if he remembered himself, left his hands at his sides.

“Hey,” I said weakly.

“You’ve been busy, huh? You’re hardly ever home.”

“Work.
Lots of work,” I lied, my voice cracking.

He reached out for me again, and this time he didn’t stop himself. “I missed you,” he whispered, speaking into
my hair as his arms wrapped around me. “I should be angry that you never answer my texts, but work’s been crazy for me, too. Plus, I miss you.”

“You said that twice.” I tried to hold on to the anger I’d been feeling ever since he’d all but a
dmitted he was ashamed of me, but I couldn’t. I was pathetic.

He unwrapped himself from me and then pushed away. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said with a shake of his head. “I know Ursula’s here. That was stupid. She’ll give me hell,” he said, but he was smi
ling and still holding onto my hand.

I untangled our fingers and said, “What are you doing here?”

“I called Ursula. She asked me to take you all to lunch. She said you were going crazy,” he said, still smiling at me.

“Oliver,” Rita said, sucking all the warmth out of the room. His smile fell. “Hello, Mother.”

“Ursula is almost ready,” Rita said, looking past me, and Oliver bumped my shoulder. “You up for some falafel?” he asked.

“Falafel?”
Rita said like she would say, “Norovirus?”

“The Pita Pit!”
Ursula said with a squeal from behind us, and I smiled, thankful to not be alone with two Dr. Webbers any longer.

When we were sitting with our lunches around three tables shoved together, Rita opting for only
a bottled water when she saw the tomatoes behind the sneeze guard and muttered something about foodborne illnesses, Oliver said as he kicked my shin under the table, “So, what’s your dress look like?” He took a big bite of his sandwich and leaned forward, tahini dripping onto the wrapper in front of him.

Emily answered for me, “It’s this emerald green wrap dress. Tight, low-cut, short hem. She looks amazing.”

“She always looks amazing. Still, can’t wait,” he said, and waggled his eyebrows at me. Everyone stopped eating and looked between Oliver and me, and I shook my head slightly and put down my pita, my appetite completely gone.

“What do you mean?” Emily asked, narrowing her eyes at Ol
iver.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” he said, co
mpletely unconcerned that everyone was looking at him. “Delaney always looks amazing. Do you disagree?”

“No,” Emily said slowly. “I don’t.”

Finally, with no one speaking, Oliver put down his pita. “What?”

“It’s just,” Ursula said, “you sound like, like…”

“Like Delaney’s boyfriend,” Emily said.

I covered my face with my hands. I didn’t want to see what Rita was doing.
Probably ordering a custom Delaney voodoo doll.

“Well, I’m not her boyfriend,” he said, and I peeked through my fingers to see annoyance all over his face. “Not even close.”

I tucked my hands under my butt and said, “Nope. Not even close.” I smiled at Emily and she said, “Uh huh?” and then she looked back at Oliver and asked, “But do you
want
to be with her?”

Oliver’s mother cleared her throat when Oliver remained incrim
inatingly silent. “I’d love to hear the answer to this,” she said, shooting him a withering look.

He looked at me and I looked away immediately. He didn’t answer, and then left the table to throw out the rest of his lunch.

On the awkward walk back to the bridal shop, Emily asked, “Do you want to see the bridesmaid dresses, Oliver?”

“Why would he want to see the dresses?” I said right as Oliver said, “Sure.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Great!” Emily said. “Delaney can model it for you.” I shot her a scornful look as I ducked into a dressing room.

When I emerged, Rita clucked as she glanced down at my bare legs. Oliver stared. Emily clapped and Ursula winked.

“You look beautiful,” Oliver said, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with an uncomfortable swallow. Then he added, “And I wouldn’t cover up your legs. It would be a shame for all of us who get to enjoy them during the ceremony.” Then he walked up to me and brushed my bangs back. “And we talked about this a
lready. No one can see your eyes behind this. Emily, do you have a pin or a clip or something?”

Emily hooted from behind me with a, “God yes,” and handed something to Oliver. His eyes were steely and stormy and fixed on me as he pinned my hair and then stepped back and said, “There. Beaut
iful, now that we can actually see you.” My hand went reflexively to the patch on my forehead, but then I dropped it as I saw the clear, unadulterated lust in Oliver’s eyes.

Nora said, “Well, what do you think, Rita?” but Rita didn’t say a
nything.

I yanked up the top of the dress, which was traveling dangerously southward and Oliver’s eyes dropped to where my hands were holding up the dress, and then he looked away. “I should get g
oing. My shift starts soon.”

“Right,” I said, backing up into the dressing room.

A minute later, the dress half unzipped, there was a knock on the door and Oliver said, “Delaney? Do you have a minute?”

I quickly zipped up the dress as best I could and opened the door, waving him in. “Hey,” I said.

“Hey.” His eyes dropped and I looked down to see the top of my lacy strapless bra showing, and I yanked the dress up quickly as my cheeks heated. “Sorry,” I said, staring at the carpet.

He cleared his throat and said, “Before I go, I thought we could talk.
About why you seem to be avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“You are. Please tell me why.” His voice was gravelly and his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot and his lips were cracked.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” I said.

“Pretty much none. I don’t know what I did wrong. Please tell me. I want to fix it.”

“Nothing,” I said idly.

“Sure.” His voice dropped and he stepped closer. “Listen, if I did something that made you uncomfortable, you can tell me.” He looked right into my eyes and I said, “No, it’s not you, it’s…” I wanted to tell him that I had feelings I knew he couldn’t return, but the words died in my throat, and then there was another knock on the door.

“Lane?” Emily said. “We need your opinion here. U
rsula’s mom and Aunt Rita are about to become my homicide victims.”

“I should get dressed,” I said to Oliver.

“Tomorrow morning? After I get back from work?” Oliver said.

“Sure,” I said, trying to hide my panic.
“Absolutely.”

“Great.” He gave me a tight smile and walked past me, and I put my head in my hands as Emily said, “What is going
on
with you two?”

“What do you mean?
Nothing.”

“That’s why he was eye fucking you all through lunch?”

“Jesus, Emily.”

“Sit down,” she said, pushing me into the stool in the corner. “And tell me everything that’s going on with you two.”

“I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t,” I said as my voice cracked.

“You can, and you will. Talk.
Now.” She put her hands on her hips and stared me down, and I put my head in my hands, groaned, and started talking.