Love Comes Silently(Senses 1) (14 page)

“What do you want for dinner?” Ken asked as the room began to dim. They had moved to the sofa, but every time he’d gotten up to leave, she’d moved closer. Ken wasn’t going to begrudge her any attention he could lavish on her, so he stayed and watched cartoons that threatened to turn his mind to mush.

“Maccheese with Patrick,” Hanna answered, and Ken sighed. “He makes the best mac-cheese.”

“I know, honey, and we can check to see if he’s home, but he may be gone.” Ken still had things he wanted to talk over with him. Hanna got up and hunted up her jacket, then stood by the door waiting for Ken. Deciding it wasn’t worth the fight, he got his own jacket and held Hanna’s hand as they walked to Patrick’s. The house was dark, and there didn’t appear to be anyone home. Hanna insisted on ringing the bell and swore she could hear someone inside, but there were no lights and no one answered. “Let’s go home and I’ll heat up some dinner for you,” Ken said, taking her hand and leading Hanna home. “We’ll probably see him tomorrow.” They stepped down the walk. Ken turned back when they reached the sidewalk, and he thought he might have seen the curtains on one of the front windows move, but he wasn’t sure, and he certainly didn’t say anything to Hanna. He hoped Patrick wasn’t avoiding them for some reason and passed the movement off as nothing.

When they got home, Ken made Hanna some dinner and ate a little himself before putting her to bed. Ken read her a story, and once Hanna was asleep, Ken returned to his studio and got back to work. He’d already given up on the portrait of Mark and begun work on the large, fullsized painting of Patrick. He took that as a sign. His heart wanted Patrick, not Mark, he knew that now. Somehow, he needed to figure out a way to tell Patrick just what he was feeling and find out how Patrick felt about him.

Chapter Six

 

J
ULIANNE walked to the table in her kitchen, where Patrick sat nursing a cup of coffee. “I think it’s about time you tell me why you’ve been moping around my kitchen for the last three hours and have been a complete bear for two weeks,” Julianne said as she pulled out a chair and sat down. Todd raced in, sliding to a stop in his sock feet, and Patrick lifted his cousin onto his lap. Julianne got up and then returned with a sippy cup that she set down in front of her son. “Here’s your coffee,” she told him, and Todd grabbed the cup and began to drink. It looked like apple juice to Patrick, and he smiled at his cousin’s little deception. Julianne sat back down and pushed a pad in Patrick’s direction. “Spill it. I know you’ve been hiding here during the day, and while I love the company and Todd adores having his uncle to play with, you haven’t been your usual bubbly self.”

Patrick scowled at her sarcasm, but he couldn’t argue with her. As he sipped from his mug, he bounced his knee, and Todd giggled. Realizing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he pulled the pad toward him. “
His old boyfriend came back
,” Patrick wrote.

“So,” Julianne responded, pushing the pad back. “Old boyfriends show up like bad pennies.”

 

“
I saw them kissing
,” Patrick wrote, and he saw Julianne’s eyes widen.

 

“Are you sure?”

Patrick nodded. “
I was having lunch with Ken and Hanna, and Mark
,” Patrick scrawled the name as hastily as he could, as though it were a dirty word, “
showed up
.
He greeted Ken like an old friend, and I left because I didn’t want to interfere and
….” Patrick paused. “
I went back and saw them kissing through the kitchen window
.” Patrick slid the pad back and hugged Todd to him.

“So they kissed. Are you sure it wasn’t this Mark kissing Ken? You didn’t hear what they were saying, did you?”

Patrick pushed back from the table, and Todd looked up at him. Patrick lifted the boy off his lap and handed him to Julianne. What he’d seen didn’t take much of an explanation, and he’d been staying away for two weeks.

“So you got your heart broken,” Julianne said as she took Todd. “It’s not the end of the world, and he may not love you the way you wanted, but he’s still your friend, and his daughter misses you, doesn’t she?” Patrick looked at his shoes and nodded. “I understand about being hurt, but you avoiding that sick little girl is only making her wonder what she did wrong.” Patrick lifted his gaze, and Julianne tilted her head slightly. “What?”

Patrick sat back down, and when Julianne settled Todd on her lap, he curled against her. “
They knocked on my door later that day, twice, and I hid from them
.” Patrick passed the note to Julianne, who simply shook her head.

“I don’t know what to tell you. If he was kissing his ex, then he was. Have you seen this guy hanging around a lot?” Julianne inquired, and Patrick shook his head. He really hadn’t, and as much as he’d tried to avoid Ken, he’d still kept an eye on him, and Mark’s black Toyota hadn’t been seen around their house. “Then I have a piece of advice for you. Talk to him. Grab your best pad and pen and pay him a visit. Sit down face to face, pad to pad, and talk to him. If he isn’t interested in you, then you’ll know and can move on, but until you ask, you’ll wonder. And continue to act”—Julianne smirked—“a little creepy.”

“
I wasn’t spying on them or anything. It was an accident
,” Patrick scrawled defensively.

“I know.” Julianne reached out and patted his hand. “But you’re obsessing over him, and that isn’t good.” Patrick had to agree with her. He knew he was preoccupied with Ken, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe she was right and he needed to talk to him. The worst that could happen was Ken would tell him that he wasn’t interested.

“You know all this insanity could be avoided if you just learned to communicate properly.” Julianne lifted her mug and drank. “You’re going to learn sign language. I’m going to sign you up for lessons, and we’re all going to go, even Todd.” Patrick began to shake his head, but Julianne stopped him with a stare. “You need to stop hiding and rejoin the rest of the world. At least think about it. The hospital has a program for the deaf, and they’ll teach all of us sign language. If nothing else, you’ll be able to communicate without having to write everything down.”

Patrick nodded and sighed at the same time.

“Good. Now promise me you’ll talk to Ken and find out where you stand.” Julianne was determined. Patrick tried to look away, but she stared him down. Once again, he found himself agreeing. “Now finish your coffee and you can head on home. It’s time for Todd’s nap, and I can have a few hours to myself.” Julianne set Todd on his feet, and he found some trucks and began playing on the floor. Patrick finished his coffee and said good-bye to his Todd before kissing Julianne on the cheek. Then he left and headed to his car for the nerve-racking drive home. He wasn’t sure how he could confess to Ken how he felt, but he deserved to be told. And Patrick knew he deserved to know if Ken felt the same way. He couldn’t seem to get the image of that kiss out of his head. It had hurt really badly to see Mark and Ken kissing,because he’d wished it was him. Patrick desperately wanted the person standing in front of Ken in his kitchen, holding those soft, smooth cheeks, and kissing Ken’s full, red lips to be him. Was that too much to ask? After all he’d lost already, was finding someone to love him too much to hope for?

Patrick parked in front of his house and then walked the short distance to Ken’s, shuffling up the walk as he tried to delay what he figured was the inevitable. Ken appeared to be home, and as he approached the front, Patrick knocked softly on the door and waited. It swung open, and Ken stood in the opening. Patrick smiled at the momentary delight in Ken’s eyes, which dimmed a few seconds later. “I wasn’t expecting to see you,” Ken said, and Patrick nodded. His absence had obviously been missed. “Hanna has asked about you almost every day. She’s worried about you,” Ken told him in an accusing tone. Patrick knew that and he was sorry for it, but all he could do was nod and look down. He wasn’t sure how Ken was going to react or if he was just going to close the door in his face. “Come in,” Ken offered, and Patrick stepped inside.

Patrick looked around, but didn’t see Hanna or any of the toys or paper that signified that she’d been around. He patted his chest, wondering if he’d brought a pad, but he hadn’t.

“Hanna’s taking a nap—she’ll sleep for hours,” Ken said softly. “She’s been doing that more and more lately.” Ken’s lower lip trembled. “She started treatments again, but they’re taking lot out of her.” Ken looked devastated, and Patrick’s heart felt squeezed in his chest. Without thinking, he stepped forward, tugging Ken into his arms. “She’s not doing well, Patrick, and I don’t know….” His thought trailed off in what sounded like a sob. “They say this is going to help her, but she keeps getting weaker and weaker.”

There was nothing Patrick could do but hold Ken. He had no words of comfort, and instead he smoothed his hand over Ken’s soft hair and lightly stroked his back. This was what he’d been dreaming of for weeks. He wasn’t sure why Mark wasn’t here to comfort Ken, but right now he didn’t really care. He had Ken in his arms, and his head rested on Patrick’s shoulders, his breath blowing on Patrick’s skin. They stood there with the door still open for a while. Patrick was afraid to move, figuring Ken would remember who was holding him and need to step away. A light breeze blew across them, and Ken lifted his head off Patrick’s shoulder, their eyes locking.

Ken’s eyes seemed to hold all the magic of the world, as blue as the ocean and nearly as deep. His lips parted slightly, and Patrick leaned closer, swallowing hard. When Ken didn’t pull back, Patrick moved closer yet, touching his lips to Ken’s for the first time. The touch was so light, Patrick barely realized they’d begun to kiss until Ken leaned forward, deepening the touch.

Patrick didn’t wait for an additional invitation. He cupped the back of Ken’s head with his hand and deepened the kiss further. Ken moaned softly, and Patrick parted his lips, feeling Ken dothe same. Patrick accepted the invitation, exploring Ken’s mouth with his tongue. Ken continued making little noises in this throat that sounded as close to joyful music as anything Patrick had ever heard in his life. Lifting his leg, Patrick caught the door and kicked it closed, neither of them paying the slightest attention to the thud as the fresh breeze ceased. Not that Patrick noticed as he continuing pummeling Ken’s mouth with kiss after kiss. He’d been dreaming of this for months. Ever since he’d first seen Ken, he’d wondered what his lips would taste like, and now he knew: sweet with a hint of spice.

Ken moaned again, and Patrick gentled the kiss before letting their lips part. Ken breathed deeply, like he’d just run a race, and Patrick stared into his eyes, wondering what Ken’s reaction to his advance would be. He half expected to be told to leave, but instead Ken kissed him with a passion and need that curled Patrick’s toes.

They moved together, kissing and holding each other as Ken guided him up the stairs. Patrick didn’t look around as they moved, his entire attention focused on Ken. He hadn’t come over expecting this, but when they reached Ken’s bedroom, Patrick knew that if he got the chance to be with Ken just once, then he’d take it. Surging forward once Ken closed the door, Patrick kissed Ken all the way to the bed and then down onto the mattress. Ken groaned when Patrick slipped a hand beneath his shirt, and Patrick slid his hand over Ken’s warm, smooth belly and chest. Ken’s muscles ripped and shivered with what Patrick thought was excitement as he stroked upward, his fingers gliding over a nipple.

Ken vibrated beneath him, and Patrick shifted slightly, gripping the hem of Ken’s shirt and lifting it up and over his head. Patrick stopped kissing just long enough to pull the fabric off and then resumed his attack on Ken’s now kiss-swollen lips. Patrick broke the kiss and then tugged off his own shirt as Ken shimmied onto the bed, his half-lidded eyes glazed over with want. Patrick had never seen so sexy a sight in his life. Ken really wanted him, something Patrick had never thought he’d see. Prowling back onto the bed, Patrick straddled Ken’s legs and hips, then stroked his hands up Ken’s side and over his shoulders. He longed to tell Ken how beautiful he was, long and lean with pale skin that reminded Patrick of alabaster.

Patrick trailed his lips down Ken’s neck and shoulder, listening as Ken gasped and moaned softly. At the base of his throat, Patrick found a spot that made Ken’s entire body throb, and he licked and kissed that spot until Ken begged him to stop. Then he licked the spot again, and Ken’s head rolled back and forth on the pillow as his saltysweet flavor had Patrick’s tongue tingling. Patrick loved the way he responded to him and the little noises Ken made as Patrick licked his way down his chest and belly, which nearly sent him into orbit. It had been a long time since he’d touched anyone like this. In fact, Patrick had figured after the accident that he’d never be able to touch someone like this again, but here he was with Ken, the man he’d been dreaming about for months.

“Do that again,” Ken moaned softly as Patrick licked and sucked on one of his small, pink nipples, and he felt Ken arch into him when he did just that, sucking the hard little bud until he felt Ken writhe on the mattress beneath him.