Authors: Love Belvin
After what seemed like minutes, Zoey exhaled deeply, I could smell the alcohol on her breath. It did shit to me.
“I’m sorry, Stent. I should have thought more carefully. I shouldn’t have had Bernard bring me up here. I was trying to psyche myself out of you showing after you didn’t for Thanksgiving. I was upset that you didn’t see how good JR’s crawling had gotten.”
What the fuck?
Zoey apologized.
“Zoey, my schedule is a bitch, but you know I try—”
“I know!” her face balled. “You’ve been more than reasonable with your time. I’m sorry.”
I nodded as I chewed on my bottom lip. I was far more relieved than I let on. The last thing I needed was for Zoey to think I wasn’t playing my part. I didn’t want her to be overwhelmed. She didn’t deserve that.
“I know you have a life, and…more specifically a personal life to tend to. I’ll just…I’ll just have to adjust.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. The “personal life” she referred to wasn’t a priority. Nothing came before Zoey and Jordan. Period.
“Well, I’m going to bed. Wake me if you reach JR before I do in the morning,” she uttered softly before standing to leave.
I wanted to tell her to hold off for a minute so that we could talk some more. I didn’t want a peaceful moment to pass so quickly.
Zoey Barrett apologized
. That was a fucking anomaly. Nonetheless, I let her leave, believing it was for the best. Having Zoey alone in an empty room like this, smelling like that in a tipsy state was no bueno.
I must have stayed in there for another thirty minutes before heading to my room. On my way there, I ran down all of the things I’d planned to have set up for my son’s first Christmas and concluded I was ready.
~
Zoey
~
I stirred in bed, disrupting the, likely, high thread count sheets and down blanket covering my needy frame. Only Stenton could get under my skin like this. Only he could have me feeling so off-kilter after apologizing and not receiving a response, neither gracious explanation nor apology in kind. It was official. Unsettled, I was tipsy and aroused beyond measure. What I didn’t share with him was my disappointment in his lack of apology. He hadn’t spent Thanksgiving with Jordan…
Okay,
with my family. With me.
He was arrogant, I’d quickly decided on. How dare he say nothing more about his absence? How dare he not formally account for his offenses? Yeah, I was intoxicated, but still lucid enough to want to rustle him. No more. I would not lay here and wrestle with this alone. I tossed the covers off, slipped on my slippers and paraded to his room down the hall.
I knocked, but didn’t wait for an answer. Opening the door, I entered the dark room and immediately heard “Secret” by Maroon 5 flowing in the air. So caught up in my need to read him, and realizing I couldn’t yell my frustrations, I attempted to find the bed in the dark. When I did, I dropped my knees on it for dramatic flair.
“You don’t get to walk away and not accept any culpability in this,” I grated. “You have done wrong. You act as if Jordan is the only one who needs to see—”
I was snatched down into the bed by strong arms. The yanking caused a yelping in my descent. My heart leaped from my chest, the air hurled from my lungs, and I landed flat on my back.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
In an instant, I was enraptured by his scent and natural heat, the hardness of his heavy frame, and the coolness of his breath. My breathing returned in short stints, my body tensed in total shock of his closeness, my will had halted at the collision with his beguiling countenance. In that moment, I was reminded of what it was like to be his Niña. It wasn’t looking good for me. The swell of my clitoris from just his proximity concerned me. I hadn’t planned on this. Didn’t anticipate my undisputed attraction to Stenton.
I broke.
“You love her…just like you used to love me.” I didn’t recognize my voice, but the truth in my words rang that of my fears.
I’d followed all the pictures of their date nights, event goings, and even Erika’s “elusive” private messages to Stenton on Facebook. Their relationship had started, yet my heart was still missing from my chest. It was still with Stenton. Even on Thanksgiving, Erika, her mother, Ellis, sister, Emily and brother, Erik, who had apparently developed a strong
bro
mance with Stenton, had posted pictures of them with him as though they were a family. I’d bottled the information since he left my apartment in August, after turning me away. It had been a difficult time holding in these rampant emotions with no one to share them. He and Jordan now belonged to …Erika Erceg.
From the light casting from the security bulb outside of his window, I could see Stenton grimace. He then mumbled a string of vulgarities under his breath. I don’t think I let out a single breath, awaiting his next move.
“Zo, I’ve never loved anybody or anything like or more than I love you. I don’t think I’ll ever put anything or one above the love I have for you.”
“You love Jordan far more than you love me,” I quickly hid my face, clearly embarrassed by my sudden jealousy of my own child. I felt exposed.
But it was a portion of my new and undeniable insecurity. Stenton’s commitment to Jordan never faltered, unlike his affection for me. My lips quivered in embarrassment of that confession. Before colliding with this man I had no bouts with jealousy or inferiority, but since his leaving me, I’d questioned lots of my essence.
“Look at me,” he gritted. I still attempted to hide my eyes. “Damn it, Zoey.” He took me at the chin. “Look at me!” My blurred eyes met his. “I love Jordan far beyond anything I’d ever thought was possible. When I look into his eyes, I see so much of my future, my legacy. I never thought I’d be so wrapped up in something so tiny.” As I listened, I felt the tears pool in my lids. “But that’s a different type of love. A different chamber of my heart. You are the very pulse of that heart that keeps it alive and capable of letting anything in.
You’re
the reason I could love Jordan. Sometimes I fucking wonder if I love you more than I love me. Look at this!” I sucked in a breath as my eyes grew at his ring finger, bearing my initial directly in my view. He’d now had my attention. “Always and forever, Zoey. No matter who or what, I’ll never have another love.”
“Stenton!” I whispered desperately.
And without thought, I grabbed him by the back of the head, pulling him into me until his mouth covered mine. In the recesses of my consciousness I knew I was crossing the line, knew I was wrong because he’d moved on to another woman. However, my immediate need overruled all morality and for the second time, I’d conceded and consented to overlooking my heart. I wanted him to make love to me. Yearned for him to provide a security that I never needed until him. I needed to feel that I was good enough to be with the man who stole my heart.
Stenton’s mouth moved down to my neck, making me squirm underneath him. I felt my desire liquefy between my legs. I was too caught up to react to him ripping my pajama shirt open, sending the buttons popping into the air. He next removed my flannel bottoms and panties, discarding them as well.
When he slowly licked down to my breasts, I clenched the sheets beneath my palms while biting my bottom lip to the point of breaking skin. And when Stenton worked down my belly and to the apex of my thighs, his facial hairs tickled my heightened skin and my hands gripped the back of his head as my pelvis thrust into his face. He inserted a finger in me, rolling it several times before including a second, eliciting a groan. The combination brought ripples of pleasure to every inch of me. I wanted to call out his name, affirming his diligence, but I couldn’t for fear of alerting the house of our activities.
Then I felt his finger enter a new cavity…the one below my vagina. My eyes flew open. That sensation was new. There was an area unexplored. The awkward impression of it didn’t supersede the pleasure from his tongue or other fingers inside of me. In fact, within seconds, it tripled the pleasure. The triad effect had my back bowing off the bed. Stenton was busy below, twirling his masterful tongue, plunging his long fingers into my core and looping another lone finger just below.
Zings of pleasure shot through my extremities, springing from my core. I thought I was going to lose my mind in bliss. And then I collided with ecstasy. My frame juddered violently on the mattress, toes curled, and fists clenched. I was overtaken by the most powerful orgasm wrecking my frame. I should have been mortified by the lack of control over my body, but I was shameless in my bliss. Instead of my explosive cry glaring from my vocals, the intensity forced it to ring silently into the air while my mouth hung agape to allow its escape.
Once I came down, Stenton moved to his knees and peered down on me. Still emotional about my forceful orgasm and disgraceful admittance, I found it difficult to return his gaze, however anxious about what he’d do next.
“You fucking him?” he growled, mouth glistening from the smears of my essence.
“
Wh
-what? No!” I couldn’t believe his question. I licked my lips. “Are you, her?”
His neck collapsed, obviously relieved. Then he slowly shook his head. “No.”
Still panting and fighting the fuzz of my brain, I asked, “Why would you assume?”
Stenton shook his head again, dismissively this time. “It wouldn’t matter anyway. Grab the condom on the nightstand.”
My right arm stretched and hand patted the table in the dark. Sure enough there was, not just one condom, but three.
My eyes flew open in the dimmed room.
Perfect music, condoms
. “You set this up? You knew I’d be in here?”
“Either that, or I was coming to you. But I kinda knew you’d be in here because you never let me lead. You always fucking take over.”
My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe he anticipated me. However, Stenton didn’t let me dwell on it for long.
“Put it on me,” he demanded throatily.
With shaky and impatient hands and slight recollection from when he taught me long ago, I rolled the plastic over his engorged appendage. I had to endure his heavy breathing, reminding me of the effect I had on Stenton when I touched him.
Stenton pulled me from the bed and positioned me against the wall as I clung to him, feeling his erection just below my cheeks. I wanted him so bad it hurt. Then he hesitated. With his arms stretched behind me, pushing into the wall, his head hung low, contemplatively.
Though my body trembled, giving away my need for him, I gave Stenton a moment.
“I know I’m giving fucked up messages by my insatiable need for you, Niña,” his hoarse vocals produced a gravely tone. “I just need you to know that no one or thing compares to what I feel for you. My promise is to always put you first. No one else.”
Before I could probe about this promise, Stenton’s mouth covered mine and breached me below, robbing my ability to produce a coherent thought. I could only feel the fullness of his girth inside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and burrowed my head into his neck. Then he yanked my ponytail roughly, pulling my head back so that he could assault my mouth once again.
His thrusts were just as artful as I’d recalled. His hips pushed up and into me, filling me deliciously, rubbing against a sensitive spot within. I arched my back to give into his lunges, and when I felt his mouth on my nipples, my mind blurred in ecstasy.
“If you don’t keep it down, you’re going to teach the Queen of Arches, next door a few new octaves,” his cool heavy breath gusted into my ear.
He then ducked his head, continuing his nibbling on my breast. When he used his hand to flick my other nipple, I was pushed over the edge. Giving way to my orgasm, I pushed my sex into him, meeting his plunges. My thighs tightened and I milked Stenton below with all I had, needing to savor this moment. My diligence was rewarded when he released a groan, alerting me of his ascension. This was what this man did to me. This was what we made together.
“Fuuuuuck, Niña!” he blew forcefully in my ear, attempting to muzzle his cry. Then I felt his teeth sink into the flesh of my shoulders. Ironically that smarting nip extended my float into ecstasy.
Yesssss…
Stenton lowered me onto the bed and I quickly rolled over to my side, totally depleted. I heard the patter from his amble away from the bed. When he returned, he laid next to me, totally calm composure in contradiction to my unsettled state. But when he applied feather light strokes to my hip as I laid with my back facing him, I melted. My insecurities also returned in spades.
“How do I know you’ve never done this to her?”
I felt his head shift behind me and his hand ceased.
Within seconds, he muttered firmly, “Because I would never make love to you if I’m sleeping with another woman. I may be greedy with your body, but I’m not fucking grimy, Zo.”
“But you
will
make love to her.” I fought the tears brimming my eyes. I wasn’t a crier, until Stenton. “You will sleep with her and then love her, just like you did m—” the tight ball rising in my chest closed my throat, leaving me unable to finish that painful theory.
“I won’t talk about her with you.”
My body tensed and eyes ballooned. “Why?”