Authors: Debra Clopton
Hopefully no one else noticed the similarities. Her stomach hurt just imagining that particular scenario. At least Cody would have no reason to suspect. All she'd ever told him growing up was that his father had been a bad guy who left her when she was pregnant. Not a complete lieâeven though she'd been the one to technically do the leaving.
But Max had left emotionally first when he chose to do that drug deal and break his promise.
She sat back, pushing food around her plate with her fork as she observed the way Max interacted with the other parents. Patience personified, though he didn't seem patronizing or condescending. Just confident. The parents, especially the mothers, seemed to warm to his personality like butter melting on a crescent roll. Not flirty, though one father did scoot his chair closer to his wife when she laughed at something Max said.
She swallowed a sip of water, her appetite long diminished from the tension-laced drive over with Cody and the surprise of seeing Max again for the first time in so long. Her body hadn't caught up to her emotions.
And if her stomach kept jumping every time Max's gaze flitted her direction, it might not ever catch up. Over a decade had passed, and he still had the power to physically undo her.
She was absolutely terrified to analyze that one.
“Well, folks.” Max scooted his chair back with a scrape against the polished wooden floors and stood. He braced his hands on the table, leaning forward slightly and pausing to briefly look every parent in the eye. “It's time to say goodbye. I've learned the hard way already that here at Camp Hope, dragging it out isn't good for anyone.”
No kidding. She'd end up crying and Cody would end up looking for an escape. Not like he needed any more prompting to run away. It wouldn't be the first time. She slowly stood with the others, fighting the rising panic welling in her throat as they filed outside to the porch. He would be fine. And so would she.
But what if he found out? What if Max found out?
She smiled at her son, who bobbed his head in a nod but didn't return the smile. He was nervous. She could tell by the pinched brow and the way his bottom lip curved on the side. Suddenly, all she could see was her baby boy, the one who used to follow her around the house, zooming a fire truck under her feet and burning his fingers on the cookie sheet because he was too impatient to wait. He needed her. Needed his mom.
But the only way for her to be there for him now was to leave.
Unwanted tears welled, and she blinked rapidly, forcing her voice to stay strong. She held out her arms, praying he would pacify her request for a hug. He fell quickly into her embrace, then hid a sniff behind a cough. She clutched him tightly, despite his stiffening against her touch, and tuned out the sounds of the parents around her performing similar rituals with their own kids.
Far too soon, she pulled away until she could see Cody's eyes. “I'll be back when it's time. You just obey Mr. Ringgold.” The name tasted foreign on her lips, but her heart knew it well.
“He said to call him Max.” Cody kept his eyes focused somewhere past her shoulder, and she could only assume it was for the same reason she kept darting her gaze to his nose. Easier not to cry that way. Maybe he wasn't so tough after all.
She pulled him in for one more hug, despite his grumbled protest.
Don't overdo it, Emma
. But the self-coaching wasn't working. Her desperate mommy heart kept taking charge. “Just obey. Let's do this right and get you home, okay?” She still couldn't believe she was telling anyone to do what Max Ringgold told them. Once upon a time that would have been a prison sentenceâor worse.
“I know.” Impatience crowded Cody's tone as he pulled away, and she bit back any more natural but unwanted advice. He was about to get plenty of that. Maybe he'd listen to someone else. But Max? It went against every instinct she had.
Still, he'd proved himself at the dinner table with the kids. He was capable and in charge. Max wasn't a punk teenager anymore, and she wasn't a needy girl attempting to fill herself with the temporal.
Mostly.
She grazed Cody's arm. “You know I love you, right?” She couldn't help itâher voice cracked.
“I know.” Cody shuffled his feet, nodding with a jerk. “Relax, Mom. I'm not a murderer or anything.”
At least there was that. She figured she wasn't getting a return “I love you,” but then again, he hadn't said that in a long time. Probably not since she got him his iPod at his last birthday.
She forced the negative thought away. They were here. They'd get through this, and she'd figure out whatâif anythingâto do about Max later.
Her eyes darted to where he stood a respectful distance away from the group, giving the parents space to say their goodbyes, and then flicked to the ground as his gaze met hers. Right now, her secret was safe, and Cody was in a good position to do what he needed to do. That was what mattered the most. The rest would just have to wait.
Max would just have to wait.
Chapter Three
E
mma poured herself what had to be her fourth cup of tea in the past two hoursâand still, her headache had yet to abandon ship. She settled back against the throw pillows on her mother's couch, then adjusted positions as a knotted tassel dug into her spine. She'd hated those pillows growing up. Still did.
Her mom sat across the coffee table from her in a straight-back chair, one sandal-clad foot bouncing an easy rhythm over her crossed leg. Her softly curled brown hair was cut the same, maybe a little shorter. The wrinkles under her eyes were new. Then again, the bags under Emma's eyes were relatively new as well, thanks to Cody.
“Camp Hope is a quality facility, Emma. Cody will be fine.” Her mother paused as she took a sip from her teacup. “It will be good for him to get out of Dallas for a while.”
“I know. You're right.” But she heard what her mom wasn't saying.
You should have brought him here more often
. And maybe she should have. But she'd made her choices, and they worked for them. Or at least, they had worked until Cody cannonballed off the deep end.
Besides, it wasn't as if she kept Cody from his grandmother. Her mom came and stayed with them in the city multiple times during the year, shopping, dining out and enjoying spa days at Emma's expense. She didn't mind pampering her motherâher father never did growing up, and her mom definitely deserved it.
Mom just never understood why Emma kept her secrets to herself.
“Will you still be in town for Thanksgiving?” Her mother's tone was even, controlled, so much so that Emma couldn't decipher the meaning behind the words. Did she want them to stay? Was that hope hidden? Or resignation of the inevitable inconvenience?
“I guess it depends on the program and Cody's graduation.” She rolled in her lip. Thanksgiving. Seemed aeons away, though it was only about a month. “If Cody graduates then we should be able to join you. Or you could follow us to Dallas and we could get together there.” If he didn't graduate...then Cody would go to juvie? Would the judge give him another chance? Would Cody stay out of trouble long enough to make it through the holidays?
She'd heard the tone of voice the judge had used when he'd pulled her aside privately after the hearing. “I know this is hard on you,” he'd said. “Especially as a counselor. So I'm playing this straight with youâCamp Hope is Cody's last chance before serious repercussions. He's on a bad road, Ms. Shaver, and the people he's keeping company with are on a worse one.”
Like she didn't already know.
But hearing it from an official's mouth, from someone who had the authority to put her son in some form of teen confinement, made the slap of reality sting all the more.
Cody
had
to get through this program.
Emma set her teacup on the coffee table, emotion clogging her throat, and stood as her mother wisely remained silent. Adrenaline raced against exhaustion in a never-ending marathon. This was so messed up. She should be planning what to get her son for Christmas, not wondering if he'd even be home on December 25.
She moved to the lace-covered front window, admiring the sunset and soaking in the peace it offered as she ran her fingers over the worn edges of the curtains. They hadn't changed, either. But then again, her mom didn't have any more money now than she did when Daddy was alive.
She closed her eyes, breathing in the musty, familiar smell of the house of her childhood. She hadn't been home since the funeral a few years ago. Even then, she'd kept to herself, rigid in the corner with a sandwich tray, feigning a smile and hoping Broken Bend didn't stain her any further than it already had. She'd left after convincing her mom to come stay with them in Dallas. She hadâand after two weeks' worth of facials, manicures and new outfits, her mother went home.
While Emma went back to doing what she did bestâfixing everyone else's kids.
“We need dessert.” The chair squeaked as her mom stood. “You want a cookie? Homemade oatmeal raisin.”
She'd barely touched her dinner at the ranch, but comfort food sounded good. She accepted the plate her mother brought back from the kitchen and plucked a cookie from the top. Crumbly, just the way she liked them. She settled back on the couch, catching the crumbs with her hand. “You always made the best cookies, Mom.”
She smiled at the compliment. “You look like you need about ten more of them. I thought Dallas had all the best restaurants.”
“It does. We love eating out in the city. It's just...” Just what? She was too stressed lately to eat? Too consumed with Cody's issues to take care of herself? She wasn't avoiding food. It just seemed so irrelevant compared to the bigger things going on in their life.
She intentionally took another cookie. “The campers and parents all ate together at Camp Hope earlier. I was really impressed with the way Max handled himself.” Shocked, too, but that detail wasn't worth mentioning.
Her mother bit into her cookie, dusting crumbs from her pants onto the floor. “It wasn't awkward, then?”
A raisin stuck in her throat, and Emma coughed, half choking as the raisin made a painful descent. “Noâno, why would it be?” Did she know? After all this time, all the planning, all the carefully laid out details, her mother
knew?
“Didn't you hang out with him in high school a few times? When you were friends with what's-her-name...Laura. That Laura girl, with the hair that came all the way to her bottom end.” Her mom gestured with her cookie.
Laura. The friend she used as an excuse when she decided to go out with Max. Emma winced. Laura existed, but the friendship wasn't nearly what she'd implied back then. She couldn't lie nowâbut she couldn't totally evade the question, either, or her mom would grow even more curious.
She sipped her tea until her throat stopped burning from the coughing fit, then set the cup casually back on the table. “Yeah, I know Max. But it wasn't awkward.” Awkward didn't even begin to cut it.
Her mom tilted her head. “I wonder what happened to Laura. She seemed like a good kid. Maybe a little misguided, though.”
Good grief. Emma's parents had been more sheltered than she thought. She knew she'd covered her tracks during her rebellious streak after senior year, but she hadn't known she'd been
that
good. Laura was never without a cigarette in hand, even in the Broken Bend Church of Grace parking lot, and the stories of Laura's weekend activities filled the chairs at the hair salon more than once. But that's what happened when your father was a deacon and your mother taught Sunday schoolânot a lot of privacy, and a whole heap of judgment. Emma never knew for sure how she managed to get away with such a friend, but when compared to Max, Laura was a downright goody-goody.
“I think she moved away.” Like they all had, with their heads lowered in shame. Except for Max. Of all of them that hung out together that fateful summer, Max had been the one to stay and shape up his life. Talk about ironic.
She shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She couldn't let the same thing happen to Cody, couldn't let a season of bad choices ruin his lifeâor at least alter it forever. She couldn't honestly say her own scarlet letter had
ruined
her life, but it'd definitely changed it. And left a permanent mark.
Cody deserved better. He had to take control now, before things spiraled out of everyone's control. The judge was giving him a second chance at the right path, and if he didn't take it, they'd all be roaming in the wilderness.
She couldn't do that againâeven if she deserved it.
Her mom sighed and ran her finger over the handle of her teacup. “I'll never understand why you all wanted to get out of Broken Bend so badly. There's something to be said for home, you know.”
Emma smiled and nodded, ignoring the tassel once again poking her in the back. Yes, there was.
But there was a lot more to be said for leaving.
* * *
Max hadn't felt the urge to leave in a long time. But watching Nicole double over with her second contraction in the past two minutes made him want to turn his back on Broken Bend and bolt for the hills.
She turned wary eyes on him, as if somehow this whole situation were his fault, and braced both hands against her back. The morning sun shining behind her through the open barn doors served as a spotlight for her distorted silhouette. “Don't even say it.”
“I wasn't going to say anything.” Max didn't know much about expectant women, but he knew enough to be quiet. About, well, everythingâespecially the particularly bad timing of this event. He was supposed to have a monthâfour weeks. An entire camp. This changed everything.
What was he going to do?
But it changed a lot more for Nicole, so he wouldn't dare address it. He took two steps backward, out of the barn. So much for their morning trail ride. “I'll get Luke.”
“I'm here.” Luke rushed up behind him, boots clomping on the dirt-packed floor, sending several horses jerking their heads in aggravation at the interruption. “I was just getting the horses saddled outside when Stacy told me what happened.” He rushed to Nicole's side. “Are you okay?”
“I'm having a baby. I'm great.” She wiped tears from the corners of her eyes, laughed and then winced as what had to be another contraction crumpled her expression. “No. Not great. They're getting closer together, and stronger.”
“So, I guess we're not going riding.”
Max turned. Stacy, his oldest camper, a seventeen-year-old with curly blond hair, crossed her arms in the center of the barn aisle. The question in her voice held more than a bit of amusement, and even a punch of satisfaction. Something along the tune of
I dare you to try to fix me now. You can't even run your own camp.
He'd heard that tone before, and there was only one solution. Denial. “Of course we're still going riding.” He cleared his throat and lowered his voice an octave to show authority. “Luke will take Nicole to the hospital, and we'll saddle up as planned. Tell the others.”
Stacy rolled her eyes but thankfully turned to obey.
Good enough for now. One hormonal woman at a time, and the one standing in front of him took first priority. He focused on Nicole, who was still alternating deep breaths with winces of pain as she waddled toward the back door of the barnâthe one closest to the female dorms.
It was official. He was about to be one chaperone short of a camp. And with his other counselor, Faith, working only part-time since she had young children of her own, he now had no one to stay overnight with the female campers.
God, I need a plan here
.
And uh, Nicole needs a doctor.
Looked like her baby would be four weeks early, unless they were able to stop the labor at the hospital. And even then, he knew enough to understand she'd likely be on full bed rest until the baby came. He swallowed his dismay. “You want me to call 9-1-1?”
Luke stopped as he caught up to Nicole and turned, shaking his head. “Her suitcase is ready. We'll just grab it and head that way. I'll call you if we need anything.” He started to say more, then stopped as Nicole clutched his arm. “See you later, man.” He ushered her away, and just like that, Max was left in a bind.
He breathed a prayer for safety for the baby and Nicole both, added one for sanity for Luke, and then headed into the sunlight to face ten campers.
Alone.
Make that another prayer of sanity for himself.
He forced a smile and took a deep breath as he faced his campers, some standing with concerned expressions, others feigningâor perhaps truly feelingâdisinterest.
“So there's been some excitement here on your first day.” He laughed, then cut it short when it sounded as awkward as it felt. “Nicole will beâuh, indisposedâfor the rest of this camp session. For good reason, of course. I know she wishes she could be here with you guys. And girls.”
Great. Now he was stumbling all over himself, and the kids just stared at him, expecting answers, and he had none to give. He rolled in his lower lip. “Don't worry, I'm working on a replacement now.” Or at least, he hoped God was, because he had zero ideas. Luke and Nicole had been his right hands bringing this camp together the past year, and now he was short. Leaving him handicapped and near panic.
His mind raced. He still had Faith, who would be there later that afternoon; Tim, the middle-aged chaplain who also acted as dorm leader and could stay with the guys overnight; and two college kids who served as activity chaperones as needed on a part-time basis. He could see if they'd offer a few more hours, maybe bribe them with gift cards to stay the night here and there to assist Tim. And if Nicole was able to stay on bed rest, then maybe Luke would still come do a few stints as much as he could until she actually had the baby.
He nodded slowly, trying not to panic. He could do thisâbut not without another female counselor. Someone from the church, maybe? They'd be willing to volunteer, at least, for the ministry angle. But who was qualified to do it? He didn't just need a babysitter, he needed someone who could interact with these kids and
reach
them. Someone like Luke and Tim, who understood the guys, knew how to talk to them. Could love them without letting them get away with stuff.
His eyes landed on Cody, who seemed to be avoiding what was going on as he rubbed a black mare under her chin. Mental noteâthe boy liked animals. Just like Emma always had. He wondered briefly what other interests he shared with his momâ
Emma.
He swallowed as an idea lodged in his mind and refused to budge. Emma, with her child psychology degree. Emma, who was staying nearby at her mother's and had nothing to do until Cody graduated the camp in a month.
Emma, who'd been the only other person at the table to speak up during the teens' impromptu concert and showed ability to handle this group of unpredictable, miniature adults.