Love Inspired January 2016, Box Set 1 of 2 (16 page)

Chloe felt taken aback by her comment, then, as she thought about it, she understood what Mamie was saying. “I might. It hasn't been easy for me, either, knowing that my father couldn't seem to keep his ranch together. And then me getting a divorce and losing my job.” She sighed, trying not to let the despair that hung over her like a cloud darken her perspective. “Maybe I tried to protect myself, as well.”

“Of course you have,” Mamie said, giving her hands a gentle shake. “But these events are not what define you. These are things that happened to you. These things are not you. You have much to give my grandson. I want you to think about that, as well. And I want you to know that you can trust him with your heart and with that baby you're carrying.”

Chloe gave her a half smile. “Thanks for the encouragement.” She gave into an impulse and brushed a light kiss over Mamie's cheek. “Thank you for everything.”

She got up, picked up Cody and brought him to the porch to get him ready. She needed to get outside and get some fresh air.

Then she needed to figure out what her next step was.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

G
rady got out of Ben's truck, then ducked his head against the snow that had started up again just as he'd pulled into the yard. The meeting had dragged on far longer than it had needed to. After what Lucy had hinted at, he'd wanted to leave right away and return to the ranch to talk to Chloe.

But Byron had kept saying how Lucy was dragging her heels and had grilled Grady on the background of the people working at Stillwater Ranch. He had dropped many a broad hint about the lack of thefts from their ranch. Grady had had a hard time not losing his patience. It was only because Lucy had voiced the same concerns that he'd given Byron the information he had. But it bothered him that people were suspecting employees he had known for so many years. People his brother trusted implicitly.

Then the money had brought out another round of protests from Lenora Woods, who'd seemed to think that if anyone needed help it was her, not some single girl who could take care of herself. Byron kept calling for Lucy's resignation. It was tiring and Grady had forgotten what a blowhard Byron could be.

Carson had managed to rein Byron in and they'd finally gotten through the agenda. But throughout the meeting Grady had kept thinking about what Lucy had said.

He made his way into the house, torn between hurrying and making sure he didn't fall again. His leg was getting sore again, but he didn't want to dwell on that. He needed to find Chloe. To figure out what Lucy was talking about.

Don't let her get away from you
.

You're not the only one with pride.

Lucy's words had spun around his head all the way home. The smile she'd given him had ignited a tiny spark of hope.

Once inside he shucked his coat, inhaling the scent of cookies, his growling stomach reminding him he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. He followed his nose to the kitchen, hoping that Chloe would be there. As he wolfed down a couple of cookies, he listened. But the house was silent.

He heard a vehicle pull up and he hurried to the door just as his grandmother came inside.

“Do you know where Chloe and Cody are?” Grady asked.

His grandmother shook her head as she unwound a thick scarf from around her neck, stamping off the snow from her boots. “No. I've been gone for an hour or so. She said she was taking Cody for a walk. She left the same time I did. She isn't back yet?” Mamie's voice took on an edge that added to Grady's concern.

“No. She's not.” Grady pulled back, analyzing. Breaking things down. “I'll go check at the barns. She might be there.”

He slipped his coat back on, dropped his hat on his head and grabbed his gloves.

“Do you want me to come?” his grandmother asked, worry lacing her voice.

“No. I'm sure it's fine,” Grady said, not wanting to add to her concern.
One step at a time
, he told himself.
First plan A. Check the barn.

He tugged on his gloves, wrapping a scarf around his neck to cut the wind that he heard picking up.

He walked carefully across the yard to the barn, ducking his head against the icy wind. As the snow hit his cheeks he hoped they weren't in for another storm.

But all was quiet in the barn. Just to make sure, he hurried down the alley. Sweetpea whinnied at him as he went past. Babe and Shiloh just watched him go.

Grady's heart turned in his chest. Chloe and Cody weren't here. They weren't in the house. Then, where would they have gone for so long? He tried to call her on her cell phone but didn't receive an answer. He guessed she was in a place with poor reception or her battery was dead. Either way, he had no idea where she could be.

He tried to settle his growing concern. Think. Analyze.

He remembered his grandmother saying the last time Chloe had taken Cody out it was for a ride in his sled toward the south ridge. But how far had they gone? He didn't dare walk on this ice.

No one was around to help and his grandmother couldn't do anything. He had to go find her, but how?

He'd have to saddle up one of the horses.

He found a halter and headed out into the pasture. Thankfully the horses had just been fed and were standing around the hay bale that one of the hands had given them. It took some awkward maneuvering, but he finally caught Apollo, one of the quieter horses, and led him back to the barn where the tack room was located. Once inside, he faced another obstacle trying to saddle up the horse on his own. He hadn't done it since he'd been back and he knew he was wasting valuable time trying to manage. So he swallowed his pride and hurried to the house as quickly as he dared.

His leg was aching by the time he got back to the house.

“Grandma! I need your help,” he called out, sticking his head in the door.

“I'm right here.” She appeared immediately. “What do you need?”

“Help with the horse. I'm going out to find Chloe and Cody.”

Mamie grabbed her coat and shoved her feet into her boots, then headed out.

But she was faster than he was and while he tried to keep up, he was afraid of falling and injuring himself. He would be no good to Chloe if he was flat on his back.

Mamie looked behind her then, came back, tucked her shoulder under his arm and helped him to the barn. Once again he had to fight down his innate sense of independence, thankful that it helped him move just a bit faster.

He and Mamie got Apollo saddled up in record time. He kept telling himself not to panic. Chloe had probably just gone farther than usual and once the wind started up, decided to head back. She wasn't reckless. She was careful.

She was alone.

“You haven't lost your touch,” Grady said as he tightened up the cinch, making sure all was snug and secure.

“Like riding a bike.” Mamie took the horse's bridle and started leading him away.

“Where are you going?” Grady asked, grabbing his crutch and stumbling along behind her.

“You can't climb up on that horse on your own,” Grandma said, leading him to the box they had used when Grady and Ben were youngsters.

Grady almost balked, but he couldn't get all puffed up now. Too much was at stake.

So he took the steps one at a time, then climbed on the horse. Without a word Mamie carefully lifted his injured leg and slipped his foot into the stirrup, then she slipped the reins over Apollo's head and handed them to Grady.

“Ride safe,” she said. “Please find them. I'll be praying for you.”

“While you're praying, call Clint Daniels and Finn. We could use their expertise. And call Emilio and a couple of the other boys, as well.”

She nodded as she walked ahead of him to the entrance of the barn. She opened the door and he rode out into the blowing snow.

* * *

Chloe trudged along the packed trail she had walked along down in the draw, pulling Cody on the sled, her mind weighing and measuring what Mamie had told her.

Part of her didn't dare cling to the hope Mamie's words had kindled. Her sense of self-preservation had been honed while living with Jeremy and afterward.

But the part of her that had always yearned for Grady, that had cherished every moment they spent together the past few weeks, greedily latched on to the tiniest crumbs.

“What do you think, Cody?” she asked the little boy, who was sitting like a little mummy on the sled behind her. “Do you think I should tell Grady about my baby? Do you think I should take that chance?”

Cody just sat there grinning at her, his cheeks rosy and his eyes bright.

“You are so adorable,” she said, laughing in spite of herself. “You don't even care that your daddy is in a coma and you have no clue who your momma is, do you? As long as you're taken care of it doesn't matter. Maybe I need to be more like you. Just trust that God will take care of me, whatever shape that takes.”

Cody waved his mittened hands as if agreeing with her, barely able to move in the restrictive snowsuit, his stocking cap shifting down and covering his eyes. Chloe stopped and gently pushed it back up, squatting down and checking if he was warm enough.

“I just wish I knew what to do,” she said, brushing some snow off his snowsuit. “Mamie said I could trust Grady, but part of me wants to let him remember me as this supposedly pure and innocent person.”

He would find out the truth soon enough, but by that time she probably would be gone.

She stood and the wind, gusting now, pulled her scarf away from her neck. It seemed the storm was picking up. Down in the draw the sound was muffled, but she knew she would have to go up that hill sooner or later.

Today she had gone farther than she usually did, and now it sounded as if the bad weather they had predicted for tomorrow was coming sooner than expected. She started looking for the path up the hill. Another blast of wind tossed snow at her and she wrapped her scarf closer around her, now feeling irresponsible for taking Cody so far.

She stepped up her pace and looked around to make sure Cody was okay. Then she turned just as she hit an icy patch. Her feet slipped and she tried to catch her balance. Her foot hit a root, rolled onto its side, and she collapsed into the snow in an ungainly heap. Thankfully she kept hold of the rope pulling Cody's sled, but as she tried to get up, searing pain shot through her ankle and up into her leg.

Chloe's heart sank as she dropped into the snow again, riding out the wave of pain.

She sucked in a breath, then another as it subsided into a dull, steady throb.

Wrenched for sure, maybe sprained.

She had a good fifteen-minute walk ahead of her, and she had to get up to the top of the hill yet.

Dread clutched her as another gust of icy wind howled down the gully. On top she and Cody would be out in the open, but she couldn't stay here. If someone went out looking for her, they wouldn't find her.

“Stupid, stupid,” she muttered, feeling silly, irresponsible and frightened.

“We're going to be okay,” Chloe murmured, as much to herself as to the little boy in the sled. “We'll be okay.”

Please, Lord, help me be okay. Help me and Cody to make it out of here. Give me strength to get us home.

She tried not to let desperation pull her down as the wind whistled around her. She pulled her scarf off and wrapped it around the baby's face for extra protection against the wind. All she could see were his bright eyes and, thankfully, he seemed fine. She glanced around, looking for a stick she could use to walk with.

There. To her left. A branch lay half-covered in snow. She clenched her teeth against a wave of pain shooting up from her ankle as she took another hesitant step toward it, then a hop, then a step. Each movement made it feel as if glass was imbedded in her leg. After what seemed like ages, she made it to where the branch was. She pulled it loose from the snow, whimpering as she lost her balance and landed on her sore ankle. She had to think of Grady with each wave of pain, knowing that he dealt with this all the time, surprised it didn't make him grumpy or miserable.

Looping the rope from the sled around one arm, Chloe used the branch to make her clumsy way up the hill. Each time she slipped, the weight of the sled pulled her back. Slowly, slowly she made her way up, dragging the sled behind her. She stopped a couple of times to make sure Cody wasn't toppling off, but he was okay.

After what seemed like hours, she made it to the top of the hill. She sat down, rested a moment, thankful for one small victory. In spite of the chilly wind and biting snow, she was sweating with exertion. Not good, she thought, as she was now exposed and so was Cody.

But he was covered and she knew she couldn't get to the ranch carrying him. She would just have to keep going. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and felt another stab of dismay. No service.

Help me, Lord
, she prayed, shoving her phone back in her pocket. She got up, grabbed her stick and started hobbling toward the ranch, her head down against the slanting snow. All she could do was take one step. Then another.

And keep praying.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

G
rady squinted into the blowing snow, wishing he could see better. The track he had been following was getting snowed in but so far it looked as if Chloe had stayed on this trail. Hopefully she hadn't veered off. The sun was going down. In an hour or so it would be dark.

And then what?

He didn't want to think about that. All he could think about was Chloe and Cody and getting to them and returning them home.

He leaned forward, ignoring the pain in his leg as minor compared to the fear that gripped his heart. It was getting colder. How long would Chloe and Cody last in this weather if he didn't find them?

As he rode, he thought of other missions he'd been on that didn't end well. He pushed those thoughts back. He couldn't think of that. He reminded himself that each time he went out it was with success in mind.

Please, Lord...

His prayer was simple, a cry from his heart.

He didn't know why Chloe had pulled herself back from him. Didn't know why she was avoiding him.

He should have fought for her.

Don't let her get away from you.

Lucy's words spurred him on and he nudged Apollo in the ribs, ignoring the pain in his leg.

Cowboy up, his father had always told Grady and Ben when things got tough and they wanted to quit. Those words were exactly appropriate now.

Please, Lord...

His horse lifted his head, as if sensing something. Grady peered through the now-driving snow, seeing nothing. But if there was one thing he had learned when riding horses in uncertain situations: trust the horse. Pay attention to its body language.

Apollo's ears pricked forward and he slowed. A horse's first reflex was flight so it made sense that, if he saw something, he would slow down. The horse whinnied softly and then he heard a yell.

“Help! Please, help!”

Chloe.

Thank You, Lord.

Grady nudged his horse in the ribs, leaning to one side, favoring his good leg as he tried to look through the driving snow. “Chloe? Where are you?” He still couldn't see her.

“I'm here.”

He tried to follow her voice then saw a darker form that eventually took shape. Chloe, leaning against a tree, Cody in the sled behind her.

“Please, help us.”

“I'm here,” Grady said. “I'm here.”

He rode closer and relief spread like warm honey through his veins when he saw Cody waving his arms. Chloe stood, then faltered.

“Are you okay?”

“I sprained my ankle,” she said, pain lacing her voice. “Cody's okay, though.”

Grady looked from Cody to her, thinking.

“Do you think you can get on the horse?”

“Just get Cody home, I'll get there eventually.”

“Not a chance. Hand him to me,” Grady said, not daring to get off the horse himself. He knew he couldn't get back on the horse or make his way back without his crutch. “I want you to try to climb on.”

Chloe simply nodded, and pulled the sled closer, tugged her mittens off and unbuckling the strap that held the baby in. It took a few moments longer than normal, then she handed Cody up to him.

Grady shifted Cody to one arm and held out his hand to her and kicked his one foot out of the stirrup. “This will hurt, no matter which foot you use, but you can do it. Put your foot in the stirrup, hang on to the horn of the saddle and climb on.”

She bit her lip but then nodded, clearly not seeing another way around this predicament. Grady shifted himself as far back in the saddle as he could. She wouldn't be able to swing her leg around, which meant he had to let go of the reins as she clambered on. Hopefully Apollo would behave and not try anything funny.

It took a couple of tries, but finally Chloe was settled in front of him on the saddle, Cody in her arms. She had the presence of mind to lean forward and grab the reins. Grady reached around her and took them in his hands, thankful that the wind was now in their back. As Apollo started walking it felt as if the storm had eased off.

“How's your ankle?” Grady asked, shifting so there was enough room, wincing even as he did so.

“It hurts. How's your leg?”

“It hurts, too.”

“Is Cody okay?”

“His hands are toasty warm and so is his head. He's fine.”

They rode in silence for a while. The wind that had tossed snow at him and whistled around his ears seemed quieter now that it was behind them. The forest looked peaceful with the snow falling down around them.

Chloe shifted, tossing a look over her shoulder. “Thanks for coming to get me. I shouldn't have gone out. It was risky.”

“You didn't know the storm was coming as soon as it did. And you didn't know you would sprain your ankle.” He held the reins in one hand as he lifted the collar of his coat, protecting his neck from the snow. “It wasn't your fault.”

Chloe said nothing and the questions haunting him circled his brain like ravens.

Ask her why she avoided you. Ask her if your disability is a problem.

But asking the question would make him vulnerable, and he thought of his father and what he went through after his injury. How his mother hadn't been able to handle it. Couldn't deal.

But was Chloe the same?

Somehow, even as he examined the question, he sensed he was giving her short shrift. And having Chloe in his arms felt so good, so right. It was such a stark reminder of what he had been missing. And now that they were alone, he realized how foolish it was to go on acting as if nothing had happened.

Don't let her get away from you.

He had to know.

“Why did you—”

“I need to tell you—”

They both spoke at once, then stopped.

Grady laughed lightly, the awkwardness plaguing both of them apparent in how Chloe hunched her shoulders, how stiffly he held the reins.

He loosened his grip, which meant he was holding Chloe even closer. He could feel her relax against him. He felt a renewed surge of hope.

“What happened, Chloe?” he asked, putting himself out there, making himself vulnerable. “When you turned away from me after we spent that afternoon in the barn. Was it because I fell? Because you were reminded of how less of a man I am?

“What are you talking about?” The question burst out of Chloe. “Is that what you think? That's crazy. Why would you think that?” Her back stiffened as if underlining her reaction to his questions. He wished he could see her face, but he could only keep talking, hoping she understood what he was saying.

“I'm sorry, but it's just that my mother left my father after his accident. She couldn't live with him. Vanessa kept harping how my disability was a problem she was willing to overlook. Guess I'm just a bit sensitive.”

“You're not...not less of a man. That's a ridiculous thing to think. I don't know why you would even entertain the idea that I'm that...shallow, unfeeling, and I don't appreciate being compared to Vanessa.”

Her chagrin both surprised him and fanned the tiny spark of hope Lucy's comments had created.

“I wasn't comparing, just thinking—”

“That's good, because your mom was wrong to leave, and I'm nothing like Vanessa. I care about you, a lot, and I thought I was...”

“Was what?” he prompted.

But she said nothing. Yet he felt as if she had been on the verge of saying something he wanted to hear.

“I'm sorry,” he said, still trying to absorb this angry version of Chloe. “I just thought...after I fell on the ice, that's when you pulled away. If it wasn't what I thought it was, then why?”

She looked down, fussing with Cody's stocking cap, shifting him on her lap, as if putting off her reply. His horse plodded along, picking his way over the icy patches, and Grady hoped and prayed he wouldn't stumble. He was carrying a precarious load.

“Why then?” he urged, sensing that something else was coming. He hoped he was ready.

She pulled in a breath, her shoulders tensing.

“I'm pregnant,” she said.

“What?”

“I'm pregnant. Jeremy is the father.”

Grady tried to absorb this information, tried to figure out where to put it in his mind.

“So when is the baby due?”

“I'm not quite five months. Our marriage was stumbling along,” she said, her voice quiet as if she hardly dared let the information leave her. “But I had made promises and wanted to be faithful. Then I got pregnant. Jeremy never wanted children. He got angry and filed for divorce. He had a judge who was a good friend and managed to get it done extraquick. After that he disappeared. I haven't been able to track him down to discuss child support. I was on my own.” Grady had to bend closer to Chloe to hear what she was saying, and each word was like a small blow. Unsettling and surprising at the same time.

“He said he didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. That's why he wanted the divorce. So when you said what you did about Cody... I thought...I thought you would feel the same way, especially because this baby isn't yours the same way Cody isn't.”

Her voice broke on the last words and Grady's heart plunged. He felt so bad for her obvious distress and he wrapped one arm more tightly around her, trying to find the right words to say what was spinning through his mind. Yes, he was confused and yes, this was a shock, but for her to think he wouldn't want to have anything to do with her baby?

Chloe took in a shaky breath, which made him feel even worse for her. She was clearly upset, and that bothered him even more than it did to find out she was pregnant.

“Why would you think I would feel the same way that Jeremy did?”

“Because of what you said about Cody. Just before you fell. But it was what you said that made me pull away from you. Not you falling.”

Grady skipped back, trying to remember. “I'm sorry. I can't remember.”

“You said...you said that you didn't want to think of starting a relationship with the responsibility of a child. You said that was heavy.”

“I said that? About Cody?” Grady tried to catch up as he realized what she was referring to.

She nodded, reaching up to swipe at her cheeks with a gloved hand.

Grady's heart melted at the thought of her tears and he cradled her even closer. He wished he could see her face. Wished he could tip her chin up to look into her eyes, wished she could see the sincerity in his own. “What I said was referring to the fact that Cody had a mother we knew nothing about. That he was dumped on my grandmother's doorstep without any notice. It was the mess that came with it. Vanessa, my brother in a coma. I was referring to that. The responsibility of that. The heaviness of all that.” He struggled, wishing, hoping he was making himself clear. Because he felt as if he and Chloe were balancing on the edge of something large and life changing, and the right or wrong words could send him in either direction. And he knew he couldn't hold back any longer.

He leaned closer, pressing his cheek to hers. “I don't know if you're ready to hear this or not, but I have to tell you how much I care about you. I've been miserable the past few days, and it isn't just because my leg's been bugging me. My heart's been bugging me more. I missed you and I hope you missed me.” He took in a breath, sent up a prayer, then said, “I love you. I want you in my life no matter what happens.”

In spite of the movement of the horse, Chloe suddenly became perfectly still. He heard her draw in a shaky breath and he wondered if he had spoken too soon. He shifted a bit to try to see her, but her face, this close in his peripheral vision, was a blur. He couldn't read her expression or guess what she was thinking.

“Oh, Grady,” she whispered, bringing one gloved hand up to his face. “I can't believe I'm hearing this. It's so much.” She released a light laugh and he could feel her cheek lift in a smile. “I have to say I've been miserable without you, as well. I missed you so much.” She pulled in another breath. “And I love you, too.”

Grady's heart felt as if it was going to explode out of his chest. At the same time he felt as if a burdensome, uncomfortable pack had slipped off his back leaving him feel weightless. Free.

“You love me?” He could hardly believe it.

“I love you.”

He wanted to kiss her. But for now he had to content himself with holding her tight with one arm, his cheek pressed to hers, his heart beating against her back.

I love her.

She loves me.

* * *

Chloe wanted to cry, to laugh, to turn and give Grady a hug, but all she could do was press her hand to his cheek, hoping he could feel how her heart sang with a joy she couldn't find words for.

“I shouldn't have assumed” was all she could say. “I should have stayed and talked to you, but I was so afraid.”

“So was I,” he said. Then he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

She lay her head back against him, still holding Cody who, thankfully, sat quietly in her lap. She was about to say something more when a voice called out from the darkness.

“Grady? Is that you?”

Chloe saw a shadowy figure on horseback coming toward them through the falling snow.

“I just got here. All set to head out and rescue you,” Emilio said as he came nearer, sounding disappointed. “Clint is on his way, as well.”

“How far is the ranch?” Chloe asked, squinting through the snow and gathering dusk.

“Only a couple hundred yards ahead,” Emilio said. “You all okay?”

“We're all fine,” Grady said.

“Mamie will be glad to see you. Josh had to hold her back from saddling up and heading out herself,” Emilio said as he turned his horse around, waiting for them to catch up. He glanced down at Cody. “You look overburdened there. You want me to take him?”

“It might be more comfortable for him.” Chloe's one arm was growing tired, holding him up and away from the saddle horn. There was only so much room.