Love Inspired January 2016, Box Set 1 of 2 (7 page)

“Someone just like you,” Eva said with a self-satisfied smile. “I think you're exactly what my cousin needs.”

Chloe's heart twisted at Eva's words. She knew she was starting to like Grady too much. She wished she knew what to do about it.

CHAPTER SIX

“S
mells wonderful in here.” Mamie Stillwater stepped into the kitchen carrying a pile of dish towels that she had just washed and folded.

Chloe set the pan of freshly baked muffins on the counter, smiling at the results. “I thought I would bring some of these out to the hands. I'm sure they miss Martha Rose's cooking.”

“I'm sure they do, though the boys can certainly manage without her until she gets back.” Mamie set the towels in a cupboard beside the pantry and walked to the high chair Chloe had set close to the counter so she could watch Cody while she baked. “He looks tired.”

Cody was rubbing his eyes, a piece of banana stuck to the back of his hand.

Chloe wet a cloth and quickly wiped him down. “He is. I just wanted to finish up here before I put him in bed. Sorry I didn't do it sooner.”

Mamie waved off Chloe's excuses. “Honey, I wasn't trying to criticize you.”

Chloe gave her a tight nod, realizing that her protest was automatic, hearkening back to her life with Jeremy. His constant criticism and harping had made her become overly aware of her shortcomings. It made her angry that he still had some influence on her behavior. She had promised herself she wouldn't be defined by his treatment of her.

Mostly she had kept that promise, but from time to time remnants of her old self returned.

“I can lay him down if you want,” Mamie offered.

“No. I need these muffins to cool anyway.” Chloe shucked her oven mitts and set them neatly aside, then pulled Cody out of his high chair.

A sudden and strong wave of nausea washed over her and she grabbed the edge of the counter to support herself. This was the worst she'd endured yet.

“Are you okay, child?” Mamie asked, suddenly concerned.

Chloe swallowed and swallowed, praying fiercely this would pass.

“Just feeling a little light-headed,” she said as the vertigo receded. “I think I forgot to eat breakfast. And yes, I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. My mom used to tell me that.”

Mamie put the last towel in the cupboard and leaned back, her arms folded. “Do you remember much of your mother?”

“Bits and pieces. I was only ten when she died.”

“That must have been hard for you and your father.”

Chloe shifted Cody in her arms, tucking his warm head into the crook of her neck as her mind sifted back. “It was. My father was adrift without my mother. I think he barely remembered he had a daughter at times.” She shook her head as if dislodging the memories, disliking the self-pity creeping into her voice.

“And then he remarried,” Mamie said.

Chloe held Cody even closer as she recalled that moment when she'd realized Vanessa's mother did not see her as an asset, but rather as a rival for her father's affections. “That wasn't a good situation.” She gave Mamie a wry smile. “Very Cinderella but with only one stepsister. And my dad didn't die. Etta left before that.”

“Can I ask why she left?”

“A number of reasons,” Chloe said, her voice growing hard. “She thought my grandfather would leave my father a boatload of cash, and when he died that was a disappointment. And then my father had his accident. He couldn't give her what she needed. Couldn't provide for her, and he had his injury, and what woman can live like that?” She gave Mamie an arch look, underlining the irony of her comment.

Mamie smiled sadly, clearly understanding what Chloe was saying and her slightly sarcastic inference.

“That can be hard,” she said.

“I'll put this munchkin down and then I'll head out.”

“I'm going to lie down,” Mamie said. “I haven't been feeling well.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” Chloe said, giving her a concerned look. “I can stay in the house if you want.”

Mamie shook her head. “No. Cody will sleep. You go bring those boys some muffins. I'm sure they miss all the fussing they usually get from Martha Rose. I'll be fine.”

Chloe nodded, then left with the little boy, but as she walked up the stairs she felt another wave of nausea and wondered how long she could keep her condition a secret.

And if it was fair to the Stillwaters to do so.

I just need this for a few more months
, she promised herself.
Just until I can figure out what to do and where to go.

The thought clung to her with icy fingers because at the moment she had no idea.

* * *

“That was a short break,” Saul said, looking up from the horse he had just tied to a rail.

“Changed my mind,” Grady said brusquely.

“Thought you said you needed a rest.”

He had. His leg bothered him and while he resented resting it, part of him had been hoping to see Chloe. Until he'd overheard what she said.

...couldn't provide for her, and he had his injury, and what woman can live like that?

Though he didn't know the context of the words, it wasn't hard to infer what she meant, and it underlined his view of himself. Sure, he could take care of someone financially, manage the ranch from a desk like his father had, but that hadn't turned out well for his father, either.

A nasty wind with a bite to it swept through the alleyway, making Grady shiver. The forecast was for unseasonably cold weather. They would have to increase the cows' feed to compensate.

Josh Carpenter, one of the hired hands, led the horse Saul had just worked on back to the pasture. When he saw Grady, he stopped.

“Hey, boss, just wondering if I can take a day off this week?” he asked. “My dad needs my help setting up some surveillance cameras on his place.”

“Has he been hit, too?” Josh's father wasn't even a rancher. He lived on acreage on the edge of town.

“No. He's just getting paranoid that he might. Must have bought seven of those cameras. I tried to tell him that no one would want his old stuff, but to him it's precious.”

“Should be okay.” Emilio and Lucas would be around, so he could certainly spare Josh.

Josh gave him a goofy grin, which puzzled Grady until he realized the hired hand was looking at someone past him. He caught the same whiff of baking he had in the house and from the way his neck prickled he figured Chloe had just arrived.

“Hey, Chloe, good to see you,” Josh said, threading his fingers through the reins of the horse he was still leading in a nervous gesture. He looked somewhat smitten and Grady couldn't blame him. Chloe seemed to have the same effect on him, except he tried a little harder than Josh to hide it.

“Good to see you, too,” Chloe returned, stopping right beside Grady. In one hand she held a plastic bag, in the other a plate of muffins covered in wrap, their warmth creating a cloud of vapor on the covering. “I though you all might enjoy a snack.”

“Just let me bring this cayuse away and I'll be right back,” Josh said with a bright grin.

Though it had been only a couple of hours since breakfast, the smell of the baking made Grady's stomach growl. However, the thought of sitting all cozy and cute sharing some muffins with Chloe after what he had overheard was too difficult.

His mind scrambled to come up with a reason to leave, but then he made the mistake of looking at Chloe, who was smiling at him, her eyes bright and inviting, and he couldn't think of much at all.

“I could use a break,” Saul said, lowering the horse's hoof and straightening. He patted the horse on the rump and walked over to join them. “I think we could set down right here.” He hauled a couple of square bales together, making an impromptu sitting area. “You just set yourself down here, Chloe. Grady, you can drop down here.” He grunted as he pulled over another bale. “And me and Josh can park ourselves right here.”

Grady was now boxed in. Chloe to his right, the piled-up bales to his left and no escape.

He was fairly sure Saul had arranged that on purpose, so with a resigned sigh he sat down.

“So what kind of muffins are they?” Saul asked as he did the same.

“These are carrot pineapple,” Chloe said, handing the muffins to Grady. “Can you unwrap them while I get some plates out for everyone?”

His stomach growled as he carefully took off the plastic, memories assaulting him as he inhaled the scent. His mother in an apron while he and Ben ostensibly helped by cracking eggs, grating carrots but mostly making a nuisance of themselves, he was sure. The warmth of the kitchen, the giggles he and his brother had shared.

His heart hitched as he thought of the fight they'd had before Grady shipped out, his brother's anger at Grady's condemnation of his lifestyle.

“You okay?” Chloe asked, handing out the plates to Saul and Josh, who had quickly rejoined them.

He shook off the sorrowful memory, adding yet another prayer for his brother to come out of his coma. To give them another chance to be together.

“Yeah. I'm okay.” He took a muffin and returned the plate for her to pass around. “These are my favorites.”

“I got the idea from your grandmother,” Chloe said as sat down beside him, the plate of muffins balanced on her lap. “She said you would appreciate them.”

Grady took a bite and sighed. “These are as good as the ones my mom made.” He took another bite, closing his eyes in bliss.

“You look happy,” Chloe said.

He gave her a sidelong glance. “You sound as if that's important to you.”

“It is, because I'm softening you up.”

“Whoa, here comes the favors,” Saul chortled, slapping his knee.

“What do you want?” Grady asked, feeling wary.

“To start physical therapy with you. Tonight. We already did the assessment, but you've been avoiding following through.”

He stopped chewing, the muffin in his mouth suddenly tasting like sawdust.

“Besides, that's why your grandmother hired me,” she continued, her hands folded primly on her lap, her head tilted to one side as if studying and analyzing him.

Her hair glistened in the light and the smile edging her soft lips resurrected a memory of her when they had been in school together. When he'd thought maybe there might be a chance for him.

He pushed that back, along with other dreams he'd had to discard along the way in his life.

“I don't need physical therapy,” he said after swallowing the rest of the muffin. The last thing he wanted was Chloe seeing him more vulnerable than she already had.

“I know you do, and I know it will make a difference for you.”

Grady quickly got to his feet. He didn't want to have this discussion, and he especially didn't want to have it in front of his hired hand and his farrier.

“I can take care of myself,” he muttered, grabbing the crutch from the bale beside him.

Don't hurry, don't hurry
, he told himself as he made his way down the alley of the horse barn.

The last thing he wanted, after that, was to fall down in front of Chloe.

And as he left her words seemed to taunt him.
He had his injury, and what woman can live like that?

* * *

Chloe could only stare as Grady slid the heavy barn door closed behind him, effectively shutting her out.

Suddenly her little bribe seemed rather pathetic and ill thought-out. Had she really thought that waltzing in here with his favorite muffins would make this proud and stubborn man change his mind?

Josh jumped to his feet muttering something about the horses, leaving Chloe behind with a plate of still warm muffins and Saul's quiet company.

“Sorry about that,” Saul said, reaching across the distance between them and covering her hand with his. “Grady hasn't been the same since he came back from Afghanistan. He would never admit it to me, let alone you, but I've known that guy since he was a kid. Always proud and self-sufficient. Always trying to be better than he was. I think he was always trying to make up for Ben's antics. Sometimes I think he took on too much. Joining the army was, I think, his way of bringing honor to the Stillwater name. It became a large part of who he is, and now he can't do that anymore.” Saul leaned forward, stroking his handlebar moustache as he pursed his lips. “I think he sees himself as weak. For someone who has always tried so hard to be strong, this is a difficult thing. Especially with someone like you.”

“What do you mean? Someone like me?”

Saul gave her a wry grin. “You haven't noticed how he acts around you?”

She didn't want to blush, thinking of that moment they had shared in the nursery.

“Doesn't matter,” she said with a decisive note. “He needs to do the exercises or his muscles will pull his bones crooked, and we're looking at potential dysplasia and a host of other complications.” She caught herself, realizing that Saul didn't need to know all that.

“I'm glad you're passionate about this,” Saul said, patting her on the knee. “'Cause I think you will need every ounce of that persistence to get that man to agree. But just remember, he has a lot of pride. If you can find a way to work around that, you'll find a way to get him to agree. And if that doesn't work, just turn on your charm. I know that will be the ticket.”

Chloe gave him a wan smile as she thought of the moments when their glances met and she'd felt an arc of awareness. But with that came a glimmer of sorrow. She wasn't the same innocent girl he had once cared for.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“I
'm going to town today to see Ben,” Grady announced after breakfast the next day. “Would you like to come along, Grandma?”

He thought if he kept himself busy today, he could stay out of Chloe's line of sight. Yesterday, when she corralled him in front of Saul and Josh, he had felt taken off guard. And that wasn't happening again.

Right now she was upstairs, busy with Cody. Even in the kitchen he could hear her singing as she bathed him, her voice as clear and true as it had been in church.

And as appealing.

His grandmother looked up from her breakfast and reluctantly shook her head. “I don't think I will. I didn't sleep well last night.”

“Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that,” Grady said, rethinking his plans. He had counted on his grandmother driving him. He might have to get one of the guys to do it, though he hated to keep them from their work while he visited with Ben.

“Sorry I can't help you, but Chloe can come with you and take Cody along.”

Grady frowned at that. “Why?”

“It would be good for Ben to spend time with his son,” Mamie said, her voice firm, clearly misunderstanding his reluctance.

“You're right,” he conceded. This would solve his transportation problem, but not the proximity problem. It was growing harder and harder to ignore Chloe. Harder and harder not to give in to the attraction he felt around her.

Well, it looked as if they would be spending the next few hours together. He slowly stood, stacking his bowl on his plate when his grandmother stopped him, as she always did.

“Here, let me take that.”

“Grady can manage,” Chloe spoke as she came into the room, Cody on one hip, her arms holding him close to her.

“But he has his crutch,” Mamie protested.

“He can manage,” Chloe said, her voice firm as she set Cody in the high chair and buckled him in.

Grady shot her a frown, wondering what she was up to.

“He doesn't seem to think he needs physical therapy, so I don't think he needs any help, either,” Chloe said. “Clearly, he can take care of himself.”

He grinned as she tossed his words of yesterday back at him. “I guess I can,” he said. He held the plate, balancing it precariously as he limped over to the counter. He had to focus to make sure he didn't drop anything. No way was he making a fool of himself in front of Chloe.

“I'm leaving in a couple of minutes to visit Ben, but I'll need a ride,” Grady said, turning to Chloe. “Would you be able to do that for me? And I was thinking we should take Cody, as well.”

“If you can give me five minutes, I'll be at the front door.”

He nodded, then worked his way down the hallway to his room, thankful it was out of sight of the dining nook. At the door to his room he took a moment to massage his leg. The past couple days the pain had been getting worse. He knew part of it had to do with all the walking around the ranch he'd been doing, checking on the cows, supervising the maintenance of the equipment that happened over the winter months, working with the girls in the Future Ranchers program.

Just do the therapy already.

Grady let the thought linger a moment, still not convinced it would make a difference.

But it won't hurt. And maybe you could go riding again.

Which was a consideration if his brother never came out of the coma.

He couldn't think that. Couldn't allow that to enter his thoughts.

But as he got ready to leave, it nagged at him.

* * *

“Has anyone told you about your brother's progress?” Dr. Searle, the neurologist, stood at the end of Ben's bed. He flipped through Ben's chart before glancing over at Grady and Chloe.

“No. We just got here,” Grady said, looking from the doctor to his brother, who lay just as still as he had the first time Grady had visited. If there had been progress, he couldn't see it.

“We are seeing signs of Ben coming out of the coma,” Dr. Searle said making a note on the chart and putting it back. “Last night he opened his eyes for a few seconds, then again this morning. That may not sound like much, but given how unresponsive he's been, it's significant.”

“So do you know if he'll be...normal?” Grady hated to ask, but he needed to know.

“We have no idea of his mental or physical capacity as of this moment, but we are much more hopeful after the past twenty-four hours.”

“So will he wake up if I talk to him?”

Dr. Searle simply shrugged. “We have no idea, but I think you should talk to him as if he were conscious. Just act normal.”

Grady looked down at Ben, feeling awkward. Talking to someone who didn't talk back still struck him as odd. “I feel kind of foolish doing that,” he muttered.

“Just remember, it's not about you. It's about him,” Dr. Searle said. Then he glanced at Chloe. “And how are you managing?”

“I'm working for the Stillwaters now,” Chloe said, brushing a strand of Cody's hair away from his face.

“I was sorry to hear the hospital let you go. I hope you can eventually find something in your field.”

Chloe just nodded, then looked back at Grady. “I'm thirsty. I'll go grab a coffee so you can talk to him alone.”

Grady shot her a grateful look, thankful for her consideration. She gave him an encouraging smile and left with Dr. Searle. Grady dragged his attention back to his brother.

Ben looked pallid. The weeks spent in the hospital seemed to have shrunken him down. The tubes snaking in and out of him created a panic like an icy fist. What if his brother never fully regained consciousness? What if the angry words Grady had thrown at Ben just before he left were the last memory Grady would have of him?

“I'm sorry.” He touched Ben's shoulder, then grasped it more tightly. “I'm sorry I said what I did. I know I sounded judgmental, but I said what I did because I cared...no, care about you,” he corrected. “You're my brother, and I didn't want to see you throwing your life away. You've always been the only one who gets me, understands me, and I hope you get that I just wanted the best for you.” He stopped there, feeling his throat thicken as he looked down at his brother, once so vital and alive, now seemingly inanimate.

He wondered if he should pray. Though he had enjoyed being in church, he still wasn't sure what to make of God's seemingly erratic answers to prayer. Had God truly been listening, He would have kept his fellow soldiers from being injured.

Would have kept him from being injured.

Yet as he stood by his brother's bed he felt two words rise up.

“Please, Lord” was all he whispered, and as he did, he gazed more intently at his brother, as if waiting for an answer.

But there was no change. No movement, just the steady beep of his heart monitor, the whirring of the IV machine. He could hear the muted chatter of the nurses beyond the ICU. The coming and goings of a hospital.

He should have known.

He stood a moment, looking intently at his brother's eyelids, willing Ben to open his eyes, but when the silence grew more difficult than talking, he started telling Ben about the ranch, the program he'd begun and how well it was going. He brought him up-to-date on the goings on—the thefts and the gifts, puzzling aloud why the Stillwater ranch hadn't been hit.

“Maybe it's because they feel sorry for you,” he said with a light laugh. He chatted a bit more, slowly feeling less and less foolish.

Fifteen minutes later Chloe joined him, Cody still smiling and reaching out to him. “Ah, da, da, da,” he burbled.

“Does he think I'm his dad?” Grady asked, suddenly alarmed.

“No. It's just a sound he makes. Apparently, that and
ah
are one of the first ones they make, so don't panic,” Chloe said with a grin.

“Okay. Just to be clear. There's been enough confusion as to who this baby's father is,” Grady said, relieved.

“I'm sure you're wondering who the mother is.”

Grady looked back at Ben. In spite of his apology, Cody's presence only underlined the erratic and irresponsible life his brother had been living. “I wouldn't even have the vaguest idea,” Grady said. “Ben had so many girlfriends and because I was gone so much I couldn't begin to keep up.”

“In spite of being twins, you're very different,” Chloe said.

“We weren't when we were younger. Dad always called us the Terrible Twos, and I think Mom's hair got grayer after we were born. But things shifted when we hit high school. I got more serious and Ben got wilder.”

“I remember that,” Chloe said, shifting Cody on her hip. “It got easier and easier to tell you two apart because Ben was the one always teasing me.”

Grady just shook his head, not sure he wanted to know what Ben would be teasing Chloe about. “I just hope he knew when to quit.”

“He quit when he got a rise out of me, so I learned to fake some anger or hurt or something so he could laugh and walk away.”

“Was he mean?”

“No. Never mean.” Chloe gave him a shy smile.

Grady held her gaze and his thoughts ticked back to that time. Ben used to tease him as well, telling him that sweet Chloe Miner had a huge crush on him. But she'd never indicated that she did. Then Vanessa had come on to him and they started dating. Which had only lasted a couple months—until graduation. Chloe had moved away after that and he never found out if it was true or not.

“I know he liked to exaggerate,” Grady said. “He seemed to have this idea that you had some kind of crush on me.” He added a laugh, as if to show her that he didn't believe his brother.

To his surprise Chloe blushed.

Was it true?

“What can I say? I was young and impressionable and had a thing for cowboys.” Chloe laughed it off, but Grady felt his own heart quicken at the thought.

He held her gaze, unable to look away, and before any second thoughts could assail him he said, “I wanted to believe my brother, but you never gave me any idea.” His voice was quiet, sincere.

Chloe just stared at him, her blush deepening. But she didn't look away. “I was shy. And Vanessa told me that she liked you and that I better back off. I didn't think I stood any chance against her.”

“You stood more than a chance,” he said. He took a step toward her as if to close the distance between them. However, he didn't shift himself enough to raise his foot properly off the floor and he stumbled. She moved so quickly and caught him so easily, it was as if it hadn't even happened.

Except Grady knew it had and he couldn't stop the flush heating his cheeks.

He knew part of it had to do with the humiliation of almost falling in front of her, but he also knew it had as much to do with Chloe's proximity. The warmth of her arm around his back. The scent of apples that he guessed came from her shampoo. The warmth of her breath on his cheek. He shifted and their eyes met again and it seemed his resolve weakened again. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted by Chloe and her gorgeous green eyes. Her sweet and gentle nature.

He pulled away and moved closer to his brother, resting his hand on his arm, creating a connection between them.

“It must be hard for you,” she said, moving Cody to her other arm. “Seeing your brother like this.”

“Do you think he'll come out of it?”

“I wish I could tell you one way or the other. I'm not a doctor.”

He just nodded, releasing a harsh laugh. “I was just talking to him like you suggested. Apologizing for what I said to him before I left for my last tour.” He tightened his grip on Ben's arm as if hoping by force of will to wake him.

“What did you need to apologize for?”

Grady wasn't sure he wanted her to see him for who he really was, an irate and judgmental man who thought himself better than his brother, but he felt a need to tell someone. And who better than this gentle, caring woman?

“I got angry with him. I told him he was living a life unworthy of the Stillwater name. Told him that he didn't deserve to be a Stillwater. That he had to clean up his life.” As he spoke, Grady heard again the harshness and condemnation he had thrown at his twin.

“What did he say to that?”

Grady caught his brother's limp hand, despairing over how lifeless it felt. How cool to the touch. As if Ben already had one foot in the grave and all it would take was one tiny push—

“He told me I didn't have any right to judge him. Told me that I was turning into a self-righteous jerk who thought he was better than anyone else.” Grady stopped there, the pain of his brother's anger still so fresh.

“Was that the end of the argument?”

Grady nodded. “I walked away from him, got in my truck and left for my base. I shipped out the next day. We haven't talked since then.”

Chloe was silent a moment. “That must be so difficult for you.”

“I just wish I knew how to fix it.” He gave her a sorrowful look. “When we were little we both had bad tempers. Whenever we fought, our parents would walk us through the reconciliation process. Now they're gone and I can't put this on my grandmother.”

“I think you are taking too much on,” she said. “The fact that Cody is here and clearly a Stillwater says something about the life your brother was living.”

Grady felt an instant moment of defensiveness for his brother at her comment, but he relaxed. “I know. He hadn't embraced faith the way I had. My father's accident and my mother's leaving made him turn away from God. Which makes me feel even worse about our fight. The fact that it's unresolved. The fact that I should have been a better example of faith at work.”

“You told him right? That you feel bad?”

Grady released a harsh laugh. “I did. For what it's worth.”

“It's worth a lot. He knows now. And even if his brain can't sort it all out, I am pretty sure he can feel your love. As for his faith, that's in God's hands.” She set Cody down beside Ben on the bed, close enough so he could touch Ben, but not so close that Cody could grab at the many tubes connected to him. “I'm hoping that by bringing Cody to see him, he builds an unconscious attachment to his son.”