Love Inspired January 2016, Box Set 1 of 2 (10 page)

“Okay. Tomorrow morning in the exercise room downstairs. Right after Cody's breakfast.” She'd had the room ready since she had come. Now she could finally use it.

“Sure. I know I've been fighting it, but...whatever.” He shoved his hand through his hair in a gesture of defeat.

“I'll need you to work hard.
Whatever
isn't enough get you through this.”

He looked up at her, then gave her a crooked smile that didn't help her own equilibrium. “I'm sure you'll put me through my paces. I saw you with Babe. I don't think I'd want to cross you.”

“Darn tooting,” she said.

“You were amazing out there,” he said, his smile softening. “I'm suitably impressed. You have a way with horses.”

“I grew up on a ranch, too,” she said, feeling a bit too breathless as an unwelcome perplexity gripped her. She felt as if the world turned in quiet, increasingly smaller circles, with them at the center. Nothing else existed in this moment. She cleared her throat, trying to chase away her confusion. “I was always more of a tomboy than my stepsister.”

“Vanessa has nothing on you, Chloe Miner. And don't let yourself fall into that way of thinking. You're twenty times the woman she is and many others besides.”

Chloe swallowed, his praise creating a flush that chased away the chill that had stung her cheeks only moments ago.

“Let's get these horses some feed and then we can go,” she muttered, feeling as if the breath had been sucked out of her chest.

Stay focused
, she reminded herself.
You'll be spending a lot of time with him. Keep yourself aloof.

But as they dumped hay in the stalls, she ignored the sensible voice and chanced a sidelong glance only to see him looking at her. And for a moment, neither looked away.

* * *

“This silly exercise can't be doing anything,” Grady grumbled as he pushed his thigh over what Chloe called a foam roller. “This isn't even my injured leg and it hurts.”

Chloe had set up some mats downstairs by the exercise equipment Ben had set up at one time. “To make myself buff for the ladies,” he had told Grady when he had asked him about it.

Now it sat there, unusable by both Ben and Grady.

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body,” Chloe joked, kneeling beside him, supervising. “But as for not doing anything, this silly exercise helps loosen the muscles of your outer thigh. Because you tend to favor your injured leg, your other muscles overcompensate and slowly go out of whack.”

Grady stifled a groan as needles of pain stabbed his thigh. “Whack. Is that a technical term?” he ground out.

“It's Greek for messed up.”

Grady couldn't help a responding laugh, which was stifled by another jolt of pain. He had done some physical therapy when he was flown back to the States, but he had cut the program short when he'd found out about his brother. So he had left, promising to follow up.

He certainly hadn't thought the follow-up would involve working with Chloe.

Outside the storm still blew, creating havoc for anyone wanting to drive. Thankfully the mares were safely in the barn. The rest could fend for themselves.

Cody was sleeping and his grandmother, who had been quite tired the past couple of days, said she would take care of him.

At this moment it was just him and Chloe. If it wasn't for the fact that she had her professional face on, he wondered if something else wouldn't be happening.

“Do you think my grandmother is okay? Should we phone someone?” he asked, grunting as he did a few more passes over the roller, trying to distract himself from Chloe's presence. “Do you think we should call a doctor?”

“I think she's just tired,” Chloe said. “I'm no doctor, but from what I can see she's healthy, eating well. Just feeling a bit peaked. It's just as well we're stranded for a few days. It will give her some chance to catch her breath and get some rest.”

“You're a woman of many talents, you know,” he said, flashing her a smile.

To his surprise she blushed. He knew he hadn't imagined the uptick in his own heart rate at the sight. Precisely the thing he had been concerned about when he'd discovered Chloe would be working with him, was happening. His feelings for her were growing with every moment they spent together.

He returned his attention to his exercises, promising himself he would stay focused, and for the next few minutes as Chloe shifted the angle he was working, it was all he could do to work through the pain.

Finally he was done, and as he eased himself off the roller, he lay on his back looking up at the ceiling of the basement rec room, surprised at the sweat beading on his forehead. Though the exercises Chloe had set up for him seemed basic and unchallenging he found himself breathing hard now, heart pounding.

“Congratulations,” Chloe said, handing him a towel and holding out a bottle of water as he sat up. “You've just completed your first round of physical therapy with me.”

“First of how many?” Grady asked, taking a long drink of water.

“That will depend on your progress and how long your grandmother wants me around.”

Grady set the bottle aside and wiped his face, trying not to think about the upcoming sessions. He'd had a hard time being objective around Chloe when every time she had to show him how to position himself he'd been far too aware of her touch. Of the fresh scent of her hair.

She held out her hand to help him up, but he ignored it, struggling to his feet and walking over to the weight bench. Hard not to feel less of a man when you could barely stand on your own.

At one time he'd been the guy other men looked up to. He'd been the guy other guys wanted to be like. A Green Beret.

Now he was reduced to rolling his thigh on a foam roller, the most basic of exercises reducing his muscles to a quivering mass. At one time in his life he could run fifteen miles with a fully loaded backpack. Now a few leg lifts and stretches took everything out of him. He couldn't imagine trying to get on the back of a horse.

The thought gutted him and he pushed it aside. Another time. Another place. Right now he had other priorities.

“It gets better, you know,” Chloe said as he regained his balance and sat down on his brother's weight bench. He needed to rest his tired muscles a moment. “And if it's any consolation, you aren't in as bad a shape as I thought.”

“A minor consolation.” He took another drink and slung the towel around his neck, watching Chloe gather up the equipment. “I know it's late, but thanks again for helping me with the horses yesterday. I couldn't have brought them in without you.”

“I was glad to help,” she said, her smile creating a current of awareness that he had a harder time ignoring each moment they spent together.

“I was glad to have your help, though it kills me to admit it.”

“Why?”

He released a short laugh. “No man likes to admit he needs help.”

“Especially not a Green Beret?” she teased as she set the roller aside. “Don't tell me that you did all your missions on your own. Solo. By yourself.”

“No. Of course not.”

“You were part of a team and each member had their own strengths. You depended on each other.”

“Yeah. We were a team.”

“I think that's what life is all about,” she said, folding the towel he had just used and laying it in the laundry basket. “Helping each other. Leaning on each other.”

He said nothing at that, trying to put what she said into his own life.

“I can tell you don't believe me,” she continued.

He sighed, then turned to her, feeling that since she had seen many of his weaknesses the past few days, what did he have to lose by showing a few more?

“It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that it's hard for me to see myself as less than who I used to be.”

“Why less?”

“I'm not the same man. I used to be able to do so much more. I feel as if I lost part of myself. Part of who I was proud of.”

“Well, you know the old saying, ‘Pride goeth before a fall.' And I'm sure you've had enough of those, as well.”

In spite of himself, he laughed at her gentle teasing. “And will probably have more, so I guess I better get used to swallowing. My pride, that is.”

Chloe laughed at that, as well.

“I have to ask, do you think I'll be able to ride a horse again?”

“Of course you will,” she said. “Once you get your muscles working the way they're supposed to and you've got some more strength in your leg. No reason at all. In fact, riding will be good therapy for you. Your muscles are always working.”

“So you rode a lot?”

“I loved riding.”

“How many horses did your father have?” he asked.

“Only four. Mostly for pleasure riding. Dad used an ATV to round up the cows. Not much of a cowboy purist.”

“Plus his land is flatter, which made it easier to get around with one of those,” he said. “So what is happening to your father's ranch?”

“It's sold now. Clark and Jane Cutter bought it.”

“That's too bad. He didn't want to will it to you?”

“There was nothing left to will. Dad owed too many people too much money. Left a few hanging.”

The short tone in her voice made him realize a few more things were going on that she seemed reluctant to share.

“I'm sorry. I didn't know.” He watched her, suddenly remembering the exchange between her and the farrier.

“Saul knew your father, didn't he?”

Chloe nodded, folding up the last of the towels she had used. “He was an old friend of the family.”

“What did he mean when he said that he was sorry? About the funeral?”

Chloe's hands slowed, her brow furrowed, and Grady guessed he had strayed into territory she didn't want to follow.

“I'm sorry,” he said, tossing the empty bottle of water into a bin. “I shouldn't be so nosy.”

“No. It's fine,” she said, her voice quiet. “Saul and my father had a huge fight just before my father died. Knowing Saul, I'm fairly sure it was about my father's drinking.”

Grady heard the shame in her voice and wanted to console her somehow. “That must have been hard for you. Not to have him come to the funeral.”

“I don't blame Saul on the one hand. They had drifted apart long before that. Saul had warned my father not to marry Etta, but he did anyway. That was the beginning of the end of their friendship.”

“Etta being Vanessa's mother.”

Chloe turned away from him, nodding.

“That marriage must have been hard for you, too?”

“My father was so lonely after my mother died, and when he met Etta I think he figured she would fix that.” Chloe picked up the empty water bottle he had set aside and put that in the basket as well, not looking at him, her expression pensive.

“So what happened between them that made her leave?”

“A few years after they got married, my grandfather passed away. And we got to find out how badly Gramps had managed the finances. My father didn't inherit as much as Etta seemed to think he would. Then my father had his accident with his ATV. She couldn't live poor and with a disabled man, so she left.”

“So how long were Etta and Vanessa at the ranch?”

“About three years. Most of high school. I was excited when Vanessa first moved in,” she continued. “I was looking forward to finally having a sister, but...”

She stopped herself there and Grady guessed what her next comment would be. “She wasn't the easiest person.”

“I had so hoped to be close to her,” Chloe said, grabbing a spray bottle and cleaning cloth. “But that never happened. I liked riding and being outside and she preferred makeup and magazines and boys. We were so completely different.” She sprayed the mat he had just used and glanced up at him. “I guess you can't identify. You and your brother always seemed so close. I guess it was because you are twins.”

“We used to be close,” Grady said, rubbing his hand over his still-sore thigh. “Used to do everything together. But after high school, after Dad had his accident and my mother left, we drifted apart.” He released a harsh laugh. “You'd think we would have become closer after that, but we didn't. I signed up for the army after my mother left. My way of coping...of making sense of life. Ben chose his own path.”

“I'm sure losing your mother was a difficult time for you both.”

“And you know what that's like, don't you?”

“You feel adrift.”

Chloe sounded wistful and he felt sympathy flood his soul as their gazes met in an instant of shared grief. “But you found your way, didn't you? You became a physical therapist. You got married.”

“I did,” she said, turning away, wiping the mat and pushing herself to her feet.

“So how did you and your ex-husband meet?”

“Not my best moment. We met in a bar. He seemed nice.” She grew quiet and he sensed an underlying disconnect.

“Seemed nice?”

She released a short laugh. “I was impressionable.”

Which only made him more curious. He knew he had to stop. He was moving into places in her life he had no right to go.

So why did her terse replies only raise more questions he wanted the answers to?

He watched her, letting his feelings for her rise up, wondering if he dared act on them.

Then she looked over her shoulder at him and it was as if an electric current hummed between them.

He felt as though it wasn't a matter of
if
he would give in to the appeal she created, but
when
.

CHAPTER TEN

“Y
ou did good today,” Chloe said to Grady as she poured a cup of coffee for him. “Your second day of therapy and I can see some progress. Couple more weeks of this and I'm sure you'll notice the difference.”

Grady just groaned his response, his eyes closed, head resting on the back of the leather couch he had dropped into after supper. He had just come in from feeding the horses for the night.

The storm, now in its second day, still raged outside, still cut them off from everyone else. Chloe and Grady had gone out this morning to check on the horses and then, when they'd come back, Chloe had put him to work.

She had managed to get in another session this afternoon, but now they were done for the day.

A fire crackled in the fireplace of the living room, sending out blessed warmth. The lights had been turned low, creating a cozy, intimate setting. Mamie sat on the couch across from Grady, reading a book, a blanket wrapped around her legs. For someone who was supposed to be ill she looked quite perky, Chloe thought.

“The second day of therapy is always the hardest,” she said. “Mamie, did you want more coffee?”

Mamie looked up from the book she was reading and pulled off her glasses. She released a heavy sigh. “No. I'm still not feeling well. I think I might turn in.”

“I still think we should call a doctor,” Grady said, lifting his head to frown at his grandmother.

“I'm not that ill. I just need rest.” She gave Chloe a wan smile. “I'll check on Cody before I go to bed. You two just stay here.” She set her book down on the small table beside the couch, glasses neatly on top, set her blanket aside and made a show of getting to her feet.

Chloe watched her little performance, and her feeling that Mamie wasn't being entirely truthful was borne out when she got a faint wink from Mamie as she walked past.

Was she deliberately leaving the two of them alone?

The thought made her flush again. She wasn't sure what to do about her changing feelings for Grady, and she knew being alone with him would make it harder to keep herself aloof from him. In fact, the past few days her determination to stay focused on her job had been more difficult the more she got distracted by attraction she sensed growing between them.

She placed her hand on her stomach, as if to remind herself of the single reason she had to keep her heart whole. The secret she knew she couldn't keep quiet much longer. Sooner or later she had to tell Mamie at least. But it was her innate sense of self-protection that made her keep her secret. Thankfully she could wear looser clothing today while she worked with Grady so she could demonstrate some of the exercises she wanted him to do. But her clothes were getting tighter. She was getting close to five months now. She knew she would start showing soon.

“I should get to bed, too, but I'm too lazy,” Grady said, easing out a sigh as he reached for his coffee. “I figure I've done enough work today that I should be able to sit around.”

Because Grady had no other obligations, Chloe had extended the afternoon session as long as she dared, working different muscle groups each time. He had willingly gone along, even though she knew it had to be hard for him. “Like I said, you did good today.”

“It will be a long while before I can climb into a saddle.”

“You won't be roping any time soon, but riding is certainly not out of the question in time,” Chloe said, hoping to encourage him. She guessed it was difficult enough for him to feel disabled. To not be able to ride must feel horrible. Of all the things she'd missed while living in the city, the ability to go out for a ride was one of the biggest.

“If I can get on.”

“You're only limited by yourself,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. As soon as the words left her mouth she realized how trite they sounded. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mouthing platitudes at you. Occupational hazard.”

“Do you enjoy your job?”

“When I'm working, yes. I do.”

“How did you get into that line of work?”

“I think part of it was a reaction to what happened to my father.”

“He was injured riding his ATV, wasn't he?”

“Which is ironic. He got the thing because he had been thrown from a horse once and didn't want that to happen again.” Chloe cradled her warm mug, her thoughts melancholy. “He never got over the injury. I think after losing my mother, and his accident and divorce from Etta, he lost all will to do anything. He just stayed at home, started drinking and things just went downhill from there. Including the ranch. I always wished I could have helped him more, but unfortunately I had—” She stopped herself there. Grady didn't need to know all the sordid details of her past.

“You had what?” Grady prompted.

“Doesn't matter.”

“Does your ‘doesn't matter' have anything to do with your ex-husband?”

He was far too astute, Chloe thought.

“Why do you want to know?” she asked, looking down at her cup of coffee, avoiding his direct gaze. Part of her wanted to tell him, to let him know precisely what Jeremy meant to her. Precious little. Even though they had been married for three years, she had felt alone in their relationship for most of that time.

It was that loneliness that made her vulnerable to Grady's attention.

That and the fact Grady was one of the first men in her life to hold her heart. Though she had tried to dismiss her initial attraction to him as a silly schoolgirl crush, images and memories of him had stayed with her the entire time she'd been gone from Little Horn. When she'd found out he had signed up for the army, she'd guessed that she would never see him again. So she had put him out of her life.

Then she had met Jeremy.

“I'm guessing the fact that you, of all people, are now divorced makes it pretty clear that things weren't right between you and your ex-husband. Plus, I'm curious.” Grady put his coffee cup down, got to his feet and hobbled over to the fireplace. He knelt and threw on a couple of logs on the fire. Sparks flew up the chimney. He stayed there a moment, looking at her, the fire casting a glow over his handsome face, creating interesting highlights in his sandy brown hair.

For a few precious moments the only sounds were the crackling of the fire in the fireplace and the sighing of the steady wind outside.

“I also want to know what I'm up against,” Grady continued.

Chloe's breath caught in her chest like a knot. “What do you mean?” The question was superfluous. She knew exactly what he meant, but she felt she had to try to keep a distance.

Then, to her shock and pleasure, Grady moved to sit beside her on the couch.

“I mean that I want to fill in the gaps between then and now in our lives.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. His hand lingered on her cheek and she swallowed the attraction she felt building.

“I'm not that interesting and my life with Jeremy—” She stopped there.

“Was what?” he asked. “What was your life with Jeremy like?”

Chloe looked down, her eyelashes shielding her eyes, her lips pressed together.

“Tell me,” he whispered, his fingers lightly caressing her cheek.

Shame suffused her at the memory of her marriage, but she also felt a need to unload. To let someone know. Her years with Jeremy had been so lonely. She'd had no mother or father to confide in, and all her friends had been either gone or busy with their own lives.

“He was nice at first. Very charming. But I found out afterward that he was very charming to more women than just me.” As she had throughout her marriage, she struggled to separate Jeremy's actions from her life. “I tried to make it work, but it was a failed effort from the start. Jeremy never had any intention of staying faithful. I'm still not sure why he married me.”

“Because you're a sweet, caring person,” Grady said.

Her heart tilted and she put her hand to her chest as if to hold its errant beat still. Grady was growing harder to resist.

“And that's kind of you to say, but I think he simply saw me as a challenge. I told him the first time we met that I didn't think he was the marrying kind, and he seemed determined to prove me wrong, and I eventually fell for his shtick.” It still embarrassed her to admit she was so gullible.

So weak.

“Sorry, I have to go.” She swallowed down a sob as shame suffused her.

But Grady's hand was still curled around her neck and he didn't release her.

“What's wrong, Chloe?” His hand was warm, his voice soft and encouraging. “Tell me what's wrong.”

Don't look at him
, she thought.
Don't give in again.

“Please?”

It was that single word that broke down her defenses. That word spoken so softly she might have imagined it but for the way his arms tightened around her as if letting her know she was safe.

A word she'd never, ever heard from her ex-husband.

So she gave in.

“Like I told you, we met in a bar,” she said. “He was charming. I had just gotten a new job working at a physical therapy clinic, and I had just found out that two of my good friends had gotten engaged. Two others were already married. I guess I wasn't in the best frame of mind to have an attractive man flirting with me. He asked me out and I accepted and soon we were seeing each other regularly.

“Like I said, I made the mistake of telling him I didn't think he was the marrying kind. That's when he turned on the charm. We were married six months after we started dating. Of course it was too quick, but what did I know? I was flattered and I thought he cared about me.” She stopped, memories she had suppressed for the past few months returning with a vengeance. Confrontations about his cheating. His lackadaisical attitude. His assurance that if he hadn't married her, no one would have. “It was a mistake that I've regretted ever since.”

“Why?”

“It's embarrassing.”

Again he said nothing, as if waiting for her to fill the silence. So she did.

“Jeremy cheated on me most of our relationship. I found out afterward that this was going on even before we got married. Information that would have been helpful before I said ‘I do' and made promises that I had every intention of keeping and he didn't.” She knew it wasn't her fault, but the shame that had filled her when she'd found out how she had been duped returned too easily.

Thankfully Grady said nothing, just held her as if giving her statement weight.

“So you divorced him?”

“I should have. But when I confronted him about his unfaithfulness, he told me he was filing for divorce. He was good friends with a judge and hustled our divorce through the courts. I think he couldn't stand the idea that I might actually divorce him first.”

She stopped, thinking of the reason Jeremy had divorced her. He had never wanted children. And she had gotten pregnant.

“The divorce was finalized only two months ago,” she continued. “It wasn't what I wanted, but I realized, afterward, it needed to happen.”

She stopped there and, as if in response to her declaration the baby she carried moved and Chloe closed her eyes, all the joy in the moment receding. She was carrying another man's baby.

Grady tipped her face up to his. “You don't have to feel ashamed of what happened to you. If anything it has shown me that you are a faithful, caring person.” He stroked her face with his fingers, his very touch seeming to ease away her fears. “I think we've both got our stuff to deal with, but I like to believe that we can get through whatever happened. I've discovered one thing since I've come back here. I'm not alone in what I'm dealing with and neither are you. We've got a community and family and support. And we have an amazing life here. I've seen some difficult things to make me realize what we have been blessed with.”

She leaned back, her hand still on his chest, keeping the connection between them. “Do you talk about it much? What you saw overseas?”

“Haven't much. I came back to quite a storm of events. Between Vanessa claiming I was Cody's father and Ben's coma and the ranch stuff, I felt as if I had to simply dive in and do what came next.”

“Was it hard to come back?”

Grady looked away from her, his eyes taking on a faraway look as if he was returning to Afghanistan. “I saw a lot over there that made me angry, sad, guilty and at the same time so incredibly thankful for the life we have here. It was hard seeing what I saw and experiencing what I did. But I made a decision early on in my career that I wasn't letting my experiences define me. I lost my way from that declaration for a while...” His voice faded.

“You said it once before that you didn't believe God hears prayer,” Chloe prompted.

“I think He hears it but I'm not sure what He does about it.”

His words bothered her, but she could see that in spite of their harshness he didn't seem entirely convinced of their truth.

“I know it's hard to see God through the storms, but I know He has helped me through many,” Chloe said quietly. “I know you had a strong, sincere faith at one time.”

Grady sighed. “I did. It's still there, but I'm not so sure God wants me with all the questions I have now. I have to confess I'm struggling right now. Trying to find my footing. In more ways than one,” he said with a short laugh.

“‘Even strong men stumble,'” Chloe quoted. “I don't think God minds our questions. I think He prefers that to indifference.”

Grady seemed to weigh that, his expression serious. “I know that I miss that closeness.”

“God is still there, Grady. Maybe you'll just have to move a bit closer yourself and take your questions along.”

“I think you might be right,” he said.

“I know I've always had to learn that this world is God's. He's ultimately in control. And He's a just God, so sometimes some of the questions will have to wait.” She felt as if she was speaking as much to herself as to him. “I know in my heart that while I may wonder where my life is headed, I believe that if I hope in the Lord, like the pastor preached on Sunday, that my strength will be renewed. I think you can believe that, too.”