Love Lessons (3 page)

“It's time for school?” Jana's grim expression deepened.

Alexa slipped into the chair near the girl. “No, not yet. I was a little early. I thought the first day we could spend time getting to know each other.”

The child's eyes widened. “Have you run that by Dad?”

“Well, no, not yet.”

“You'd better. I have a timetable, and I'm sure he's gonna want you to follow it.”

A timetable?
That sounded worse than a schedule, more rigid. She shouldn't be surprised. But the idea sent a shiver down her length. The years she'd lived at home, her father had insisted she follow a strict schedule—he might as well have said timetable—to the point she'd never felt she could just be a child, spontaneous, perhaps daydreaming, free to let her creative mind come up with something to do. Her mother had been more encouraging of Alexa's naturally
carefree nature, but she'd never directly interfered with her husband's mandates.

As soon as she'd graduated from high school, she'd gotten into the used car that her grandfather had given her, and drove until she'd ended up in Tallgrass, Oklahoma, where some of her mother's cousins were. Her father had insisted she go to Vanderbilt University and become a doctor like him. He'd dreamed of his child going into practice with him. When he'd first told her that, she'd laughed, not thinking him serious. She went weak-kneed at the sight of blood. How was she going to be a doctor?

“Okay, I'll have a word with your dad.”

“About what?” a deep, gravelly voice said behind her.

Alexa glanced over her shoulder as Ian poured himself some coffee. Not a hair was out of place, and he'd buttoned his shirt correctly, as well as tucked it into his slacks. Didn't he work at home? Or was he going out? “About spending some time with Jana getting to know her before we dig into schoolwork.”

“Sure. You have about twenty minutes right now. Would you like some coffee?” He lifted the pot as though preparing to fill a mug for her.

Alexa pressed her lips together before she blurted something out that would get her fired before she'd really started.
Lord, I need patience.
“I'll pass on the coffee. Too bitter for me.” She rose, turning completely to face the man. “I was hoping Jana and I could spend a little more time than twenty minutes getting acquainted.”

Taking a sip of his drink, he rounded the kitchen island. “How much time are you talking?”

“Personally, I feel it should be all day, but at least this morning.”

“All day!” His eyes grew round. He peered beyond
Alexa at his daughter. “Honey, I'm going to give Alexa a tour of the house and show her the room we use for our lessons. Why don't you finish breakfast and read, then come to the classroom in, say—” he glanced at his watch “—thirty minutes.”

After a cursory look at the family room off the kitchen, she followed Ian to see the rest of the house, feeling as though she was taking a trip to the principal's office. The tour took five minutes, with him waving his hand toward the entrance into his bedroom from the end of the short hall that led to it. He opened the door to his office and allowed her a quick peek inside—getting the impression of orderliness like an army barracks right before inspection—before moving on. Alexa passed the formal dining room on the way to Jana's bedroom, where he paused for a good minute while she took in the perfectly neat, everything-put-in-a-specific-place room with no posters on the wall and little personal items on display.

The tour finally came to a stop at the classroom—five feet away from Jana's door. He entered and stood off to the side while she circled the row of desks and tried to tamp down her sense of apprehension. This was a sterile model of a classroom in a school except there were only six desks. And why six? Did Jana move from seat to seat with each shift in subject matter?

He waved his hand toward the bookcase. “Those are the textbooks I've been using. I've left detailed notes of what I've covered with Jana and where I stopped.” He crossed to the “teacher's desk” and picked up a stack of papers—more like the manuscript of a long book—and gave them to her.

She was in over her head. She didn't care what Nancy Baker thought. This was worse than her adviser realized.

“Since I'll be working a lot, I thought you could turn in
lesson plans each night, and I'll look them over and give them back to you with my notes before you start the next morning. Then you can adjust according to my suggestions.”

Examining the very detailed schedule—no, strike that, timetable—of what was to be done down to five-or ten-minute intervals, she really tried to keep the horror from her expression, but she must have failed, because he tilted his head to the side with a puzzled expression and asked, “Is there a problem with that scenario?”

Where do I begin?
She drew in a deep, calming breath, then another one. “I know you're paying me to work with Jana and teach her, but I must be able to establish a rapport with her or I won't be able to maximize her learning. Doing that on a timetable is difficult.”

“What's wrong with a timetable?”

The genuine inquiry in his question pulled at her. This man didn't realize he didn't control his life. It was in the Lord's hands. No matter how much you structure your life, it could change instantly. Hers had her senior year in high school with the sudden death of her boyfriend. “Nothing per se, and I know that children need structure and boundaries, but not down to every five or ten minutes being planned. Being spontaneous in teaching can keep it exciting and alive for students. Help tap into their curiosity and creativity.”

“Jana has been learning much better than the whole of last year.”

His defensive tone underscored the fight she would have to change this man's mind. She heaved a sigh and decided to take a risk. “I'm asking you to give me a week my way, and then if I haven't convinced you, I'll try yours.”

His eyebrows crunched together. “A week?”

“I need to get to know her. Her likes and dislikes. Her dreams.”

“I can tell you those. And although I want you to like Jana, I didn't hire you to be her new best friend. You're the tutor. I'll still be involved some in her education. I promised her I wouldn't totally abandon her.”

The force of his voice faded slightly at the end of the last sentence, making Alexa wonder what was behind those words. Was he talking about his wife walking out on the family? Or something else? Again that connection sprang up, and she wanted to help him any way she could with his daughter. He had a way of peering at her in a certain manner that sparked something deep inside her.

He looked away and stared out the window behind the teacher's desk. Finally, after a long minute, he swung his full attention back to her. “Tell you what. I'll give you a day to get to know my daughter. Then you can follow my schedule.”

She should make a stand and walk if he didn't agree to her terms. She stared at the stony expression on his face now as though he regretted that brief glimpse of vulnerability. For that full minute she'd seen a war of emotions—pain, sadness, anger—flicker in and out of his eyes, and it had touched her more than she wanted to acknowledge. He wasn't as in control of his emotions as he desired. Suddenly leaving Jana, and even Ian, was distasteful to Alexa. She would make this work somehow.

Lord, I'm gonna need Your help BIG time.

“Fine. I'll take your schedule home tonight and study it.”
Since I can't burn it.
“And I appreciate the notes on where Jana is educationally.” She gave him a sweet smile, remembering the look of hurt and sadness she'd seen in his eyes.

“I'm glad we're finally on the same page.”

Of different books.
Alexa headed for the hallway, needing to get out of the sterile classroom with a bookcase, one teacher desk and six student desks, a dry eraser board, a
state-of-the-art computer and printer and a world globe. Her first job would be getting to know the ten-year-old child in her charge. The second was doing something about that classroom if she had to stay and teach in it. It needed color, posters, items to excite a child to learn.

In the corridor Alexa shifted to face him. “Why six desks?”

“If you look over the schedule, you'll see where a group of students come to the house for math. I participate in a co-op through Helping Hands Homeschooling.”

“They do? Does Jana go to their house for classes?” Although she was pretty sure of the answer after talking with Nancy Baker, she hoped to get more information from Ian about their situation.

“Not yet. We do some things here, and it gets her around other children her age.”

“You told me she doesn't go to a lot of places,” she said, trying another tactic to get some answers to the multiple questions she had about what had happened to make Jana the way she was. What happened to put that look of sadness in her eyes?

“She'll go to the therapist and has managed a couple of other places with me there. But so far, that's all.” His expression closed down, a tic twitching in his jawline.

“How about around the neighborhood, lake, yard?”

“Definitely the lake by our house and our yard. She's also gone to our next-door neighbors'. Kelly babysits her some, always here, however. Alexa will go see Kelly sometimes, but never for long.”

“Kelly lives next door?”

“Yes, on the right. She's fifteen and has befriended my daughter.” In the kitchen he refilled his mug with coffee. “I'll be in my office if you need anything. We eat lunch at eleven-thirty.”

“Okay,” Alexa murmured while he left.

She definitely would go home tonight and read up on separation anxiety, but she didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out Jana was scared her father would leave her as her mother had. Alexa knew about loss. She also knew what it was like to be estranged from a parent. Although her father was marginally in her life, their relationship was shaky at best. What few conversations on the phone they'd had in the past five years had been stilted and formal. The pain of his rejection still twisted her stomach in a huge knot.

Entering the kitchen, Alexa covered the distance to Jana and sat next to her. When the child removed her earplugs and peered at her, Alexa asked, “What are you reading?”

“
Silas Marner,
” Jana said as though she'd taken a dose of foul-tasting medicine.

Nancy had said Jana was bright, and Alexa was beginning to see how bright. “What do you think of the story?”

“Booor—ing.”

“Then don't read it. There are tons of good stories out there for you to enjoy.”

“Dad wants me to read one classic a week. I love to read, just not these type.” She flipped her hand toward the book. “They're slow. I don't care about the past.”

“Like any book, if you don't care for the topic, it won't be as interesting to you.” She pointed to the paperback. “For today I'd like you to put it aside. You can finish it tomorrow.”

“But Dad was gonna talk to me at dinner tonight about it.”

“I'm sure he can postpone it until tomorrow evening.” At least she hoped he would amend his schedule this one time. “He thought we should get to know each other first.”

Doubt turned the corners of Jana's mouth down. “He did?” Jana scraped her chair back and leaped to her feet then whirled around and charged across the kitchen into the hallway.

Alexa quickly followed, hoping the path to Ian's office didn't become worn by the end of the day.

Jana hurried in to see her father. “Dad, I thought I had to finish
Silas Marner
this morning and write a report. Have you changed your mind? She says I don't have to do it today.”

Alexa appeared in the doorway, the challenge to her authority still ringing in her ears. Ian's narrowed gaze fixed on her. He'd begrudgingly gone along with the plan for her to get to know Jana first. Would he openly challenge her in front of his daughter?

A
s Ian took in the pair standing in his office, his attention shifted from Alexa to his daughter. “Honey, you and Alexa will be spending a lot of time together. I think it would be nice if you two got to know each other.” He closed the file on the computer he was working on, preparing for Jana's protest.

“What about the book?” Jana asked with a huff.

“We'll talk about it tomorrow evening.”
Tonight I'm going to be questioning you about Alexa. Did I make the right decision?
There had been another candidate he'd interviewed who might have worked out. She was younger than the first one and had worked as a teacher's assistant in another state. But for some reason he couldn't even define, he'd decided to go with Jana's reluctant choice out of all the candidates. Had his daughter changed her mind already? That was quicker than the Attila the Hun debacle.

“Fine.” Jana flounced out of the office, passing Alexa, who stepped to the side.

After Jana left, Alexa stayed, even moving a few more paces into the room. “Thank you. You won't regret hiring me.”

“I hope you're right. My daughter's welfare means everything to me.”
She's all I have, and I won't ever abandon her like her mother did.

Alexa flashed him a smile, “I can see that,” then swung around and walked from the office.

He could read her every emotion on her face, and he knew she was wary of him. She thought he was too rigid in his ways. That hadn't always been the case. Once he'd embraced life as it had come at him until one incident after another had knocked any spontaneity from him.

Alexa reminded him of what it felt like to be impulsive…and happy. The thought sent panic through him. She was so different from people he gravitated toward. She was too much like his ex-wife—flamboyant, carefree, too flexible. And even worse, Alexa and he were years apart. At least he and Tracy were close to the same age.

Although he and his wife had had problems in their marriage, he'd thought they could work them out. She hadn't. Her walking away without a backward glance had sucker punched him. He'd desperately tried to cling to something and found that a schedule and structure in his life, as well as Jana's, had helped even more than before. Going with the flow only caused a person to go aimlessly through life with no purpose.

He'd give Alexa today. Tomorrow was his.

 

“This is a beautifully carved bench. I can't believe your father made it.” Not sure if she should sit on the piece of furniture that was more a work of art than anything else, Alexa ran her hand over the intricately patterned design in the wood, which had begun to weather. She couldn't believe it sat under a large oak tree where the elements could rain down on it. Hours had been spent on this piece,
and it seemed as though it had been carelessly tossed outside to deteriorate.

“Yeah, Dad used to do woodworking a lot, mostly on the weekends.” Jana tossed a pebble into the lake then plopped down on the bench. “This was his last piece.”

Alexa took the seat next to the child. “Used to? He doesn't anymore?”

“No, he stopped when—” Jana snapped her mouth close. Her jawline firmed into a clenched countenance.

As much as Alexa wished she and Jana could talk about her mother, Alexa kept those questions locked away for another time. “That's a shame. He's very good.”

“Yeah.” Jana spread her legs apart and dangled her clasped hands between them. “He'd been in the middle of making me a bench for my room. He never finished it. It's still sitting in the garage half done.”

“Did you ask him about it?”

“No. Things just haven't been the same—lately.”

“Where did he work? The garage?”

“Yeah. Since it had been built for three cars, he used the extra space to make a small workshop for himself so he could get as messy as he wanted.”

Messy? Ian? From all she'd seen, she hadn't thought him capable. Well, maybe except for the stack of files on his desk in his office. But even they had been in an orderly pile. Then she remembered his tousled hair and his shirt buttoned wrong, as if he'd hurried when she'd arrived this morning. Her breath caught as the picture materialized in her mind. She quickly shook that image away and asked, “Did you ever make anything with wood?”

“Nope. That doesn't interest me.”

“What does, besides reading good books?” Although she'd discovered a few things about Jana today, the child
had been pretty closemouthed most of the morning. She'd ended up telling the young girl about herself, hoping to make some kind of connection.

“I love animals.” Jana pointed out on the lake. “See those geese and ducks? It won't be too much longer before they'll have babies. When that happens, I keep a running tally of how many. Last year we had forty-three babies born here.”

“What's your favorite animal?”

“Dogs. I never got to have one.”

“I have a dog named Charlie. I got him a few years back at the pound. He's been the best pet and a great watchdog except that when anyone new comes into my house he runs and hides. Barks like crazy while they're outside, though.” Alexa watched several Canada geese circle the lake then glide down until they lit upon the water. “What's stopping you from having a pet?”

Jana didn't say anything for a long moment, her hands twisting together. Her expression darkened, her eyebrows slashing downward. Was this something to do with her mother? Had the woman disliked animals?

“Jana, are you all right?”

“I kept thinking Mom would return home. She's allergic to dogs and I didn't want to have to get rid of a pet. I guess she isn't gonna.” Her pout increased. “She doesn't even call. She's written a couple of times, but I want to talk to her. I even tried calling her once. No one answered. The second time I called the same number it was disconnected.” Jana drew in a shaky breath.

Alexa waited a few minutes to see if Jana would elaborate. When she didn't, Alexa said, “I know when I've had a particularly bad day I love hugging and petting Charlie. He's the best pick-me-upper.”

Jana shook her head, as though ridding her thoughts of something unpleasant, and focused on Alexa. “What kind is he?”

“Oh, a mix of four or five kinds probably. He's large, black and brown with a little white around the face. He has a long tail that wags constantly unless he's running and hiding.”

Jana laughed.

The lilting sound was beautiful, the first time Alexa had heard it. The child lounged back, her long legs stretched out.

“I hope you'll bring Charlie over one day. I'd love to meet him.”

“I'm not sure your dad would like to have Charlie in the house. He can get overenthusiastic and bump into things. I've lost a few items because he's crashed into them. But anytime you want to visit him at my house, I'd love to have you.”

Jana's relaxed expression dissolved. “Maybe,” she murmured, although she didn't sound very convincing. Straightening, she glanced at her watch. “It's eleven-thirty. Lunch will be ready.” She hopped to her feet and hurried toward the covered patio.

A ten-year-old wearing a watch? Alexa shook her head. A child shouldn't be that concerned about time yet. That was one piece of jewelry she didn't own—wouldn't.

Alexa covered the distance to the patio and entered the kitchen to find Jana standing in the middle of it, her face pale, her whole body shaking. “What's wrong?”

“Dad's not here! He should be here.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Have you checked his office?” Alexa hurried toward the girl and wrapped her arms around her, half expecting Jana to pull away.

But she didn't. She buried herself against Alexa. “Yes. He always has lunch ready by this time. Something's happened.”

She stroked her hand down the child's back. “I'm sure he's fine. He probably had to run an errand. I can fix us something to eat.”

“No, he tells me when he's leaving.” A sob escaped Jana's mouth, then another.

Alexa hugged the girl, wishing she could erase the anxiety that gripped Jana. The sound of her crying riveted her full attention until Alexa heard the garage door going up. She eased back and looked into the child's tear-streaked face. “Your dad is home.”

Swiping her cheeks, Jana flew from Alexa's arms and raced toward the door to the garage, flinging it open. As Alexa came to the entrance, the girl hurled herself into her father's embrace.

“Where were you? You scared me. I thought something had happened to you.” Jana's breathless words tumbled from her mouth.

“Honey, I'm so sorry. I thought I would go grab us all some burgers. I wasn't going to be gone long, but got caught in a construction zone. I tried calling. No one answered. I figured you were still outside.” Ian peered at Alexa, pain in his eyes. “I didn't mean to scare you. You and Alexa were busy talking and…” The rest of his explanation faded into the silence—a silence only broken by Jana's renewed sobbing.

Alexa approached the pair. “Let me take the burgers and get the table set.” She felt as though she'd stepped into the middle of a family moment she had no business witnessing.

“Thanks.” Ian held out the paper bag, the scent of fries peppering the air.

Over the top of his daughter's head, his gaze linked with hers. With his brow creased, his vulnerability reached out to Alexa, making her want to smooth his worries away. She hurriedly snatched the bag and rushed inside.

She'd been there herself five years before when her high school sweetheart was killed in a freak accident on a baseball field. Her whole life had been rocked to its foundation, changed in one instant. They'd planned to marry the following year after graduation even though her father would have objected and tried to stop the wedding. It wouldn't have made any difference. She'd loved Daniel and what they'd shared hadn't been puppy love as her father had told her several times. Although Daniel hadn't walked out on her, he'd left her to face her father alone and to pick up the pieces of her life.

Her hands trembling, Alexa set the food down on a place mat, clasping the edge of the table for a few seconds before she went to the refrigerator and withdrew a pitcher of ice water and a carton of milk. After retrieving some glasses from the cabinet, she sat to wait for Ian and Jana and try to make some sense out of why she was led to them. The sound of the door to the garage opening drew her attention. Her young charge, her eyes red but the fear gone from her expression, hurried into the kitchen, making a beeline for the chair she'd used that morning, and plopped into it.

“I love the food from Incredible Burger.” Jana squirted ketchup on her plate and scooped some up with a fry, then popped it into her mouth.

“I know. That's why I thought I'd go get some hamburgers instead of fixing sandwiches,” a sober Ian said, striding toward them.

“I have to agree with Jana. Incredible Burger has the best food.” Alexa took a bite of her thick, juicy hamburger. “Jana told me you used to do woodworking. I was admiring that bench you made. It's beautiful.”

Ian's gaze strayed toward the window that overlooked the backyard. “That was one of my best pieces.”

“Do you have any others around here?”

“No, I've given them away. Most of them were smaller. I hadn't been doing carpentry that long, and now I don't have the time.”

He might not realize the wistfulness that sounded in his voice when he said that last sentence, but Alexa heard it. Everyone needed a creative outlet. She suspected that Ian's had been his woodwork pieces.

“Dad, I've got one of your boxes.”

“I forgot about that. It was one of my first attempts.”

“I love it. I keep my treasures in it.”

Alexa took a sip of her ice water. “May I see it?”

“Yeah, I'll get it.” Jana started to get up.

“Pumpkin, you can wait until after lunch.”

The child dropped back onto her chair. “Alexa told me she has a dog named Charlie. She got him at the pound. Can we get a dog from the pound?”

“What about the geese and ducks that like to wander into our yard?”

“We can get a small dog that stays in the house. When it needs to go out, I'll walk it on a leash.”

Ian's gaze swept to Alexa for a long moment, his doubt that a pet would be a good fit for Jana and him in his expression. When he peered at his daughter, he said, “A dog will cause prob—” His words sputtered to a stop. “If you want a dog from the pound, you'll have to go and pick it out. A pet's a very personal decision, not one I'll do for you.”

“I can get an animal.” Excitement filled Jana's voice, and a smile encompassed her whole face for half a minute until she paused, her forehead wrinkled. Her mouth scrunched up into a frown. “We'd go together?”

“Of course.”

“I'll think about it.” Jana dived into the rest of her
lunch, silent, staring at the place mat as though mulling over her dilemma.

At the end of the meal Ian stood and gathered up the trash. “Jana, I have an appointment this afternoon at two. I'll be back by three-thirty. Okay?”

His daughter locked gazes with him and nodded, then picked up the three empty glasses and took them to the sink. “I'm gonna get the box.”

When they were alone, Ian paused near Alexa, throwing a glance toward the doorway Jana left through. “I imagine you have questions. Is it possible for you to stay this evening for dinner and then you and I can talk afterward?”

“What are you going to have?”

“For dinner?”

“Yes.”

“What if I said I don't know?” A twinkle gleamed in his eyes, his dimple winking at her.

“I wouldn't believe you. You're the type who has his meals all planned for the week, possibly even the whole month.”